Broken God (8 page)

They smile, each one.

And they wake up, every time, screaming. Screaming and
screaming, wrapped up in my arms, my body still pressed to theirs, aching and
full and sated, and she would scream, as threads of possibilities spun out, all
around us.

And I would blink, my vision clear, and my power pulsing.

Del screaming was my constant, my inevitable, my always. I wish
I could give my girl everything without giving her the worst I had to offer.

She shakes, as I pull her into my arms, closer, and press a kiss
into her hair and brush it back, letting the barest curl of my power slide out
and wrap around her.

“It’s bright
,”
She-they-whisper. “There’s so
much
. Apollo,” she shudders, and shakes.

“
It
gets easier, love.” I murmur.

“Too much. Too much.” She repeats it, a long chant and then
screams and my grip tightens over her, holding her steady as she shudders and
screams, her eyes wide and sightless and staring.

She speaks, then.

They all speak.

I hold her close, and listen, and make sense of her words as my
chosen girl speaks the prophecy that will kill her, parsing out the golden
shining threads of future that will be true.

Speaking the endless possibilities and
speaking
the true one.

I hold her and whisper reassurance and wipe away her tears, and
I wish like hell there was any other way to do this. To remain sane without
driving my Del into the depths of madness.

My girl. My favorite, the girl I love more than any other.

And the one that I will use the worst, and break the most and
always, always, come back to, despite knowing that I am killing her.

Until I walked away, my gift intact, and forsook the Delphi.
Until I chose to leave them all behind because I couldn’t bear to kill another.

Chapter
11.

I wake with the
sun, with Iris wrapped around me in my bed. I don’t remember when we moved
here. Sometime after the second time we fucked,
but
before the third.

She fell asleep
after that, so I suppose it was good timing on our part.

The sun is creeping
up, a sure wash of power spilling over me, filling the apartment. I can feel it
like a wave, intoxicating and so fucking strong I could drown in it. For a
moment, as it fills the room, I stretch, let it linger there, the power of the
sun pushing against my skin like a lover’s kiss.

Del snarls softly,
bites my earlobe and I laugh, low and free, and let my defenses down, let my power
swell in, filling me until my skin tingles and glows and I am more gold
-
touched
-
god than I am man.

I shiver and I
whisper soft, a low Greek greeting to the Sun.

Power swells again,
and I smile, fondly.

Then I look at the
girl sleeping at my side.

I didn’t expect
this. This wild
,
laughing girl who smiled as she fucked me and moved over my body like worship.
Who grinned like there was some secret joke that only she knew, and if I was
very lucky she might share it with me.

I want to keep her
and I know that I can’t.

But I can fix the
things that break her. The brother who is dying that she would grieve. I press
a quick kiss to her forehead and carefully extract myself from her, leaving her
wrapped around a pillow, naked and lovely in my bed as I scoop Del up and
retreat to the kitchen.

I start coffee and
open a can of tuna for Del who watches me with disgusted impatience, too dignified
to twine around my ankles as I prepare her breakfast. I run a single finger
between her ears as I put her and the can on a different counter and she hisses
softly, but arches into my touch, and then dismisses me completely as she turns
to her food.

With one girl set,
I hum softly and turn to make food for the one in my bed.

I have a few eggs
and a little bit of rabbit that Artemis brought last time she visited, and a
few vegetables that aren’t rotten. And a sharp white cheddar. It’s enough, I
think, to make a quiche that she might enjoy.

Smiling, I set to
work, slicing and sautéing some onions with the rabbit and dicing a few
potatoes to add to the mix. Tomatoes and a few leaves of wilted spinach, then
I’m tossing it all in the pan with the onion and rabbit. The oven dings, this
ancient sound that tells me it’s starting too warm and I pause, pouring coffee
and sidestepping Del as she mews grumpily at my feet, before she begins to
groom herself.

Soon the quiche is
assembled and I slide it into the oven. My coffee is empty and I’m hungry, so I
slice a piece of bread and toast it, munching absently as I wander into the living
room where my phone was discarded.

Five calls from my
cousins and uncles, and two from Artemis.

And one text.

Come home, right now.

I frown. She
worries too much about me. It’s been increasingly annoying but right this
second—

My stomach plummets
and I throw my power out, wild and searching as my hand clenches on my phone
and the other on the deck of cards I’ve been ignoring for days.

There is nothing.

No threads of
possibilities.

No golden shining.

Nothing.

I feel the world
drop away and I sway.

And then I hear her
scream.

I call my sister.

The nice thing
about having a sister like Artie is that she is always there when I need
someone to talk me off a ledge, and now, more than ever, I need that.

"Where the
hell are you?" she asks, her voice sharp and furious.

"I needed some
space
,"
I answer. I kick
my legs at the edge of the building and she huffs as I ponder what it would do
if I jumped.

Logic kicks in:
Nothing. I am a god, the Sun god. It would probably annoy my ankles for a few
hours, and terrify the humans scurrying around, but in the long run, it would
do nothing to me.

Nothing ever has.

"You need to
get back here. The family is in fucking crisis, and--"

"I made a
mistake." I say, and she goes quiet. "I didn't mean to."

And I still have no
fucking clue
how
I did. I know how
my power works. Even lost in the depths of insanity, I know how my power works.
This isn't adding up.

"What do you
mean? What did you do?" She asks, her voice very still.

Like she's being
careful because she doesn't know where my head is and how her words will set me
off.

Dammit, this is
what I've reduced my sister to.

Handling me with
care and kid gloves.

The disgusting
thing. The part of all of this that keeps turning my stomach is that I know. I
know exactly what I've been like for centuries. I know how fucking crazy I've
been, and how much Artemis has been forced to care for me. I can look back and
my memories are crystal clear.

The way she watched
me with worry and disgust, exasperation and love and helplessness echoes
through the ages.

"Why did you
stay with me?" I ask, and she laughs, a sharp startled noise.

"What do you
mean?"

"I was crazy,
Artemis. I left Olympus. You didn't have to stay with me. You chose to. Why the
hell did you stay with someone who was such a liability
?"

"You're my
brother, Pollo. I'm not going to run just because you crazy. You have your
reasons for taking the gift from Delphi. And it's keeping us alive."

I go silent,
watching the sun rising.

Below me, I can
feel Iris, moving in the apartment, and her terror. I need to go to her.
Explain what she's feeling and what the hell has happened, even if the truth is
I don't actually know.

"Apollo, I
know you don't want to be here, but we need you. You know why."

Because I am mad and
I can See.

Something none of
the other gods can do. Prophecy and seeing into the future is my gift, my
right, my curse.

It's why my father
will summon me and deal with me despite walking away from the family and my
duties. Because he needs me.

"I'll be back
later today, Artie."

She makes a
satisfied sound in her throat, and then. "Are you well today?"

I laugh, and it
sounds hysterical even in my ears.

"Yes, sister.
I'm fucking wonderful.”

I hang up after I
promise again that I'll be back at the new Olympus soon, and for a few minutes
I stand there, basking in the sun and humming softly.

It doesn't last
long. Curiosity and my power is tugging at me, yanking me back to the girl I
left in my apartment.

After she woke up,
screaming, Iris had stumbled into the bathroom and thrown herself in the
shower, and refused to come out. Even when the water ran cold, she refused to
be budged and I couldn't bring myself to force her. So I finished the breakfast
that she wouldn't eat because I don't think any of my girls ate the day after I
fucked up their lives, and then I retreated to the roof.

I told myself it
was necessary.

But the simple
truth was that I'm a fucking coward.

I'll own that shit.

I murmur her name
as I step into the apartment. It smells like steam and the savory scent of eggs
and meat. Like wild flowers and the hint of sour fear that I can almost taste.
She's out of the shower, then.

I find Iris curled
on my bed, sitting cross-legged, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders as she
rocks back and forth, her eyes squeezed closed and her body shaking as she
whispers to herself.

"Iris," I
murmur, and she flinches. Her eyes clench closed even tighter.

Like if she closes
them hard enough, long enough, she will not see the shining threads of prophecy.

"What's
happening to me?"
she
asks, her voice hoarse.

She sounds like
she's been screaming for hours, and I know I'm not that far off in my
assessment.

"You..."
I hesitate and then, sigh. "I need you to open your eyes and look at me.

She shakes her head.
"Can't."

"Why,
sweetheart
?"
I ask softly, scooting closer to her.

"Bright.
You're so bright." She shudders. "All golden heat. Like looking at
the sun. Burn me up. Burn us all. You’ll burn us all." Her voice is going
faster, the words tripping over themselves. "Sun light Apollo it's burning
what the lights and threads why am I so hot I can’t stop make it stop, MAKE IT
STOP."

I catch her in my
arms and yank her close, into my arms, whispering soft nonsense into her hair
and humming as she screams and shakes.

This is what I
always hated. The fear and the shaking. The way they all fell apart, the way
the insanity slammed into them, ripping away the girl I knew and loved and
replacing it with a girl who looked the same, but
wasn't
.

I have always loved
Del.

I have always
wanted to protect her.

I have always hated
that my curse is what breaks her.

It's why I stopped
giving it to the girls. Why I took it from Del and never gave it to another,
why I left Olympus. That and the fact that my gift would be the reason my
family died and I
couldn’t
bear to make that prophecy come true.

But I didn't do
this. I didn't
mean to
create a new Oracle.

I never intended
this.

"Iris," I
murmur.

"So bright,
Pollo," she murmurs. She turns into me, and her head rubs against my
chest, canting back and pressing a kiss into my throat. "Warm, too."

I sigh, and I give
her what she wants. And if she keeps her eyes closed while I fuck her, I don't
blame.

I can't blame her.

After, I let a
trickle of power seep out of me and I send her to sleep. Because I can't allow
a new Oracle
to
sit
unattended. And I have to go back to new Olympus.

She slides under,
soundless and sweet, and for a long moment, I stare at her, sleeping curled on
her side in my bed, limbs tucked in, face soft and sweet in her sleep. Del
jumps onto the bed, and sits next to me, watching the girl in silent curiosity.

"Did you know
this would happen?" I ask.

She doesn't
respond, but I don't really expect her to. For all that I know the kitten is
more than the average house cat,
but
I don't expect it to start talking to me or
anything ridiculous like that.

Doesn't mean it
wouldn't be handy as fuck at the moment.

I watch as she pads
over to Iris, curling in a tight little ball, tucked into the curve of Iris's
body. She yawns once and then blinks at me, as if to say,
go
on then. I'll watch
her
and I smile my thanks at the kitten.

And then I leave.

New Olympus is
changing. I didn't expect it, but now--sane and rational and in the wonder of
hindsight--it makes sense. The gardens are blooming and I can smell the ripe
richness of new growth in the orchards.

The house itself is
feeling the effects of having the gods as houseguests. It already is changing,
taking on a more Grecian feel, the columns more familiar to a time so forgotten
it's a wonder that even we remember. I smile at it. I think the house would be
more comfortable on the banks of the Aegean than it would on the icy Pacific
northwest.

Still. It is
comforting, in a way that going home has not been in centuries, as I drive my
bike up the long drive, and park it in the shadow of the house.

New Olympus is an
apt name for it. Lightning cracks and I pause, tilting my head in
consideration.

Father is pissed,
although there could be any number of reasons for
why
. It could be as simple as that we are shoved together in this
house, and he is forced to deal with his brothers again.

Family is a messy
thing with us.

The door opens and
my sister steps out. She's wearing a long black dress with silver threaded
through
it
to shimmer as she
walks, her white blond hair all the paler for the dark color.

It's a long flowing
thing that slits to reveal her pale legs as she walks, and I know,
instinctively, that it's hunting garb. The kind of dress she can run for days
in without her movements being restricted, but were she to stumble into one of
her temples, she would still be revered as a goddess.