Breathless (22 page)

"But when I came here," she added softly, "I changed. I met a family who showed me such love and kindness, and who showed me that I could return it back to them, and that it would be appreciated. And now I realize...that my own, real family would probably have been the same way. If I had let them in."

Jack shook his head apologetically. "I'm so sorry. For judging you."

"I did the same to you," Charlotte admitted. "I just always thought you were spoiled and sour."

"I was," Jack agreed. "I still am. But I think I'm getting better." He bit his lip and looked down at his hands. "I once told you about all of my friends going off to war and leaving me behind. But I didn't tell you the entire story. Growing up, I had one best friend. His name was Joey. We were born only one day apart. We went everywhere together and did everything together. We were basically inseparable, as if we were twins. My mum used to call us twins." Charlotte smiled, imagining Jack as a little boy. "And when the war began, we both wanted to enlist. But Joey's father let him, and my parents didn't let me. And one month into training, he was killed by a stray bullet at target practice. He was sixteen."

Charlotte's hand flew to her mouth. "I'm so sorry, Jack," she whispered.

"I just couldn't believe that something like that could happen," Jack said quietly, as if talking to himself. "He was sixteen. He hadn't really done anything or gone anywhere. He had barely kissed a girl. And he was dead and buried. And meanwhile, I was still attending school and doing my homework and eating extravagant dinners with my family. It just didn't seem fair."

"It's not," Charlotte shook her head. "Life isn't fair."

"It's not," Jack repeated. "But when he died, I felt like everything ended. I had never experienced a loss like that. So that's when this whole...downward spiral of my life began. And I just never had the courage to get out of it."

And then he stopped talking, frowning and looking down at his hands, lost in his own world that Charlotte hadn't known even existed. She reached back and took his hand in her own. "Jack...these bad things...they're terrible. And they're not easy to overcome, no matter how many people say it'll be alright. Sometimes you just need someone to tell you that everything's not alright...but that maybe someday you'll be able to understand everything a little better."

Jack looked up at her with a strained expression. But it wasn't cold and it wasn't angry or sad...it was understanding. He knew what she was saying.

"I'm glad you told me," Charlotte told him honestly. "I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me."

"Charlotte," Jack told her suddenly, grasping her hand tightly. "I need to tell you something-"

"Not now, Jack," Charlotte told him with a smile, pulling him to his feet. "It's nearly time for the show to start and I don't want you to miss it. Please go to your seat so you won't miss the beginning? It's really the only part of the show where I look presentable." She laughed. "And I promise we can talk more later. When I'm not so...nervous. Okay?"

Jack looked disappointed, but nodded. "Okay," he agreed. "We'll talk later." He walked to the door but turned to her before leaving. "Good luck, Charlotte. You're not going to need it...but I want to be able to say I had a part in your amazing first performance."

Charlotte grinned. "Thank you. I'll see you after."

He nodded and gave her one last smile before stepping out the door and closing it after him quietly.

Charlotte leaned against the closed door and sighed, a smile escaping her lips. Just being around him made her feel so excited, so exhilarated. It was a perfect feeling. She just wanted it more and more. She wanted it to last forever.

"Charlotte, can I come in?" came a voice and a knock.

Charlotte's heart leapt. Had he come back? Even though she had asked him to leave, she was excited at the thought of him coming back for her. She quickly wrenched open the door, but was shocked to see Wesley standing in the doorway instead.

"Wes!" she cried, stepping aside to let him in. "We're starting in five minutes! You should be getting ready on your side of the stage!"

"I know, I know, Charlotte," he told her breathlessly. He looked so handsome in his nice suit and slicked hair. He looked like a true, old-fashioned gentleman. "But I just had to tell you before we began..." Charlotte held her breath, not sure what he was about to say to her. "I just had to tell you how amazing you are," he finally managed. "For being so brave to come here and step out on that stage. But you're not just performing, Charlotte. You're really
acting
, like no one I've ever seen before. You literally take my breath away," he said, laughing embarrassedly. "And seeing you outside of rehearsals the other night...it made me only more sure that you really are as amazing as I had thought you were before we even met. You're just...inspirational. Incredible."

Charlotte grinned. She couldn't think of anything to say back...Wesley was just so incredibly sweet. She couldn't think of a more perfect person. She couldn't think of how anyone could be more perfect.

"I just...I wanted to tell you. Before this all started. Before you're famous and everyone wants your attention," Wesley laughed. "And...I wanted to do this..." He slowly reached and took Charlotte's hands, pulling her closer to him. Then he touched his hand to her face, tracing his thumb over her cheek, and pulled her closer. And Charlotte wanted him to. Her breath quickened as his lips neared hers, and before he could lean any closer, she reached up and pressed her lips into his. It was wonderful, the warmth of his lips against hers, the sweet taste that tingled. It was everything she had imagined it to be. But at the same time, something felt wrong.

"Sorry, Charlotte. I forgot to give you-"

Charlotte quickly broke apart from Wesley, but it wasn't quick enough. Jack had come back. And he had already seen them together.

Charlotte's cheeks turned red as she watched Jack's expression change, from pleasant to confused, and then to dismay. He looked at his feet and awkwardly cleared his throat. "Sorry. I had just wanted to come back...I forgot to give you these." He handed her a bouquet of flowers, pink and orange and yellow. Charlotte's face was furiously red as she took them from him, croaking out a weak, "thank you". Jack just nodded, and embarrassedly turned for the door, letting himself out.

"I should be going," Wesley said, sensing the tension. "I'll see you out there. Good luck, Charlotte."

"Thank you," she whispered, trying to give a small smile. But after he left the room, she let her face fall. She set the flowers, the beautiful flowers, down before her mirror, and put her head in her hands. Jack had come back, just as she had wished. But nothing felt right. Lizzie had told her that she could make her own decision...but now Charlotte wondered if the decision had already been made for her.

"Perfect!" Lewis cried, hugging Charlotte with an incredible grin on his face. "You were absolutely perfect!" He turned to the theatre patrons surrounding them at the gala and said happily, "When I wrote this play, Charlotte had been my inspiration. I knew there couldn't be a better person to play the part. And seeing her onstage tonight only made me more sure of my decision!"

"You were beautiful, darling," Helen told her, holding her. When she pulled away, Charlotte caught a glimpse of tears in Helen's eyes. "Your mother would be so proud of you. You stepped onto the stage and took everyone's breath away. You were lovely."

"Oh, I hope so!" Charlotte cried excitedly. "I was so worried that my accent would be too difficult for everyone to understand..."

"Oh dear, over the past weeks, your accent has been withering away!" Helen told her with a laugh. "I was worried that you wouldn't have enough of your accent onstage! But when you and Ruby made your first entrance and I heard your lovely little accents for the first time...I knew that it was going to be perfect."

"Perfect," Charlotte breathed happily. She had made Lewis and Helen proud. And that had been all she had wanted. But the standing ovation at the close of the show had suddenly made her realize that she now not only wanted to please the Careys, but she really wanted to be the best she could possibly be. She wanted to earn every standing ovation, every fan, every new performance. She wanted to make everything her own, until the stage belonged to her.

"You were amazing, Charlotte!" cried Wesley, running up from behind her. He picked her up and spun around. Charlotte laughed in delight, her skirt swirling around the both of them until they were both in a cloud of gold. He set her down and grinned down at her. "You really were amazing. You were born to be onstage."

"It felt like it!" Charlotte said excitedly. She bobbed on the balls of her feet and hugged Wesley tightly. "And thank you for being such a wonderful leading man! I couldn't have done it without you!"

Wesley laughed and replied, "Yes you could have." Charlotte grinned at him, loving how confident he made her feel.

"Jack!" she suddenly heard Lewis exclaim. He emerged from the crowd with his arm around Jack's shoulders. Jack was smiling politely, but Charlotte could tell that something was wrong.

"So how did you like it, Jack?" Lewis asked his son with shining eyes. "I want your honest opinion."

Jack's eyes wandered and caught Charlotte's gaze. "I thought," he said rather quietly, "that it was great, Dad. It was really like nothing you had ever written before. But I loved it."

Lewis grinned proudly and embraced his son. "And Charlotte?" he added. "Wasn't she spectacular?"

Charlotte smiled uncomfortably and looked down at her feet. But Jack replied calmly, "She was great. Really remarkable." Charlotte looked up at Jack, but he wasn't looking back at her. In fact, he seemed to be avoiding looking at her altogether.

"Let's get some photographs all together, shall we?" Helen asked excitedly, beckoning over a man with a large, professional camera. "Come on, the whole family," she requested, and Lewis and Jack dutifully posed by her side as she pulled Charlotte closer. The group smiled as the photographer took their photograph. "And now with Wesley!" she commanded, gesturing for Wes to join the group. He did, stepping slightly behind Charlotte, and she could feel the soft touch of his palm on her waist. Jack must have noticed as well. He cleared his throat uncomfortably as the flash went off.

"Alright, enough photographs," Jack said, immediately stepping away from the group and running a hand through his hair, like he always did when he was nervous.

"Oh, just one more, Jack!" Helen pled, with her most pitiful smile. "I'd love to have one of you and Charlotte together!"

Charlotte's heart dropped and she watched Jack's face drop along with it. He looked at her with solemn eyes, as if to ask
can we really fake everything this well?
Charlotte nodded, both to Jack and Helen, and walked over to his side. He gently put his arm around her waist, posing for the picture. It was strange-Charlotte could feel his warmth, could smell his wonderful scent, but everything about him felt foreign and strange. Nothing about it felt right.

Helen grinned with happiness. "Oh, you two look so beautiful together!" she cried.

And Charlotte imagined that they must have. After the show, she had scrambled to free her hair from the pin-curls they had been trapped in under the hot, sweaty wig cap. To her relief, her hair had fallen in curls down to her shoulders. She fixed her fringe to lay over her forehead nicely, before rushing to put on the gala dress that Helen had bought for her earlier that week. It was a beautiful gold-lace and tulle. It was sleeveless, the sheer neckline reaching up past her collarbone, the glittering bodice tightly fit to her waist and then the tulle fell in impressive billows past her waist and down to her ankles. Beside her, Jack was wearing a shiny new black suit with a bowtie. His hair was slicked to the side, and in the cool evening air, his cheeks were flushed and his blue eyes bright. Charlotte imagined that they must have looked perfect together, like a real couple. Little did anyone know what they were really feeling.

Again, as soon as the flash went off, Jack broke away from Charlotte. "I think I'm gonna be getting home soon," he told his parents. "It's just been a really long day with school and everything. But I really did enjoy the play. It's one of your best, Lewis." He nodded to his father in approval and hugged him once again. "And Mum, you were beautiful, as always." Charlotte could have sworn she spotted tears sprout up in Helen's eyes as Jack embraced her.

"Go get some rest, darling," she told him. "Thank you for coming. I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah, of course," Jack agreed. He gave one last passing glance at Charlotte before turning and leaving.

Charlotte didn't stay for much longer. She wasn't exactly in the mood for a big party. She was just too conflicted and confused about everything. Lewis and Helen suspected that the excitement must have all been too much for her, and that she was probably exhausted from the evening. And they were right-Charlotte was exhausted. But she was more than that. She was sad.

A chauffer from the theatre took her home in a shiny black car. Walking all alone into the Carey's house felt almost too terrible to bear. Charlotte hadn't imagined that her glorious first evening at the theatre would end like this. She had imagined coming home celebratory with Helen and Lewis, in Jack's beautiful car while he chattered happily, as he always did when he was in a good mood. But instead, the house was dark and quiet. Charlotte felt painfully alone.