Authors: S.J. West
“What guilt would you be adding to?” He
“It’s nothing,” I say, hoping against hope he won’t push the matter.
“Could you take me home so I can take a shower and change clothes? I feel dirty.”
Mason takes hold of the hand
that isn’t half covered with a cast and I suddenly find myself standing in my bedroom.
I look up at Mason and still see his question in his eyes. I quickly look away because I don’t want him to ask it again. I want to act like everything is all right and that
Chandler hadn’t almost been killed because of my feelings for Mason. But was I being selfish? Was I putting the other people in my life in danger because I wanted what might be my only chance to love someone?
Mason says and I hear the desperation in his voice, “look at me.”
I stare at his brown leather shoes instead. I don’t want to tell him what he wants to know because I know how much pain it will
inflict upon him. But, what if Chandler is right? Maybe I need to tell Mason so he can help me keep my friends and family safe from any other attacks.
Mason places his fingertips underneath my chin forcing me to look up at him.
“What are you trying to hide from me?” The question is so soft, full of concern for my welfare. It makes me hope he won’t take what I have to say as badly as I fear.
“If I tell you,” I say, “do you promise not to
Mason narrows his eyes
, obviously not understanding why I would ask for such a promise from him. “Tell me.”
I take a deep breath. “Baruch took me
because he wanted to hurt you.”
Mason’s body stiffens like I just stabbed him with my words
and I immediately want to take them back but know I can’t. There is no way to win in this situation. I can either try to hold onto the rest of the information and hope he doesn’t delve any further, or I can tell him everything and be completely honest.
“And why did he take
“He said since Lucifer told him he couldn’t harm me that he planned to harm everyone I cared about to make my life miserable.”
“Because you being miserable would in turn hurt me too,” Mason says, understanding the workings of Baruch’s sadistic mind.
, watching and waiting to see how Mason reacts to this news.
s his eyes and turns his back to me, walking a couple of feet away to put some distance between us.
“Mason, this wasn’t your fault,” I
tell him but know my words will be useless. I’ve come to realize Mason is built to harbor guilt and I know what I just told him has only added weight to his already overburdened heart.
“I’m sorry, Jess,” he says, his back still to me. “I’m sorry he tried to make you pay for my sins.” Mason turns to me and I see the curtain has returned behind his eyes, shielding his true feelings behind a mask. “I made a mistake thinking I could find happiness and keep it. You deserve a man who doesn’t have so many enemies in his life.”
I take a step forward. “Don’t do what I think you’re about to do,” I say. “Baruch is gone. He can’t hurt anyone anymore.”
“Can you honestly stand there and say that one of the other Watchers who still hate me won’t try to use you to get back at me? Do you want me to be the cause of you losing Lynn or Faison or George? You would come to hate me,” Mason says, the man behind the curtain peeks out and shows me the pain he feels at the mere thought of something like that happening to me. “You’ve lost too many people in your life as it is, Jess. It’s better to lose me now and keep those you love safe.
“But I love you,” I declare, not surprised by my words but surprised I had the courage to say them to Mason. “I love you and I think you love me.”
“It doesn’t matter what either of us feels,” he says, running one of his hands through his hair. “We can’t be together.”
“Don’t say that,” I
beg, my eyes burning with tears. “Do you think I go around telling people I love them everyday? You’re the only man I have ever or will ever say that to.”
I walk up to him and place my hand on his arm. “Please, Mason.
Fight for me.”
Mason looks at me and I see the pain in his eyes like it’s a permanent tattoo.
Without saying a word, he pulls away from me and walks over to the bay of windows in my room, staring out at the night.
I’m going to put Isaiah in charge of you from now on,” he tells me, keeping his voice neutral. “I’ll help when needed but I’ll stay in the background and only contact you when it’s necessary.”
“Mason,” I sob, letting my pent up tears flow freely now because I know what his next words will be to me
, and I can’t bear to hear them. Not from him.
over his shoulder at me like he’s taking a mental picture, and I know without a shadow of a doubt he never intends to see me again.
He phases away before I can say or do anything to change his mind.
Feeling cold to the bone like I’m in shock
, I lay down on my bed letting the reality of what has just happened sink into my heart. A series of pained sobs rack my body as I feel my heart implode inside my chest, never to be whole again. How could he just give up on us so easily? Maybe his love for me wasn’t strong enough to make him want to fight by my side. Perhaps the simple fact was that he just didn’t love me as much as I did him.
I hear a knock on my door
Wiping the tears from my face, I
rush to the front of my house thinking it has to be Mason. The dead weight inside my chest opens slightly hoping he’s come back to tell me he made a terrible mistake and that nothing on this Earth can make him stay away from me.
I yank the door open. M
y tears instantly stop.
It’s not Mason.
I look at the man before me. The golden glow of his aura surrounds him as he stands on my front porch looking just the same as he did fifteen years ago.
I hope you enjoyed this first book in The Watcher Chronicles series.
The second book in the series will be available in February 2013. If you are interested in further updates and an exact date of publication, please visit my blog at the following site: