Would it be wrong to marry him?
Roz wondered what he would say if he knew what had happened to her on the night of their ball. Philip had said she wouldn't be believed in court. Harold Rushden might think she'd invited trouble by going for a walk alone at night.
Her heart told her to reject his offer but her head warned that she might not get another chance to escape from her mother's scolding.
Roz saw Carrie as she approached the meadow the next morning. The grass was high but the girl was sitting on the bank above the stream. Her child lay on a shawl on the grass beside her and the girl was chewing the end of a grass stalk and staring into the distance. She didn't appear to notice Roz until she spoke to her.
âI wasn't sure you would come. May I see the baby?'
Carrie turned her dreamy eyes on her and smiled. âHello. I brought Milly to see you, miss. Ma is glad to get us out of the way for a bit. I'm more of a hindrance than a help to her.'
âI'm sure that's not true.' Roz said sat down on the dry grass. The child had lovely fair hair just covering her head and the bluest eyes she had ever seen.
âShe has your hair and eyes,' Roz said, slightly disappointed. She'd hoped for a sign, something that would confirm the identity of the baby's father. âYou must be proud of her, Carrie.'
âShe knows what you say to her. She sucks my finger and cries when she wants feeding. Ma showed me how to change her cloths. I look after her myself.'
Carrie's pride was obvious. Roz touched the tiny fists and smiled. âI'm glad it turned out so well.'
Carrie picked up the child and put her into Roz's arms. Milly burped and then seemed to smile. Roz stroked her cheek with her finger.
âShe really is a darling, Carrie.'
âShe likes you,' Carrie said. âShe knows you're her aunt. I had an aunt once but Ma said she died â that means they put her in a box in the ground like Dick. Maybe she'll come back one day. Dick is coming back. It might be today. I come to meet him most mornings.'
âShe isn't my niece, she's my . . .' Roz frowned. âThe squire is dead, Carrie. Didn't they put Milly's father in a box in the ground?'
Carrie's laughter was soft and low. â'Course not. Squire isn't in the ground. He comes riding this way sometimes, but he hasn't been by for a few days. I shall show him Milly when he comes. He'll give me a shilling for her.'
Roz felt cold all over. Carrie had a pleased smile on her lips but it wasn't one of guile or maliciousness. Roz didn't think she was lying or making up tales.
âDo you mean Squire Philip, Carrie?'
The girl turned her bland gaze on her and nodded. âAye, your brother, miss. You be Squire's sister â and he be Milly's pa.'
âDid my brother hurt you, Carrie? Did he force you?'
Carrie stared at her for a moment, then: âHe said to tell me ma it was force. Said it was best to say Squire and not his name. He promised he would look after me if I did what he said.'
Roz felt the sickness rise in her throat. She got hurriedly to her feet and walked away before she said something she might regret. The girl hadn't known what she was doing or realized the consequences â but Philip had known.
Roz stared at her reflection in the mirror, feeling shame and disgust. How could her brother have seduced a girl like Carrie and then blamed the consequences on his father? He'd shown no signs of guilt or remorse over his father's death.
It should have been Philip lying in the family crypt. Roz knew that if she'd gone to her father and told him what Paul Richmond had done he would have thrashed him. Philip had made her keep quiet because he wanted to marry Paul's sister to save his own skin.
What would Julia think if she knew the truth? He deserved that Roz should tell her before the wedding â but would Julia thank her for revealing what kind of a man Philip really was?
Roz's anger had carried her home but now she just felt sick and ashamed. The plans for the wedding were moving ahead and if Julia jilted Philip now he would probably lose the estate. His creditors had given him time because he was marrying an heiress.
He ought to be punished but he wasn't the only one who would suffer. Roz's mother would be homeless and Julia would be shamed in her turn. She didn't have the right to pull down this house of cards, Roz decided.
One day she might find a way to punish Philip, but to vent her anger on others would be spiteful â and she only had Carrie's word for it that Philip was the father of her child. She'd lied at the start and caused a double tragedy. Had she told the truth her brother might have thrashed Philip and made him pay something for her child. He had been angrier than he might have been because Squire Thornton was known for taking down innocent girls. Carrie's child might not be of the old squire's getting, but that didn't mean he was washed clean of all sin. If Roz's father hadn't raped Carrie, he'd done it to others. His reputation had sealed his fate. Dick Blake had seen red and acted in a blind rage â but he might not have been so furious if he'd realized Philip was to blame. Especially if he'd known that Carrie was willing.
There was a bitter taste in Roz's mouth. Philip had caused all this wretchedness with his selfish behaviour. He hadn't wanted to own up to what he'd done and so he'd persuaded Carrie to lie.
Because of Philip, her father was dead and everything that followed had stemmed from the double tragedy. If Roz's father had still been alive his bank would not have decided to call in his debts â and that meant Paul Richmond might never have been invited to the ball.
How could she go to Philip's wedding? Roz felt she would be sick if she looked at him â but would her mother allow her to stay at home alone?
âNot go to your brother's wedding?' Lady Thornton stared at her in disbelief. âThink what people might say â and the offence it would cause to Julia.'
âYou could tell Julia I wasn't well.'
âYou would have me lie to her?' Roz felt the severity of her mother's gaze. âI don't understand you. Why do you wish to miss such a happy occasion? You may well meet Mr Harcourt at the wedding, Roz. You wanted to visit Bath â if you married Mr Harcourt you would be able to go where you please.'
âI doubt he will ask me.' Roz raised her head to meet her mother's gaze. âMr Rushden has made me an offer. I've promised to give him my answer when we return.'
âMr Rushden?' Her mother's expression of displeasure faded instantly. âNow that would be suitable, Roz. I hope you intend to say yes?'
âI think I may â but I need time to think. If you would let me stay here, I could be alone and consider my answer.'
âIf you are in two minds you should accompany me to Julia's aunt's house. Lady Mary has many friends. You might meet someone more suitable, Roz.'
Roz sighed inwardly. She should have known that her mother would insist. If she knew the reason her daughter wanted to stay home she would be horrified â and yet she might still decide that they had no choice but to carry on as if nothing had happened.
Five
âRoz . . .' Philip caught her arm as she tried to pass him in the hall at Julia's aunt's house. âYou've been giving me the cold shoulder since you arrived this morning â you're not still angry over what I said, are you? I was thinking of you as much as myself. The scandal would've ruined you.'
Roz flashed him a scathing look. âYou don't think that's already the case?'
âMama told me Rushden has spoken to you. You should take him. He's always been mad for you.'
âPerhaps he won't be so interested when I tell him the truth.'
âDon't be a fool, Roz. He doesn't have to know â if you're clever.'
Roz felt a rush of vomit to her throat.
âI'm not as proficient a liar as you.'
âWhat do you mean?'
âDo you really want to know?' She faced him then, blazing with anger. âWe'd better go into the study. You might not want anyone else to hear this.'
Philip looked at her uncertainly, then turned and walked into the study. Roz followed and shut the door behind her.
âI've seen your daughter, Philip. She looks very much like her mother at the moment but babies change as they grow. Once her hair gets darker she will look more like you.'
âWhat the hell are you accusing me of? Why should that girl's child resemble me rather than father?'
âShe told me, Philip. I gave her some clothes and a string of beads. She brought the baby for me to see â and then she told me. You said she should tell her mother the squire had raped her but it wasn't like that, was it? You lay with her and you gave her presents â but when she told you she was carrying a child you didn't want to be bothered so you told her to lie. Dick Blake didn't murder our father, you did.'
Philip looked green, but then he recovered and glared at her. He grabbed her by the wrist.
âBreathe one word of this to Julia or Mother and I'll kill you.'
âYou told me before. If I don't say anything it is for Mama's and Julia's sake.' Roz refused to flinch even though his fingers were digging into her flesh. âYou're rotten to the core, Philip.'
âYou made all this up to get back at me because I wouldn't let you sue Paul Richmond.' Philip's top lip curved back in a sneer. âWho would believe her now? Or you, either? You went with Paul Richmond and then tried to say he'd raped you. I am certain he would back me up.'
Roz's eyes met his defiantly. âYou can threaten me all you like, Philip â but take care how you murder me. You might not be able to blame my death on someone else. Mama might lose her home if the truth came out now so I shan't tell â but you'll never be easy in your mind, because one of these days I'll find a way to make you pay for what you've done.'
âThe bitch asked for it,' Philip said. âShe was always following me around, smiling the way she does. She knew what I was after and she wanted it.'
âCarrie probably wanted a baby. People say she is stupid but she knows enough to understand how babies are made.'
âDamn the scheming bitch to hell,' Philip muttered and released Roz's wrist, flinging away from her. âFather wouldn't have remembered whether he'd had her or not. There was hardly a farmer's daughter in the district that he hadn't taken down. No one ever bothered to come after him before so why did that damned fool Blake have to kill him? Had he demanded compensation Father would have paid him.' For a moment regret flickered in Philip's eyes. âYou can't blame me for Father's death.'
âYou are responsible for his death and Dick Blake's. I ought to shame you before the world but I'm not going to â yet.'
âBe careful, Roz. I could break your neck with my bare hands.'
âYes, you could, but you'll have to be careful, Philip. You don't want to hang. I shan't go walking alone while you're around.'
âYou think you're so clever.' His eyes narrowed. âWhat do you want?'
âYou disgust me, Philip, but Julia doesn't deserve to have her life ruined and Mama would never recover from the scandal. You're safe enough for the time being, but one of these days I'll pay you back for Carrie â and me.'
âMother would never believe you.' Philip was grinning now. âCarrie is soft in the head and she lied â if you were out of the way there would be no one to touch me. You'd best watch your back, Roz. I don't like being threatened.'
âAt least we know where we stand,' Roz said. âYou've covered your tracks for now, Philip, but you'll get caught out. Some people would believe Carrie. Mud sticks. You might save the estate but you wouldn't enjoy being cut by your neighbours. You cheated and lied to save yourself. If that became known you would be finished.'
âI ought to shut your mouth for good.' He took a threatening step towards her.
âI wrote a letter, Philip. It is somewhere safe. If I die violently it will be sent to the right people.'
His hands balled at his sides. He wasn't sure whether to believe her or not but he was uncertain, frustrated.
âAccidents can be arranged,' he muttered. âYou'd best marry Rushden. If you're still here when I get back from my honeymoon I'll make you wish you'd never been born.'
âI've wished that a thousand times.' Roz lifted her head. âTreat Julia decently or you may be the one wishing you'd never seen the light of day.'
Philip swore, strode to the door and went out, slamming it behind him. Roz stood where she was. She was shaking now and a feeling of nausea washed over her. She had made an enemy of her brother but she hadn't been able to control her feelings. He deserved to be punished, yet she couldn't tell anyone. It would bring the whole family tumbling down. She would have no home and no chance of a decent marriage; her mother would be devastated and so would Julia.
She was caught in a briar patch and whichever way she turned she couldn't break free. Worse, there was no one to rescue her this time. Roz had called her brother a coward but she wasn't much better. Yet what could be gained from ruining all their lives?
âYou look lovely, Julia,' Roz said and kissed her cheek. Julia was wearing a gown of ivory silk. Plain but elegant, it suited her well as frills and lace would not. She actually looked pretty with her hair dressed softly and a satin bonnet with a tulle bow and veil. They were in Julia's bedchamber and almost ready to go down. âPhilip is very lucky. I'm not sure that he deserves you.'
Julia looked at her with her doe eyes. âI know he isn't in love with me, Roz. I didn't expect to be married and I'm grateful that Philip offered. He needs my money and I want a home and children. If I have those I don't mind about the rest.'