Broken Toy [Suncoast Society] (Siren Publishing Sensations) (17 page)

“I’m not looking for anyone to order me around.”

“Didn’t say you were, or that I wanted that in a relationship.”

She swerved a little as she glanced at him. “Relationship?”

“What?”

“You think we have a
relationship
?”

“Did I say that?”

“I—” She clamped down on it. No, that was not what he’d said, just what she’d jumped at. “Sorry.”

He smiled. He did have a handsome smile.

Damn him.

“I went to the club the week before the first class,” he said. “The night before the munch. I saw Seth and Leah playing, using rope bondage. It intrigued me. I’m not interested in heavy impact play, really, because I’m not a sadist. I like the control aspect, though. The rope was artistic.”

Answered her next question. “I’m not looking to get my ass beat.”

“Never said you were. I believe I just said I wasn’t interested in that.”

She felt like he was running conversational circles around her, and it was her fault for not keeping up.

This was
not
a problem she was used to having. “So why dinner?”

He shrugged. “I want to spend more time with you. Now that it appears we have even more in common, and that we both have a vested interest in keeping this part of our lives separate from our professional lives, it looks like we can trust each other.”

“Why do you want to spend more time with me?” she asked.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Because I like you, that’s why. I’m attracted to you. I’m not looking to play relationship games. If you’re not interested in me, it’s all right to tell me. No harm, no foul. I won’t be an asshole about it.”

Ask a stupid question.
“I don’t know what I’m looking for,” she admitted. “I’m not even sure why I went to the class beyond curiosity.” Well, that was only a half truth. “Okay, I did want to see you again.”

“Why did you go to the munch then?”

“Honestly?”

“Of course.”

She sighed. “My boss referred me to the restaurant. Non-professionally,” she quickly added. “When I went, the place was packed. I’d seen about the munch on the website, saw another couple sail on through, and decided to go for it so I didn’t have to wait forever for a table.”

“You weren’t at all curious about the lifestyle? You just wanted better restaurant service?”

It took her a few moments to finally mutter, “Okay, maybe I was a little curious.”

“Did I do something to offend you at the munch? Or at the class, or dinner?”

“No! I told you, I wanted to see you again. I enjoyed meeting you and talking to you.”

“Then why did you bail on the second class?”

That was the million-dollar question. “I told you, I was scared.”

“Fair enough.”

He didn’t elaborate.

She felt she owed him more of an answer than just that. “Look, I suck at this relationship stuff, okay? I’ll admit it. One thing I’m not good at. Haven’t had to be good at. Take it or leave it.”

“I’ll take it.”

“What?”

He shrugged. “I’m not asking for undying devotion. I’m asking for dinner. If that’s beyond you, then okay, whatever.”

“Dinner?”

“Yeah, dinner.”

Suck it up, buttercup.
“Okay, fine. Dinner.”

“
My
treat.”

She grumbled before nodding.

“So does this mean we have some sort of relationship starting?” he asked.

Hell, she had used that word, hadn’t she? “Maybe. Is that an acceptable answer, too?”

He nodded, that smile still curving his lips and doing something to her insides that she hadn’t felt in too damn long.

If ever.

* * * *

Bill struggled not to burst out laughing. He could tell how hard this was for her. He also knew that had he slipped into sympathy mode over the shocking revelations about her grandmother and what happened to Gabe during her childhood, she likely would have locked up tighter than Fort Knox.

She was over it, or at least claimed she was, so he wouldn’t push her. There would be plenty of time in the future to explore that if she decided to really trust him. Plenty of time to get the full story from her.

If they made it that far. Frankly, he was having fun verbally sparring with her and hoped they had more than just one more date.

Right now, he wanted to make it through dinner without her bolting like a terrified rabbit. No, physically she wasn’t afraid of him. Her fear came from the inside. Maybe she didn’t even realize it, but he could see it. All his years in law enforcement and dealing with a wide swath of people, he wasn’t a stranger to reading reactions.

Maybe she didn’t even know what she was really looking for. He was okay with that, too. As long as he could coax her into another date after tonight.

And another.

One tentative step at a time, until he could prove to her he was on the level and wasn’t looking for a quick lay or a doormat.

She was neither of those.

He never understood abusive asshats who wanted to break a woman’s spirit. He wanted a woman who had fire, a strong, stubborn spirit, someone who would willingly want to be with him and, sometimes, willingly want to submit to him. Not because she had to, but because she wanted to.

There was no honor in breaking someone’s will. The only honor was in earning someone’s trust enough that she willingly wanted to give him what he sought. The thrill of knowing that he was the only person who got to see that side of her.

The only person she trusted enough to show that side of her.

And the more independent the person, the greater the honor, in his mind.

His Ella had been the same way. Everyone who thought they knew her, and him, would have been shocked had they seen their bedroom dynamic. Sometimes even outside the bedroom, although to a far lesser and more informal way than some of the people from the club. He’d never had to demand it.

In fact, she’d been the one to instigate it early on in their relationship. And he’d been happy to know he was the first and only one who’d ever seen that side of her.

Magic.

He yanked himself out of thoughts of the past before he sank too deeply into them.

Ella was dead, but now, just maybe, he’d met someone he knew he could give his heart to.

If she’d have him.

And, more importantly, if she’d let him.

* * * *

Bill was both glad to see Marelli’s parking lot wasn’t filled, and a little disappointed they weren’t busier.

It meant the family would likely be stopping by their table to chat and interrupting his time with Gabe. Normally that wouldn’t be an issue, but maybe tonight he should have picked another restaurant.

Dori greeted them when they walked in. “Bill, there you are. And who is this?”

Uh-oh.

“Uh, Dori, this is Special Agent Gabriella Villalobos. We’re working together on a task force.”

“Ah.” The waitress looked disappointed. “And here I was hoping she was your date.”

He didn’t miss the look Gabe shot him over her shoulder as she followed Dori to a table. He also couldn’t interpret what that look meant.

“I take it you’re a regular here,” Gabe muttered after they were left alone to look at their menus.

“Nearly every night. How pitiful is that? They invite me to their home for the holidays.”

She stared at him over her menu. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

She let out a snort as her gaze returned to her menu. “I dodge invitations to my boss’ house every holiday so I don’t have to pretend I know how to be sociable.”

“You seemed sociable enough last Saturday night at dinner. Leah and the others were very disappointed you didn’t come back for the second class.”

* * * *

Gabe felt her face instantly go red. “Yeah, well, tell them I’m sorry about that. Feel free to tell them my reasons, too. That I’m a cop.”

“I think you should tell them yourself.”

She dropped her menu and stared at him. “What?”

He leaned forward, arms crossed in front of him and resting on the table. “The third class is this Saturday. I’ll pick you up on my way there.”

This wasn’t the easygoing man she’d gone out to dinner with.

This man was definitely an Alpha. Still, he hadn’t crossed over the line into asshole territory…yet.

“I haven’t agreed to go to the class.”

“You owe me.”

“What? Owe you what?”

“I was really looking forward to seeing you at the second class.” He smirked. “And because I was so bummed about you not being there, I volunteered to take a Sunday shift, nearly got struck by lightning in a parking lot, and had to spend a couple of hours sloshing around in the rain and mud at night after a K9 officer doing tracking, all because someone decided not to pay attention while walking to her car. You know how many hours of paperwork I had to go through?”

She met his gaze. There was a hint of teasing in his tone, the barest curve to his lips betraying his true mood.

Deflating, she nodded. “Sorry. I did screw that up. Guess I do owe you for that.”

He reached across the table and took her hand in his. “Seriously, Gabe, please go with me to the third class. And dinner.” His gentle tone tugged at her. “We can go back to the club later and just watch. Do you have better plans for a Saturday night? Because I know I don’t, and I’d much rather spend the time with you than sitting alone at home.”

She forced herself to look into his eyes. He’d slid back from the asshole line squarely into Alpha territory.

“They’re going to hate me,” she softly said.

“No, they won’t.” He squeezed her hand. “I promise you they won’t. I’ll talk to them. It’ll be fine. They’ll understand.”

“I’m not normally a flake like that, I swear.”

“I get it.” He released her hand after one last squeeze. “It’s okay. I understand.” He arched an eyebrow at her. “Frankly, my opinion is the only one that should matter to you in this situation. Please let me pick you up Saturday for the class. Do it for me, if nothing else.”

He was playing dirty. She took a deep breath and let it out again. It felt like she was about to jump off a cliff.

“Okay,” she softly said. “I’ll go.”

They texted back and forth on Thursday via their private phones. Gabe wouldn’t deny it felt good to finally sense she wasn’t alone in the world.

It was also a massive relief to have the truth out. To know Bill forgave her, understood her reasons for bailing on the class as well as hiding the truth about her identity from him at first, and didn’t hold it against her.

She also wouldn’t deny it was a relief to know she would get more alone time with him and rope. The thought that she might never experience subspace again had truly saddened her. How much so wasn’t clear until now.

Bill was a nice guy. He was a cop who could understand what she went through, what she did for a living. The stresses she was under, the things she’d seen and had to deal with. If she let things happen between them, she wouldn’t feel guilty about missed dinners or blown plans at the last minute because of a case.

He would understand.

He likely wouldn’t guilt trip her over it, either.

Friday, the task force met again in Venice. Bill and Gabe pretended nothing had happened between them, although Gabe had trouble keeping her eyes off him. It seemed every time she looked his way, his gaze skipped away from her like a panicked horse.

At least she wasn’t the only one who seemed to have it bad, and thank god her boss wasn’t there to see what was going on. She suspected he would have easily picked up on it.

And probably would have been highly amused by it, which would have only served to piss her off.

They had agreed Bill would come up to her condo after they finished working. When he arrived a little after seven, carrying a pizza, she nervously let him in. When he walked in and set the pizza on the counter, he looked out into the living room. “Oh, those are neat.”

She hurried to get paper plates ready. “What?”

He walked over to the coffee table and picked up a blue dog. “These. My wife used to knit things like this. Ami…amo… What are they called?”

“Amigurumis.”

“That’s it.” He set it down and appeared to be counting the others there and around the room. “Wow. You’ve been busy.”

“I donate them.”

“No bears?”

Damn him.
Being with a cop would have an obvious drawback. He had a very observant nature, whether by training or temperament, it didn’t matter. “No bears.”

He turned. “Mind telling me why?”