Doesn’t vengeance feel good?
Her mother’s entrance to her mind was so seamless, Emariya didn’t have a chance to even consider raising her barriers. She’d been so consumed by the gift of the Warrens she hadn’t felt the gift of the Roths descending.
Not again,
she thought, just before she succumbed.
Torian watched in horror as Emariya’s eyes closed and she stilled, as unmoving as a statue.
“Oh by The Three, Riya. Not again.” He pulled her against him and she let out a soft sigh before going limp in his embrace. The nearby fire shrank back to a normal size, though the dark fissures that had appeared in the ground around them remained.
Jessa and Blaine ran toward them from a short distance away. “What happened?” Jessa’s jaw dropped as Torian lowered Emariya to the ground.
Alara worried the hem of one of her sleeves with her fingers. “The magic was too much. She let it consume her. It’s based in her emotions, and right now her emotions are... unpredictable.”
“She could have killed us all!” Kahl swore. “I tried to warn her. I’m not usually such a fan of forgiveness, but if she doesn’t let go of her hurt... I don’t know what will happen.”
Blaine cleared his throat. “Well, perhaps she can start by making peace with Valencia. Great-Grandmother Carah says that Valencia is with her.”
Torian gaped at him. “We have to do something; she nearly killed her the last time.”
Shaking his head, Blaine said, “Your Highness, this is something she needs to do. Carah is watching, but right now this is for the best.”
With a shaky nod, Alara said, “It may hurt her to hear her mother’s words, but the turmoil is hurting her more.”
“Put faith in us, son. I won’t let my daughter harm her. You’ve my word.” Kahl took a seat on the other side of Emariya’s still form.
Torian looked down at her angelic face. Once again she was in danger, and he couldn’t protect her.
“You aren’t useless.” Kahl gave him a rueful smile. “Even if it feels that way. But learn from this.
If you don’t mind my saying so, you can be a bit unreachable at times yourself. Especially after your visions. You shut everyone out. Even her. Perhaps right this moment, you’ve some inclination of how she feels. It’s not easy to have the one you love right before you, yet out of reach.”
Torian shook his head. “I hear what you are saying, but I think it’s different. Do you have any idea what it’s like to see the world ending? To see your sister—the sweet, lively girl who used to make you play dolls because you couldn’t stand to see her cry—heartbroken because her child destroyed everything you worked for? Everything you risked your life for? I see us here, fighting for what we think is best, knowing that we stand a very good chance of losing it all in the end! If we save my sister
—and by The Three, I
want
to save her—it may be the worst thing we ever do.” Torian trembled from the vehemence of his words. “Can you really blame me for being not quite myself, after everything I’ve seen?”
Kahl jabbed a finger at Torian’s chest. “Then what about her? You saw your sister, in the far future. Your wife saw you dead right now. Is it really any wonder she is floundering in darkness, out of reach? Your visions of the future darken your heart. Her visions of an alternate present strangled hers. The lesson you need to be learning here is that just because you see something doesn’t make it real. Until it is the actual here and now, it’s only an illusion.”
Alara came and put a kind hand on his shoulder. “Let your own darkness go, and hopefully, her mother can help Riya let hers go too.”
Realizing she couldn’t escape her mother, Emariya clenched her fists and whirled to face her. Her raw power simmered just below the surface. The familiar mist swirled around her legs, and she drew the fire outward, determined that her mother would not trap her again.
A few yards away, Lady Valencia stood, draped in white. Her pale blonde hair swayed gently from an unseen breeze. She looked exactly as Emariya had always envisioned her back when she was still a naïve child, mourning the mother she’d never known. She looked like the picture of innocence, even though Emariya now knew she was anything but.
“Let me go,” Emariya said through gritted teeth. The fire was there, and ready. If her mother so much as blinked wrong, she wouldn’t hesitate to unleash it.
“You are free to go. You are only here because you answered my call. I must assume some part of you—no matter how small—wants to hear what I have to say.”
“I don’t want anything from you.” At any moment her mother would make her move, but Emariya steeled herself. She was ready. Anything she said would only be a lie.
“No. I imagine you don’t. You’ve learned to do quite well on your own.”
It wasn’t her mother’s words that startled her, but her smile filled with...pride. Emariya gulped and her fiery anger deserted her, leaving her filled with the cold pain of her mother’s betrayal. A single tear made its way down her cheek. “Why?” she whispered.
“Can you understand what it is like to want something so much it is all you can think about? To want something, no matter the cost?”
Could she? She’d wanted to be able to be with Torian without worry. But she hadn’t been willing to throw caution to the wind to have him.
“Let me phrase it a different way, what if Torian actually had died the way The Three showed you?
What if he’d died, but The Three granted your request? It would have been awful, but at least it would have gotten you something. You’d have been on your way to realizing your goals. Except, what if then you failed?”
Emariya cringed and squeezed her eyes shut. Failure wasn’t an option.
“You aren’t seeing my point, Emariya. Think larger than yourself. It is one thing to pay an awful price if you get something worth having in exchange for it. I wasn’t angry because I died. I knew going into it what my fate might be. I would have accepted it willingly, to give you and your brother a chance for a better future. But things weren’t getting better. The Three Corners were still fighting.
You were both in danger if the Separatists learned of you. My death had achieved nothing except breaking your father’s spirit.”
“Don’t act like you cared about father!”
Valencia’s vivid blue eyes flashed. “Don’t presume to know what I do and don’t care about. And like it or not, I am your mother and you need to at least consider my words.”
“You forfeited that right when you nearly killed me because I wouldn’t do things your way.” The anger was back, and Emariya’s shoulders shook with the force of it.
Her mother sighed. “That was a mistake.”
Emariya couldn’t help herself. She laughed—a haughty, acerbic sound of disbelief. “What was?
Not finishing the act? Or thinking I would
ever
do things your way? I’m
nothing
like you.”
Valencia bowed her head. “Perhaps not. Or maybe you are more like me than you realize. You’d do anything for the ones you love. You are deeply committed to your people, and to peace. You are fierce and determined and brave. You are everything I’d hoped you would be, and more.”
“You hurt people!”
Blonde hair shivered as Valencia shook her head. “Not intentionally. I didn’t know that keeping you with me in the dream state would actually harm you. You must believe me, I didn’t know. I’m sorry, Emariya. If I’d known, I wouldn’t have done it.”
Emariya bit her lip. “How could you not know? And even so, if that is true, why didn’t you release me once you realized what was happening?”
Valencia turned away, concealing her face but her voice rang of honesty. “It isn’t easy to admit you’ve been wrong. I didn’t know because it isn’t as if I’d held someone in the void before. The living aren’t meant to be in the realm of the dead. They can’t survive there. I know that now, but I didn’t then. I can be stubborn, and I didn’t want to admit I’d made a mistake.”
“I heard that ‘Valencia Roth doesn’t apologize.’” Emariya didn’t know what to think. In the few times she’d encountered her mother in the spirit realm, she’d seemed so self-assured. Could this vulnerable apparition actually be her mother?
“Valencia Roth never apologized, you are correct, though I wonder who you heard that from. But Valencia Warren wanted to be more than she’d been. Your father made me...better. He makes me better.”
“So you have seen father then?” Emariya wanted to be happy for her father, but she wasn’t sure if her mother was as good for him as he apparently was for her.
Her mother adopted a tone of wistful longing. “Yes. We’ve been conversing. Although he is angry with me, too, of course. I didn’t know what Reeve and Alrec would be capable of together. Alrec is...well, I can see now that my parents were more right about him than I ever knew. He speaks to a darkness in Reeve, unfortunately.”
“But you sent him to Reeve!”
“Yes, I did. I can’t change that now, though I would if I could. But I wouldn’t change my dreams for you and your brother. Whether you like it or not, the two of you were the only two who had the chance to bring the bloodlines back together, and ultimately the three lands themselves. You were born to do exactly that. You may think it cold of me, but you were born for a purpose, and without motivation the two of you wouldn’t have ever known of that purpose. Alrec provided that motivation.”
“But how many people will be hurt because of it? Reeve doesn’t care how many casualties result from his campaign.”
“Emariya, people are lost—through battles and through starvation—every day The Three Corners are apart. In the end, I have to believe it is the lesser evil.”
“I don’t agree with that.”
“And what your father has made me see is you don’t have to agree with me. I lived my life, you deserve to live yours.”
Emariya’s jaw dropped, but she closed it, not knowing what to say.
“Who is to say if his way was right, but it’s why he didn’t tell you and Reeve about your gifts. He wanted you to become whoever you would be, without that influence. I’ve accepted that. And I’m setting you free. I cannot change what your brother has done, but I won’t assist him any longer. I cannot stop him, any more than I can control you. The two of you will have to work it out, no matter how much it breaks my heart to know that because of my meddling, one of you may not survive.” An agonized sob wracked Valencia’s shoulders.
Her mother was crying? Emariya blinked back disbelief. Both women regarded each other quietly while a long silence settled around them. “Why didn’t you ever go visit Reid?” Emariya asked at last, not sure what else to say.
“His spirit is very closely tied to the location upon which he died, unlike most. He clung to a memory, and has created a void of his own. Most spirits cannot pass into other spirit’s own realms, so to speak. Think of it like he has created his own home, and I can’t enter. Grandmother Carah is one of the few spirits strong enough to pass where she wishes, but even for her, it isn’t easy. That’s why when you were...with me...you didn’t see other spirits. I’d brought you into my world. I hope someday you will call me to your own spirit realm, though we may be running out of time.”
“How so?” Emariya wished she knew how to feel. It was all just too much.
“When you intentionally contact a spirit, you usually—but not always—create your own world, within the spirit world. You invite us in.”
“My room with the little door with the window in the top?”
“Exactly,” Valencia nodded.
“But if either you or Reeve unite The Three Corners, your magical vision will go dark. You won’t need us any longer, so we will be unable to come to you. Please know we will always watch over you, even if you can’t hear us. Both your father and I.”
Sudden realization settled in the pit of Emariya’s stomach, and her chest felt hollow. A victory meant saying goodbye—To Carah, and her mother, and Irina, and...her father. Her extra eyes would go dark. “
Soil prevails, behold its might. Blood and stones as one bring darkest night,
” she whispered.
“I wanted to see you. One last time. In case... Even if you hate me, I will still love you.”
“If you truly love me, then do not interfere. No matter what. Tomorrow when we reach Damphries, stay out of it. I don’t want your peace, but I will find my own.”
Valencia closed her eyes and began to fade out. Just before she disappeared she opened her eyes, nodded and gave a sorrowful smile. “I told you, Emariya. Your father makes me better. I won’t chose between my children. I thought I could arrange both of your futures from here, but each of you has chosen your own course. Just know, I love you both.” Then, in a brilliant flash of light, she was gone.
All that was left for Emariya to do was open her eyes and face the world of the living.
Approaching Damphries the next morning, Emariya felt more like herself than she had in days.
She’d resumed riding independently, though she frequently tossed private smiles toward Torian. They hadn’t discussed her eruption the night before, and she appreciated not having to explain.
She’d regained control of herself, and by the gentle way he squeezed her hand, and the understanding looks her other companions had given her, she suspected no grudge was held. Someday she might tell them of her talk with her mother, but for now she held it inside, close to her heart. All wasn’t forgiven, but she was closer than she’d been before. Instead of feeling like she were about to tumble over the edge, now she knew she stood close enough to look down and over at the tragic cliffs waiting below—but her feet were firmly on solid ground.
A storm cloud of activity rolled over them as they rode into camp. Well-wishes and welcome-backs rained down from every direction as they strode through, the men ahead of them parting like the sea. The tide of congratulations carried them to the command tent, where Torian and Emariya excused themselves and stepped inside. The rest of their companions had ridden to the tunnel. They’d bring the commander of that contingent to confer with the royal couple and Jimm.
When they closed the flap behind them, they looked around to find the tent uninhabited. “I’ll go find Jimm,” Torian said.