Authors: Lacey Silks
I
hadn’t heard
anything from Jack in over twenty-six hours. I’d spent more time clearing out our rooms, sorting my and Chloe’s old school work and personal items into boxes, before I stepped into the reading room. This area of the house was special. Separate from our bedrooms, we had spent most of our time here. The bay window had built-in bookshelves all the way around and had been our favorite reading spot. Our father had the window seat extended so that there’d be enough room for both of us to relax and read. As I sorted out the closet, my hand caught on a box up on a shelf. I pulled it out and sat on the rug, cross-legged.
I forgot about this.
I opened the box, smiling. Inside were two braided wreaths. The clover blooms were dried up, and I was careful not to crush them when I lifted them out of the box. We’d made these from the spring flowers we’d picked by the forest in our back yard.
“I miss you, Chloe.”
I sat on the reading window, leaned against the pillows, and flipped Chloe’s old phone in my hand. I’d given Jack more time than necessary, even texted him three hours ago, but he never replied. With a heavy heart that someone else would see the terror my sister had gone through, I typed in the detective’s email and clicked send. Fifteen minutes later, I got a reply that they’d be issuing an arrest warrant as soon as possible.
My mom came into the room and wiped her tears away before entering.
“Mom, are you okay? I miss her too.”
“Yes, I’m fine. It’s not that, I… I’m just glad to have you back in our lives.”
“I’m sorry it took so long.”
“It’s understandable, sweetheart. Completely understandable. Come downstairs, Patricia. Sit with us in the family room.”
I followed her. The table was set with cookies, fruits, and appetizers. “Are you expecting someone?” I asked, just as the doorbell rang. I looked at my parents in question.
“We have a surprise for you. We’ve been waiting a long time to tell you this, and when you called that you were coming home, we weren’t sure how long you’d stay, and it just made sense to finally tell you in person.”
“You’re making me nervous,” I chuckled, feeling anxious.
“Nothing to be nervous about. Go on, open the door.” My mother motioned with her hand. I paced toward the front of the house, my parents following close behind me.
My heart was pounding in my chest, and when I opened the door I knew exactly why.
“Axel, what are you doing here?” I nearly jumped into his arms, embracing him tightly before crouching to hug Trevor.
“You’we hewe,” he mumbled happily into my ear.
“Yes, sweetheart. And so are you.” I kissed him on his cheek before standing up again.
“What is this? Why are you here?” he asked.
“What are you talking about? You knew I went home. How did you know where I lived? Axel, what’s wrong?”
His face was white, and if I had to define shock, I’d say that it was exactly what was happening to him.
“This is your home?” he asked.
I turned around to look at my parent’s confused faces.
Then my mother’s words came back to me:
We have a surprise for you.
Axel was my surprise? Did they get him to come here because I missed him so much? But how? My father knew a lot of people and could find anyone he wanted, but I hadn’t even given them Axel’s name.
Trevor pushed past me to get inside, and ran through the hallway. “Gwamma, Gwampa!” He jumped into their arms, and all the blood drained from my face as reality began setting in.
In the back of my mind, I knew exactly what was happening, but it was so difficult to put together and to make sense of, to believe that Fate would have brought me to the man my sister had had a child with, to be in love with the one man who should have hated me the most in the world, because I’d taken away his child’s mother…
“Oh, my God,” I whispered, and my knees softened on command.
“No, no, no.” He pulled his fingers through his hair. “You’re Trish Summers.”
I couldn’t reply. It was the name he knew me by, but it wasn’t my real last name – Dalton. I’d killed Axel’s girlfriend, wife, or whatever their relationship was. I was pretty sure they weren’t married because she would have certainly mentioned it.
Beth.
She knew. She’d urged me to tell Axel the truth as soon as possible, and I was going to, after the weekend, after I made up with my family first. He couldn’t come with me this weekend because he had plans. Apparently Axel’s plans had crossed with mine.
“Patricia, you two know each other?” my mother asked. I turned around. My heart was beating so hard, I thought I’d stop breathing.
Do we know each other?
It may have been an odd question to hear from my parents, but it was an honest one.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered, watching my father lift Trevor into his arms.
Trevor — my nephew.
Oh, my God! I had a nephew! He was Chloe’s son. My throat tightened and my gaze flew to Axel, who must have realized that I was Trevor’s aunt.
“Daddy, what’s wong?” Trevor asked.
George stepped into the hallway. I thought I saw him nearby, respectfully staying out of the way until he was needed, like now.
“Come on, Trevor. There are cookies with your name on them, and I’m sure you’re hungry.”
“Awe they dinosaur shape?” he asked.
“Always.” They disappeared into the kitchen, and my mother took a step closer to me. I stepped back. I couldn’t be smothered right now. This was too much to take in.
“Patricia, we lost touch…” My mother’s voice broke. “We wanted to tell you, but, well, you must admit that for the past five years, we haven’t really gotten a chance to talk, and this wasn’t something we wanted to tell you over the phone.”
My father took a hold of my mother and sat her on a hallway bench. “This isn’t a game of who blames who for lack of information. The important thing is that we’re all together now, and well, you two obviously are already acquainted—”
“—Don, you said Chloe’s sister left the family,” Axel whispered. He was sitting on a chair by the door, his elbows resting on his knees as he rummaged his fingers through his hair, rubbing them on his short beard from time to time.
“I did leave. As soon as I got the clearing from the doctors.”
“Well, obviously,” he said with sarcasm. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s just… this is a lot to take in right now. Why did you leave?”
“I… I…” How could I tell him that I’d been behind the wheel that night? Did he not realize it was me? Chloe was dead because of me, and I had her heart in my chest.
Oh, my God!
Did he know about the heart?
I gasped and drew my hand to my chest on instinct.
“Come on, Meg. Let’s give them some time to talk. We’ll be in the family room.” My father quietly led my mother back to the kitchen, from where I could hear Trevor’s quiet giggles and laughter.
Axels’ gaze remained fixed on me and my hand, realization slowly setting in.
“Your heart transplant… the donor…”
“Chloe,” I whispered. “I didn’t know either. My parents just told me.”
“Oh, my God.” He lowered his head to his hands once again. “That’s impossible.”
Axel’s voice was breaking. I never thought I’d see him so lost. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. I was afraid to take a step closer to him, but something in my chest forced me to move closer. It was a small step, but at least a forward one, not one in the other direction, to run away.
Chloe.
“Believe me, it feels like a dream to me too. I had no idea that you were the guy she was raving about that night.”
“That night?” he asked.
Oh, no!
I had to tell him. There was no way I could hide behind a fake name any longer, or any lies. I owed him the truth.
“The night of the accident. I was behind the wheel.”
“Trish…” He shot off the chair and came to my side, folding me into his arms. I welcomed his comforting strength and gripped his shirt into my hands. It felt so good to be held. Good and unbelievable. I counted the seconds until he realized that I’d killed Chloe and he’d let me go, but he didn’t.
Axel stroked my back up and down, pressing me harder into him, taking away all the trembles from my body. The tears were flowing like large marbles down my cheeks, soaking his shirt. I didn’t remember when I started crying. I pulled away, feeling empty and cold without his closeness. “I’m so sorry.”
“This isn’t your fault, Trish. It’s just… one huge coincidence,” he whispered.
Was it? As my heart began drumming harder in my chest, urging me to get closer to him again, to touch him, I was beginning to doubt whether it was a coincidence. Was it me or Chloe who wanted to be near Axel? Oh, my God! Was that love I’d been feeling for him mine, or was it her love, sealed under two dozen stitches in my chest, that was trying to reach him?
“Please, let me hold you. I need to hold you…” he begged
Me, or her?
I shook my head. It all made sense now. The reason why I was so attracted to him, why I’d felt this connection to a man I’d never met, and fell for him quicker than I should have — especially after swearing off men. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t do “us,” knowing that he loved the woman I killed, and that the love I felt within my chest wasn’t even my own.
Push him away, Trish. It’s the only way.
“I swerved. I had to. She died because of me.”
“It was an accident, Trish. I saw the reports. None of it was your fault.”
“I… I killed her.”
“Was that why you left your family?” he asked.
I nodded. It was part of the reason. I lived, and she died. It was time for me to pay.
“And you’ve been punishing yourself all these years?”
“Yes,” I whispered. I had yet to tell him about that night at the frat house, but could I? Had Chloe told him? No, she couldn’t have, because Axel would have strangled Jack at the gala. My body was trembling, and my head spun. All this time, I’d stayed away because I didn’t deserve to live. My heart beat harder, as if arguing against my logic. Axel caught me under my arm as my knees buckled and led me to the chair he was sitting on. His closeness heated my body and gave me the strength to look in his eyes. I pulled my hand away. His touch was too much. I couldn’t get used to it. At this point, there was no way to make us work. I’d lost him.
Of course I lost him.
“You weren’t at the funeral. They showed me pictures. Why?” I asked.
“I was away on business, and I didn’t find out until two weeks after the accident. I was worried when Chloe didn’t answer her phone, but she had a habit of leaving it uncharged. When I returned, I really started to panic when I couldn’t reach her. It took a while to find out where Chloe lived. She’d never given me her real last name, and now I believe it’s a thing you two have.” He let out a chuckle before shaking his head. “I should have seen the similarities between you two, but I didn’t. By the time I found Chloe’s family – your family – and they told me what happened, you were gone.”
“You didn’t ask for pictures of Chloe when she was young? You didn’t ask to see pictures of her sister?”
“Who asks for pictures of their dead girlfriend who was supposed to be his wife? I had other things to worry about, like raising a son on my own and making sure that he couldn’t feel my pain and my grief.”
“You were engaged?”
“Not yet, but about to be.” His eyes glistened over. He reached for me, but I coiled back. “I see it now. You look so much like her, Trish.”
“Is that why you wanted me? Because you saw Chloe in me?”
He stood up and growled in frustration. “No, that’s not what I meant. I didn’t realize how much of her is in you until now.”
“I… I need to leave.” I reached for my purse, but Axel grasped my hand, gently closing his fingers around it.
“Don’t run away from this, Trish. Please,” he begged. “For Trevor’s sake, at least.”
I gasped.
Trevor.
My tears started running again. “I just need time.”
“We both do, but we need to get through this together, not alone. Don’t run away again. I lost her so fast. I won’t lose you as well.”
He gently tugged at my hand and brought me to him again. It felt good, and right. It felt like I never wanted to be away from him, ever again.
“I promise we’ll get through this.” As I sat in his lap, he leaned his head against my chest, the way he always had, but it meant so much more right now. “I’m with you all the way in this, Trish.”
What did he mean by that?
“I will not allow you to blame yourself and leave us. There’s too much at stake, so if you have any feelings for me at all, and for Trevor, you will stay, and we’ll get through this together. What do you say?”
How could he be so sure? I didn’t have any strength to make sense of today’s surprise on my own, so I decided to follow Axel’s lead. He hadn’t given me a reason not to thus far.
“Let’s explain everything to your parents and to Trevor. Please?”
My heart squeezed when I heard my nephew’s name, and I knew I couldn’t just leave him. I loved him too much and so I nodded, pulling in my sniffles. It was the responsible thing to do. No more running. No more denying myself life and happiness. I owed it to Chloe to love Trevor as much as she had loved him, and prayed that she had nothing against Axel and me.
Hand in hand, we walked back to the family room. I sat down on the couch beside Axel. He never let go of my hand; in fact, he squeezed it tighter, encouraging me. We explained to my parents that we’d met in New York, and Chloe never came up in conversation. They sat there with their mouths open. I wasn’t sure whether my mom was crying because we were talking about her deceased daughter or because she was disappointed in me — I’d left them out of my life for so long, it could have all been avoided. Although I wasn’t sure whether I’d have had the nerve to hit on Chloe’s boyfriend if I’d never run away. And I knew that Axel wouldn’t have been ready either.
When my mom came over and hugged us both, I knew that she understood. In fact, she appeared deliriously happy.