Broken Dreams (31 page)

Sophie and Nick ran out the front door in haste and stumbled over one another. He helped Sophie to her feet. Again, she inhaled sharply from his touch. Nick was oblivious to her reaction because he was too busy looking around for Nate.

“Nate?” Nick yelled. “Nate? Show yourself!” No answer.

Sophie looked at him, and shook her head. “Let’s just go,” she said as she straightened her clothing.

“We can’t just leave him out here on his own!”

“Yes, we can. Let’s go.”

“No. He
is
a giant pain in the ass, but he’s part of our group. And we can’t just leave him. Henry said we have to stick together. He will be dinner for one of those freaks.” Sophie flinched at the word “freaks”.

“He’s far from being a part of our group! Now get in the bloody truck!” she demanded.

“No. We need to at least put forth an effort, Sophie.” She rolled her eyes and walked to the driver side of the truck and opened the door.

“Get in, or I’m leaving you, as well.”

“That’s just fucking great, Sophie! Would you do this to Elaina? Leave her for dead so you can get your claws back into Henry again?”

“No! Absolutely not!” She was pissed that he would imply she would do such a thing, even though she had already thought of it.

“What makes her any different? She’s a pain in your ass since she’s with
your
Henry.”

Sophie didn’t get into the truck, but slammed the door closed and stormed right up to Nick. “Fuck you,” she growled as she jammed her finger into his chest. “You have no idea what I am going through! She has no clue about who Henry really is. I do! We were each other’s first. And if he wasn’t forced to leave, we would still be together!” She was burning hot.

“Jealous?”

“Just get in the fucking truck right now, or you’ll have to hitch a ride with one of your undead pals!” She pointed just over Nick’s right shoulder. Nick looked behind him. There were three coming right for them.

“Shit!” Nick quickly headed to the passenger side. “Fuck!” He shouted when he saw Nate.

“Get in!”

“Nate is over here!”

“What?” Sophie ran over to the passenger side. There sat Nate, slumped over with his neck torn out. “Shit! He’s going to change! It must have just happened!” Sophie raised her gun.

“Wait!” Nick looked at him closer. The back of his head was in bits, decorating the side of the truck. “He’s true dead.”

“What? How?” She hoped playing stupid would be effective.

“Gunshot wound.” He pointed at the truck door. The moaning became louder. Sophie looked up, and shot each of the undeads right between the eyes. One by one, they dropped to the ground.

“Get in the truck!” Sophie sprinted over to the driver’s side.

Nick picked up Nate’s gun, which was held loosely in his hand. Then he pulled Nate’s lifeless body away from the truck, took off his pack, and dragged him over to the sidewalk. He stopped for a moment.

“Nick! Come on!”

“Give me a second!”

“We have to move!”

“I know!” Nick yelled. “God. You are such a tyrannical psychotic bitch,” he mumbled. He returned his attention to Nate’s body. “I’m sorry, Nate. You’re in a better place now. I’m sure you will have all the Armani you can handle.”

He threw on Nate’s pack and sprinted to the truck. No sooner had he gotten in then Sophie floored it, throwing him back into his seat.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Nick’s anger was boiling over.

“He’s true dead. Nothing would have changed that.”

“If it wasn’t for Nate...” He paused.

“I know. But, listen, he was a ticking time bomb.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“He was! He never followed orders!”

“This is not a goddamned military camp! When will you get that everyone is human?”

“
Not
everyone,” Sophie mumbled with burning anger.

“Fine. Not everyone. The undeads are no longer alive, but they were at one time! We are all in the same boat here.”

Sophie shook her head, feeling a little emotional. The tension was thick. They sat silent through the rest of the trip back to Henry’s apartment.

***

Even though the tears continued to run down his face, Henry didn’t turn away. He put his head in his hands and rubbed his temples. He was shattering. He looked lost, unsure, defeated, and destroyed.

“Henry, what is it?” I felt bad for what I had done. I had ended it with him, and I didn’t think I should have. I regretted my harsh words. While I was searching for some answers, interrogating him, all I had done was make him feel even more lost and even more depressed.

“There is just so much…” he croaked out.

“So much what?”

“Bullshit. It’s too much. I can’t believe I’m cracking. I’m fucking weak!” He slammed his fist on the counter.

“Henry, you aren’t a machine. How many times have I told you that? You are human. You are going to crack. Look at what’s going on around us. None of us have been able to keep it together. Every single one of us is all over the map with our emotions.”

“I have never cracked once! Not even when I was beaten an inch from true death.” He pounded his fist down on the bar. “Damn it!” he yelled. “I looked them in the face, blindfolded or not, while they beat the piss out of me. I never once showed an ounce of fear.”

He was so angry with himself. I grabbed him in hopes that I could comfort him. He turned into my shoulder. “Elaina…” he whispered. Good Lord, he was completely shitfaced. “Please take me back. I beg you. I can’t go on without you.” He rested his forehead on the center of my chest. A few sobs escaped him. “I can’t. I love you so much. I can’t…without you…”

“Shhh…I’m here, lover.” I whispered the same words to him that he said to me on many occasions. I wrapped my arms around him. I loved him so much. I just wished he would be truthful with me.

Henry looked up at me. He seemed to have pocketed his emotional state for the moment. “We have to get out of here.”

“Out of here? The kitchen?” I hoped he wasn’t implying that we should leave the area.

“No. As in out of this area. It’s killing me. I just need to go where I don’t know anyone. I have shot half the people in my building. Your family, my host family, strangers, children...” He paused.

I could see that he was reeling from all the blood that he thought was on his hands. Convincing Henry to stay would pose a major challenge. I still wanted and needed to see if anyone I knew or loved was still alive out there, even though my hopes were dwindling.

“Henry, this has to be happening everywhere. You said so yourself. You would run into the same situation. You know that!”

The slamming of the front door made us all jump. Instinctively, Henry pulled out his Sig and aimed it toward the door. I turned around, and there stood Sophie and Nick. Henry put his gun in the back of his pants. Someone forgot to lock the door after Sophie, Nick, and Nate left.

“Nick!” I ran to him, and we hugged each other. I was so glad to see my brother was back and safe.

“I’m fine, sis.” Henry and Claire slowly walked up to us.

“I think we should travel,” Sophie murmured as she touched Henry’s face. I glared at her, ignoring her statement.

“Where’s Nate?” Claire asked with suspicion, then it dawned on me that he wasn’t there.

Sophie cleared her throat. “True dead.” She was so cold about it. It was almost like it was as much of a big deal as misplacing an everyday item. Henry looked down at his feet and swallowed hard. “Are you alright, Henry?” She didn’t wait for a response. She dropped her pack, and pulled him into her.

“I’m struggling.” Sophie hugged him. I hated to see her show affection for him. It lit my fuse, igniting a white hot blaze. I don’t know why, but my jealousy was still lingering, even though he confessed his undying love to me over and over again.

“Wait!” Claire yelled. “Will one of you tell us what the hell happened to Nate?”

Sophie sighed. Claire and I looked at Nick for an explanation. “Sophie and I went into the blood bank to check for medical supplies.”

“So you were looting? Let’s just say what it really is, instead of beating around the bush,” Claire snipped. I was clueless as to why the idea of stealing still bothered her. It was necessary for survival. To be frank, I wasn’t a fan, either. It had been difficult to get used to.

“Yes. Looting.” He looked annoyed. “Anyway, Nate stayed behind to stand guard.”

“Why did you leave him? He wasn’t capable of taking care of himself!” I yelled.

Nick looked down at his feet. “I know. I didn’t feel right about it,” he mumbled.

“Then why did you do it?” I was growing angrier by the second. As shitty as Nate was acting, I still felt grateful to him. If it hadn’t been for him, I wouldn’t have my brother.

“I don’t know, okay! When we came back out, he was missing. We saw a few undeads roaming about. We went back to the truck, and he was sitting on the ground, leaning up against the truck with his throat torn out. He must have blown his brains out after he got bitten.”

“Wait… I’m confused,” chimed in Claire, with a solid platform of skepticism. “So he was bit, and then shot himself? How is that possible? Don’t they usually feast? And why wouldn’t he shoot the undeads before they got to him?”

“I don’t know,” Nick said. He sounded ashamed of himself. We looked back to get answers from Henry and Sophie, and they were no longer there. We all looked at one another.

“Where did they go?” I stormed down the hallway, yelling for Henry. Nick and Claire were hot on my heels.

Chapter 13

o you just left him to fend for himself?” Henry asked as he sat down on the edge of the vanity, crossing his arms.

“Yeah. I guess it didn’t work out for him.” Sophie shrugged, then grinned.

“UGH! Sophie! You have to be more careful. Someone could have seen you.”

“Who? There was no one around but undeads.”

Henry threw his arms up in the air. “Nick could have seen!”

“I had already sent him down the hall.”

“He didn’t see you go back out?”

“No. Once I heard the door swing shut, I waited a minute and hauled arse back outside. Then I took care of him.” She smirked.

“Good god, Sophie.”

“What? I needed to get my fix! I was feeling it. Oh, and I brought you a teensy gift.” Sophie pulled out a vial of blood from her cleavage and winked at Henry. “Sorry, it’s a bit chilled now, but not too bad. Drink up. This will help you perk up some. Lord knows all that bloody alcohol isn’t doing anything for you.”

Henry reached for the vial of blood. “Thanks. It’s not too cold. Refrigerated is the worst.” He popped open the vial and tipped it back like he was doing a shot of tequila. Then he recapped the vial and handed it back to her as he shuddered.

His eyes rolled in the back of his head. He relaxed a little. Between the alcohol and the donation, he was drifting off into la-la land. He wished he and Elaina were on good terms. He really wanted to lay down with her. Not for sex. He just wanted to hold her like he used to.

“You really need to be more careful.” Henry’s words were breathy. “We need to get out of here. There aren’t enough clean donors around here. We’re going to need more blood. Plus, we need to find Gunther so we can take him out.” His words ended in a growl.

“I know.”

“The trouble is going to be convincing the others.”

***

Once I realized they pulled their Houdini act again, I went looking for Henry and Sophie. I listened at the door and heard Henry say something about convincing the others. I whipped opened the door of the bathroom. Why everyone decided to have their private conversations in the bathroom was beyond me.

“Convince us of what?” Henry and Sophie looked at each other. I was pretty sure I startled them again. Obviously, they were up to something. Henry took a slow deep breath.

“To travel.” Sophie said. “We believe we should travel.”

She grinned. It made me want to throat punch her again. I was getting sick of that feeling.

In all honesty, I didn’t know what would be best for us as a group, but I wasn’t convinced that traveling would be the most excellent idea.

“Why? I think we would find this amount of devastation anywhere we would go.” I folded my arms in front of my chest, showing my protest. I put on my best “fuck you” smile.

“Not necessarily. Gunther may have secured a larger area than us. He probably has better help.”

“Really?” I was pissed. I thought I was doing a good job, considering I was the one who originally shot Jacob so he would let “Her Mental Highness” go. I thought, for the most part, we were all doing a fine job since we had nothing to compare it to.

“That’s not what she meant,” Henry snipped.

I glared at him. “Then what exactly did she mean, Henry? Why is getting to Gunther so important?” I was confused.

“He has the most experience…and some tools that are quite valuable,” Sophie purred. She was such a two-dollar-tramp at times.

I rolled my eyes and looked over at Henry. “Henry, I thought you were the be-all, end-all of this entire situation.”

“Henry is amazing, as you know.” And there it was again. I wish she would stop referring to my man in a sexual manner, or I was going to snap. She was doing it on purpose, and I was quite sick of it. “And he understands a lot of what’s going on, but Gunther just has that bit extra that Henry doesn’t.”

Could the conversation be any more implying? She really seemed to prefer Gunther’s tools and abilities over Henry’s, which was nothing I would be complaining about. He had kept me quite happy. I wondered how many of the recruits and trainers she willingly did the “horizontal tango” with.

“I just don’t get it.” I was really confused.

In all honesty, I wasn’t trying to be a hard ass at that moment but, from the beginning, I got the impression that Henry was the best of the best. I wanted to believe that. He had shown signs of weakness, but he was human. We would all crack, training or no training, under the pressure he had put on himself. I felt myself folding to the pressure to travel. I was chewing the inside of my cheek.

“Well, can Claire, Nick, and I discuss this in private?”

“If it makes you feel better.” I was getting sick of Sophie’s attitude.

“Yeah, it would, actually.” She seemed to forget I owned the attitude around there. She needed to pay me royalties if she wanted to borrow it, even for a moment.

“Any decision made should go through Henry.” She quirked a brow and rested her dagger-clawed hands on her hips. “After all, he is our leader.”

“Yeah, well, I think the three of us should discuss this alone for a minute to see if we’re all on the same page.”

“Ah, yes, there it is. The great divide. Suit yourself.” Sophie shrugged. She grabbed Henry by the hand and dragged him out of the bathroom, otherwise known as the “unofficial-official meeting zone”. She yelled for Nick and Claire to come into the bathroom.

Henry looked back at me with a pained expression on his face. I knew then that he truly felt he was losing me forever. I loved him with everything that I had, but I wasn’t sure where we were going in our relationship anymore.

Nick and Claire walked into the bathroom, and I slammed the door closed.

***

“Let’s discuss this quickly and quietly.” Nick and Claire nodded their heads. “Tell me what you think.”

I looked at Nick. “Well, I don’t know. One part of me says what do we have to lose, besides each other? The other part of me wants to stick around and make our way back to our families homes to see if there are any survivors.” I felt the same way.

I looked over at Claire for her opinion. “Elaina, whatever you decide, I will have your back one hundred percent. But let me just say that I think this is it, guys. I think this is all we have. Our other option is we stay, they go.” My body went rigid with fear. I was pretty sure that I couldn’t handle being away from Henry, regardless of our relationship status.

“Would they just leave us unable to protect ourselves, though?” Nick asked.

“I doubt that.” Claire pointed at me. “Henry loves her dearly. I don’t think he would leave her high and dry. Or leave her, period…even if they are, seemingly, on the outs right now.” Nick raised his eyebrow at me, and I looked down. “He’d probably drag her out kicking and screaming.” I wasn’t sure what to think anymore.

“Are you okay, Elaina?” Nick reached out and touched my arm. “Did you two break up?”

“I gave him back the ring.” I held up my left hand. His eyebrow jacked all the way up his forehead. “I can’t handle his lying anymore. And I know he’s hiding something.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest and clenched my teeth together so that I wouldn’t cry again.

“Wow. I don’t know what to say.” I think he was having trouble deciding whether he wanted to hug me or kick Henry’s ass.

“Me, neither.” It was killing me as much as it was killing Henry. A part of me thought that Henry would just stay there with me, and the other part of me feared that he would go off into the sunset with Sophie. I was torn.

“We need to decide,” I said. “What’s left here? If anything, we will eventually need to travel just to get supplies. I think we looted nearly every building here that we could get into, minus a few apartment buildings.”

“Right.” Nick tucked his hands in his pockets as he spoke. “Valid point. Let’s vote. Majority rules.” He was ready for a decision.

“Is this even a democracy anymore? I feel like King Henry and Queen Sophie are calling all the shots here, and we are the jesters that are providing them with entertainment.” Nick and I looked at Claire. This whole fucked up situation was even turning the most proper people into cynical, snarky bitches.

“Do we stay?” I asked. The three of us looked at each other. I could see that Nick and Claire were still working it through in their heads, much like I was.

“Travel?” There was a pregnant pause. Then we nodded at one another, and that was that. We were traveling.

We headed back out to the kitchen where Sophie and Henry were checking over the guns and stuffing the packs with necessities. Henry looked up when he saw the three of us coming down the hallway.

“Well?” he asked, with some apprehension in his voice. We locked eyes for a moment.

“We will travel.” Henry dropped the supplies that he was about to put in the pack and ran up to me. He reeked of booze.

“Really, love? I am so relieved. You have no idea how worried I was that you would want to stay.”

I wanted to be angry with him. I wanted to punch him. I wanted to kick him in the tomatoes, but my heart just wanted me to continue to love him.

I was so scared to lose him, but I was also scared that I would be leaving someone behind. I feared one of our family members was out there, hiding out, waiting for someone to rescue them.

“To be honest, I have mixed emotions about this, Henry. We want to stay, but we feel it is best for our survival to go. We feel like we have no choice in the matter.”

“Elaina…,” Henry whispered, “I understand. Sophie and I want what is best for the group.” Nick laughed, and Henry whipped his head around to glare at him. “For all of us. We are a family now.”

It was my turn to laugh, then rolled my eyes. “Yeah, right. I’m pretty sure she wants what is best for herself.” I thumbed over to Sophie.

“I thought you two were on good terms?” I looked over at Sophie. She was grinning. That grin aggravated me more and more every fucking time I saw it.

“I have mixed emotions about a lot of things,” I grumbled. He glanced at both of us.

“Right,” he said, softly. “Well, it’s getting late. We should all get some rest. We’ll finish packing up our supplies in the morning and then head out.” I looked at Claire and Nick, wondering if they were going to change their minds.

“Aye, aye, captain.” I saluted and turned around, heading for Henry’s bedroom.

I was halfway down the hall when I felt his cold hand grab my arm. I whipped around. “Can I help you?” He looked crushed, but I couldn’t help myself. I was still bitter and confused. I loved him, but my emotions were getting the best of me. I was pretty sure I wasn’t ready to be all kissy-kissy, lovey-dovey with him yet.

“I…uh…I just wanted to ask you something…” His anxiety was obvious.

“And what would that be?”

He looked down at his feet. I could see that he was unsure of himself. “Can I come back to our bedroom?” he whispered.

I took a deep breath. “I don’t know.” I could feel tears forming and my chin trembling. “I don’t know what to think. I know you’re hiding stuff from me. My heart wants to be with you, but I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around all of this.” I swallowed hard, trying to choke back my tears and that stupid lump in my throat.

“I understand why you feel that way. I wish I could give you more, but I can’t because I will lose you forever, and I cannot risk that. It will kill me if I do. You are my world.” He paused, while he wiped away his tears. “I will give you your space but, just so you know, I love you so much. So fucking much. I will always be there to protect you, whether you like it or not. And I will be waiting for you, should you decide to return to me.” Before I started bawling my eyes out, I turned away and left him standing there.

***

I was emotionally spent. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out. But, once again, I wasn’t asleep for long before I woke up from another vivid nightmare. I was drenched in sweat and was shaking all over. I looked over at Claire. Thankfully, I hadn’t disturbed her. She was nestled into Henry’s thick blanket, sleeping like a baby.

As I listened to her even breathing, I replayed my dream in my head. My mother was walking through the seedy part of downtown, where my apartment was, screaming my name. She was lost and looking for me. Her sobs felt so real to me that I could feel her pain. I grasped my chest. My heart ached for my mother.

I stood up and quietly put some clothes on. I looked out the window, and it didn’t look like it was going to be morning any time soon. I headed for the bedroom door. Claire rolled over when I turned the doorknob, but she didn’t wake.

The hallway was so dark. I was navigating it with my hands stretched out in front of me. I stopped briefly, with paranoid thoughts that an undead was going to jump out at me. Then I got to the second bedroom door. I wondered if Sophie and Henry had gotten together. I shuddered. I hoped they hadn’t. I was still possessive. He was still mine, and no one could have him except me. If she even thought about making a pass at him, I wouldn’t be responsible for my actions.

I gathered myself and felt my way down the hallway to the dining table. The packs were still on it. I searched one, finding a flashlight. Hoping Nick wouldn’t wake up, I turned it on. Henry’s keys were lying next to what I assumed was his pack. They all looked the same. Without thinking twice, I grabbed the pack and his keys, and left the apartment.

I was foolish not to check outside the door before I exited, but I wanted to get out of there and see if I could find my mother. I needed to find out if she was at her house. If she was, I could bring her back to Henry’s place and she could travel with us.

I could feel her. I missed her so much. Even if she had been a thorn in my side, she was still my mother and I loved her dearly.

I paused at the apartment building’s main entrance. I shined the light across the street. There were a few undeads roaming around. They looked like lost souls. I felt bad for them, but I couldn’t let my emotions get in the way again. Every time I did, I would freeze up. I needed to be alert.

I whispered to myself, “Breathe, Elaina.”