Authors: Susan Griscom
We spent most Saturday nights up here, sitting in Patrick's 1957 Thunderbird with the top down, taking in the stars and the city lights twinkling throughout the valley below. Simply gazing and dreaming, along with a few unmentionable other things.
I opened the car door, stepped onto the gravel and walked toward the edge of the cliff. Birds chirped while I took in the view of the valley
with
, of course, no sign of Patrick. Score one for my imagination. I should have gone to the beach.
“
Damn you, Patrick. I miss you so much.
”
I wrapped my arms around my shoulders and took a deep breath.
“
God, Patrick. Sometimes I can still smell your spicy cologne. How am I supposed to move on? How will I ever stop loving you?
”
I sighed and I walked back to my car. On the seat lay the gold heart pendant ne
cklace. I fingered my bare neck -
the clasp must have broken.
T
hen a chill ran down my spine and I glanced around the area
,
half expecting to see Patrick. Trees swayed lazily in the gentle Santa Ana breeze and a few leaves scurried over the gravel parking area. Two doves cooed back and forth in a delicate melodic rhythm, competing with the pulse of my heart
.
I reached in the car, picked up the necklace,
and
turn
ed
the heart over in the palm of my hand. Newly inscribed words graced the back:
“
To Katie, Forever my Love, Patrick.
”
I couldn't tell you if it was the sweet smell of honey, or the sight of her shadow that caught my attention. The light from the street lamp above surrounded her as if her soul was aglow. She was the most angelic creature I’d ever seen.
I looked down at the ten Zyprexa in my hand, fully intending to down the lot. As she approached, I stuck them in my pocket. My other hand stayed fisted around a paper bag holding the bottle of Jack I was planning to use as a chaser. I stared at her. I couldn't help it. She was lovely. The most beautiful creature I'd ever seen.
I swallowed the saliva that hung on my tongue.
“
Can I help you?
”
“
Yes, I ... I'm lost. I thought there was a phone booth somewhere along this embankment. I must have walked too far in the wrong direction. I was wondering if you know where one is and if it’s very far away.
”
“
I do, and you're not far off. You're actually almost there. I'm going that way if you'd like to walk with me,
”
I lied.
Anything to stay in her company because I was suddenly dumbstruck—like a schoolboy with his first crush.
“
Ah ... by the way, my name's Cole Murphy.
”
“
Hello, Cole, I'm Carena.
”
“
So, Carena, what are you doing out here on a
chilly
night like this?
”
Remembering, I quickly added,
“
Besides looking for a phone booth.
”
She smiled and my heart sang.
“
I just left the antique shop down the road, and needed to call a cab. I didn't realize it was so far away. It's nice of you to walk with me. I hope I'm not keeping you from anything.
”
I chuckled and held the brown paper bag to my side so she wouldn’t see it.
“
No, nothing that can't wait.
”
I needed to do something fast to get to know this woman. There was something about her, I couldn’t pinpoint what it was, but I couldn't just let her walk away. She was too beautiful.
She wasn’t wearing much of a coat and she did look rather chilly.
“
Listen, it's very cold out here, especially this close to the water. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?
”
“
I don't know. I really should call for a cab. I hear the cabs around here can take forever after you request a pick-up.
”
“
Well, how about we go make that call. Then, while you're waiting...
”
I saw the hesitation on her face.
“
One quick cup.
Just to warm up. It’s a little colder out here than I thought it would be.
”
“
Okay, just to warm up. But I don't have much time.
”
I wondered where she needed to be by a certain time, but I didn’t want to pry and scare her off, so I nodded and led her to the phone booth that just happened to be right next door to a small café. She made the call while I waited outside the booth.
“
They said it would be thirty minutes,
”
she said and smiled.
It must be my lucky day after all. The pills in my pocket weren’t going anywhere soon. I had thirty minutes to win her heart. Could I do it? I had to. Now I had a reason to live.
We sat at the corner table in the cafe, overlooking the river, sipping our coffee. We had plain black coffee, the only kind I drink and I was glad she didn’t go in for that fancy
schmancy
cappuccino stuff. She looked a little confused, actually, when she read the menu. When I suggested two black coffees, she smiled and nodded. I found myself telling her all about my family, my likes and my dislikes, all the things I've never cared to share with a woman before. Completely immersed and enjoying my unnatural knack for dominating a conversation, I forgot we were strangers.
“
You have beautiful eyes. The way the golden specks sparkle against the brown is fascinating.
”
I stared into those eyes. Lost in their rich honey swirl, and without thinking first, I said,
“
I love you, Carena.
”
I found myself saying this without a care in the world. It didn't bother me that I just met her, that she might consider me insane. After all, how many men blurt that out in the first fifteen minutes after meeting a woman?
“
I know, Cole. I love you too,
”
she said to my amazement.
“
This is crazy,
”
I said, smiling. I was ecstatic, almost unable to sit still in my chair.
She placed her hand on top of mine.
“
Cole, I don't have much time. Please promise me you'll go straight home from here. Please ... don't go back down the embankment.
”
Now I saw dread in those brown eyes, the golden speckles so full of doom.
“
Why? Is something wrong?
”
She couldn’t possibly know I had a pocket full of drugs—enough that, if I took them all like I’d planned, would send me off to the afterlife I felt I so sorely deserved. Then something she’d just said registered in my brain.
“
What did you mean when you said you didn't have much time?
”
I searched her eyes for some hint, some measure of reassurance, willing those flecks of gold to sparkle again.
“
My cab is here.
”
“
Forget the cab.
”
“
Cole, I will love you forever. You are a kind, and gentle man, very capable of giving love and
being loved
. Don't fool yourself into thinking you aren't.
”
“
What are you talking about?
”
“
You will love many, just as I've loved you.
”
“
Loved? What do you mean
loved?
”
“
I wish I could tell you more, but I can’t. If I do, then this will be for nothing.
”
The cab arrived; she kissed me lightly on the cheek, and got in without another word.
All what,
“
be for nothing?
”
I was a fool to think I could win her affections in only thirty minutes. She was gone.
I walked, my head hung low as I fingered the pills in my pocket. I stopped in front of the antique shop Carena mentioned and decided to go in, maybe ask the storeowner who she was or where she lived and I could have another shot. The store was empty.
“
Hello?
”
No one answered. I looked around and an old portrait in an antique gold frame caught my eye. I picked it up.
Carena?
I turned it over. There was an inscription on the back.
Carena Murphy, age twenty-eight, 1878.
That was the day my great-great-grandmother saved my life.
Without question, she would die. If not by the hand of her master, then surely by her own. One more day of squatting by that stream with her hands in that frigid water and Naomi thought she would go mad.
How had this happened? How had fate taken such a turn? It was stupid really.
Plain stupid.
Barbus
was a
w
retched man, full of promises and lies
,
f
illing her head with hope, making commitments he
had no intention of fulfilling
. He was to marry Naomi and share his dreams with her. Instead,
Barbus
only wanted to possess her
,
n
ever caring what Naomi wanted, or how she felt.
At first, she’d tried to please
Barbus
, but that got her nowhere fast
.
S
he feared all the beauty she once possessed
was now hidden
behind rags and buckets full of dirty wash water,
and a worthy suitor would never admire her
again. She would forever be
Barbus
’ slave. Someone he could intimidate with brute strength. Someone he could belittle with criticism. Someone he could gain pleasure from only to give back nothing in return but pain.
Naomi knew in her heart that this was not her destiny. This was not
who she was meant
to be. How had she allowed herself to
be kept
captive for so long? She had knelt by that stream everyday now for the past three weeks, scrubbing and scrubbing that old brown
fleece
trying to make it turn white until her knuckles
—
raw, red, and
chafed
with cuts
—
no longer resembled any part of her hands.
Like every
other
day for the past three weeks, Naomi sat on the hard cold rock, dipping the
wool
in the flowing stream, pulling it out and rubbing it against the ragged stone
,
mumbling to herself,
“
Please turn white today. Please turn white.
”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something shimmer from under the water. She stopped scrubbing for a second and blinked, shook her head and dipped the fl
eece
into the stream once
more
. When she saw the glint in the stream again, she stopped and pulled the cloth out of the water and stared at the
water
, waiting for the little flash of light again but nothing happened.
“
How long are you going to keep trying to change that rag into something it isn’t?
”
a
rich, sultry voice whispered from behind her
.
Naomi leaped up turn
ing
to see a strange man dressed in black leather pants and an equally black leather jacket. His wheat
-
colored curls hung down over his forehead and glistened against the sun as though they were wet.
“
Who are you?
”
“
I am
Leith
,
a
t you
r
service.
”
“
Leith
?
My service?
Where did you come from?
”
“
The water
,
of course.
You’ve been dippin
g
that old brown rag in me for three weeks now. I don’t think it’s going to change.
”
“
Dipping it in you? What are you talking about?
”
“
I am
Leith
. You come to me every day with that same old brown cloth mumbling to yourself, wishing it would turn white. Why do you think you can make something dark become light just by sticking it in my graceful waves?
”