Broken Wings (Contemporary Romance) (12 page)

She pondered the idea of calling her to see how she was.
Maybe she would actually answer the phone this time
. She picked up her landline phone, punched in her mother’s number and waited as it started ringing. She let it ring out for over a minute before placing the receiver back on its base. A tear escaped down her cheek as the rejection from her mother bit down hard on her pride. She had promised herself she would not call her again, knowing she would never pick up the phone. She knew it was her daughter calling, she had caller ID so she could see who was calling. Like a fool, she had set herself up once again for a fall.

“
Why, why, why do I do this to myself?” she shouted out loud to herself.

The odd tear turned into a stream, steadily flowing down her face. She wondered why she'd bothered at all; it was never a good idea drinking alone on a Saturday night, especially when you were feeling emotional, she advised herself.

Angelina had always held on to the hope that one day, just maybe, her mother would actually call her up, a changed woman, filled with regret and wanting a fresh start with her daughter. But as the years passed by, her hope was diminishing. She knew in her heart of hearts it would never happen. Her reality was more likely a call in the middle of the night informing her that her mother had passed away.

Chapter
Eleven

Before becoming a bomb specialist in the British Army, Joshua had to complete soldier training, Combat Engineering training and then Trade training. Then he had to request to specialise in Bomb Disposal. This role included the safe disposal of unexploded ordnance, such as mines, shells, and bombs that may be left on the battlefield after a conflict. In peacetime, his team would apply that expertise to clear and make safe civilian areas in war torn countries. After Joshua was selected, he had to undertake a four-week course which taught him to recognize various types of bombs and ammunition, make them safe and then dispose of them. EOD Engineers also trained in counter-terrorist searches and the uncovering of illegal arms and explosives. After some further experience and promotion, Joshua completed another four week intermediate course that enhanced the skills he had already learnt. He was trained in advanced demolitions and mines and this enabled him to carry out the duties of a second-in-command in a Bomb Disposal team.

Joshua and his team’s day started at 06:00 hrs. Joshua had a team of twelve enthusiastic and loyal men that himself and another soldier were in charge of training as well as leading into the streets of Sierra Leone daily on peacekeeping exercises.

His team would have special training in bomb disposal. As part of the specialist bomb squad, they had a highly dangerous job within the British Army. Joshua had already lost a few men over the years to bombs planted by insurgents in
Afghanistan and had no intentions of losing any more. He thought of his men as brothers and as far as he was concerned, it was his responsibility to ensure their safe return back to the UK following a deployment in war torn zones. He was totally dedicated to his men and completely respected by them. His reputation had preceded him over the years. At almost twenty eight years old, he was an old hat and had seen a lot of war and the devastation it brings on all its victims. As a decorated soldier, he was respected just as much by his peers as he was by his men.

Just one week in of the twelve week peace-keeping tour, Joshua was looking forward to his first letter from Angelina. Some of the men had already received their first mail via the BFPO and he could see how much these letters meant to them, how much it lifted their spirits and gave them that extra push when they were worn out and feeling exhausted. To read the words lovingly written by their loved ones brought them closer to home. Joshua had worked so hard at shutting out any kind of relationship over the years, separating himself from all the emotions that he felt would hinder his job, that he had failed to see how much it could help him too. He could really see now; his eyes were wide open thanks to Angelina and he liked the way he felt, he liked having someone to miss and liked the thought of coming home to her even more.

Already having used his skills several times, the last being in Afghanistan, he knew all too well how disciplined a soldier had to be. Get it wrong and you would be blown up. Simple as that. Joshua hadn't spoken in great depth about his role in the army as a bomb disposal specialist; after mentioning it briefly in a conversation, he chose to leave it at that for now. He was lying down on his bunk, adding the final words to his second letter to Angelina after a long hard day. He wondered if she had received his first one yet. Thoughts of her were constantly in his mind. He was missing her so much, more than he ever imagined. It was blindingly hot and walking the streets of Sierra Leone in his fatigues did not help matters at all. The days were long and the streets were fragile, although not quite as fragile as they'd once been. Some of the men were finding it a little hard in the heat and welcomed the cool nights.

Once complete, Joshua sealed his letter and dropped it in the BFPO bag that was due for pick up the following day then headed over to the cookhouse to join his men for dinner. He was looking forward to a freshly prepared meal cooked by the RLC military chefs. He had to admit the food was great unless of course you were deployed somewhere on operations and your only choice was Operational Ration Packs, otherwise known as (ORPs), within the military! They weren't so great but did the job and had been much improved over the years with at least twenty different varieties available; a solider could go almost a month without eating the same thing if he so wished.

Joshua spent the next hour laughing with and teasing his men before heading off to bed. He needed his sleep and was always far better for it, especially with a team of twelve men to manage each day. He needed to be sharp and alert.

The following day would once again be spent in the blinding hot streets of Sierra Leone, protecting civilians and keeping them safe from the rebel attacks that still took place from time to time, albeit few and far between these days. For the most part, it was of low risk, but occasionally the unexpected could happen and they needed to be prepared at all times. The country was recovering from a decade of civil war and what disgusted Joshua the most about this particular war was the amputee children he saw daily. During
Sierra Leone's decade-long civil war, rebels had adopted the horrendous tactic of chopping off the hands or legs of innocent civilians as a way of instilling terror into the population.

Sierra Leone
was synonymous with the cruel and barbaric acts it performed on the poor women and children who got caught up in the war. Every single day, he would see far too many of the country’s war casualties trying to do what they could for themselves, rebuilding their lives as best they could and with very little help from their own government.

Joshua fell swiftly into a deep sleep, with thoughts of home at the forefront of his mind.

Chapter Twelve

Angelina rushed down the stairs as she heard the comforting sound of letters dropping to the floor. Almost tripping over her handbag and steadying herself on the hallway table, she adjusted herself and picked up her mail. She almost squealed with delight when she saw the envelope from the BFPO. She sat down on the bottom step and hurriedly opened the letter. Her heart was thumping so fast she thought it might jump right out of her chest. Taking a deep breath, she opened the letter and started to read.

BFPO

24536

To my beautiful Angelina,

I hope this letter finds you well? I can't tell you how much I am missing you and hope that you have missed me just as much. I have thought about you every single minute of every single day since we have been apart. This writing is all new to me so please bear with me! Those last few days we spent together were the best few days of my life. You have instilled a new kind of faith in me and one I was not expecting at all. You make me feel alive in ways I have not felt in such a long time.

I hope your boss didn't give you too much of a hard time when you went back to work? And if he did, tell him he will have me to answer to! Just kidding... Peace-keeping tour is going well, my men are the best. The days are long and intense. The streets of
Sierra Leone are depressing to be honest. The streets are filled with amputees everywhere we walk. It really is heart breaking to see, no amount of preparation can ever prepare you for some of the things we see.

Right now we are here purely for peacekeeping purposes, a neutral presence. The country is recovering from a decade of civil war and it still has a long way to go.

It really makes you appreciate what you have back home when you see how some of these people are living. It's so hot out here during the day but turns much cooler in the evenings, thank God. We are heading into week two already and our days will intensify with each passing week. There's not much to do out here in the evenings, we are limited as to what we can and can't do so we eat together, play cards and talk of home before turning in. For the most part, we are all too exhausted and welcome our beds.

How is that car of yours? Behaving itself I hope! Maybe next time I could leave you the keys to my car. I never gave it a thought before I left. I would give anything to kiss you right now and hold you. So for now I will just close my eyes and transport myself back to the lodge!

I am really looking forward to your first letter and wait with great anticipation each day. I have to sign off now as sleep beckons and I can barely keep my eyes open. Just know that you're in my thoughts constantly and I can't wait to see you again.

All my love, Joshua xxx

Angelina held the letter close to her chest. She had never felt so happy and so longing at the same time. How she wanted to feel his strong arms around her and his soft lips on hers. Her finger swept over her bottom lip as she remembered his last kiss. She popped Joshua's letter in the little drawer situated by the front door where she kept all her important mail. She couldn't wait to leave work today so she could reply to Joshua's letter.

She tried to envisage
Sierra Leone's amputees and how such things can be allowed to happen, not to mention why. It was always the innocents that suffered. She sat at her desk with a heavy heart as she could not shake off the images building up in her head, wondering how on earth the soldiers must feel having to see this each and every day. There are no winners in war, she thought to herself.

All day at work, Angelina clock watched. She couldn't concentrate on anything but Joshua and his letter. All she wanted to do was rush home, close the door and start penning her first letter. She was missing him so much and reading his words made her miss him all the more. Her whole life was changed now; the way she thought, the way she felt and the way she perceived each and every coming day.

Finally, five o'clock arrived and not before time. She shouted goodbye to Mary as she flew out of the door, almost knocking over the post room assistant.

“
I'm so sorry Sarah, are you okay?” she asked concerned as Sarah gathered her letters off the floor.”

“
No problem, go on, I'm in no rush to leave, I'm stuck here until 5.30 p.m. anyway.”

Angelina smiled, ran down the stairs into the car park and climbed into her car. The traffic was slow and she was impatient.
“Come on, get moving, for God sake,” she shouted. Angelina reached home twenty minutes later; what should have been a ten minute journey felt like it took forever.

She went straight to her kitchen drawer to retrieve the note pad and pen Joshua had bought for her and took up position in her favourite armchair. After re-reading Joshua's letter several times, she started penning her own:

Dearest Joshua,

Thank you so much for your beautiful letter, I can't tell you how happy I was when I received it. Yes, I am missing you terribly and I'm counting down the days until I see you again. I am still wearing the beautiful heart pendant you bought me; it makes me feel closer to you. My car is holding steady for now! As for my boss, well he called me into his office and gave me a lecture and one I deserved, so I came clean and told him the truth about why I had taken the unscheduled days off work. He was surprisingly understanding and reminded me that he too was young once!

I never thought I would find myself missing you so much like this; you are at the forefront of my mind night and day. Everything about my life feels different since we met; the way I view things and the way I think. You have made me feel complete again and it feels so good. I can't wait to feel your arms around me again. I think about our time at the lodge constantly and it brings a smile to my face every single day!

I can't imagine what it must like out there, Joshua, and I won't pretend to know what it is like on the streets of
Sierra Leone. After reading your letter about the Sierra Leone amputees, it really pulled heavily on my heart. It makes me so angry. You must come up against some hostility at times. Peacekeeping for such long hours in the stifling heat must be very exhausting. It sounds like you have a great team of men out there with you but it must be difficult having to see the things you witness each day. I guess you all keep each other going when things get tough. Just be sure to keep yourself safe for me and that's an order!