Bro-mance 101 (9 page)

Ramon’s deep chuckle echoed throughout the room.  “I c
an see w
hy he’s so enthralled with you.”

“
Yea
h, meaningless sex will do that.”

Ramon’s smile faded
. 
“Dev doesn’t think your encou
nter was so meaningless.
In fact, he’s taken a lot of
what you said to heart.”

“Good.”

“
Bad
,” Ramon corrected.  “
You’ve got his thinking off-kilter.  After one conversation
with you, he’s losing his edge.”
  His green eyes quietly
studied
her.  “
That edge is what makes our show
successful.”

Zhané
picked up the visual aids for her presentation from her desk, and a
dded her iPad to the top of the s
tack. 
“
As I said earlier, I’m t
r
y
ing to prepare for a meeting.  Give my regards to Dev.
And tell him to keep his mouth shut
about us
.
”

She prepared to make a dramatic sweep
past
him, but
Ramon
stood and blocked her path. 
“
Why do
n’t
you tell him yourself?
”

“Aren’t you his boss?”

“
Devlin is his own boss.  And
y
ou’re one of the few people he’s listened to.  From what I heard, you didn’t back down.  You gave as good as you got and you d
id
n’
t take
his crap
.  I think he called you an independent woman who had her shit to
gether
.
”
 

Zhané
bit back a
smile at that remark. 

“
I tend to agree with him
,” Ramon offered.  “
I have a proposal I think you’ll appreciate.
”

“
The only
proposal I wanted didn’t happen
–thanks to Dev.
”
  She shrugged.
“
But I’m over it.  That was the other good thing that came from my
rendezvous with him.”

“
Please,
”
Ramon
held his hands up in surrender, “just hear me out.
  I think you’ll like what I have to say.
”

********

“Tonight’s question is
how many dates should
you
go
on before you
can expect sex from a woman
?”
 
Devlin paused,
imagin
ing
his words
float
ing through
the microphone
and mingling with the radio waves
.  “
One of my listeners,
Jonas P.
,
made a comment on the blog,” Devlin continued.  “
He says
,
and I quote,
‘I’m not trying to invest a whole bunch of time in a relationship only to discover we’re not sexually compatible.  If I don’t get some
coochie
by the third date, I’ll dump a woman.’

“Whew!” Devlin whistled.  “Jonas, stop beating around the bush and tell us how you really feel.
  Another blogger, 2SM
OO
V4U
, writes ‘I tell a woman on our first date that if she doesn’t give it up within a month, it’s not going to work.
’
”

Devlin chuckled.  “
I see m
y listeners are serious when it comes to getting some nookie.  This guy is calling it quits after one month. 
Everybody knows their breaking point.
I ain’t mad atcha fellas.”  Devlin noticed the
switch
board was lit up with callers.  He quickly took the next one.  “Caller, you’re
on th
e air.  Who am I speaking with?”

“This is
Miss Ind
ependent,” the sexy voice cooed. 

Devlin’s
heartbeat stuttered.  He knew that voic
e.
The owner had
chewed him out.
Then, pleaded in his ear for him not to stop
his sensual assault on her
. 
He could still smell her scent on his body. 
He
had to fight the erection he got just remembering the feel of her warm thighs wrapped around him.

He recovered, eager to speak with her.  “Caller, this show is romance from a man’s point-of-view, but
I’ll hear everybody out
.
”

“
Good, bec
ause I’d hate
to think you were a
sexist
pig.
I’ve been list
en
ing to your show, and the fema
le
viewpoint
i
s definitely under
represented.”

Devlin smiled. 
“
Uh, in case you
haven’t
noticed, this show is called
Bro-mance
101.”

“Honey, you can’t h
ave
any
Bro-mance
without
the ladies.
 
A
re
you scare
d
of females or som
e
t
h
ing?
Worried
we
’re
going to inject som
e
logic into your p
aranoid arguments?”

“
If you’d seen some of the deranged women
I
’
ve
deal
t
with, you w
ouldn’t think
I was
paranoid.”

“Speaking of
deranged
, let’s take a look at
tonight’s
asinine
topic:
how many dates do
you
take
a woman
on before you demand she give it up?
  You cannot be serious.”
 

“Hey, it’s a legit question.”

“
Just
a few weeks ago, you were talking about women who give
it up too soon. 
You are by far the most
schizophrenic
host I’ve ever listened to.  You w
ant
to have
your
cake and eat it too!”

“
Hell yeah! 
While you’re at it, throw in the candles and the balloons.”

“
You men don’t know what you want.
”

“
A
in’t that the pot calling the kettle black? 
Everybody knows women have flip-flopping down to a science.  First, you push your three month rule on us.  Then, you
flip the script and try to give us
all the candy at once.”

“
That’s not the point
,”
Zhané
quipped.
“
Even if we
only had a one month rule, men would
be trying to get in
to our pants the first week!”

Or in my case, the first night.

“
Well,
” Devlin demanded.  “
w
hat other o
ptions do you
have to offer
?
  Most men don’t want to wait three long months.”

“
Ever hear of phone sex?
”

“
Oh no
!  That’ll
give a brotha a case of the blue balls!
”

Zhané
’s light-hearted laugh cozily wrapped itself around him.  “
Women have sexual frustration
s
too
,” she admitted, “but i
f you want it bad enough you’ll wait.
”
 

Devlin enjoyed bantering with her. 
“You’re right
,” he conceded.  “
I’m
such a hyp
ocrit
e
.”

She laughed again.  “You’re
just saying that to get me off this phone.
”

He
r humor was infectious, and Devlin
chuckle
d
along with her
.
“Yeah, you’re
right about that too. 
I
can’t have
crazy women
calling into my show
.
”

“
You men need us crazy women
,” she insisted.  “If not for us, you wouldn’t
have a damn thing to talk about!  G
oodnight, Mr. Devlin Hart-less.”

Zhané
hung up before Devlin could get another word in
. 
In her wake, she’d filled the void that
he’d
been feeling for the past
few
weeks.  His heart rate soared.  His a
drenaline
was pumping. 
Zhané
gave him a high like no other. 

He turned his attention
back
to the board, which was lit up like a Christmas tree.  Callers were
desperately
trying to reach him.  He took one call after another, and
each person
had something to say about
the mysterious female caller
.

“
…Miss Independent made some good points...”

“…Hell yeah, we want to have our cake and eat it too!”

“…Man
, you can’t let th
at woman call you
schizophrenic
…”

“…
I need me a tough lady like that
to keep me
grounded
…”

Devlin glanced up to see
Ramon
st
anding
behind
the glass
divider
doing his version of a happy dance.  Devlin didn’t need to see the ratings charts to know that Miss Independent was a hit. 
He knew Ramon well enough to figure out exactly what the man
w
as going to
do next
.

EIGHT

One of the
perks
Zhané
enjoyed about her job was that
it
was
located less than a mile from where Katina
leased an office
as a private consultant
.
 
No matter
how hectic their schedules, the two
always made time to have lunch to
gether at least once a month.  After a leisurely lunch
of
seared tuna
salads
at Houston’s Restaurant, they returned back to
Zhané
’s office so Katina could show
off
a new computer program she was working on. 

“I can’t believe you don’t trust me to
view
this on my own,”
Zhané
complained as the pair
took the elevator to
the tenth floor
,
and walked
through the
glass doors of the
spacious
lobby.

“
It’s not that I don’t trust you,” Katina assured her.  “
I just can’t let that flash drive out of my sight.
  It’s top secret.
”

“
Who’s your client
?  T
he
FBI
?
”

Katina shot her a deadpan look.  “If I told you
comrade
, I’d have to kill you.”

Zhané
rolled her eyes. 
“If you
keep mangling that Russian
accent,
I might
have to
kill myself.”

Katina cracked up laughing as she followed
Zhané
past Marji’s desk. 
Her secretary
had a
carved-on
grin wide enough to make
a
jack-o-lantern envious.