Breed of Envy (The Breed Chronicles, #02) (38 page)

He didn’t say anything, just stared at me. After another few seconds, he took my silence as an invitation and stormed in like an army troop, brushing me aside.

Leaving the door open, I twisted around and crossed my arms over my chest. “What do you need?”

He started to pace. “You weren’t wrong.”

“Well, that clears everything up. Thanks for dropping by.”

“You do that well. The passive-aggressive thing.”

“I’m not passive-aggressive. I’m just aggressive.”

Scowling, he closed my door and then resumed his pacing. “The point is, maybe you were right.”

I rolled my eyes, but he was still too busy pacing to notice. “If this is an apology, it’s overwhelming.” My tone was dry.

He stopped pacing to glare at me. “Fine.” He let out a loud breath and shoved his hands in his pockets. He didn’t say anything for a minute, and I was getting ready to kick him out, but then he said, “I’m sorry. I acted like the world’s largest idiot. Again.”

“That’s better.”

His lips twitched.

“I still think I made the right call,” I said, “even if you don’t. Even if no one else does. How can we say or act like we’re better than demons if we don’t really
act
like we are? What makes us any better if we go kill a demon that isn’t hurting anyone?” And how, I wondered, had I turned into a demon advocate?

“But they do hurt people. And we didn’t kill them, Jade. We brought them in to be studied, to, hopefully, prevent people from being hurt.”

“Yeah, I know they do, and I know what we did. But you were all willing to just kill the baby or leave it there to die. Seriously, I don’t have any qualms killing a demon if it’s a serious threat to someone, if there’s no other way to stop it. But I have a problem killing a demon just because it
might
hurt someone. People were being killed long before demons came around. Humans have been doing it a lot longer than demons.”

“Look, I didn’t come here to argue. I thought about it some, and maybe you did make the right call. I’ll be honest, though, I still don’t know if showing compassion will help. Demons aren’t people. They don’t think like that.” He scratched his head. “At least I don’t think they do.”

“Showing them compassion isn’t just for them, Linc. It’s for me—for us. But I’m betting they have it or can at least feel it.”

“Why?”

It was a question, but there was no malice behind it, no argument. Just curiosity. “Because if they didn’t, then I probably would’ve been hurt today, too, and a lot worse than you guys. You saw the demon. It had me right where it wanted me, and everyone who went and saw what happened, they all said the same thing. It could’ve attacked me. Hell, it
should’ve
attacked me.” I shrugged now. “Either way, I’m not going to kill a baby demon—especially one that isn’t showing any aggression—because it might, or maybe even will, turn into a bigger one sometime down the road. And if that’s what this place wants, then maybe I shouldn’t be here.” Not that it was the only reason I had to question what I was doing here and if I was staying.

“No. You should be here. And maybe there should be more like you here.”

It shouldn’t have been that easy, but his words deflated my rage like a popped balloon. Well, at least the rage that had been directed at him. I didn’t have the energy to be ragey against everyone. “It’s fine. I was being stubborn and hypocritical, especially when I said you were allowed a different opinion. Besides,” I added quietly, “you might have actually been right about me being a problem.”

He frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“My stupid DNA,” I said, and then I told him about the conversation with Greene and Dr. Asshat.

“Okay, well, now I’m sure I was wrong.”

I threw my hands in the air. “How does that make you sure? What kind of logic is that? I could get people hurt, especially if I’m sympathetic toward demons.”

“Jade, you’re not sympathetic because of your DNA. You’re sympathetic because you’re you. It’s who you are—not what you are. I don’t care what they say. Your DNA won’t change that. You had no problems knocking out the other demons.”

“Exactly. I didn’t mind knocking them out. Killing them would’ve been something different entirely.”

He rolled his eyes. “If they had been a bigger threat and were actually trying to kill us and not just knock us senseless, you would have done what you had to to keep us safe. You killed one of those vampires, remember?”

I sighed. How had we ended up on different sides of this now? Hours before, I’d been the one arguing his point, and now I was arguing his? Logic was obviously not a strong suit of mine.

“Look,” he continued, “even if the DNA thing does change your mind about some demons, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. You did what you had to. Period. You didn’t balk. If they’d been on a rampage, I still don’t think—sharing DNA or not—that you would’ve just sat by and done nothing.”

“It’s still not a good thing,” I muttered.

“The Sercoon’s didn’t attack you, which made it easier for you to get close to them. That’s a good thing, at least in my opinion.”

“And the Sawthorn?”

“Well, that wasn’t such a good thing for you.” He flashed a quick grin. “But we handled it, didn’t we? Demons are demons. The really bad ones go after people. Maybe whatever you’ve got going on in there,” he said, making circles with his finger and pointing at me, “makes them come after you more, but it’s nothing we can’t handle if, like Greene said, we’re prepared. And we will be.” He shrugged now. “The researchers will do their thing and we’ll figure out what’s what. And in case it wasn’t clear, you’re not leaving.”

“That’s up to them,” I said. “I won’t, and really have no plans to, but if Dr. Asshat keeps up his…asshattery, then I might stop volunteering to be so darn nice. Or maybe I
will
make a few requests of my own. Like, a rule that I get to punch Dr. Asshat in his big, stupid nose at least once a week.” The thought made me smile, even though I knew Greene wouldn’t make that rule. And I didn’t really want it to be one, but it was a nice thought.

Linc grinned. “Remind me to stay on your good side.”

“Will do, Flyboy. Will do.” Now if only I could convince everyone else to stay on it.

C
HAPTER 20

Toward the end of the month, Greene had the P2s and P3s herded in the auditorium. There were only a few days left of class, so I thought it was too early for his end-of-Phase spiel, if he had one. I assumed he did, or would, even though I’d missed last Phase’s by being in a stupid coma. As much as I really hated his speeches, because he always found a way to call on me, I liked them, too, because he always had something interesting to say (when it wasn’t about me).

Linc and I were seated together in one of the middle rows. Tasha and Chris were somewhere behind us. I didn’t look to see where, though I recognized Tasha’s giggle because it was impossible to miss. It was all girly and rich. Mine sounded dumb, so I kind of had giggle-envy, though I’d never tell her—or anyone. Ever.

The director stepped up to the podium a few minutes later, but his speech was short and sweet. He’d basically just wanted to tell everyone who’d participated in the C&C how well they did and blah blah. Peter had been there, too, and said a few words, just repeating what Greene had said moments before.

The whole thing lasted maybe twenty minutes before we were all free to leave. Linc and I had started down the bleachers with Tasha and Chris on our heels. Peter waited at the bottom and made a motion at me to follow him.

“We’ll meet you outside,” Tasha said, pulling Linc behind her. He shot me a one-shouldered what-can-you-do shrug.

Most of the Prospects were gone, and those who were still around were dawdling at the exits, chatting.

“What’s up?” I asked Peter as I reached him, shoving my hands into my pockets.

“We haven’t really had a chance to talk since the C&C. I just wanted to check in.”

I couldn’t say why, but the fact that he was checking on me kinda worried me. The C&C had gone fine. Out of everyone who’d gone, I was, to my thinking, the last person who needed checked up on. Heck, I was the only person who hadn’t been hurt at all. The most I’d suffered through was wet, soaking socks and shoes, and maybe a scratch or two from branches. Nothing check-on worthy.

Peter was nice. I liked him. But this wasn’t like him.

“I’m good,” I said slowly, almost making it a question because I was confused.

He laughed and took a seat on the bleachers. “You’re giving me weird looks.”

“You’re asking me weird questions,” I countered, raising my eyebrows as I sat beside him.

“Weird questions? How is checking up on you weird?”

“Because it is. Because nothing happened to me, so I’m not sure why you’re checking up on me.” I let out a huff of a breath and narrowed my eyes. “And because you’re acting Greene-like.”

Peter managed to look wounded and surprised at the same time. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that was an insult.”

I didn’t say anything, just waited.

“Okay, fine. You’re right. I’m just wondering how you’re handling things.”

“Things?”

“Yes, things. The director told me about your…talk with Doc and Dr. Hamilton. Still not considering leaving, are you?”

That didn’t really surprise me. “I wasn’t ever really considering it. Dr. As—Hamilton,” I corrected, thinking he might not approve of Dr. Asshat’s nickname, “is the one who said I would have to.”

“He can be…difficult,” he said carefully.

“That’s a nice way of putting it.” I frowned. “Is that why Greene is having you check up on me? Because they’re worried I’m leaving and taking my DNA with me?”

“Jade.” Peter managed to look and sound both hurt and exasperated as he shook his head. “That’s not it.”

I narrowed my eyes.

“Okay, yes. Director Greene did ask me to talk with you about that. But,” he added when I shot him a told-you-so look, “that’s not the only reason I’m here. I came to talk to you about the rumors. And you’re a smart girl, Jade, so don’t insult us both by acting like you don’t know what I’m talking about, especially when the rumors concern you. You should have come to me about it.”

“So you could do what? I’m not being snarky or rude, but what could you have done? Unless you plan on yelling at anyone who’s been saying something or banning certain words from being used in the CGE, there’s really not much to be done.”

He didn’t say anything for a minute, but then he sighed. “Maybe not. But you should have told me about it.”

“How did you find out, anyway? Greene?”

“No one had to tell me. You don’t think I see the looks people are giving you now? You don’t think I hear what they’re saying? You’re not the only one with good hearing, you know. I’m not around the North Tower often, so if I know this is going on in my limited time here, then you know everyone else does, too.”

“Well, there’ve been rumors about me since the day I joined.” I tried to shrug it off. “I’m used to it, so I’m just trying to ignore it.” What I said had been the truth, but I didn’t add that it was harder to ignore than before. Before, it hadn’t been rumors so much as people speculating about me because I was new and they didn’t have anything concrete to go on.

Now…now they had something. Kind of liking a demon was a bad, bad thing. And it liking you in return was even worse.

He tilted his head to the side and gave me a severe look. “We both know this is different, Jade. They’re not talking about you because you’re the new kid anymore. You know what they’re saying as well as I do. One of your friends would have told you, even if you hadn’t heard it yourself.”

Yeah, I did know what they were saying. They were calling me Demon Whisperer now, like Adam had on the trip. “Like I said, they’re just words.”

“I still would have preferred hearing about it from you and not everyone else. I don’t like one of the top Prospects getting hassled.”

I gave a short laugh. “Seriously, I didn’t know helping the baby demon would’ve been so…problematic.”

Peter gave me a curious look. “Would you have left it if you had known?”

I didn’t answer immediately. Not because I didn’t know the answer, I just wasn’t sure I should be honest about it. “Yeah,” I finally said. Just because I couldn’t trust others to be honest with me, it didn’t mean they couldn’t trust me to be honest with them. “I still would’ve helped it.”

He nodded, like he understood my point. I just figured he nodded because he’d expected that answer. “You’ve been through a lot since you’ve been here. You’ve been attacked by demons, bitten by a vampire—which I know couldn’t have been fun, even though you survived it, or maybe especially since you’re the first person who has. And you’re different.”

I muttered a curse. I was beginning to hate that word as much as ‘interesting’. Maybe I could make a list of hated-words and demand no one use them when talking to or about me.

Peter laughed. “Yeah, you hate that. But you’re not the only one who’s part demon around here. I signed up for the treatments, and I know you didn’t—your parents did. So while me and the others were given a choice, you were born that way without one. My point is, I know it can’t be easy for you..”