Broken (30 page)

Predictably, Vincent was rubbing down his
vehicle, but the exercise seemed more targeted to giving him a
chance to walk around with his shirt off than it did with cleaning
up the already immaculate truck. Based on the way the cheerleader
types by the garage were watching him, it was working.

I much preferred Brandon's jeans and tee
shirt, tight as it was, over the shorts and shirtless look, but
apparently I was in the minority.

I almost hyperventilated when Vincent
casually walked out of the house with a pair of beer kegs and tied
them down in the bed of his pickup. His house was more on the
fringes of town, but it was still in town. What if his parents came
home and saw them? For that matter, where had he been hiding them?
It wasn't even remotely possible that all of the people who were
going to be at the party were old enough to drink without getting
arrested.

Brandon looked at my white knuckles and
laughed. "Don't worry, nobody's going to make you drink, and we've
never been busted by the cops. We'll have you safely back home
sometime early tomorrow morning, and your mom will never have the
slightest idea you went to such a wild gathering."

As far as reassurance went, it was a pretty
lame attempt, but somehow it didn't sound so feeble when it was
Brandon saying it. I calmed down enough to marvel at the amount of
other baggage Vincent dragged out of the house, and then any chance
I might have had to back out vanished as Brandon picked me up and
deposited me on the tailgate of Vincent's truck.

"Riding in the back, isn't that illegal?"

The high-maintenance blond that Vincent was
helping up next to me rolled her eyes. "Please."

Brandon helped a couple of late arrivals into
the pickup, and then closed the tailgate. I half thought he was
going to ride up front in the crowded cab, but he instead cleared
the sides of the truck in a jump that was almost inhumanly
graceful. He crowded in, close enough I could feel my skin start to
tingle with anticipation, and then Vincent started the engine and
we were off.

In what was probably the only display of
maturity and common sense I'd ever seen out of Vincent, he didn't
tear off down the freeway at eighty miles per hour. He was still
going plenty fast, but at least the wind wasn't deafening. After a
few minutes of white-knuckled fear, I was finally able to relax a
little, and enjoy the feeling of having Brandon so close while the
wind tossed my hair back and forth.

The other girls were studiously ignoring me
while they gossiped back and forth about everyone from
underclassmen to teachers and other adults in the town. I didn't
want to join in the gossip, and Brandon was sprawled out on the
pickup bed with his eyes closed. I settled for contemplating the
glorious sunset's myriad colors.

We passed some kind of border into one of the
parks. Vincent slowed down a little more as I was busy taking in
the incredible pinks and purples that were dominating the western
sky. It was like someone had splashed glowing paint across a window
and then gone back and painted in picture-perfect clouds to
complete the scene.

I'd seen plenty of amazing sunsets back home,
but there was something about the rugged, almost hostile, skyline
here that gave this one a spectacular level of depth. Maybe mom was
right about the west after all. Sure it was hotter than Satan's
kitchen, and a dermatologist's worst nightmare, but the skylines
were amazing.

Brandon opened his eyes as I let out a sigh
of contentment. "Bored already? We're only halfway there."

As I opened my mouth to respond, Vincent
turned off the road onto a trail that hardly looked wide enough for
a Geo Metro let alone his monster truck.

I let out a yelp as we dropped down a small
hill and then started climbing up the other side of the gully with
a small bounce. Brandon chuckled at me, but shifted positions
enough to brace himself against the two beer kegs, and then reached
out and wrapped an arm around me. A couple of the girls who'd been
looking especially condescending over my surprise as we'd gone off
road, were now obviously disappointed. They were probably wishing
it was them instead of me cradled against Brandon's yummy chest. I
tried not to radiate too much contentment, but rather suspected I
failed.

Vincent wasn't really driving any faster than
before, but the fact that we were going up and down slopes I
wouldn't have thought could be driven, made his current speed
reckless. Even with Brandon's arm stopping me from flying out of
the pickup, I still had a couple of moments where my heart shot up
to the top of my throat. He of course remained frustratingly calm,
even when we hit a bump with enough force to nearly send everyone
flying out of the bed. The other girls were trying hard to appear
nonplussed. They were probably even fooling the boys, but they
weren't enjoying themselves.

I was nearly sick by the time the track we
were following leveled out, but there was just enough light left
for me to enjoy the last of the sunset as we finished up the last
ten minutes of the drive. As the final glimmers of color faded away
into twilight, Vincent pulled his truck over in a spray of dust,
and we were there.

I'd been expecting a lot of people. Even I
knew you couldn't finish off two kegs of beer with eight or nine
people, but this was crazy. There were already at least thirty
people here, and based on the clouds of dust I could now see coming
from where we'd just been, there were more people still on their
way.

Brandon nimbly jumped out of the truck bed,
and then helped me down to the ground as Vincent came back and
manhandled one of the kegs to the edge of the tailgate and tapped
it. My first kegger had just officially started.

Cassie showed up in a white pickup a few
minutes after the beer started flowing, and popped the panel
covering the bed, revealing an astounding row of speakers that
promptly started spewing an aggressive mix of drums, guitars and
synthesized notes that made Brandon's usual mixes sound like
Christmas carols.

In short order there was a roaring fire
going, despite the fact it wasn't really cold yet, and people
started congregating in groups to talk or dance depending on their
preference. Brandon seemed to be one of the former. Dragging along
behind him as he slowly worked his way through a third of the
school was extremely boring. I honestly couldn't think of a less
entertaining way to spend an evening, but I wasn't ready to join
the dancers. Most of them seemed to be rapidly losing key items of
clothing, and all of them were dancing so close it was hard to tell
where one person ended and the other began.

As Brandon handed me another cup of beer,
which I started slowly pouring out on the ground as soon as his
back was turned, the loneliness really started to hit me.

It would be bearable if I had a friend other
than Brandon. It might even be fun to sit back and laugh at some of
the antics making an appearance as people got more and more wasted.
Instead I was stone cold sober, and the next best thing to
completely friendless.

About the time Vincent tapped the second keg,
Brandon looked over at me and flashed a thoughtful smile. I
would've said nothing could've made up for the last two hours, but
it came remarkably close.

"I'm sorry, this isn't any fun for you is
it?"

My listless shrug earned me a chuckle. "Well
then, let's change stuff up a little. Care to dance?"

I almost said no, but as he pulled me in
towards him, I suddenly realized just how badly I wanted to touch
his incredibly hard chest and shoulders. Being wrapped in his arms
was so pleasant that I didn't even protest when he pulled me in
closer.

My whole body tingled where it touched him,
and his cologne, so faint as to be almost imperceptible, was like
nothing I'd ever smelled. Almost against my will I found myself
pressing up against him so I could drink in the scent.

The music was still way too loud, everyone
around us was still ridiculously drunk, but suddenly I couldn't
care less.

Someone tried to come up and talk to Brandon
as the next song started, but he waved them off, not even pulling
his eyes away from mine. I'd thought my heart couldn't race any
faster than it already was, but when he started moving his face
down closer to mine, it felt like it was going to tear itself free
from my chest.

It was happening. I'd fantasized about
kissing even back when I thought boys had cooties. I wasn't sure I
was any more ready than I'd been out in the parking lot, but I
could tell by the way he was moving that he wasn't going to abort
this time.

The tingling was even more intense now as I
brought my hand up and cupped the side of his face, and then our
lips met. It wasn't like I'd imagined. His lips were warm, and they
had the slightest hint of softness, but there was more urgency and
fierceness to the kiss than expected.

It wasn't as amazing as I'd fantasized, but I
was still having a hard time thinking. I tried to pull back and
catch my breath, but his arms had become steel cables that pulled
me in tighter.

Fear finally overcoming my desire not to look
stupid. I started to push away from Brandon. My efforts seemed
futile for several seconds, and then his right arm released me. He
wasn't letting me go though, his right hand had just repositioned
to my stomach while his left arm kept me pinned against him almost
as tightly as both hands had just a second before.

It should have been obvious what he had in
mind, but it wasn't until his hand was under my shirt and moving
upwards that my overloaded mind caught up with events. I tried to
protest, tried harder to push myself away from him, but he just
held onto me tighter than even before.

His hand was just millimeters away from its
target, and I was starting to see stars from lack of air, before I
finally remembered some of the tricks my dad had shown me.

I slammed my heel down on his left foot, and
then brought my knee upwards towards his crotch, only to hit
nothing but air as he spun me around.

"What the crap are you doing?" He wasn't even
limping. He seemed more surprised than angry.

"What was I doing? Maybe trying to convince
you to keep your hands to yourself, you think?"

As soon as the words came
out I started wishing I hadn't said them. This
was 
Brandon
.
Guys like him don't just drop out of the sky and decide they are
interested in chubby little nerds like me.

Brandon's expression hardened, and I suddenly
knew there was no going back. Maybe it would've been worth it to
let him grope me a little, but done was done.

People were starting to gather around us,
Brandon's closest friends, the ones he ate lunch with every day,
were all standing behind him, while everyone else filled out the
circle.

I looked around for some kind of support from
the other girls present, but couldn't find even one sympathetic
face. The next thing I knew I was on the ground with my ears
ringing and Cassie standing over me.

"...your stupid lies. If you repeat them
you'll be sorry. Every single person here will vouch for
Brandon."

A couple of people flinched a little at that,
like they weren't completely comfortable lying, but Cassie stared
them down. Nobody would meet my gaze.

I opened my mouth to protest, and Cassie
grabbed me by the front of my jacket and dragged me the better part
of twenty feet. My head was still spinning as she leaned down and
hissed into my ear.

"Get out of here. Don't wait around, don't
ask anyone for a ride. You had your chance and you blew it. He's
mine again, and if you're not out of sight in the next five minutes
I'll kill you myself and end this stupid experiment once and for
all."

I'd only heard that kind of blatant
willingness to kill once before, and just like with Jasmin, I was
absolutely convinced Cassie was serious. I wanted to get up, to do
something other than just lay shaking on the rocks, but my mind was
like an appliance with stripped gears. It was spinning but not
grabbing onto anything, so nothing was happening.

Cassie picked me up with one hand and gave me
a hard shove back towards the road. I almost fell. Considering just
how rugged the terrain was, it was a good thing I didn't, because I
probably would've broken my neck. It was still a near thing, but
once I was moving reflex kept me headed in the right direction.

Tears were flowing freely down my cheeks, and
my heart seemed to be missing every second beat, almost like a hole
had been torn in it and now it was a battle to continue beating,
when it just wanted to quit.

I did fall down when I hit the first slope.
There was just enough moonlight to confirm that the pain in my
hands and elbow was the result of having all of the skin abraded
away. I thought I was going to pass out, or maybe throw up, but I
couldn't cry any harder than I already was.

Part of me kept expecting Brandon to come
running towards me from the direction of the party. He'd apologize,
and explain how he'd wanted to stop Cassie, but he'd been too
stunned by what she was doing.

Even the delusional part of my brain that was
trying to come up with a way to be rescued couldn't seem to create
a plausible scenario from there on. The look he'd given me at the
end hadn't been that kind of shocked gaze.

Cassie's threat was too vivid. Instead of
curling up on the ground where I'd fallen, I pulled myself back up
and continued to stumble along in the direction I thought would
eventually get me back to the road.

The washed-out landscape seemed to mock me as
I realized just how alone I was. Rachel didn't like me anymore,
she'd never forgive me. I'd managed to alienate everyone from
Alec's group, and now Brandon had tossed me aside like so much
trash.