Broken Heart (Broken Heart #1) (3 page)

I felt relieved. I didn’t feel the rumble in my stomach or the urge to puke anymore. I slid up the wall of the stall and slowly opened the door, hoping to God no one was around to see me. I glanced around the bathroom, and no one was around. I walked over to the sink and looked in the mirror.

I was a hot mess. A damn hot mess. My mascara had run down my face leaving a black streak on my cheek, mimicking a football player’s black eye. My eyes were a glossy dark green surrounded

by tiny dark red lines. The grief behind my eyes burned more than the red, and I recognized this look. I choked back the tears as I stood in front of the mirror thinking about how I let myself down; how I let my mother down. I turned on the cold water rinsing my mouth with my hand. The sink jangled this time as the water tried to push itself out. I welcomed the cold water in my mouth as I gargled with the fragments of peanuts I was chewing on from the bar. I wiped my mouth with a paper towel, threw it in the garbage, and headed back to my room. 

I left the light on that night. No phantom, no monsters in the closet, and no monsters under my bed…not tonight…I looked over at the alarm clock. 1:15 AM. Happy birthday, Jenesis. I didn’t want to call. I didn’t want to get him mad. I wanted to think about the happy times going home for the holidays…sitting on the front porch with my mother and sipping on hot apple cider and savoring the fresh taste of warm pumpkin pie, but something in my gut just didn’t sit right with me, something seemed wrong, and I just didn’t know what.

CHAPTER  2 

I awoke with one eye squinting towards the window. The morning sun tried its best to push through the clouds. My body shivered as a cool breeze slid through the open window, blowing the venetian

blinds, making them push forward, clanking against the windowsill. I gently pulled the blanket over my legs as a cold chill crept up my spine, leaving tiny bumps against my skin. I didn’t want

to open my eyes. I couldn’t. I was exhausted and hung over with a pounding headache to match; and, to top it all off, I didn’t sleep a wink. The monster was in my room all night. I dreamt of flying

birthday cake splattering against the living room walls in my room, candles on fire, and clowns chasing me with wicked smiles. 

I slowly pushed myself to roll out of bed, rubbing my eyes and barely able to stand. As I glanced over near the door I noticed it was slightly open, and on the floor in between the door was a batch

of White Orchids. They were tightly wound with a baby blue ribbon and were nestled in between the door. 

“I knew it!” I mumbled under my breath. She didn’t call, but she sent me flowers. I desperately reached down to grab the flowers and set them on my bed. I couldn’t contain myself, and I tore

the card open attached to the flowers. It read, “Happy Birthday sweetheart! We love you and can’t wait to see you next week!” I was so excited to read that card, and the lump in my throat crawled

up slowly. I shed some tears of joy. White orchids were my favorite. When I was a little girl, my mother used to tell me how she ate small orchid tubers and mixed them in her salad with lots of

ranch dressing. She said white orchids represented love, luxury, beauty, and strength, and if she ate orchid tubers she would give birth to a baby girl. She told me that story every night for as long

as I could remember, and she would always say she wouldn’t eat the big tubers, because she didn’t want to have a boy.  She’d whisper in my ear, “You’re the perfect little girl, and my wish for you

is to find love because you’re already beautiful and strong, like your mommy.” I sat on top of my desk looking out of the window remembering her stories as we sat together wrapped in the throw

blanket I loved so much. I reached for that same throw blanket that lay on my chair near my desk and wrapped it around me tightly. My mother and I had the best relationship in the world. We were so close. We were inseparable. I could tell her anything and everything. We called each other every

day, twice a day, even. I couldn’t let a day pass without hearing her voice. It was so hard to leave her there with him. She was my everything, and I was hers.

The wind was blowing, and the leaves were plucked off the trees one by one. The colors of autumn presented themselves across the campus. My mother and I shared the same love for the harvest season. Pennsylvania was known for its incredible foliage. The trees boasted my favorite boxed

crayon colors, chestnut red, burnt orange, sepia brown, and sunglow yellow. We had always decorated the front of our house with pumpkins, small stacks of hay, and dried cornhusks.

Everything was set meticulously on the front porch and steps. We were the envy of the neighborhood. No other families had their house decorated like we did.

I continued to stare aimlessly out of the window when Vivian opened the door frantically as I sat on my desk. 

“Jen?” she said out of breath, her chest heaving in and out with a look of panic on her face.

“Vivian, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” My eyes were still squinting from my pounding headache as I held the orchids in my hands.

“Your cousins have been trying to call you.” Her eyes were somber, and her face was stressed.

“Really? It’s about time.” I giggled as I walked over to look at my cell phone.

“Jen…sit, sit down…please.” She slowly grabbed the white orchids from my hand and sat me on the edge of my bed. “Is your phone on?”

“No, I just turned it on. It was charging. What the hell is going on?” My pounding headache intensified as I started to get irritated.

“Wait here,” she said as she walked out of the room.

“Vivian, where are you going?” I asked, confused, as my stomach began to cringe. As she walked out two state troopers walked in.

“Miss, Miss Jenesis Heart?”

Immediately my heart plunged into my belly, and my body tensed. I turned away from them and held on tightly to the back of my desk chair. A visit from state troopers meant something was

wrong. At least in my experiences. They were always at our door when my father was arrested for disorderly conduct.  

The state trooper’s eyes were filled with sorrow. I felt the pain in my heart immediately.

“No! No! Don’t tell me, please…don’t tell me!” I shouted as tears flooded my eyes. 

“Miss, please…sit,” the officer said politely as he held me by my elbow and hand and sat me in the chair.

“Is it my father?” My voice quivered as the tears streamed down my face.

“Yes.”

“Where’s my mother? Is she okay?” I muttered as my hands covered my mouth. I shut my eyes tightly, while twisting the bottom of my sweatshirt.

“Miss, I’m sorry. Your father and mother were in a car accident. Apparently, he was drunk. I’m sorry. But, they are both...” he said empathetically.

“Don’t say it! Are you crazy? My mother’s not dead! He’s dead, right?

Viv, right, he’s dead! Not her! No! Not her!” I screamed as I pushed him out of the way with all of my might. All of my insides stiffened; my heart was crumbling, and I felt a sense of recklessness coming on as the room began to spin. The state troopers grabbed a hold of me before I fell face

down on the floor. The pain in my shattered heart was too much to bear, and the last thing I remembered was closing my eyes as I screamed.

I don’t know how long I was out for but as I began to regain consciousness, I could hear Vivian’s voice saying,

“Place her on the bed. She’ll be all right, please, oh my God,” she whimpered.

“We have to call an ambulance, Miss, please.” I could hear the panic in his voice. 

“No, no, please, I’ll take care of her, her cousins are on their way, please,” she pleaded with them.

I opened my eyes, and everything was a blur. The state trooper’s hovering over me, and Vivian is placing cold water on my head with a paper towel made me panic. I looked up at Vivian with my eyes wide open, in shock, confused, and then I realized I was having a panic attack! My heart

pounded ferociously against my chest. I couldn’t breathe. The pain in my heart was so intense it actually hurt, really hurt. I flailed my arms in the air as I pushed Vivian out of the way to try to

stand up to catch my breath. I stood in the middle of the room, dazed and confused. Vivian walked towards me and placed her arms around my shoulders. 

“Jen, you have to calm down or they’re going to take you away,” she whispered as she embraced me. 

I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. How could they be dead? I would never see my parents again? I felt like someone tore my heart out of my body with their bare hands. My stomach was in knots, twisting and turning. I stared at the police officers as they stood still in the middle of the

room. A deafening silence consumed the room, and the air was tight with despair. I had to compose myself before they took me to the loony bin. The inside of my body was shaking uncontrollably,

and I just kept staring at the troopers, not knowing what to do next. He did it this time, I said to myself.

My father. His drinking finally had a consequence, and my poor mother would pay the price. He killed her; he really killed her.

“Are you okay?” The officer asked as he approached me.

“Yes. I’m sorry, I just can’t believe it…are you sure it’s them? You could’ve made a mistake…please, what happened to them?” I wiped my tears with my trembling hands.

“I’m sorry…it’s been confirmed. Your number was on the phone ready to be dialed…at least that’s what the EMS worker said when they arrived and pried the cell phone from your mother’s hand. She had to be pulled from the vehicle.”

“Wait… pulled?” A stabbing pain shot through my heart and soul. My body felt numb.

“Yes, she was crushed against a pole. Look…I’m sorry…Let me get the sheriff’s department on the phone so they can tell you more. Hold on,” he said as he grabbed his cell phone out of his uniform pocket and dialed the number. 

“Hello. Yeah, Ed…yeah, put Smith on the phone, please. Hold on. Here you go, Miss,” he said as he handed me the cell phone.

“Hello?” I whispered apprehensively. I listened as my heart thrashed against my chest. My breathing was deep as I lowered the phone away from my ear. I felt like I was moving in slow motion. I handed the trooper his cell phone. I toppled over, holding my stomach, trying to fight

the incredible urge to vomit while I gagged continuously without end. Vivian grabbed me and led me to the garbage can.

The Sheriff’s department told me they crashed into a utility pole on the service road around nine-thirty last night. My birthday. Apparently they were on their way to the gas station, but knowing

my father, it was a pit stop for booze. I was dancing, living it up at a bar, while my mother was crashing head first into a utility pole…she was getting ready to call ME…to wish me a happy birthday! Oh My God!

“Thank you,” Vivian said as her voice trembled, the tears rolling down her cheeks like a river. She stopped for a moment. She looked pale and a little disoriented.

“Vivian? Are you okay?” I grabbed her hand.

“I’m okay…” she whispered.

I walked over to the bed, grabbed my cell phone, and looked over the missed calls. My aunt Stephanie from Brodheadsville called at ten-thirty, and as I scrolled down at nine twenty-seven it read Mom. I dropped the phone on the floor, and Vivian ran to my side to pick it up. I keeled over

and threw up on the floor as Vivian rubbed my back gently, trying her best to comfort me. I didn’t know how or where to start picking up the shattered pieces of my heart, of my life. I stared at

Vivian as she held her hand over her mouth and began to sob, loudly. One of the troopers grabbed a towel that hung from the back of my door and placed it over the contents on the floor.

“Miss, someone has to identify them and…” he said patiently but was interrupted.

“I can’t! Don’t you get it, I just can’t!” I yelled “please,” I whispered softly, catching a glimpse of their faces as my swollen eyes flooded with tears, the pain in my heart crushing my chest. I wanted to scream, scream as loud as I could. I couldn’t breathe, and I held my stomach as I sat on the bed.

“Jen, come here.” Vivian grabbed me and sat me on the chair.

“Her aunt and cousins are downstairs. We’ll go. Jenesis, we’ll go for you.

I’ll call Danny to come and stay with you, okay?” Vivian said reassuringly.

“No, no, don’t leave me Vivian, please, stay with me” I yelled as I held my stomach with my hand. Vivian stepped back. She ran her fingers through her hair, uncertain of what she should do next. 

“I’ll be back in a couple of hours, I love you. Everything is going to be okay,” she said as she looked at me with agony in her eyes. Vivian led the way as the troopers followed. One of them stopped and walked over to me.

“I really am sorry. I know how you feel…my parents died tragically like yours, too.” He lifted my chin with his hand, and my eyes met his. He caught me off guard, and I grabbed his arms, and then placed my head against his chest.

“You’re going to get through this,” he said. I lifted my head up slowly and stared at his sincere, dark brown eyes. He smiled a sorrowful smile, but his eyes told a different story. They were tormented and pained, like mine. I think he was more devastated for me than I was at that moment.

It must have triggered a heart-wrenching memory for him. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held me tightly. 

“You’re going to be fine, trust me,” he whispered, then turned around and walked out of the room.

I stood there for a moment, speechless, staring at the door that shut behind him. I thought about how my life had changed without warning, within a moment’s notice, without sympathy, without remorse. How she was taken away from me in that moment on this day. I sat on the corner of my

bed alone in my room. The immeasurable pain that stabbed my heart repeatedly and over seemed endless, and I kept trying to catch my breath, but I was drowning in my own tears. I closed my

eyes, curled up on the bed, and rocked back and forth, not knowing where to turn or what to do. The door opened slowly, and as I glanced over at the door, Danny walked in hurriedly.

“Jen, come here! Oh my God! Jen,” he said as he ran to me and grabbed me and held me tight around my neck.

“Oh My God, Danny! What am I going to do? What am I going to do without her?” I cried, grabbing him hard around his neck and burying my face in his shoulder. My God, how did this happen? Why did this happen?

Danny placed his arm around me as we sat on the bed.