Brides of Alaska (26 page)

Handing his mother the cookies, Gerald scurried off to the washroom with Phillip close behind. Both boys were giggling and chattering all the way, leaving Beth with a much lighter heart.

“I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” August said as he paused before following the boys. “I just don't like to think of you lonely. Seems like such a waste, especially when so many enjoy your company.”

Beth wondered if it was her imagination or August's feelings that caused her to read more into his statement.

When August and the boys returned from washing up, Beth allowed August to seat her while the boys scampered into their assigned places.

“Who wants to say grace?” Beth questioned.

“I will!” Gerald said enthusiastically.

“All right, Gerald,” Beth nodded in agreement. “You go right ahead.”

“God, this is Gerald again,” the boy began. “I sure do like living in Alaska 'cause You sent us a lot of great people and we're having fun here. God, Mommy told me to pray about a daddy for Phillip and me, so I'm praying about it. I like August, God, and I really want him to be my daddy. So if it's okay with You, me and Phillip will take him. Amen.”

“What about the food, son?” August questioned softly, noticing that Beth's head was still bowed.

“Oh yeah,” Gerald said and quickly bowed his head again. “Thanks for the food, God. I really like fish. Amen.”

August was grinning when Beth raised her gaze to meet his. She grew more beautiful with each passing day, and August heartily agreed with Gerald's prayers that they become a family.

Beth handed Phillip's plate to August. “If you would serve the salmon,” she motioned, “I would appreciate it.”

August nodded and filled the plates as they were passed to him. He liked acting as the head of the family, and he enjoyed the warmth and comfort of the company he kept.

Supper passed much too quickly. “I suppose I should be going,” August said, getting up. Beth's roadhouse was set up so that the ten boarding rooms all faced north or west and had individual entrances facing the outside.

“Can't he read us a story?” Gerald asked with pleading eyes.

“Please?” Phillip questioned.

“That's up to August,” Beth said as she began to gather the dishes. “It's all right with me, August, if you want to read to them.”

“I'd be happy to,” August said, grateful for the excuse to remain close at hand. He followed the boys down the hall to their bedroom, giving Beth a quick smile over his shoulder.

Beth felt her pulse quicken. What would it be like to have August join her for the evening every night after putting their children to bed? It had been so long since she'd known the warmth and comfort of a man's company. Was it wrong for her to think of such things?

“Well, that didn't take long,” August said as he came into the kitchen. “They're nearly asleep.”

“Thank you for everything,” Beth said, and tried to think of how she could express her gratitude for August's indulgence of their fatherly references. “I appreciate your patience with them. I've asked them not to call you Daddy,” she paused, embarrassed as she remembered Gerald's prayer. “But they love you so much.”

“I'm sure that they loved their father a great deal. They're just showing me what they can't show him.”

“It's more than that. JB was a soldier first. He was so bent on serving his country and being a hero,” Beth said as she finished drying the dishes. She didn't see August bite his lip at her words.

“Don't get me wrong,” she said, turning to face him. “JB was a good man and a fine father. He loved children and we were planning to have a half a dozen or more, but his need to serve someone else or something else took him away from us. I don't blame him or resent him for his decision, but I don't think I'll ever understand the feelings that drive a man to leave his family and die a world away from those who love him.”

“It's a powerful drive indeed,” August said softly. “I'm sure JB felt proud, and in his heart he knew that he was offering his children the best he had. He gave his life that others might live free.”

“Much like Christ gave His life for us,” Beth said, startling August.

“I suppose that's true,” he agreed. “If Christ felt it necessary to come on our behalf and give His life, then maybe you can understand JB's desire to offer what he could for those he loved.”

“Maybe you're right,” Beth said as she considered August's words. “Jesus certainly loves us more than we can comprehend.”

August looked uncomfortable, so Beth decided to say no more. “I'd better go,” August finally said. “I'll have to be up pretty early, so don't worry about breakfast. I'll get something in town.”

“All right,” Beth said and watched as August walked quietly from the house. She whispered a prayer that August would find a way through whatever problem was causing him to feel alienated from God's peace.

August made his way to his room. Even though it was still light outside and would be for many hours, August closed the heavy shutters and prepared for bed. It was warm enough that he wouldn't need to light the stove.

He lay awake for a long time, thinking about the things Beth had said and how she constantly tried to steer him back to God. His conscience bothered him as he thought of the truth that he continued to deny.

God clearly wanted his attention, but August wasn't inclined to let go of his bitterness. God still hadn't listened to the desires of August's heart, and because of that, August questioned what purpose faith served.

As he drifted into a fitful sleep, August remembered how his inability to get into the army brought him to both his important job with the highway and Beth Hogan. One door had closed while another had opened and shown him a new way of life. But where did God fit in?

W
ith the boys busy playing in the backyard tree house, Beth took a moment out of her morning chores to enjoy a hot cup of coffee and a letter from her friend, Karen Sawin.

Karen shared bits of information, including the news that her husband had suffered an injury and was being sent home. Beth wished she could be there to help her friend, but travel was nearly impossible because of the war.

Reading on, Beth was glad to learn that the family who'd purchased her home was being blessed with yet another child and had plans to build onto the house in order to accommodate the addition.

Finishing the letter, Beth noted the fear and apprehension that Karen expressed as she awaited her husband's return. Beth whispered a prayer for her friend as she refolded the paper.

Setting the letter aside, Beth picked up a pad and pencil and scratched out a reminder to write to Karen at the first possible moment. She knew Karen would need all the encouragement she could get.

Beth glanced out the window to make certain the boys hadn't fallen out of the tree. She had faced the tree house with fear, but August had convinced her that boys needed such things. Who was she to argue with his wisdom? Giggles filtered down, assuring Beth that nothing was amiss.

Back at the table, Beth sipped weak coffee and tried to plan out the rest of the day. She jotted notes about lunch and supper, but inevitably her mind returned to thoughts of August. She could picture him standing in the yard playing with her children or chopping wood. He was an appealing man with a handsome face and a gentleness that she'd rarely seen in others. Her feelings for him were growing, but she knew he was troubled about God.

What was it that had hurt August so much that he couldn't deal with God?
Beth contemplated that question as she continued to enjoy the quiet.

“Beth?” August called from the front room.

Beth glanced at her watch and then at the clock on the wall. It was only nine o'clock. What was August doing back at this hour?

“In here,” Beth called and got to her feet. August came through the kitchen door with a worried look on his face. “What is it?” Beth questioned, knowing that August had something to tell her.

“You'd better sit down,” August said and pulled the chair out for Beth.

“What is it?” Beth repeated the question.

“What I'm going to tell you has to be kept secret, at least until you read about it in the newspapers.”

“I don't understand,” Beth said, and felt her stomach knot.

“You know why the highway was planned, don't you?”

“Sure,” Beth replied. “The government felt it was important to have an emergency road in order to get supplies through.”

“That's right,” August said. “Well, now we may very well need the road.”

“Why?” Beth questioned. “What's happened?”

“This is the part you mustn't tell anyone. The army took us into their confidence this morning. The Japanese have attacked the Aleutian Islands,” August announced.

“The Aleutians? But that's less than six hundred miles away,” Beth said as the color drained from her face. “Dear Lord, preserve us.”

“Look, Beth, the Aleutians are a long ways off. We're safe here, but the road project has been stepped up. We've got work to do and not much time to do it in. The troops are holding the Japanese back, but it's critical we get this road through.”

Tears filled Beth's eyes. “Are we really safe? I mean, are you sure?”

August saw the tears and heard Beth's voice tremble. He got up and put his hands on her shoulders just as she broke down.

“I can't bear it, August. I can't stand the fear, the worry. I have children whose safety depends on me. I just can't bear the thought of the enemy storming in here and, and …” Beth's sobs filled the air.

“Don't torture yourself, Beth. We really are safe. After all, there are more than ten thousand soldiers in Alaska and Canada. There's more than enough manpower here to keep us safe.”

Beth pushed away from August and got to her feet. “We probably had thousands of men in the Pacific as well. If men are so capable, why are we at war?”

“We're at war because we have to fight to keep free of dictators like Hitler and Mussolini, as well as military monsters like Tojo. Beth, please don't cry. Everything will work out. You'll see. Just have a little faith.”

Beth managed to compose herself. “Yes, of course you're right, August. Faith is the key. Faith in God, though, not in the American military. God will give them strength and wisdom. Prayer is going to be the key to this victory, and I'm sorry that I let go of that wisdom.”

August stepped forward and put his hand on Beth's arm. “I just wanted you to know what was going on before you heard about it from someone else. No doubt the newspaper will have enough about it in the days to come, but I never wanted to upset you. I know news like this can be frightening.”

“I'm all right now,” Beth said as she lifted her apron and dried her eyes. She wanted so much to prove her faith to August. Perhaps he'd once had faith, too, a faith that he'd lost because of tragedy. Maybe this was the reason God had sent August Eriksson into her life—not for love or marriage, but for him to see the truth of God's love.

August studied her for a moment. He wanted to hold her, to make her believe that everything would be all right, but in spite of the feelings that continued to grow, August held himself back.

There was something in Beth's eyes that signaled aloofness. She was content to put the entire matter in God's hands, and it seemed to August that she didn't need or desire his comfort. Shrugging his shoulders, he left the roadhouse with an ache in his heart for something he couldn't explain.

The hot June sun caused sweat to pour down August's back as he maneuvered the caterpillar into position. He was frustrated by Beth's attitude and wondered how he could combat it. She never came out and talked with him about her true feelings. She always managed to hide behind God or biblical principles, almost as if she knew it would distance August from her.