Bronxwood (13 page)

I go to the hospital to see Cal the next day, ’round two
o’clock, but when I get there, a nurse on the floor tell me he don’t wanna see nobody. I’m like, “Tell him it’s me, Ty.” She go in his room and come out shaking her head. “He’s very tired,” she say. “He hasn’t wanted to see anyone today.”

I tell her thanks, but part of me just wanna bum rush the door to Cal room and tell him he don’t gotta do this. Nobody blaming him for what happened and he ain’t do nothing wrong. His brothers was the ones that was s’posed to have his back.

I leave the hospital feeling bad for Cal. He probably laying in that bed feeling like shit. And there ain’t no need for that.

All last night I was thinking ’bout what happened, just sitting in that hot-ass apartment making myself madder and madder. The situation just feel heavy on me, like something that’s so messed up, but something I can’t do shit ’bout. That’s a feeling I don’t like.

I don’t know what Adonna is doing today, but she could probably cheer me up. She answer the phone on the second ring. “What you doing?” I say to her.

“I’m on Fordham Road shopping with Asia. She’s taking
forever
picking out a pair of jeans. It’s crazy!” She giggle. “What about you?”

I tell her ’bout what happened to Cal and how he don’t even wanna see nobody. “Don’t tell nobody ’bout this at Bronxwood,” I say. “Even Asia. He don’t need this getting out.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t say anything.” I can tell she feeling real sad for Cal, just like me.

“Good,” I say, hoping she keep her mouth closed. Then I ask her, “What you doing later? Wanna come over for a little while?”

“Okay, but something tells me I won’t be done shopping anytime soon. I’ll try to come over around five.” “Cool. See you in a while.”

Talking to Adonna definitely help. I can’t say Cal out my mind all the way, but least when I’m with Adonna I can think ’bout somebody else for a while.

I stop by Troy camp again, but he ain’t there. They on a trip to the science museum and ain’t getting back ’til after six, so I stop off at the bodega to get a two-liter Sprite and some barbecue chips for Adonna, then go back home to
wait for her to get there. Second day of being in this apartment without Cal and it ain’t the same. Nobody home to complain to ’bout shit, which is what it seem like me and him do all the time now.

Guess we gonna have more to bitch ’bout now.

I paid Keisha to come clean up this morning before I left for the hospital, so least the place ain’t nasty. I’ma try and keep things slow with Adonna ’cause I can tell this plan is working on her. After Sunday, me and her is close. Course if she wanna go in my room and let me give it to her, I ain’t gonna be the one to say no.

A brotha can dream, right?

Something after five, the doorbell ring and I’m like, good, she right on time. But when I open the door it ain’t Adonna standing out there. It’s Novisha.

Before I say anything to her, before I can even think of something to say, Novisha go, “I heard about what happened to Cal.”

She still standing in the hall, and I ain’t gonna let her come in neither, not with Adonna on her way over. “What you want, Novisha?”

She look kinda surprised by how I’m acting, but that don’t make no sense to me. She know why I’m this way. She the one that made me like this. “I want to know if Cal is okay, and if you’re safe, living here with those guys. I’m—”

“Oh, I get it. You worried ’bout me.” I gotta laugh at that one. The girl that hurt me worse than anybody else is worried ’bout me. Shit is funny.

“What?” Novisha ask. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Novisha, you gotta go. I don’t have time—”

“Talk to me.”

Why she sound like she begging me? Why can’t she take a hint already? “Look, Novisha. I’m okay. Cal okay. Just stay outta this, a’ight?”

“But—”

“Your moms know you here? ’Cause you know how she feel ’bout Cal and them.”

“Of course she doesn’t know I’m here, but when I heard about what happened to Cal, I couldn’t stop thinking about him. It sounds horrible. How’s he doing? Is he in the hospital?”

“Novisha, you gotta go.” I step out into the hall and push the button for the elevator.

“I wanted to talk to you about something else,” she say. “I want to tell you something.”

I shake my head ’cause I shoulda knew she wasn’t coming over here for what happened to Cal. All this ’bout how she worried ’bout Cal ain’t nothing but bullshit. Yeah, her and Cal know each other, always did, but they ain’t friends or nothing. She don’t care ’bout him. I press the button again, but don’t say nothing.

“I don’t know why you’re acting like this, Ty. I just want to tell you something.”

“Keep it to yourself,” I tell her, and finally I hear the elevator coming. “Go home, Novisha. Just go.”

The elevator doors open and before Novisha can even move, Adonna come out. She look at Novisha and then at me and the look on her face say it all. She fucking pissed.

And me, I can’t believe this shit. Adonna looking at me like I’m the lying asshole she thought I was, and with me standing out here in the hall with Novisha, I can’t say nothing ’cause nothing I say gonna change what she thinking.

Adonna don’t never step foot off the elevator. All she do is press the button for the first floor and stare at me ’til the doors close again. And when she gone I’m standing there with Novisha and I swear I could kill that girl. She standing there looking like she in shock, but I know she happy for what she did.

“Ty, I’m—”

“Save it, Novisha. Just go.”

I go back in the apartment and leave her standing out there alone.

Cal get released from the hospital the next afternoon,
and me and Greg go to pick him up. They moms is there too, but the second we get Cal into Greg car, Cal say he don’t wanna go to her apartment. He wanna go home.

For a second I think Cal moms is gonna be like, no, you gotta come home with me. Then I remember who she is. Woman don’t say a word to try and change his mind.

The whole way to Co-op City to drop off they moms and even on the way to Bronxwood when it’s just us, Cal don’t say nothing. He sitting in the backseat looking kinda depressed, and nothing me and Greg say to him bring him outta it.

Cal need help getting out the car, but since folks is outside, as soon as he out, he push Greg away from him and say, “I’m a’ight. Damn.”

Then he walk real slow up the path to the building. It’s obvious he in pain and trying to play it off. Me and Greg look at each other, but what we s’posed to do?

It take a while for us to get upstairs to the apartment, Cal walking so slow and stiff. Cal say he can’t lay in no bed no more, so we set him up on the couch. His ribs is still hurting real bad and his breathing ain’t back to normal. The nurse gave him this little machine thing with a hose that he gotta blow into so his lungs can get stronger, but Cal get lazy sometimes and I know he ain’t gonna hardly use that thing.

I give Cal a bag of Doritos, a Pepsi, and the remote control. Greg must be happy he home ’cause he don’t even try to play one of his PlayStation games. He just chill and let Cal control the TV.

We all sitting in the living room watching TV for a while when the doorbell ring.

Cal go, “Oh, shit.”

For a second, Greg even look scared. That’s ’cause nobody still told Andre what happened to Cal and they don’t know if he found out yet.

But Andre don’t gotta ring no bell to get in. So I go to the door and ask who it is.

“Me. Tina.” Damn, I swear, that girl musta shoved some kinda tracking device up Cal ass or something. “Let me in.”

Cal let out a moan.

“A’ight, hold on,” I say through the door. I give Cal the signal like, what you want me to do?

He just shake his head, not really saying no, don’t let her in, but more like, why she gotta come here?

So I open the door and Tina come flying in with CJ in his stroller. She take one look at Cal and suck in her breath. Then she just go crazy. For real crazy.

First she start crying and saying over and over, “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe they did this to you.”

She sit down on the arm of the couch by Cal and lean over and start stroking his head and shit.

Then she flip. She curse him out for not letting her come and see him at the hospital. “How could you do that to me?” she ask. “Me!”

Least I ain’t the only one he flat-out disrespected.

Cal hardly get a word out when she flip again. “We got a kid, Cal. Your son needs you alive and well, not laying in the street somewhere dead. You gotta think about what you’re doing, protect yourself. This shit is crazy.” She turn to me and Greg. “Don’t you think this is crazy? Why can’t y’all talk to Andre?”

Greg shrug and just look dumb.

I go, “I ain’t in they business, Tina.”

“So you don’t care what happens to him? Is that what you’re saying, Tyrell? Your best friend.”

I stare at her for a couple seconds and then tell Cal I’ma be back. I ain’t gonna start arguing with Cal girl.

I leave the living room and go to my room. I sit on the bed and try and cool myself down, but it ain’t working too good. I wish Adonna wasn’t pissed at me ’cause she could take my mind off all this shit.

I tried calling her, like, three times last night and she ain’t answer her phone for none of them. I left a message, trying to tell her that Novisha came over here by herself, not ’cause I asked her to come over, but I guess Adonna ain’t trying to hear it.

While I’m waiting for Tina to stop acting like a crazy fool in the living room, I try calling Adonna again. This time she answer. “I don’t want to talk to you, Tyrell.” Damn, her voice all hard and tight.

“C’mon, Adonna. You gotta let me … how you not gonna let me explain?”

“Explain what?”

I take a deep breath and try to relax myself. “I wanna see you, talk to you. See you.”

“I’m on my way back from Bay Plaza. I’ll call you when I’m close, but I’m only giving you five minutes. That’s it.” She don’t sound like she even wanna give me that. “I gotta go.”

We hang up and I don’t know. I ain’t feeling all that good ’bout none of this. She sound like she already made up her mind. But all the time I put into that girl. It’s worth trying to make up to her.

I lay on the bed and try to relax. Right ’bout now, my moms and pops is at the agency visit and I ain’t there. I know Troy probably wanna know where I’m at, but I hope he understand. I can’t let go of that key yet.

Finally, Adonna text me. 1 block away. u got 5 mins.

I check myself in the mirror to make sure I’m looking cute. I hope Adonna gonna let me explain. I mean, I ain’t even do nothing wrong, but still, I know females don’t always make sense. And no matter what I say, I know for a fact Adonna definitely not gonna make this easy on me.

Adonna coming down the street by the time I get downstairs, and I can tell she in a pissed-off mood by the way she walking. She carrying all kinds of shopping bags and shit, and she walking and swinging them like she don’t care that I’m walking up to her. It’s like she trying to prove she through with me.

And damn, that bad attitude is fuckin’ hot.

Me and her finally get close enough for me to talk to her. “You doing all this shopping for school already?”

“Kinda,” she go, and keep walking down the block.

I hafta follow next to her ’cause she ain’t slowing down. “Y’all girls kill me with the way y’all be shopping all the time.”

She don’t say nothing. She just keep walking. This ain’t going too good. If I don’t stop this now, she gonna be walking into her building and this whole thing gonna be for nothing. “Adonna, c’mon. Slow down.”

She take another couple steps, but I stop walking. She ain’t gonna play me like this. It take her a couple seconds, then she actually turn ’round. She sigh. “Where are you—?”

“Adonna, you gonna talk to me or not? You said you was giving me five minutes. You ain’t even gave me five seconds.”

She sigh.

“Come here,” I tell her, and I feel that I’m kinda taking control, kinda the way my pops do with my moms. Just tell her what she need to do. “Come over here, and me and you gonna talk. That’s it. Talk.”

It work too. I mean, she still got that attitude and everything, but she follow me to the side of her building, over by the parking lot. A couple people going to they cars and coming into the building, but it’s still the best place me and her could talk.

I take her bags from her, and put them on the ground, then take both of her hands in mines, real romantic. “I like you,” I say. “A lot.”

She shake her head and pull her hands outta mines.

“Listen to me,” I say. “I like you and I wanna spend time with you, just me and you. And what happened yesterday, that was straight-up—” I try to find the right word, but I don’t even know what the fuck happened. “That was just bad timing or something, ’cause like I told you before, me and Novisha is nothing no more. Yeah, she my ex, but I’m not thinking ’bout that girl.”

“You keep saying that, but—”

“Let me finish,” I say. “Let me tell you what happened.” And I tell her the whole story, how Novisha just came by
outta the blue to see how Cal was doing and how I was trying to get rid of her when Adonna came by.

“That’s not what it looked like,” she say.

“I ain’t lying. Why I’ma bring her over there when me and you had plans to watch a movie together?”

“I don’t know why guys do anything they do.” She look down at the ground.

“Why you being like this, Adonna, huh?” I know she wasn’t gonna be easy to get, but this don’t make no sense already. “I told you. The way that girl treated me, ain’t no way I’ma get back with her. You see me spending time with her? No. You see me spending time with you. That’s it. That’s ’cause you the one I want.”

I’m hating the way I’m sounding right now, like I’m begging this female for something, and yeah, I wanna get with her, but I’m not liking the way I’m going ’bout this.

Adonna pick her head up and she got tears just rolling down her face. Shit. I don’t even know what I said to make her start crying. “This is what I wanna know, Tyrell. What’s wrong with me?”

“What? You?”

“Why am I always the one nobody wants?”

“You crazy or something? Every dude up here in Bronxwood want you. We be drooling when you walk by.”

“Then what am I doing wrong? I thought I was making you happy. Yesterday, I wanted to, you know, really let you
know how much I liked you, but then—” She shake her head. “Forget it.”

“You was making me happy, and you coulda made me real happy for a long time, Adonna. No doubt. Me and you together could be alright if you just would let it.”

“I can’t,” she say. “I can’t be with somebody if I’m gonna have to worry about who they’re with when they’re not with me. I’m tired of chasing guys.”

“C’mon, Adonna. I been chasing you for—”

“I gotta go, Ty. If you want, me and you can be friends, but that’s it. Sorry.”

Damn. That “friends” bullshit hurt. No way me and Adonna gonna be friends. What, me and her gonna go play ball or something? I already got one female friend and Jasmine enough for one guy. Besides, how I’ma have two girls in my life and I ain’t getting with none of them? That don’t make no kinda sense.

“Bye,” she say, and she just ’bout to go when I see that she still got on my pops chain. If I don’t get it back from her now, I ain’t never gonna see it again.

Yeah, I feel like shit, but I hafta do it. “Adonna, I need my pops chain back. He been asking me for it.”

She just stare at me for a couple seconds. Feel more like a couple hours though. “I thought you gave it to me.”

“I ain’t give it to you. I told you—”

“Whatever,” she say with all the attitude she got, turn
’round, and move her hair out the way. I undo the chain and take it off her neck fast before I do something stupid and say she should keep it.

I slip the chain in my pocket while she pick her bags up off the ground.

“I’ma see you ’round, then?” I ask her.

“Yeah. I’m not going anywhere.”

And that’s it. I stand there watching her carry her bags ’round the building to the front door. She don’t look back neither. She gone.

The whole thing is fucked up. All this ’cause of Novisha. On my way back to my building, I can’t help but think maybe me and Adonna wasn’t s’posed to get together. I mean, going after a girl like that was fun, but I don’t know if that was enough.

When me and Novisha was together it was different. We had something deep. I need a girl like that again. Somebody. I’m tired of being like this.

I can’t help but be pissed at myself that I never got none from Adonna though. Trying to be a gentleman and go slow was a bad idea.

The day only get worse from there. Second I’m close enough to my building, I see that black van double-parked out front and know I’m fucked. My pops is here at Bronxwood. I’ma lose the storage room key. And the equipment.

“Where was you?” my pops ask me when I get close to the van. He sitting inside, smoking a cigarette.

“Cal got out the hospital. I had to help bring him home. He jacked up, in a lot of pain and shit.” He don’t say nothing, so I keep talking. “I know I was s’posed to come to the agency, but—”

“I told you we trying to show that agency that we a family, right? I ain’t gonna make it a habit to tell you the same thing more than once. You understand me?”

“I know.”

The way he looking at me, staring me down, I don’t get him. “We had to tell that caseworker that you had a cold. And don’t you think your brother wanna see you?”

“I know, but I don’t need to go there to see him.”

“Where the key?”

“Upstairs. I gotta go get it.”

“Go on, then. I don’t have all day.”

I can’t believe the way he think he can have me running and getting things for him like I’m a slave or something. But I go upstairs anyway, just to get the stupid key and get him to leave me the fuck alone. But I’m pissed. I know he ain’t having another party ’til next week when he throwing that big party he gonna make lots of money from. He don’t need that equipment now.

Only reason he taking the key is ’cause he don’t want me to make no money from it. He trying to keep me in line
and make me need to go back home or something. But he don’t know, I’m my own man now. Ain’t no going back.

Still, I can’t act like what he doing ain’t getting to me. I gotta DJ Jasmine party on Saturday and I don’t know how I’ma do it. This day is fucked up. I feel like I don’t have nothing right now. No equipment, no money. No girl.