Bright Young Things (14 page)

‘What’s the name of that bloke from Radio One who got shot?’ asks Thea.

‘They should have finished the job,’ says Bryn.

‘I think he’s nice,’ says Emily.

‘What is his name, though?’ says Thea. ‘It’s on the tip of my tongue.’

There is a moment of thought, but it comes to no one.

‘I like the
Evening Session
,’ says Jamie. ‘And John Peel.’

It’s warm now, under all the duvets. Paul, for reasons he doesn’t totally understand, wants to move closer to Anne. It’s nothing sexual. He just wants a human touch. He doesn’t know why.

‘TV programmes,’ says Anne.

‘
Friends
,’ says Emily instantly. ‘I’ve got all the videos.’

‘I hate
Friends
,’ says Thea. ‘With a passion.’

‘How can you hate
Friends
?’ asks Emily. ‘It’s so good.’

‘It’s stupid,’ says Thea. ‘No one is actually like that.’

‘I like “Chums”,’ says Anne. ‘On
SM:TV
.’

‘I like that,’ says Jamie.

Paul has trouble imagining Jamie tuning in to Saturday morning TV, unless it was for a wank-fest over Britney Spears and the girls (or possibly H) from Steps.

‘Oh, and Jerry Springer,’ says Emily. ‘I adore Jerry.’

‘This gets worse,’ says Thea. ‘How can you like that stuff ?’

‘Come on,’ says Emily. ‘Jerry’s cool. I’ve got the book with all the show titles in it.’

‘Weird,’ says Thea, shaking her head.

‘What do you like, then?’ asks Jamie.

‘I don’t watch much TV,’ she says. ‘I quite like
League of Gentlemen
.’

‘That’s cool,’ says Emily. ‘Do you like the
Fast Show
as well?’

‘No,’ says Thea.

‘It is pretty stupid,’ agrees Anne.

‘What’s yours then?’ Emily asks her.

‘
Home and Away
, of course,’ she says.

‘Bryn?’ asks Thea.

‘I like News 24,’ he says. ‘And the Discovery Channel.’

‘What?’ says Emily. ‘Don’t you find that stuff boring?’

‘Nah,’ he says. ‘I like knowing what goes on in the world.’

‘I like
The Simpsons
,’ says Jamie. ‘And
South Park
.’

‘I just saw the
South Park
movie,’ says Emily.

‘Now that’s a good film,’ says Paul, and he means it.

‘What about you?’ Emily asks Paul. ‘What’s your favourite TV programme?’

‘
Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
’ he says, randomly.

‘Don’t get me started on that,’ says Emily. ‘I’ve phoned every single time . . .’

‘Computer games next, then,’ says Jamie.

‘Videogames,’ corrects Emily.

‘What?’ says Jamie.

‘Videogames is the correct term,’ she says.

‘Don’t bicker,’ says Anne. ‘Although Emily is right.’

There’s a faint orange glow in the room where two or three people are smoking.

‘Emily first then,’ says Jamie. ‘Since she’s the
expert
.’

‘Me?’ she says. ‘God, no. I’m out too often. I barely even get the chance to watch TV. I’ve played “Sonic” and “Ecco the Dolphin”. One of my ex-boyfriends had a Megadrive. But that’s it really. Oh, and I’ve played “Mortal Kombat” once, although I couldn’t really get the hang of it.’

‘I like “Tomb Raider”,’ says Jamie.

‘What format?’ asks Paul.

‘Sorry?’ says Jamie.

‘Have you got a PlayStation?’

‘PC,’ says Jamie.

‘Cool,’ says Paul.

‘I wish I had my Gameboy,’ says Anne. ‘Then I could play “Pokémon”.’

‘You’ve got “Pokémon”?’ asks Emily. ‘That’s like, supposed to be the next big thing, but I thought you could only get it in America and Japan.’

‘Import,’ says Anne wistfully.

‘They had a Gameboy in
The Beach
,’ comments Jamie.

‘Yeah, well we’re not in
The Beach
, are we?’ says Anne. ‘And even if we were I wouldn’t have “Pokémon”. They had “Tetris”, didn’t they? Or some boring game, anyway.’

‘What beach?’ asks Bryn.

‘Never mind,’ says Emily.

‘What else do you like apart from “Pokémon”?’ asks Paul.

‘Every “Mario” title – especially the second one where you can play as Princess Daisy, although I suppose the third one is my real favourite – the original “Streetfighter” series, the “Tempest” games, but mainly “Tempest 2000”, “Duke Nukem” – particularly the second one, “Time to Kill”, which is fantastic – “GTA”, “Zelda”, “Theme Park”, “Theme Hospital”, “Rayman”, “Broken Sword” . . . I enjoyed “Metal Gear Solid” at the time, but then I discovered the “Final Fantasy” series and it seemed a bit shit. It’s worth it though just to hear Liquid Snake’s stupid accent: “The Genome soldiers are our—”’

‘Don’t give the plot away,’ says Paul, laughing. ‘“Final Fantasy VII”
is
the best game in the world, though.’

‘Absolutely,’ says Anne. ‘Along with “Pokémon”, of course.’

‘I’m looking forward to that,’ says Paul.

‘I thought you’d be more into “Doom” and “Quake” and everything,’ says Anne.

‘Nah,’ says Paul. ‘I’m a vegetarian.’

‘What’s so great about “Final Fantasy”?’ asks Thea. ‘It’s a platform game, right?’

‘No,’ says Anne.

‘It’s an RPG isn’t it?’ says Jamie uncertainly.

‘Yeah,’ says Anne.

‘I remember when it first came out,’ Paul says. ‘Me and two of my friends all got the game on the day of its release. We decided we’d have a competition to see who could finish it first. It was one of those things where the rules of the challenge weren’t made entirely clear, so I just thought we’d compare the hours racked up on our memory cards when we all finished. I’d heard it took about seventy hours to complete, and I reckoned I could do it in about fifty, although I saved my “fast” game on one block of memory card and then kept another one going so I could explore the world without knocking back my hour score.’

‘Do you play on a PlayStation?’ asks Jamie.

‘Yeah,’ says Paul. ‘I work on a PC, so I don’t really play many games on it. I also like collecting consoles. I’ve got a few old Ataris, a NES, a Master System, a SNES, a Megadrive, a Jaguar, a Saturn, an N64 and the PlayStation. I’ve got an old Spectrum as well, although it’s fucked, so I use a Spectrum Emulator on my computer.’

‘Snap,’ says Anne. ‘Except I never got a Saturn, and I don’t have any Ataris.’

He’s beginning to really like this girl. ‘Have you got a working Spectrum?’ he asks.

‘Oh, yeah,’ she says. ‘And a load of old tapes. It was the first machine I had.’

‘What’s your favourite Spectrum game?’ asks Paul.

‘“Automania”,’ she says. ‘You know, the one with Wally Week in it.’

‘Cool,’ says Paul.

‘And “Ms Pacman”,’ she adds. ‘Because it’s so ridiculous.’

‘I know,’ he says. ‘They just put a hair ribbon on Pacman.’

They both laugh.

‘It’s good you did the fast and slow version thing on “Final Fantasy VII”,’ Anne says, getting back to the subject, ‘because all the Chocobo racing and breeding takes up loads of time. I spent about a week just in the Gold Saucer.’

‘What are you talking about?’ asks Emily.

‘Chocobos are these magic birds, a bit like ostriches, that you can ride across the World Map,’ explains Anne. ‘And the Gold Saucer is kind of a Las Vegas thing – a game, or really several games, within a game. You can go there for a laugh, or to save up GP to buy special items. They have Chocobo races there. You can bet on the races or even ride in them.’

‘I’m even more lost now,’ says Emily. ‘You can buy stuff?’

‘Yeah,’ says Paul. ‘I bought a villa in the Costa Del Sol.’

‘What’s the premise for the game?’ asks Jamie.

‘You start off as this character called Cloud,’ explains Paul. ‘The “world” in the game – which is made up of this big city called Midgar, and then various villages over several continents – is controlled by a corporation called Shinra, who are corrupt, and who drain all the magic Mako energy from the planet. They do evil experiments and generally use magic for evil and whatever. It’s the usual Japanese narrative set-up. Cloud is a mercenary who’s been hired by a revolutionary organisation called Avalanche. Once Cloud has helped blow up a Mako reactor, he joins the group – or rather, they join him – and he sets off on his life’s crusade, which is to defeat Sephiroth, the ultimate evil force in the game.’

Anne continues: ‘As you go through the game you pick up items and magic. It’s a lot more complicated than “Mario”, where you just power-up with mushrooms and flowers, or even “Tomb Raider”, where you can keep a few Medi Packs in your rucksack. In “FF7” you can carry unlimited items, and you have weapons and armour which you can equip with particular types of magic. You can cast bad spells on enemies, good spells on yourself, summon Gods and Goddesses to help you in battles, or use magic to increase your strength. You also win money and points in every battle you have. You can use the money to buy items in towns. It’s so cool, there are shops everywhere, and really cool subplots in the towns and stuff . . .’

‘So what happened with this competition with your friends?’ Thea asks Paul.

‘Well,’ he says. ‘The problem is that the game really gives you the feeling of being in another world. My two friends, Nick and Tony, shared a flat and they became totally absorbed in the experience, and also in the competition between them. But the worst thing they did was to decide to do their competition in real time. Instead of comparing memory card times, they were just going to see who finished first. It was a big mistake. For two days and three nights, they didn’t move from their PlayStations. They both believed they were Cloud. They both loved the same female character. The trouble is that one of the themes of the whole game is the idea of the split between good and evil, not just in the world but within people. Even the good characters have weaknesses they have to overcome, and some of the bad characters have interesting motivations that aren’t entirely evil. Anyway, the main good character, Cloud, is linked to the main bad character, Sephiroth. In a way they are two halves of the same thing; a living dialectic. Only by the fusion of Sephiroth’s desire for evil and Cloud’s desire for good can the world be changed and ultimately saved. Anyway, in the game there are scenes where Cloud becomes confused and is almost controlled by Sephiroth. At about the time that this was happening in the plot of the game, Tony started to become a bit unhinged. He’d been up for about forty-eight hours by this point; his vision had long gone and his brain was starting to go a bit messy. On all games it says you’re supposed to take breaks every hour or so, or at least look at something other than the screen for a few minutes. But Tony never looked away from the screen in all that time.’

‘What about Nick?’ asks Emily.

‘The same, but he wasn’t as mad as Tony.’

‘What do you mean?’ asks Thea. ‘Why was Tony mad?’

‘He started believing that Nick was Sephiroth. At the point in the game where you’re supposed to go into the North Cave and face Sephiroth for the last time, Tony abandoned the game and decided to invade Nick’s bedroom instead. Nick had put up this joke sign saying “North Cave – abandon hope all ye who enter here”, which Tony may have taken literally. They both kept ornamental Samurai swords in the house, and Tony had already decided that this would be his best choice of weapon. So he burst into what he clearly thought was the North Cave, to defeat Sephiroth with his sword. Forced to defend himself, Nick grabbed his own sword. They both swung at each other at exactly the same moment. The police found their two headless bodies one week later, when people started missing them and their corpses started to smell.’

There are a couple of moments of silence.

‘Is that true?’ asks Thea

‘Of course not,’ says Paul. ‘I don’t have any friends. Brilliant game though.’

Anne is woken by the sound of Jamie swearing. She yawns and turns. She’s now facing Paul, although he’s facing Thea. The whole group looks like a party that’s just passed out mid-conga. She props herself up on her elbow. Bright sunlight picks out little bits of ash on the carpet, some pairs of shoes and socks. It’s a warm morning, a complete contrast with the cold night. Everyone seems to be stirring. It looks like Jamie woke them all up.

‘What time is it?’ asks Thea sleepily.

‘Ten,’ says Jamie.

There are yawning sounds and a lot of stretching.

‘I had the strangest dream,’ says Anne sleepily. ‘I was skiing down this slope and—’

Paul laughs. Emily giggles sleepily.

‘Very funny, Anne. We all know the joke,’ says Thea.

‘I don’t,’ says Bryn.

Emily sighs. ‘You must know it. It’s the one where these two blokes and a girl are in a hotel, and for whatever reason, like the hotel’s full or something, they all end up having to share a bed – and of course the girl goes in the middle, between the two blokes. In the morning, the first guy says he’s had this amazing dream that he was being wanked off by a beautiful woman. The second guy says, “God, that’s a coincidence, I had exactly the same dream,” and the girl says, “Men are so typical. I had a nice innocent dream about skiing down a lovely snowy slope.” Or whatever. I’m shit at telling jokes.’