Broken (13 page)

He felt like a hideous ass. This wasn't her fault, she had as much say over her life as he had over his and he was treating her like she was a pariah. If he wasn't careful his treatment of her could also end up in a battle. She may be a pawn in her father's quest for power but Silas wouldn't stand idly by and watch her be mistreated.

"You're an exceptionally beautiful woman Anna," he answered honestly.

Her smile revealed her perfectly white teeth as color crept into her cheeks once more. "Thank you milord."

"Please, call me Atticus."

She rested her hand on his arm again and flirtatiously batted her lashes at him. Maybe they could conceive an heir within the first month and then go their separate ways. It was about as appealing a prospect to him as not being able to consume blood for a year, maybe even less so. He thought that consummating their marriage was something he might be able to get through if he knew there was freedom from this union on the other side. It was the amount of time it might take to produce an heir that worried him. A girl would be able to take his place on The Council if something were to happen to him, but it would be expected of him to produce a son in order to carry on his family name before he could separate from her.

He pulled away from her when she began to run her fingers up and down his arm. He couldn't even stand her touch, how was he supposed to create a child with her? He'd always known that this would one day come but that was before Genny became a part of his life. This life, which had never really been his own to begin with, was now completely consumed by a woman he couldn't have.

Genny said goodbye to Camille outside of the orphanage and made her way into the woods. After the events of yesterday she had prepared herself for the fact that Atticus had probably been called away somewhere and wouldn't be in the woods today. What had happened last night with Felix and Marie had been a stark reminder of the fact that there was rarely anything good in her life.

She winced as she slipped on the hill, her broken rib had healed during the night but it was still a little tender. Resting her hand on a tree, she paused to steady herself before continuing down the hill toward the clearing. She knew even before she arrived at the clearing that he wasn't there. That wasn't overly unusual though, sometimes he didn't join her until later in the afternoon.

She couldn't wait here for him, not today, she had to go to the human village in order to steal some money for Felix and even more for herself and Camille. Trying not to let her disappointment get the best of her, she hurried through the woods to the human settlement. She moved rapidly amongst the crowd, deftly plucking the purses of three men before stopping by Matilda's stand.

The older woman smiled at her as Genny slipped a small purse into her hand. "How are things Genny?" she inquired.

"They're very well, Matilda," she lied with ease. "I'll see you again soon."

She moved away from Matilda's stand and slid her hand into the cloak of a man passing by. Plucking his purse from where it was tied inside of his cloak, she surreptitiously slipped it into her pocket and continued down the crowded thoroughfare. Her heart felt exceptionally heavy today and it had nothing to do with the lingering effects of Felix's attack. She couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right as she disappeared into the woods again.

She slid soundlessly through the trees and over the moss covered rocks back toward the clearing. The knowledge that he was there filled her when she was still a few hundred feet away. He turned toward her as she climbed to the top of a boulder and looked down at him. Even if she hadn't been feeling as if her soul had been sucked from her body all day, the look on his face was enough to confirm that something wasn't right. Then he broke into a smile and true joy lit his eyes as his gaze ran over her. Her heart soared at the sight of that smile, it took everything she had not to leap off the boulder and fling herself into his arms despite the resigned set of his shoulders and seemingly sad demeanor.

She could have chalked up her dreary mood to the fact that she was going to tell him about Felix but she knew there was more to it as his smile slipped away and his mouth compressed. Genny resigned herself to the fact that whatever had transpired last night wasn't something that she was going to like.

"What is it?" she inquired. He shook his head as he strode purposely toward her. "Atticus…"

Before she could question him further he grabbed hold of her arms and pulled her against him. "Genny." He breathed her name with such reverence that her heart melted as his mouth descended upon hers. There was a wildness to him that she'd never encountered before, a desperation that touched something in her soul, something that told her that only she could ease what was wrong with him.

His hand encircled the back of her head, his fingers slid through her hair. The brush of his tongue over her lips caused energy to sizzle through her body as everything in her reacted to him. The hair on her arms stood on end, her toes curled and her mouth willingly parted to the questing exploration of his tongue. Her fingers curled into his back, his desperation became hers as she pulled at him, trying to get even closer.

The cumbersome layers of clothes that she'd always resented felt as trapping now as being buried alive. All she craved was to feel his skin. Instinctively she knew that she could calm this savagery within him if they could just be skin-to-skin, body to body. She hadn't even realized they were moving until she felt a tree pressing against her back and he braced his knee between her thighs.

Bark pressed into her back but she barely felt it as one of his hands bunched in the skirt of her tunic. Genny's mind spun from the overwhelming sensations crashing through her. They were entering waters she'd never even waded into before but she welcomed the sensation of drowning in this man.

Over the years she, Marie and Camille had moved too often for her to have developed more than a passing crush on a few boys, but Atticus was most certainly no boy, and he was far more than just a crush. No, he was an extremely powerful vampire that wanted her
,
that
needed
her, and she would do anything to ease that need.

He broke away from her. His body shuddered, his forehead fell to hers and his hand slowly untangled from her skirts. Her mind spun from the abrupt end of the kiss, her lips were still wet and tingling from the sensation of him. His hands clasped her face and his fingers stroked over her cheeks.

"I can't," he groaned against her mouth. "We can't. There's something I must tell you Genny."

"Atticus, what is wrong?"

"There is nothing in this world I want more than you," he murmured. "
Nothing
."

Her desire fizzled as rapidly as a fire doused in water. There was a reason he was so desperate today, a reason he seemed so unrestrained when he was always in control of himself. Her hands encircled his forearms; dread crept through her as she clung to him. "What happened last night?" she whispered.

His fingers slid over her cheeks again, he cradled her face as he kissed her tenderly. "I would do anything not to hurt you. It's the last thing in the world I want."

"Atticus, you're frightening me. Please tell me what is going on."

He took hold of her hand, stepped back from her and walked with her over to a rock. Stepping away, he waited for her to get settled on the rock before sitting beside her. His fingers slid comfortingly over the back of her hand as he enfolded it within both of his. She was convinced he was going to tell her that he would have to leave for another couple of weeks, maybe even months. It would break her heart but she would get through it, she'd gotten through worse things in her life.

"I'm to be married," he said flatly.

A non-existent hand shoved its way into her chest and ripped out her non-beating heart. Everything within her seemed to deflate; she would rather have endured a hundred of Felix's beatings than to ever hear those words come out of his mouth.

She didn't know what to say or do as she tried to process what he had just told her. All of the happiness she'd been experiencing over the past month faded as swiftly as a spirit disappearing into the night. She mentally reminded herself that there had never been any promises made between them. Never once had she pretended that she could become a part of his world, or he a part of hers. She'd just hoped for more time, more something…

For once in her life she'd allowed herself to be a foolish girl by letting herself forget that they were from two very different worlds and she was paying for her mistake now. Unable to look at him anymore, she focused on the tree line across from her as tears began to burn her eyes. She wouldn't cry in front of him.

"I see," she whispered.

"I didn't know this was coming…" he broke off and shook his head. "No. I knew it was coming, one day, but I'd hoped for more time. I didn't expect it to be so soon. We usually don't marry until we're at least a hundred and even that is considered young, but with The Council being newly created vampires are scrambling to try and secure more powerful alliances. My father and uncle are amongst those making their moves. Merle and I are being used as pawns to create a powerful alliance with the House of Salaze."

"I understand," she murmured.

"Look at me." She couldn't turn her head to look at him though; it was as frozen as her heart. Her jaw clenched when his fingers grasped hold of her chin, she thought about fighting against his urging fingertips but it was such a childish thing to do. Reluctantly she allowed him to turn her head. She realized immediately why she couldn't bear to look at him when her eyes latched onto his clover colored ones. Her deadened heart seemed to swell as love and sadness filled her. The tears she had been fighting against flooded her eyes but she rapidly blinked them away. "Don't cry. Please don't cry Genny."

"I can't… please let me go," she stammered out. Though anguish flickered across his handsome features, he released her chin instantly. She tugged gently on her hand until he freed it.

"I have no choice," he said flatly. "It would cause a huge rift between our families if I were to refuse this marriage. It could start a feud that could escalate toward war. There's actually relative peace amongst the nobles now, more lives could be lost if I refuse this match."

"I don't want that, at all," she said as she forced herself to meet his gaze again. She'd dealt with a lot of other awful things in her life; she was strong enough to deal with this. She'd never had her heart broken before but as an immortal it had only been a matter of time before it would have happened. There was no choice here; she had to let him go to be the powerful man that he was destined to become. "I've had a wonderful time with you. I've loved you in a way that I've never loved anyone before, but we both knew this would have to end eventually."

She was incredibly proud that her voice didn't waver and her tears didn't spill as she said the words. In fact, she'd sounded far more adult than she felt right now. It was all for the best anyway, her heart would only get broken even worse if they continued down this path. It would be easier to say goodbye on their own terms rather than in a month or two when it became absolutely necessary. She and Camille were still going to leave; he was still going to have to marry into the aristocracy. That had always been the plan and the plan had never changed.

"I only have to produce an heir, Genny."

She involuntarily winced at his words and recoiled when he went to touch her cheek. "Atticus…"

"It's not fair, I know, and I want better for you, so much better. I would like to give you everything you deserve Genny, a better home, security, protection. I want you to be with me. You
can
be with me. I would do anything to be able to offer you more right now but when this is done, when I've done my duty for my family, you
can
be my wife."

"Don't," she whispered. It all sounded so tempting. She could be with him; they could be together, but even as her heart soared at the prospect she knew it could never be. She'd sworn years ago that she would
never
be like Marie; that she would never be the other woman. The thought of him crawling from her bed and into another woman's made her queasy and tore at her heart. No matter how much she cared for him she could never endure that kind of life. "I love you more than I ever thought possible but I would only grow to hate myself if
I
was the other woman. I won't be my mother."

His mouth compressed into a fine line; his eyes longingly searched her face. He appeared torn but there was nothing she could do to ease his distress. It had been an amazing couple of months, she wouldn't trade them for the world, but this was where their path together ended. "If I produce an heir the relationship will be over."

"And that can sometimes take years to accomplish. Or what if she becomes pregnant right away but you have five girls? You could be married for the next hundred years before producing an heir."

His upper lip curled, his eyes turned red at the thought. "I don't
want
this!"

She felt no fear of him even though she sensed that what was happening was causing him to unravel. "I know," she assured him.

She didn't move her hand away when he took hold of it again, she wouldn't deny him the comfort he sought. His eyes turned back to their normal hue the minute their skin came in contact. A tear finally slid free and rolled down her cheek, a feeling of returning home stole through her as his hand wrapped around hers.

"I can't even stand to touch her," he admitted in a hoarse voice.

Her eyes closed, she bit into her bottom lip to suppress a moan as an invisible sword pierced through her heart. "You've touched her already?"

She hated herself for asking the question. The woman was his fiancé, he had every right to do what he wished with her, but the thought of it made her want to curl into a ball at the same time that she was hit with the compulsion to rip down every tree around her. The conflicting emotions tearing through her were unlike anything she'd ever experienced before.

His forehead rested against hers, his fingers slid over her cheeks again. The strands of his hair tickled against her face and smelled of the rain from this morning. "Only briefly," he murmured against her ear. A shiver ran down her spine as her body swayed involuntarily closer to his. She could almost pretend this conversation had never started, that they were back in the bubble they had created for themselves in these woods so many weeks ago. "She touched my arm but all I could think of was you."

He pressed her hand against his chest and flattened it there as he spoke. "The smell of you, the feel of you, the
taste
of you. It's everything I never knew I wanted in my life but now can't imagine living without."

Sorrow twisted in her belly, she was unable to stop herself from turning her head into the warmth of his lips. They brushed over hers before she pulled away from him. "I understand how you feel, I
truly
do, but we must stop."