Breathless (18 page)

Most of those
guys were married with a couple of kids now. Their lives hadn’t
turned out exactly as they’d planned, but Keith had finally
realized what they had was worth more than his fancy car and condo.
Their foundations were built on love, laughter, and dreams. His was
merely brick and mortar. His home could be destroyed, but nothing
could destroy their foundations.

“We’re going to
my buddy’s parents’ place. It’s just a big ol’ piece of land with a
swimming hole, but I have a hell of a lot of great memories there.”
Keith had often tried to talk his friend’s parents into selling him
the land, but they’d always refused. They claimed it had been in
their family for three generations and they couldn’t bring
themselves to sell it, not even to Keith.

Tara patted the
dashboard of his Aston Martin. “It seems a shame to put her through
this. We could have brought my car.”

“There’s
something about driving down a country road in a convertible,”
Keith said, grinning. “Tunes cranked, wind in your hair. This is
the life.” He suddenly realized that was all he needed to be happy:
the open road, land he loved, and his woman by his side.

Tara frowned as
a low-hanging tree branch grazed her ponytail. “If I laid out this
kind of money for a car, I’d never take it down a road like
this.”

“It’s only
money, Tara. Just a car.” Keith didn’t feel that way because he had
more money then he’d ever dreamed. He’d just never been hungry for
the almighty dollar. Material things were just things. The people
in his life had always mattered most: his father and brother, his
huge network of friends. Keith could survive without money, he’d
done it before, but he couldn’t survive without the people who’d
helped him through the tough times.

“Easy for you
to say,” she said, propping her sunglasses up on top of her head.
“It’s different when you live paycheck to paycheck.”

He shot her a
sidelong glance. “It doesn’t have to be that way, you know.”

“Maybe not for
you.” She looked out the window at the cows grazing near an old
farm house. “It hasn’t been easy for my family, Keith. We’ve always
tried real hard, but…” She shrugged. “My parents barely had enough
money to get by. If we wanted to go to college, we had to pay our
own way.”

Keith knew Tara
and her parents were close, and she’d spoken to her older sister,
who was married with two kids and living in Arizona, twice since
she moved in with him. Apparently her family needed reassurance
that she was getting by. She’d told them she was staying with Ava,
insisting they would disapprove if they knew the truth.

“Have you
almost got those student loans paid off?” They’d all graduated from
college seven years ago. Keith hadn’t thought about tuition in a
long time.

“Yeah.” She ran
her thumb over the clear polish on her short fingernails. “I should
have them paid off this year, and then I can start saving for a
little house.”

Keith just fell
a little deeper when he saw the hope bloom in her eyes. “It was
tough for my old man when we were growing up too,” he said, keeping
his eyes on the road. The road was unassuming with a lot of deep
hollows that could do serious damage to his suspension. “He drove
truck, didn’t make a lot of money. He did the best he could.”

“I didn’t know
that,” Tara said, slipping her sunglasses back in place and looking
at him.

He felt her
eyes on him, studying him, and he felt some of the tension to
dissipate. “It’s not easy, is it?”

“No, but you do
what you have to do, right?”

“Yeah.”

He turned down
the long, winding drive to the swimming hole. They’d lay out a
blanket and spread out the picnic they’d packed. Hopefully they’d
get to know each other even better. Keith realized he’d known Tara
for a long time, but he still wanted to discover so much. Kind of
like a kid waiting to unwrap their lone Christmas present, he
believed time with her, away from the pressures of the real world,
was a gift.

“It’s so pretty
out here,” she said quietly. “So peaceful.” She shifted in her
seat, looking around as the car eased up to its resting place. “It
almost feels like we’re the only two people on Earth.” She laughed
self-consciously. “That’s sounds silly, doesn’t it?”

“Not at all.”
He smiled and cut the engine. “I always feel the same way when I’m
out here.” Field grass surrounded them, the trees stood tall and
proud, and the swimming hole was deep and dark. The unkempt grounds
were the perfect contrast to the cloudless sky and bright sun.

“Does your
friend know you’re here, or are we trespassing?” She got an
apprehensive expression when she reached for the door handle,
prompting Keith to laugh and tweak her cute little upturned
nose.

“No worries. I
called his parents this morning and asked if they’d mind if we took
a drive out here. They said to enjoy. It’s not like they ever come
out here anymore. They’re getting on in years and…” He shrugged. “I
don’t know, I guess their kids are busy with their own lives.” He
hopped out of the car to open her door.

Tara got out of
the car and stepped into the tall grass, her arms stretched over
her head. She spun in a slow circle with her eyes closed and her
head tipped back, letting the sun warm her face as a smile teased
her lips.

Keith was
speechless. He’d never seen her or any other woman look so
uninhibited… and breathtaking. More than anything, he wanted to
kiss her.

“I really
needed this today,” she said quietly. “Thank you.” The gentle
breeze teased her hair, blowing wisps across her face. “It’s
perfect.”

“You’re
perfect.” He stepped closer knowing that if he took another step,
he’d cross the line she’d drawn.

Shaking her
head, she said, “Don’t. Please.”

Tara recognized that
look in Keith’s eye. She’d come to fear and seek it at the same
time. He wanted to kiss her… and she wanted to let him. Her
conversation with Ava flashed through her mind, and she knew she
couldn’t. One heartbreak a year was already one too many.

“You don’t make
it easy,” he whispered. “In fact, you’re making it damn near
impossible for me not to want you.”

Tara held her
breath when he stepped closer. He wasn’t touching her, but he was
close enough to rectify that.

“If you have
any ideas on how to make me stop wanting you, I’m listening.”
Another step meant touching was imminent. They were too close to
avoid contact. “I never asked for this, Tara. I never expected to
feel this way.”

She wanted to
ask how he felt, and she desperately wanted to believe every word.
She wanted, just for one day, to believe a man like Keith could
change because he’d found what he was looking for in her. But she’d
blindly believed every word Biagio said, and she was still paying
the price for that lapse in judgement.

Stepping back,
she walked to the edge of the swimming hole. It looked like every
other swimming hole she had ever cooled off in. Jumping in was
always scary when she was six and couldn’t see the bottom, but
jumping into an emotional chasm when she was in her thirties was
even harder.

She heard Keith
taking their belongings out of the trunk, but she didn’t offer to
help. Getting too close when she felt so vulnerable was a scary
prospect. Instead, she walked through the overgrown brush, barely
aware of it grazing her calves. She was lost in a childhood fantasy
of happily ever after. She wanted someone who would promise to love
her forever, a couple of kids, a nice little house, and security.
More than anything, she wanted security.

She walked for
a long time through the wildflowers. She even picked a daisy to go
through the silly ritual of he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not. Turned
out, he loved her.

Keith was sweet
and kind, but he still represented everything she didn’t want. He’d
always been a free spirit. He enjoyed chasing women, but he had one
foot out the door after the first few dates. She’d witnessed it
dozens of times in college. He’d dated several of her friends and
left them broken-hearted when he couldn’t return their feelings. If
Keith were a lottery ticket and she had a dollar to spend hoping to
get rich, she’d toss her money into a wishing well instead. Tara
finally headed back toward Keith, determined to control her
feelings.

“Did you enjoy
your walk?” Keith asked. He was stretched out on a sleeping bag on
a patch of bare ground. With his weight propped on one elbow and
his legs stretched out, he looked relaxed, but his dark glasses
shaded his eyes, so she couldn’t say for sure.

“I did,
thanks.” She looked back at the ground she’d covered. “I hope you
didn’t mind. I just needed a few minutes.”

“I understand.”
He smiled. “I used to do the same thing when I came out here. My
friends would be drinking and partying, and sometimes I just needed
to get away from it all.”

She’d never
witnessed Keith’s introspective side. He always seemed too busy to
slow down. Sitting on the edge of the blanket, she tucked her legs
under her. She’d opted for jean shorts, a tank top, and flip-flops,
which proved to be the perfect choice since it was already hot.

He opened the
cooler they’d brought. “Would you like a drink?”

They’d loaded
it up with soft drinks, beer, water, and wine. She wouldn’t mind a
glass of vino to settle her nerves, but she feared that might also
weaken her resolve. “Water would be great, thanks.”

He passed her a
small bottle of water and reached for a beer. After twisting off
the cap, he took a long swig and lay back on the blanket. “Nothing
better than a cold beer on a hot day.”

“Right.” She
sipped her water as she studied him. She could tell his eyes were
closed beneath his dark glasses, giving her the freedom to observe
him. He looked casual in a pair of board shorts, flip-flops, and a
white T-shirt. His baseball cap was on backward, giving him a
youthful edge that reminded her he still had a wild streak a Texas
mile wide.

He was still
the sexiest man she’d ever known. At just over six feet, he was
tall without being imposing. He was lean and toned, but that face
was what drew women in. Olive skin, a bright white smile, dark
eyes, and deep dimples. A lethal combination.

“Do I pass
inspection?”

There was that
grin again, the one that made her stomach do a forward roll. “I
wasn’t looking at you. I was just… thinking.”

He chuckled,
propped his hand behind his head, and stared at the sky. “Whatever
you say, sugar.” A beat of silent passed. “This time three weeks
from now, we’ll be standing in church while my brother and your
best friend say their vows. Crazy, huh?”

“Yeah, crazy.”
Apparently Keith wasn’t going to make a move, so Tara inched back
on the blanket and stretched her legs out, resting her weight on
her hands.

Tipping his
head, he looked at her. “You’re happy for them, right? You think
Brent’s good for Ava?”

Brent had come
a long way from the bitter, resentful man he’d been when he came
back into Ava’s life. “Yeah, I think he’s good for her. He makes
her happy. That’s all that matters to me.”

Nudging her leg
with his, he said, “And if he ever hurts her, he’ll have you to
deal with. Right?”

“You know
it.”

Keith laughed.
“You’ll have to get in line. I already told him if he messes this
up, I’ll personally kick his ass.”

“You don’t
think he will though, do you?” From everything Tara had seen, Brent
was completely devoted to Ava and the life they were building
together.

“Not a chance.
He’s in this for life.”

“That’s good. I
know Ava feels the same way.”

Keith sat up
and took another swig of his beer. “How ‘bout you? Are you a lifer
too?”

His cologne was
subtle, but it carried on the gentle breeze and made it difficult
for Tara to concentrate. “Um, sure. I want what they have.”

“Yeah, me
too.”

He’d said that
the night before, but she hadn’t taken him seriously. Actions spoke
louder than words, and Keith’s actions had never given her any
indication he was ready to change. “If you say so.”

“I do.” He
looked at her. “I know you don’t believe me, and that’s okay, but I
do intend to prove it to you.”

Tara felt a
flutter in her chest. She wasn’t sure if his words were a promise
or a warning, but the prospect thrilled her nonetheless. “I won’t
hold my breath.” She was too smart to set herself up for
disappointment. If he proved himself, great. If not, she wouldn’t
lose sleep over it.
At least, not much.

“You don’t have
any faith in me. Why?” He nudged her shoulder with his. “Am I
really such a bad guy?”

She smiled.
“You’re a great guy, but you’re a terrible boyfriend.”

“Hey, how do
you know that?”

She crossed her
legs. “Let’s see… there was Christine, Stacy, Annie—”

Chuckling, he
covered her mouth. “Okay, I get the idea. But I was just a kid back
then. You can’t hold that against me.”

Their eyes met,
and she waited for him to withdraw his hand. He took his time, but
eventually he did.

“According to
your brother and future sister-in-law, you haven’t changed a
bit.”

“Traitors, both
of them.”

“Can you deny
it?”

He sighed. “No,
they’re right.”

Tara wanted to
be grateful for his honesty, but the victory felt hollow. His words
weren’t the ones she’d been hoping to hear.

He rested his
hand on her bare thigh. “That doesn’t mean I can’t change. That
doesn’t mean I don’t want to change. It feels like we have
something here, something special. I’d really like to explore
that.”