Broken (8 page)

Chapter 13

August, 2010; The Present

“Gabby,” Bradley spoke softly as he brushed a stray hair out of her eyes and tucked it gently behind her ear.

Gabby felt all the air leave her body and she couldn’t help herself as she leaned into Bradley’s hand.
Oh, his touch
. She had only known it for a few moments before she had ran away that night in June, but until she had felt it just then, she had not realized how much she had been missing it, how much she had longed for it. She felt her face start to redden and those familiar feelings of arousal came rushing back in as quickly as the wave crashing in the background. She slowly closed her eyes as she breathed in a cleansing breath. When she opened her bronze eyes looking up at him, she spoke softly, “How did you know I’d be here? What are you doing here?”

“I called Cade and asked him for Sam’s number. I called Sam last week and asked her how I could get in touch with you. She told me she thought you would be back in town today. So, I cleared my schedule for the weekend. I’m staying at the Harborview Inn again. I had just pulled up to your house as she was walking out to come meet you.” Bradley’s eyes were gleaming at her with pride, anticipation, nervousness, and excitement at his confession.

“Wow. Sounds like you went through a lot of trouble to find me. I don’t know what to say. What can I do for you?” Surely, he wasn’t coming for anything positive. Their only encounter up until now had been raw with emotion and by all accounts had not gone smoothly.
Why would he electively subject himself to that again
, she wondered?

“I have tried to get you off my mind for the entire summer. I can hardly look at another woman because she’s not you. I know that we don’t really know each other. But, I had to see if I saw you again, if I touched you again,” he closed his eyes again and sighed “if
this
,
this feeling
would still be here.” He opened his eyes, looking at her with a look of resolve and relief at his own confession. She knew what he was feeling, because she felt
this
, too. But, she had felt that before and she had been left so badly broken and shattered. She had just really gotten over that in June when she met Bradley and she knew with Sam being away this year she was not emotionally ready or available to trust a man again.

“Say something,” he whispered moving that same piece of hair out of her face again and also stepping a bit closer to her. He was so thankful for that piece of hair. He longed to touch her again, but he didn’t want to push his luck. When she touched him again, he wanted it to be because she longed for his touch, too. Not, because she was pushing him away like she had done months before.

“I don’t know what to say. Thank you for coming.” It was almost a question because she was caught off guard and she wasn’t sure if she was happy he was here, or not. She glanced down fidgeting with her fingers.
Oh this was awkward,
she thought.

“Are you really thankful I came, or are you just being polite, Miss Gerhart?” A slight smile formed in the corner of his mouth.

“Just being polite, I think,” she replied, still looking down, she briefly glanced toward him and back down again, never moving her head.

Cupping her chin between his thumb and his finger he tilted her chin up so she had to look at him, “Do you feel
this
?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Good, then come to dinner with me tonight at the Peninsula Grill.” His voice was authoritative, and it made Gabby feel uncomfortable. She couldn’t decide if the discomfort was because she liked that tone, or not.

“Miss Gerhart, the last time I saw you, you had quite a mouthful to shout at me. You’re really quiet today. Cat got your tongue,” he asked amused.

“No,” she smarted off at him slightly smiling and relieved to release some of the emotional buildup she had been trying to contain.

“No, you won’t come to dinner. Or, no, the cat doesn’t have your tongue?” He curled his finger up over his mouth and cocked his head to one side trying to hide his smile. Oh, how he had missed Gabby and her cute feistiness.

“Oh, just knock it off, Mr. Charming!” She tried to act serious as she was shoving his chest pushing him away. But, as she pushed him she couldn’t help but let out a small playful smile. It turned into a giggle when his muscular body didn’t budge even a little bit at her efforts.

“Ah, I think that’s the second time you’ve called me charming. If you find me charming, the least you could do is accompany me to dinner.” He winked and quickly added, “Don’t think I overlooked that you never answered my question, either.”

Gabby placed her head between both of her hands and started rubbing her temples as she squeezed her eyes. She could barely think around this cocky, controlling man and she felt like she was starting to get a headache from dehydration, heat, and the myriad of emotions that accompany Bradley Banks’s presence. “It’s just that you...” she growled and shook her head disapprovingly. “I what, Gabby,” he asked pushing her to continue to speak. “You make it hard for me to think....you’re exasperating...you’re infuriating,” she sighed. “How?” He cocked his head to one side again, completely serious. “I don’t know.” she said looking back down and once again fidgeting with her fingers. “I do. Based on what you said that night, I think you are scared. I think
this
makes you so scared that you’re running from it. I get it. I was only slightly relieved you ran last time. I thought I would be better off without
this
, because
this
has already been far more complicated than anything I have ever welcomed. But, I need to explore it and I have decided that I’ll do whatever I have to do to get to know you better, Gabby. But, you, I think you’re confused because on the one hand you feel it. You already said you feel it. Your mind is telling you to run, but your body isn’t. You don’t want to explore this because if you do, you will have to feel something other than the numbness. If you’re numb, you can’t be hurt again. I don’t know what the jerk did to you, but I’ve spent the past several months glad that I don’t know his name. I, as I believe you said, have only known you all of five minutes, and I’m already protective of you. Don’t run away this time. I moved too fast with you that night. Let’s take this slow. Please, a date, a real date. Let me take you to dinner tonight? Let me get to know you.” It was a plea this time, not a command. He softly caressed her cheek again knowing the effect his touch had on her. She didn’t realize it, but he could feel her relax every time he touched her. He knew she longed for his touch and was ultimately comforted by it, even if it scared her.

Gabby gazed into his eyes amazed at his honesty and how well he could already read her. She had told him that she wanted someone to want her mind, body, and soul. Was this his way of expressing to her he was willing to try? It’s not like he came free from baggage or was Mr. Perfect. He admitted he didn’t do commitment. Surely, he wouldn’t have come all this way and made such an effort to just get laid. She was sure he could have that whenever or wherever he wanted it. She shuddered at the thought of him with another woman.

“Gabby,” he pleaded interrupting her thoughts. “Yes,” she smirked, again vaguely answering his question.
Oh, she’s playing now
, he thought, slightly relieved. He narrowed his eyes and leaned a little closer putting their foreheads together and moving that stray piece of hair once more behind her ear. “Yes, as in what do you want? Or, yes, I’ll go to dinner with you Mr. Charming,” seductively smiling at her.

Her plan had backfired because with that move closer, his eyes bold and dilated, and that contact, all she wanted was for him to kiss her soft and tenderly, like she had longed for once before.

“Yes, I’ll go to dinner with you,” she spoke so softly he could barely hear her and she looked at him with raw vulnerability and excitement.

Chapter 14

February 2008

Ian opened the car door of the SUV helping her in because Gabby had chosen to wear a black miniskirt with a black scoop neck top. It had three-quarter-length sleeves and clung perfectly to all the right places. She had paired the outfit with black wedge sandals. The outfit made Ian smile because dressed in all black. She looked cute and sexy all at the same time.

“Thank you,” Gabby said with a flirty smile. “You’re welcome.” He winked as he shut the door and quickly jumped into his seat. “So, you said you were taking me out to eat for our five-month anniversary. Where are we going,” Gabby inquired.

“It’s a surprise.” He didn’t turn his head and he slightly glanced in her direction barely taking his eyes off the road, but she could see his proud smile.
What was he up to?
she thought. It was already 9:30 p.m. and she only had two more hours before curfew. “Well, I’m sure wherever you take me, I’ll love it. You could take me to McDonald’s and as long as I’m with you, I am sure to be the happiest girl on the planet.” She grinned at Ian and reached to hold his hand. When she had put her hand in his he pulled her hand to his lips and kissed the top of her hand. Then, he took her finger and gently sucked on it. She gasped and her eyes got big. That had certainly not been what she expected. Again, Ian never took his eyes off the road, but she could see in his profile that he was definitely smiling his most proud evil grin. “There’s more of where that came from shortly, Gabby,” he teased.

“Hmm, well I guess we should eat quickly so I won’t be late for my curfew, then.” She leaned in a little closer to give him a taste of his own medicine. She brushed her lips with her tongue making them moist and she leaned into his cheek. Ever so gently she smiled as she planted a long and wet kiss on his cheek. Ian gasped, “Hey, I’m driving,” as he began to laugh with anticipation.

“I thought you said we were going out to eat?” Gabby was puzzled as they pulled into Ian’s driveway.

“Well, you are going out to eat. You’re going to eat at my house. I’m not going out to eat. I did say I was taking you somewhere special. I didn’t lie. Surprise,” Ian smirked at his carefully thought out explanation as he cut the ignition off and climbed out to open the door for Gabby. “Um, what are you up to, Ian? Your parents would kill us if they knew we were here tonight alone.”

“Why are you whispering, Gabby? It’s not like we’re playing hiding go seek and someone might hear you. We’re alone. I do have something special planned for you. Come on.” He grabbed her hand leading her into the front door of his large brick home.

Ian walked over to the stainless steel French refrigerator and pulled out several boxes from A.W. Shucks. He knew it was her favorite place to eat in Charleston. He started warming their trays in the microwave. While he waited he got out two dinner glasses and filled them with ice. “Do you want sweet tea, lemonade, diet coke, or water,” he asked sweetly naming all her favorite drinks. Gabby was leaning against the counter smiling, “Hmmm. You’re full of surprises tonight. Why don’t you pick for me.”

“Sweet tea it is, then.” Ian poured the tea into the glass and then filled his. He handed it to her and smirking, he tapped his glass to hers, “To firsts.”

“Hmm, what firsts are we toasting to? You sucking my finger in the car?” She was feisty Gabby tonight.

“Mhmm, well, and I had some other firsts planned, too,” he winked.

“What kind of firsts, Ian,” her mood quickly changed. She was now anxious and worried. Ian had never pressured her to have sex. They had done practically everything else, but he had always seemed fine with not taking it further. He knew she was a virgin, but he had never acted like that bothered him. Gabby had promised her mother that she would wait until she got married. That was not something she was willing to back out on at this point in her life. She just couldn’t.
Oh, I hope our night is not ruined by this
, she thought as she bit her lip. Having put her drink down, she began to fidget with her long fingers.

“Oh, I guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” Ian responded to her question she had briefly forgotten she’d even asked. “Ian,” she spoke softly. “Yeah?” He never turned to look at her; his back was facing her as he got the food out of the microwave. “Um, you know I’m waiting until I get married to have sex, right?” She was apprehensive and nervous to discuss this issue. “Well, I had hoped that we could do that tonight, Gabby. Why do you want to wait? I mean, everyone’s doing it, I think John and Lindsey have even done it. I have condoms. We love each other. It just seemed like the logical next step, taking our relationship to a new level. Don’t you want to, I mean we’ve done everything else?” The sentence rattled off so fast Gabby could barely think straight. Her head was spinning and she suddenly wasn’t feeling so great.

She reached out to pull a bar stool from the granite bar, climbing up with her head down. Her hands were trembling. She was so nervous, her appetite had suddenly disappeared.
How could she have been so naive?
It was obvious in looking back at their night from the moment he picked her up what his intentions had been.

“No, Ian. I don’t want to do that. I don’t care if everyone else is doing it. I don’t care if you have five hundred condoms. It’s not about that. Yes, I love you. But, I don’t need to do that to prove that to you, or do I,” she was trying to be calm and not run for the door to sprint home. “What’s your problem, Gabby? No, I guess you don’t have to do it to show me you love me. I just would think that if you
did
love me, you would want to share this with me. I want you. I have wanted you for the past three months and I have tried to wait until I could make it special for you. I thought you wanted me, too. But, well—clearly, you don’t.” He was sounding more and more defensive, almost agitated.

“Ian, it’s not you. It has nothing to do with you.” Gabby was trying to reassure him. “Oh, I think you’re wrong. It has everything to do with me.” Ian was growing angrier with each word that came out of Gabby’s mouth. Here he had thought of everything: Making sure they had the house to themselves, check. Making sure he had her favorite foods, check. Making sure the date was special, check. The one thing he had not planned on was for her to say no. He was so frustrated because he felt like he had been so patient.

“No. It doesn’t. You don’t understand. If this is the only thing you’re interested in, the only reason you brought me back here, then take me home. I’m not hungry, anymore.” Her voice quivered and black tears started to fall from the mascara she had put on her lashes before she had left home.

“Gabby, I’m sorry. Please at least stay and eat with me,” Ian pleaded.

Gabby sat quietly at the bar with her head down wiping her eyes. Ian didn’t say another word waiting for her reply, but he did reach over and grab a paper towel and hand it to her because he knew she was crying.

“Thank you,” her voice cracked. She cleared her throat, “Ahem, I will stay and eat, but then you need to take me home when we’re done eating.” Glancing up for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, she stared into his beautiful green eyes. Oh, she loved this boy. She hoped she had not just ruined everything. If she had not made the promise to her mother, she probably would have let Ian have all of her. But, that promise was far more sacred than any boy ever would be.

“Good. I really did want tonight to be special, Gabby. I got your favorites.” He handed her the takeout tray with a silver fork. “Thank you,” she smiled appreciatively. “So, are we good?” He took his food from the microwave and grabbing a fork, moved over to the stool next to hers to eat next to her.

She was playing with her food because her appetite really had never returned. She still felt like she could be sick at any minute. “I don’t know, Ian. Are we good, because, I’m not going to change my mind? If what we’ve been doing can’t be enough for you, then I need you to tell me now. I already love you so much, but if you don’t think it’s going to be enough, I’d rather be hurt right now than to stay with you and my feelings continue to strengthen. I can’t imagine losing you as it is.”

“It was stupid of me to assume that eventually you would come around, I guess. I love you, Gabby. I’ll wait. Eat your food.” He leaned over and kissed her gently on the cheek, much like she had teased him in the car. She blushed and suddenly any interaction between the two of them felt uncomfortable and awkward. She took a small bit of her food and thought about what to say next. She had no words. All she felt was awkward silence. The only person she didn’t mind sitting in silence with was her Sam.

“Ian?” She glanced over to him and put her fork down, “Gabs,” he replied playfully trying to recover their earlier mood. “I am really tired. It’s getting late. I really appreciate you going through all this trouble. But, I don’t feel well. Can I take this home and eat it when I feel better? Can you take me home, please?” She was fighting back the floodgate of tears she knew would come when she was back in her safe place. The realization that her safe place was away from him now made her even more remorseful.

“Yeah, I guess I should probably get you home. Would hate to break your curfew and worry Miss Emma.” She could hear the disappointment in his words. He sighed exasperated as he got up from the bar stool and started gathering their stuff and cleaning up the kitchen.

“Thank you, Ian. I do love you.” She closed the box and slid off the bar stool. He gave her a quick peck, “I know. Me too.” She stood puzzled. That was the first time she had ever told him and he had not said it back to her. She shook her thoughts and reassured herself.
You gave him an out and he didn’t take it. He does love you. Look at all the trouble he went through tonight for you. He’s just disappointed. You’ll both sleep on these emotions and everything will be fine tomorrow
. She slightly smiled as she continued to reassured herself.