Breed of Havoc (The Breed Chronicles #3) (16 page)

“I’ll explain later, I promise. I just need to talk to Mr. Connor real fast.”

He shook his head, then followed Chris and Tasha out (who were giving me the same weird look as Linc). Waiting for the rest of the class to leave tested my patience and proved I had little of it. I caught myself tapping my foot on the ground twice.
Come on, people! Ask your questions later! Move it, move it!
If I’d had telekinesis, I would’ve been shoving people out the door left and right.

Finally, when the last person left, I ran over to Mr. Connor. “Did you know my mom?” I asked, rushing the words together.

Mr. Connor turned around and looked down at me. “Was that English?”

“Sorry. Did you know my mom? Fiona Jo—”

“Yes.”

My jaw dropped. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you ever ask? You’ve got a mouth and are capable of using it, aren’t you?”

“Greene—Director Greene—mentioned there were people still around who knew my mom, but I didn’t think it’d be the teachers. And…I don’t know.” I tossed my hands up. “I figured someone would mention it to me. Tons of people work here. I can’t just go around asking everyone about her.” But I could have asked Greene, I realized. He would’ve known. Hadn’t he even mentioned it before?

“Fair point. But yes, I knew your mom. Did Director Greene tell you?”

“No. She mentioned a Kenneth Connor in one of her journals.”

“Did she now?”

I nodded. “Yeah. That he—you—were her mentor when she was a P4.”

Mr. Connor smiled. “Yeah, I remember that. Your mom was always quick with questions. Never stopped asking them.”

“Was she popular?” I hadn’t meant to ask that, but it came out before I could stop it.

“She was well liked, yes.”

“Oh. That’s good,” I said, fighting a frown. That didn’t surprise me, really. Or it shouldn’t have. She talked about her best friends the most, but she never talked about anyone disliking her. Well, not a lot. Everyone had enemies. They just weren’t all as crazy as mine seemed to be.

Mr. Connor laid a hand on my shoulder. “Why does that make you sad?”

I didn’t have an answer, so I only shrugged.

“Jade,” he said, his tone softer than I’d ever heard it before.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” I said with a laugh. “I guess I’d just hoped we’d have similar experiences here, and so far, we really haven’t. It just didn’t really hit me until now.”

From her first journal entry, it’d been clear we were different. She was more outgoing than me, more popular, and definitely well-liked. Where I’d loved the CGE from day one, she hadn’t. She’d grown to like it more, but she always talked about it like it was just another place. To her, it’d just been a place to stay before she could move out and be on her own. It’d been just a roof over her head.

“She was popular. You think you should have been, too?”

“In a way, I guess. In another way, it just…it doesn’t seem fair. To her, the CGE was never home. It was just where she went to school and happened to live.”

“But?”

“But it’s not that for me. For me…it’s home,” I said simply. “It’s the first place I’ve thought of as home in almost four years.”

“So you’re thinking that, because you hold it in a higher esteem, you should be the one having the easier time?”

“It sounds petty, especially since I’m talking about my mom, but yeah.”

Mr. Connor let out a loud sigh. “The problems you’re having here have very little to do with you, Jade. They’re not a failure on your part, if that’s what you’re thinking. Kids can be mean.” He smiled when I laughed. “Well, it’s true. They can be downright nasty. Considering why most of you are here, it can be even worse. Don’t see it as anything you’ve done wrong. The problem’s on their end, Jade.”

I made a face. “Because they’re jealous?”

He laughed, either at my tone or my I-hate-that-line look. “No, not quite, though I imagine that does play a part. This is where I tell you you’re a good student. Your mother might have been popular, and she ended up being a great agent, but she wasn’t as…dedicated as you are. As driven. You’re different people, Jade. That’s all. Do you really want to be the same?”

“No. I don’t know.” Did I want to be the same as her? I didn’t know my mom as a teen and all I had now were her journals. Until I joined, I didn’t even know as much about her as I thought I had. Before she died, she’d never once mentioned the CGE, made only vague hints about monsters. She kept her life from me. A huge, important piece of it. She spent ten years here, isn’t that what Greene said? Ten years of her life and she spent the next ten pretending they’d never existed. Like my dad’s time here never existed. “What else didn’t she tell me?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Sorry. Was just thinking out loud.”

“About?”

“What else my mom didn’t tell me. What else she decided her kids didn’t need to know,” I added, suddenly feeling very bitter again. I’d asked Greene the same thing and he’d tried answering it, but it still bugged me when I thought about it.

“What we do here is important, and sometimes, it means lying to the people you love or keeping secrets from them. That’s one of the downsides of being a hunter. If you’re in a relationship with someone outside the CGE, they can’t know what you do. Fiona was the first hunter I know who had kids. Hell, she might’ve been the only one, I don’t know. To be honest, I wasn’t sure it was even possible. There weren’t any medical preventions—well, you know what I mean.”

I frowned now. “What do you mean?”

Mr. Connor’s cheeks reddened. He cleared his throat. “Hunters weren’t exactly told they couldn’t have kids, but we were advised against it, because there were risks.” He gave me a stern look. “To be honest with you, I wouldn’t have told you either. Not about the CGE, and I definitely wouldn’t have told you about demons.”

“Why not?”

“Why would I? Would knowing about demons and demon hunters have made your life easier or harder?”

“Easier,” I said immediately.

“You’re thinking with your heart, not your head. You’re thinking like a child, not a hunter. You’re a smart girl. You know the answer you gave isn’t the right, or truthful, one.”

“Fine. But—”

“But what? If you had kids, would you tell them about demons? If you did, when would you? When they were five? Six? Seven? When do you break that news to your kids?”

“I don’t know. Wouldn’t they deserve the truth, before…before something bad happened?”

“What happened to you was awful—there’s no denying that.” He grasped my shoulder. “But do you honestly believe knowing about demons beforehand would have helped you any? Do you think you could’ve stopped one? Do you really think you would have believed her, even if she had told you the truth?” When I didn’t answer, he shook his head. “Maybe,” he said, his tone a little harsher now, “instead of thinking about what your mom didn’t tell you, you could think about
why
she didn’t tell you. There’s a reason, Jade, and I think I’ve given you plenty of them. Just because your mother chose to keep something from you, it doesn’t mean she did it to hurt you. I think you know that, too.”

Mr. Connor gave me a small salute, then turned away.

Still frowning, I left and went back to my room. I shut the door behind me and leaned against it. How was I supposed to feel?
What
was I supposed to feel? Because at the moment, I wasn’t sure. Better in one way, worse in another, and confused all around.

I could see Mr. Connor’s point about why my mom hadn’t told us anything about this place. I didn’t like it, and I wasn’t sure I ever would, but I could see it. She couldn’t have known that she and my brother would have been killed by a demon. Not when, according to Greene, she’d been so…vigilant about keeping us away from them.

I still thought knowing about demons before their attack would have been better, though. If nothing else, it would have saved me almost two years of uncertainty. It wouldn’t have stopped the cops or the shrink from disbelieving me, but at least I would have
known
without any doubt, without any question, what I’d seen. I wouldn’t have had to wonder all that time. I wouldn’t have had to question what I’d seen with my own eyes.

I wouldn’t have doubted myself.

And that fact alone kept the bitter taste in the back of my mouth and a knot in my stomach.

C
HAPTER 08

Outside of Weapons class the next morning, Linc grabbed my arm. “We’ll catch up with you guys in a minute,” he told Tasha and Chris. He waited until they nodded and went inside, then turned to face me. “What’s going on with you, Jade?”

I frowned. “Nothing. Just distracted.”

He rolled his eyes at me. “I can see that for myself. You’ve been in a zone since you talked to Mr. Connor yesterday.” He leaned close, touched my arm, and whispered, “You okay? Did something happen?”

After my talk with Mr. Connor, I hadn’t really been in the socializing mood, so I’d locked myself in my room for the night. I’d planned on telling Linc about the talk with Mr. Connor, but by the time my mood had improved, it’d been late. And this morning, we hadn’t had time to get into it before we were surrounded by dozens of Prospects.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Want to skip class and talk—” My eyes went wide at that and he laughed. “Okay, no skipping class. How’d I end up with a badass girlfriend who balks at doing anything bad?” he added quietly. He shook his head. “Never mind. Not an actual question.”

I fought a smile.

“You know I trust you with pointy objects, but if you’re distracted, maybe you should sit this one out. I’m partial to my body parts just how they are, without holes, slices, knots, or bruises.”

Meaning if I wasn’t all there, I could get him hurt. It’s what our teachers had been telling us since Phase One. We didn’t have the luxury of having bad days. Whether we wanted to or not, we had to compartmentalize things or others could suffer.

I sighed. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m good to go.”

“It’s time to kick some ass, and since it’s my ass that’s going to be getting kicked, you usually like this part.”

“I do.” I blew out a breath and pushed the conversation with Mr. Connor from my mind. “I’m in.”

He eyed me for a second longer, gauging my response. After another few seconds, he nodded. “Good. Let’s go.”

We joined the others inside. Tasha and Chris cast a quick glance at Linc who nodded in return. I started to question the look, but Mr. Elliot walked to the center of the class.

“Alright, folks,” Mr. Elliot said. “We’re mixing it up today. You’re going to be working in pairs, like you usually do, but you’ll be using what you’ve learned in Combat and Weapons both. One person will defend themselves against a ‘demon’ that’s stolen their weapon.”

Daniel snickered. “Like they’ll know how to use them.”

Mr. Elliot turned his head to the side and he pierced Daniel with a hard glare. “Don’t laugh, Mr. Metcalf. It sounds funny but it’s not. Demons have been known to take a hunter’s weapon and use it against them.”

“No one’s ever told us that before,” Daniel stammered.

“Don’t assume what you know this second is
all
there is to know. I guarantee you right now that it isn’t. Next year, you’ll probably learn something new, too. That’s the nature of hunting. Things change, we learn, we adapt. The first time you think you know everything is the day you jeopardize yourself and someone else. There’s always room to grow and learn. Keep that in mind.” For a minute, he said nothing and only stared ahead. “Today is about learning how to adapt.”

That wasn’t something I’d heard before and couldn’t decide if it surprised me or not. Considering my own dealings with demons, maybe it shouldn’t have.

All around me, Prospects frowned and murmured to those nearest to them.

Natalie raised her hand. “Is that likely to happen?”

“Likely? No. Possible? Yes. We’re not just here to train for the possible. Good hunters train for the unlikely or even what most people consider impossible.” He shook his head. “Look, you’re all smart enough to know demons aren’t stupid. They learn and adapt as well as we do, maybe even more so because they’re hunted by us. This is why we have to be smarter. This is why we train, even for the unlikeliest scenarios—like having your weapons taken by one. It’s not likely, but it
has
happened, and because of that, it means it
could
happen again. We need to be prepared for it. Now split up, and I’ll tell you how we’re going to do that.”

Mr. Elliot ran us through what he wanted us to do. One person would use one of the Combat routines we’d learned—to defend against someone with a weapon—and the other person, the ‘demon’, would try to attack their opponent with said weapon.

Linc, who was playing demon, held a replica knife in one hand and circled around me. He growled. I paused, biting back a laugh, and he hit me with the knife. “Jerk.”

“I’m supposed to attack you.”

“You’re not supposed to growl.”

“What? Demons growl.” Grinning, he winked at me. “You need to be prepared for that.”

“
Demons
growl. You’re not a demon, Flyboy.” We started circling again. I shrugged a minute later and said, “Even if you look like one sometimes.” This time, he froze, so I hit the knife out of his hand and smiled. “Hunters can be distracting, too.”