Broken Song (15 page)

The thirteen days were nerve wracking.  I checked the hospitals and morgues daily with Jane.  I felt so useless and my heart was aching, how can I have this big hole in my heart where Penny should be?  I only knew her for such a short time.

Crystal actually yelled at me when I said I was useless in trying to find Penny, Jane agreed with her. Crystal pointed out that I obviously knew Penny better than anyone else, that I had managed to track her stops through the day that she disappeared because of it, when nobody else could.  She made me acknowledge it. Then she softened and told me how proud she was of me and how smart I was to be able to figure things out like that.  Gawd her hugs are warm!

Between working at the Duck Boats, helping out at the shelters, and visiting the children in the hospitals, Crystal and Jane helped me with all the super-confusing IRS and other required paperwork to set up my non-profit foundation.  I mean, what is a fiscal year and calendar year?  Isn't there like only one kind of year?  I wanted to do this more than ever since it is what Penny wanted me to do in her letter.

They would never just give me the answers.  They helped me look it all up and find the right answers.  And the math... the girls made me do it myself but checked all my work.  At times they would ask, how did Penny teach you?  Then they would have me apply the numbers to my people on the street and was able to work things through faster.  I basked in the looks of pride they had for me.

I filed the papers a few days back.  Now it was just waiting to see if it got approved.  I wish I could ask daddy to release some of the funds so I could do stuff right away if I get approved, but I want to do it all myself.  Prove to him I can do it, make him proud of me.

Reese Qualls called.  She said Crystal had shared with her what I was doing and she pledged to do the website and the online donation payment system pro-bono if I got the foundation.  Reese is so super-smart with programming and junk and she can do so many cool things with her wheelchair.

I kept in touch with Missy and Steven and filled the twins in on the plan that they had eagerly agreed to.  The girls told me I was a genius and I almost cried.  I talk to them every day.  They call just to chat about anything and everything.  I can't believe how spectacularly wonderful they are, I hope one day I can have children as perfect as them.  Penny did good!

To my surprise, Missy called frequently as well, and we hung out from time to time.  I was getting the impression that she didn't have many true friends except Mia Jacobs.  I met Mia before, back when Bobbie Valentine went missing on the mountain years back, and she was a super sweet woman, but I think it comes down to Missy not being willing to put herself out there and possibly getting hurt coupled with people not being willing to break through her abusive facade.  Yesterday she excitedly told me that she had talked Victor into the plan and it was happening tomorrow, that was the happiest news ever!

We set up a big party for tomorrow night to celebrate, Missy says she might be able to get Mia to come.  Bobbie and Blake said they could come and that Kimi and Skylar were already in town for Thanksgiving next week, and they would be at the party too.  I only wish Penny could be here for it, this was all for her.  I spent most of those days dwelling over how her lips on mine made my body warm and tingly.

I had been on autopilot since Penny left, even Yvette and Leo were asking me if I was OK.  I had been all business, doubling my efforts to make sure all my people on the streets were OK and my children in the hospitals were too.  The holiday season was hard on everyone and it was about to begin.

Ralph told me to relax and let him take care of things that he was getting worried about how intense I was getting.  I told him I was fine.  I'm a liar, how can I be fine if I'm walking around without a heart?

I shook myself out of my thoughts as I pulled up to St. Vincent's, it was their turn again today, I hit King County General yesterday.  I looked at my fuzzy companions, looking all businesslike in their working dog bibs.  You will never see a prettier group of boys and girls than my dogs, or more dedicated.  They have the magic ability to bring a smile to your face even in the saddest of times.  I love them so much.

I went past the unmanned nurses station and into the cancer ward and unclipped the puppies and whispered, “Fang, announce!”  And he warbled out his mini howl to the giggling of the kids.

I almost giggled hearing Ranee squealing, “Monster is here!”

She came bolting out from her curtain with a look of excitement, followed by her her parents.  A new boy looked out from his curtain with a look of curiosity on his face.  I winked at him then smiled at Ranee as I said, “Shell game.”  It was always fun watching my dogs try to mix themselves up.

I looked at Renee with an eyebrow raised.  She cutely hugged herself then pointed and said, “That's  Monster!”

I giggled. “Of course that is.  Go get her Monster!”  My handsome boy obediently ran up to her and I smiled as she scooped him up giggling and shuffled back into her area with her smiling parents.

I looked at the new boy.  “Hello, I'm Sandra.  What's your name?”

He looked at me as an older gentleman popped his head out from behind the newcomers curtain.  The boy said, “Francis.”

I smiled again. “Hello Francis.  Would you like to play with one of my dogs for a while?”  He nodded shyly and I said, “Petunia, go get him!”  And my shy little one ran to him and he scooped her up and nuzzled her then smiled shyly again at me.  The man smiled sadly and nodded at me and ushered his son back into his area.

I heard a weak voice.  “Is... is Fang here?”  I moved over to Emily's area and walked in.  Her mother was sitting beside her holding her hand.  We nodded at each other.  Emily looked so weak and frail, her eyes were heavily lidded.  Probably the pain meds.

I walked up to her and stroked her cheek gently.  “He's been excited about seeing you for three days.  I couldn't keep him away from his secret crush for anything.”  I looked down at my dogs, “Isn't that right?  Fang, announce.”  My other handsome boy sat and howled to more giggles from the other curtains.  I gently set him on Emily's chest.  “Fang, cuddle.”  He cuddled right in and she smiled sleepily and started slowly stroking his soft fur.

She got a sleepy smile on her face and looked over at her mother.  “I think we're dating mom.”

To her credit, Mrs. Swanson just smiled and said, “You could have done worse baby doll.”  We all giggled.

I kissed Emily on her cheek and grabbed and squeezed her mother's hand and moved on to the next. Tracy was in the room now and looking concerned as I reached for Ted's curtain saying, “Knock, knock.”  But nurse Tracy put her hand on mine and stopped me from opening it.  I looked over at her and she had pain in her eyes.  I covered my mouth. 
No!  Not again.  I'm losing everyone.
  I know to expect it here but it hurts too much sometimes.  They are only children, this is not supposed to happen to kids.  I sobbed silently for a second.  She handed me a tissue and I dried my eyes.

I took a deep cleansing breath, I couldn't let the children see me like this.  I have to be strong for them.  I straightened my shoulders and put on a practiced smile and nodded at her and moved on as she put a hand on my shoulder and gave it a little squeeze.

I went into Yvette's curtain  and said, “Knock knock.”  She looked tired and strained and her breathing was labored.  Colette was asleep in the chair beside her.   Yvette looked over at her and smiled then waved me in like we were doing spy stuff.  She grinned down at my last soldier.  “Is that Tulip I spy down there?”

I giggled and lifted Tulip to her.  “Tulip, snuggle.”  And I giggled as the frail girl giggled too as she snuggled in beside her.  Then she stopped and tilted her head.  She must be all guru-y again or sumpin because she held an arm out to me, beckoning me.  “Oh Sandra.”  I hugged her tight and tried not to cry.  She just said,  “He's at peace now, the pain is gone.  Don't be sad.”  She held me at arm's length.  “He loved you and your visits with the furry tail waggers, you brought a smile to his face when he was feeling the weight of the world on him.  That is a miraculous thing.”  Then she hugged me again.

Colette stirred and saw me and smiled and held a hand out to me, I just hugged her instead of taking her hand.  Everyone needs a hug sometimes.  Then I looked between them. “I'm going to go visit with the ones who didn't get a fuzzy heat monger today.”  They nodded and I made my rounds with Tracy in tow for moral support.  The sorrow of losing Ted occupied my mind.

I moved on to the recovery and burn wards and relaxed a little, all of my children here will live.  I concentrated on that as I visited and played and then did a terrible round of singing before it was time to go collect the furballs.

As we headed for the doors with them clipped to their leashes I said loudly, “Announce!”  And the ward was filled with the super cute howling of my children and my furry babies.  I giggled and that gave me a little release of the tension as we made our way back out to the car.

Once I got home and grabbed the mail and said hi to Daisy, I sat and cried.  I cried over Ted and every child I have watched wither away before my eyes and die since I started doing this.  Ninety seven innocent children. I know every name, every birthday, every date of death.  But I also remember every smile, every giggle, every time I could make them forget about their damned disease.  Sorry for cussing, but that's how I feel.  It is those good moments that I can provide that stop me from breaking, and keep me coming back so I can provide happiness to my other children.  I felt so alone, even surrounded by my loving animals.  I must have cried for an hour.

I finally straightened myself up and cleaned up.  There is still so much good I can do.  I concentrated on that and the phone rang.  Hmm... A blocked number.  “Hello?”

The voice on the other end of the line was strong and as musical as Penny's voice.  It was so full of surety and purpose. “Hello, may I speak with... a Sandra Callahan please?”

I recognized the voice and I was rewinding my mind and comparing it to every person I have ever met.  I never forgot a voice, who was this?  Unless it is someone I haven't met, I went through all the news articles and videos of people I have seen that I don't know.  Then I said, excitement tinging my voice, “Mandy Fay Harris!”

The line was quiet for a couple seconds then she spoke again,  “...Yes I am.  Very good, I thought my number was blocked.”

I giggled. “It is, sorry, it's just that I never forget a voice, I'm kind of weird that way.  Ummm... you’re Mandy Fay and I'm like, nobody.  Why are you calling me?”

She was silent a couple seconds again.  Then she sounded slightly perturbed. “Please don't denigrate yourself like that.  Ever.”

I didn't know that word.  I mean I've heard it before but I never thought to ask anyone.  “Umm... I don't know what that means.  Sorry.”

She chuckled, it came out like musical chimes but it didn't sound like she was being mean.  “Please Sandra, stop apologizing.  Denigrate means to criticize unfairly.  I just don't want you putting yourself down.”

I felt stupid, good thing she couldn't see me blushing.  Then she continued talking.  “Well I was hoping you could help me out a little.  I saw some video online of Penny Franklin singing some new songs that I have never heard before.  They were so different than her Leather and Heels stuff.  I did some research and found how the record label and her band-mates messed her over.  It was shocking.  It seems her label was controlling her like they were controlling me back in the day.”

She pause a second.  “I can tell these new songs are so full of emotion they have to be personal to her.  I was immediately intrigued because I own a label, Harmony Trax, that works for the artists instead of the artists working for the label.  I'm flipping the industry on it's head.  I'm usually looking for up and coming unknowns but I know where Penny is coming from since I lived through it myself and would love to produce her new music for her.”

She paused and didn't continue.  So I asked, “OK, that sounds super cool and junk, but why call me?”

She sounded thoughtful as she said, “Well it seems that Penny is unreachable and I cannot find where she is living at the moment.  I called her... ex-husband... deplorable man, but nobody can locate her.  But in the video at the hospital burn ward there was this ever-smiling blonde woman on a stool beside her with these dazzling silver-grey eyes that Penny couldn't seem to stop looking at as she sang.  I had my lawyer, Frank Davenport, reach out to the hospital to see if they could shed some light on who that stunning blonde was in hopes she may know of Penny's whereabouts.  Do you know what I found out?”

I was almost giggling at her description of the blonde.  “No what?”

She laughed and it sounded like wind blowing through silver chimes. “You are so delightful!  It was you, silly woman.”

I blushed profusely then I said, “Frank Davenport?  I met his daughter Vicky once at the Ballyhoo, she's a super nice lady!”

I swear I could hear her grin over the phone. “Yes, she is.  But anyway Sandra, I was wondering if you knew how to contact Penny.  You two seemed quite smitten with each other and she sang directly to you in front of the stage at the Ballyhoo in that second video.  So I figured you were my best bet.”

My heart started aching again.  “No, unfortunately she disappeared on me that day.  We've been trying to find her but she is hurting and says she needs to think.”