Broken (4 page)

“You don’t believe me? That I’m different?”

I pull up in front of his house and don’t answer. The truth is, I don’t know if I believe him. Maybe it is true. Maybe he is changing.

He sits there thinking for a second. “Okay. Let’s test my theory. Arm wrestle me right now.”

“Arm wrestle you? What the hell is that going to prove?”

“You scared?”

“Yes, I’m terrified you’re going to break my arm when you turn into Wolverine.”

“Okay, if you’re not scared then do it.”

I sigh. “Where are we going to arm wrestle?”

He turns in his seat and puts his elbow on the cup holder next to him. “Right here.”

“Fine.” I turn and put my elbow down in front of his and we grip hands.

“On three?”

“Sure. One, two, thre— ”

Suddenly I feel it. His hand grips mine ferociously and he’s twisting my arm.

I haven’t really been trying, but now my arm is being forced down, so I put my strength into it. We lock in place, both of us straining.

“You’ve gotta be kidding,” I whisper. I know for a fact I’m much, much stronger than Aidan. Like I could break him in two. At least, I used to be able to.

After a little while I start to take control and slowly wear him down, and then I pin his arm. But sweat has sprung up on my forehead.

He opens the car door, then flexes again and says, “Do you think Adrianna would like me if I beat up Lancaster in front of her?”

I shake my head. “You’ve done enough fighting for now.”

“Or maybe I’m just getting started.” He smiles, winks, and then gets out of the car.

I watch him until goes inside, wondering whether his dad will be as happy about Aidan getting into a fight as Aidan seems to think he’ll be.

Two minutes later and I’m back home.

“Mom?” I call as I walk in, wondering where she’ll be now. When I left for school she was still in bed, planning on calling into work sick. She used to never miss work no matter how hung over she was but lately that seems to have changed. This is probably the third or fourth time she’s called in sick in the last two months.

I figure she’ll either be up and about with a big cup of black coffee, or on the sauce again, lying in front of the TV with her cigarettes and wine. Sure enough, when I get to the kitchen, there’s two empty bottles of wine, and a few glasses with lip smears on the sides and a bit of red residue left over. Those empty bottles weren’t out when I went to school this morning.

“Mom!” I yell, a little louder.

She’s not in the living room, which means she’s probably passed out in bed again.

Disgusting. But when I get to her bedroom, there’s no sign of her there, either.

And then it hits me.

She must have run out of booze and went somewhere to get more. Could be the liquor store, but just as likely she’s at Bud’s Grille. It’s a dive bar/restaurant that she could walk to from here. She used to drive there all the time until I gave her hell about it once and she agreed not to drink and drive anymore. Somehow she managed to stick to that one promise.

If I’m right and my mom’s actually at Bud’s, then she’s on some terrific bender. I haven’t seen one this bad in a long time.

I sigh and rub my eyes, suddenly exhausted. Part of me feels like I should just let her fend for herself, but I can’t do it. I can’t leave here in some bar, out of her mind drunk, especially with the kinds of predatory guys that frequent those places.

“Great. Another fun adventure for Cam,” I say, jangling the car keys in my hand.

As I’m leaving the house, I notice a car parked out front. Across the street, but still in front of my house. The car windows are tinted so I can’t see inside. But then the driver’s side door opens, and a girl steps out.

It’s Kaci. She’s wearing dark blue jeans, brown high-heeled boots, and a light cream-colored sweater.

“Hey,” I say, unable to keep the surprise out of my voice. “What’s going on?”

She smiles and shrugs. “I was just driving in the neighborhood and – okay, that’s a lie.” She puts her face in her hands momentarily and then laughs. “I just wanted to see you.”

I want to ask her how she knew I’d be home on a school day, and why she’s not back in school herself – she seems fine. But all that would just prolong the conversation, and I don’t want to get into it. “Right now isn’t really a great time,” I say, glancing back toward the house.

“I also wanted to apologize for last night.” She stands there and looks down, embarrassed. “I just, you know… I was hoping that it wasn’t too weird. Me kissing you, I mean. I hope we can get past it.”

“It’s fine.” I try to smile reassuringly.

“Because it would be nice if we could be friends, you know?”

“Yeah,” I say, feeling a little uncomfortable. Last night, after the golf course, I dropped Kaci off at her house. I wasn’t really planning on seeing her again, and I definitely wasn’t planning on becoming friends with her. I know things are weird with Natalia and me right now, but she’s still my girlfriend. “Listen, maybe we can talk when I get back.” I push the button on the key fob, unlocking my mom’s car.

“Back from where?”

“A bar.” I realize that sounds strange. It’s early morning. “Look, it’s just a bad time for me.”

“Why are you going to a bar?”

“I told you, I can’t get into it right now.”

“Cam, if something’s going on, you can tell me. I promise. I’m a good listener.”

I start feeling a little impatient. “Kaci, I appreciate you stopping by and all, but…you really don’t know me. And things are weird right now. I’ve got a lot to figure out and it’s messy.”

“You think I can’t handle it because I’m so young?” She walks toward me, sounding defensive.

“Fine,” I say, starting to lose my patience. “You want to know what’s going on?

I’ll tell you. My mother is a drunk, a total loser, and this very moment she’s at some bar getting even drunker. So I need to go and get her, pull her out of there by her hair if I have to.” I thought she’d be surprised and shocked by this revelation, but she just nods.

“I’m sorry,” she says.

“I have to go.” I turn to get in my car, but she puts her hand on my arm.

“Let me come with you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I say, shaking her off. “I’m not taking you to a bar.”

“Did Brody ever tell you about our dad?”

I stop and look at her. “He said your parents are divorced.”

“They are,” she says. “But he’s still our dad.” She laughs, but it’s a sad sound.

“I lost count of how many times my mom sent me and Brody to pull my dad out of a bar at two or three a.m. on a weeknight.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I had no idea.”

“I’m a big girl and I’ve seen a lot, Cam. Let me come with you.”

I sigh. Maybe it’s because I can tell that she’s not going to take no for an answer, or maybe it’s because I don’t want to waste any more time arguing with her, or maybe it’s because I just don’t want to be alone -- but for whatever reason, I nod.

On the ride to Bud’s Grille, the car is quiet. My knuckles are white on the wheel as I picture how awkward and possibly horrific this encounter is going to get. It all depends on just how stubborn my mom is going to be about leaving. Part of me actually hopes she’s not there, even though that would mean she could be anywhere and I’d have to go looking for her.

We pull up to the restaurant and I take a deep breath as I turn the car off. “You sure you want to come inside?”

Kaci looks me dead in the eye. “Yes.”

I think about fighting her, but again, I sense she’s not going to listen. “Fine,” I say, “But stay close to me and don’t talk to anyone.”

We head inside. The place is small, dim and depressing. At this time of day it’s nearly empty, so my mom isn’t very hard to spot. It doesn’t hurt that she’s also incredibly loud. She’s sitting at the bar, a plate of soggy-looking eggs in front of her.

The television on the wall is tuned to CNN, and my mom’s watching it and shaking her head. The bartender is looking at her with mild amusement as she holds court.

“These politicians nowadays are absolutely full of crap. All of them! I’d run for office tomorrow and do a better job than this idiot president we have now. I know how to make things happen. I know how to…to create…you know…” She takes a long drink from her glass. “Change.”

“Oh, I’m sure you do,” the bartender says, laughing.

A man is eating steak and potatoes while reading a newspaper down at the other end of the bar. He just shakes his head and flips his page.

My mom stabs her fork at her eggs and takes a bite, then starts talking again with her mouth full of food. “I’m a leader, I’m someone that people instinctually follow and they know…they know that I can lead them. That’s what I would bring to the table as president of the United States of America.”

“Jesus Christ,” I mutter. This is worse than usual. But I pull myself together and walk over to the bar.

“Now, let me tell you the first thing I’d do as president,” she’s saying.

“Already planning your acceptance speech?” I ask.

My mom turns and looks at me, her head seemingly unstable on her neck. It bobbles slightly. “Campbell! Honey!” She smiles almost lovingly, but the smell coming from her is enough to make me sick.

“Come on, Mom, time to go,” I say, trying to keep my tone light. “You’re drinking and it’s not even lunch time.”

“I’m having eggs,” she says, pretending to be shocked by my accusation.

I lean toward her glass. “That doesn’t smell like just O.J.”

She slides the glass away from me. “For your information, I’m having a mimosa.

It’s called brunch.” She looks at the bartender, as if to say, Can you believe these kids nowadays? They don’t even know what brunch is.

“Yeah, well, brunch is over,” I say, an edge creeping into my voice. “And it’s time to go.”

Kaci touches my arm lightly, probably trying to warn me to calm down so that things don’t escalate. But it doesn’t take much with my mom, and so it’s too late.

“How dare you come in here and embarrass me in front of my friends?” my mom slurs, standing up and wobbling toward me.

I glance up at the bartender, but he holds his hands up like this has nothing to do with him. He walks down toward the other end of the bar.

“Mom,” I say, “that guy isn’t your friend. He’s paid to serve you alcohol and talk to you.”

“His name is Peter,” mom says, “and he’s a great conversationalist, unlike some people I know.”

I’m about to really let her have it now. But Kaci pulls me back and leans in.

“Mrs. Elliot!” she gushes. “Oh my goodness, it’s so nice to see you!”

My mom looks at her blearily. “Do I know you?”

“I’m Brody’s sister, Kaci. Remember? We used to play at your house all the time when I was younger. You made the best chocolate cupcakes. What were they called?”

My mom’s face transforms as if she’s just been reunited with her long lost daughter. “Devil’s food cake!” she says. “Kaci! Of course I remember.” She leans forward and hugs her. “How are you, dear?”

“I’m good,” she says.

“And your family?” my mom asks. “How are they?”

“They’re doing well,” Kaci says. “Listen, I’d love to catch up with you about everything. But maybe we could do it back at your house? You could give me the recipe for those cupcakes if you still have it.”

“Of course,” my mom says, grabbing her purse and taking a last sip of her mimosa. “I was just about ready to leave anyway, but these people just won’t stop chattering away. Everyone wants to talk to me all the time and I’m too nice to just say enough is enough.”

I trail behind them as Kaci helps my mom out to the car and into the passenger seat. Kaci slides into the back and chats with my mother about absolute nonsense on the way home.

Midway through the drive, my mom starts slowing down. She starts yawning, and her eyes are drooping. Without any booze to fuel her, she’s fading fast, and the pauses in the conversation start growing longer and longer.

By the time we get into our driveway, my mom is moving in slow motion. Kaci and I help her inside, where she announces that she’s going to go upstairs and “spruce up.”

We both watch her navigate the steps slowly, and for a moment I wonder if she’s going to fall backwards and crack her skull on the stairs. But eventually she gets to the top and weaves her way down the hall and out of sight. A few seconds later the door to her room slams shut.

“Yeah, she’ll never come back down. That’s a wrap,” I say.

Kaci smiles at me. “I know how it is. Believe me.”

“How did you know what to say to get her to leave?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “Just good at reading people, I guess.”

We look at one another for a long time. There’s suddenly an electrical charge in the air and I’m not doing anything to break it. Next thing I know, Kaci’s leaning toward me. Just like last night.

Only this time, I kiss her back.

Chapter Five

Natalia

Cam’s not in study hall. I spend the whole morning completely keyed up, waiting to see him, but he never shows. As soon as the bell rings, and I know he’s not going to be there, my heart drops into my shoes and stays put for the rest of the morning.

At lunch, I take my place at my usual table with Adrianna and her friend Chelsey.

“So what happened?” Adrianna asks as soon as I set my tray down.

For a moment, I think she’s talking about the weekend, and my heart starts to beat fast. “What do you mean?”

“I mean this morning. With Cam. Everyone’s talking about it.” She takes a packet of ketchup and squirts it onto her veggie burger.

“They are?” I open my strawberry yogurt and stir it. It looks disgusting. I’m not hungry at all, but I force myself to take a spoonful.

Chelsey nods. “They’re saying he pretty much kicked Lancaster’s ass.”

“Wait.” I shake my head. “You mean Brody, right?”

“Brody kicked Lancaster’s ass?” Chelsey asks, confused. Then she shakes her head and leans forward over the table. She’s wearing bright red lipstick, and a tiny bit is on her front teeth. “No, Cam kicked Lancaster’s ass. You didn’t hear that they got into a fight?”