Bronxwood (21 page)

I don’t wake up ’til after eleven, and even then I’m still
tired. I go out to the kitchen to grab something to eat and I don’t see Cal ’round. He probably still ’sleep. But it’s good I don’t hafta deal with him right now. I still can’t believe the way he was acting last night. He don’t know shit ’bout what’s going on between me and my pops. How he gonna tell me what to do?

I’m still sitting there eating and thinking ’bout my pops party tonight, which I don’t even feel like playing, when Cal come out his room. He musta been up a while ’cause he dressed already. He don’t come into the kitchen or nothing, but he stand in the hall by the door and I’m like, what? He want me to talk to him or something? But he don’t. He just say to me, “I’ma go out. I need to get something over on Willis Avenue.”

This the first time he leaving Bronxwood since he got beat up. I don’t know why he gotta go so far when he still
in pain and still taking them pills, but what I’m s’posed to do ’bout it?

“You gonna be here later?” he ask me.

I don’t get why he even trying to talk to me. “Nah.” I don’t even look up when I say this. I ain’t one to let shit go easy.

“Okay.” He stand there a second, like he waiting for me to say something, which I don’t, so he just leave out the apartment.

He gone ’bout fifteen, twenty minutes when my cell ring. It’s Jasmine.

“Ty,” she say. “I stood home from work today. Emiliano’s at work. Come over.” She talking all fast and shit.

I ain’t gonna lie. This girl confusing the hell outta me. One day she ignore me and then don’t call me for the rest of the week. Now she sound like she desperate for me or something.

“I’ma be over there,” I tell her.

And I don’t waste no time getting my ass in the shower.

I get off the train on Grand Concourse, and while I’m walking to Jasmine building, I’m feeling real good that she called me and wanted me to come over. I missed her, talking to her, being with her. The closer I get to her building, the more I wanna see her and the more I know she my girl.

The second I get upstairs in Jasmine apartment and see her in a tank top and these little shorts that only just hardly cover her ass, it’s all I can do to hold myself back. I put my arms ’round her waist and don’t give her a chance to say nothing. I just start kissing her, my tongue all deep in her mouth, and I could probably do this for a while, just kiss her and know me and her is connected. It’s like I’m finally feeling it with her, for the first time. This ain’t just ’bout getting sex from her. It’s ’bout knowing she mines. And she is.

We don’t even make it to her bedroom. We standing right in the living room, taking each other clothes off and kissing and laughing. This girl so hot, damn, why wasn’t I with her all this time? Next thing I know, me and her is on the floor and I’m getting them light blue panties off her. My jeans is on the floor halfway under us and I’m going through the pockets real fast, trying to find the condoms I stuck in there before I left my place. I need this girl now.

When I get inside her, I ain’t gonna lie, it’s just as good as the first time. Nah, it’s better, ’cause now I’m feeling the same for her that she feel for me.

“I love you,” Jasmine whisper. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I say. And it’s true. I do. This is the best feeling I ever had, the first time I’m ever doing this with a girl I love. And who love me back. The last girl I loved was Novisha and she never gave it up to me. Now that I’m with
Jasmine, I ain’t sure Novisha really loved me the way I loved her.

Me and Jasmine is connected one hundred percent. That’s how tight we are. This what I been looking for.

Like a hour later, me and her is eating Bagel Bites at the kitchen table. I got my jeans back on, but all Jasmine wearing is her T-shirt and panties and she look so pretty and sexy. Even though I’m wore out from her, I can’t even keep my hands to myself ’round her.

I put one hand on the side of her face and the other on her thigh and tell her, “What I said, you know, ’bout loving you. I was serious. I don’t say nothing like that ’less I mean it. You?”

She look me in the eye. “Me too.”

We kiss. “I been thinkin’ ’bout you a lot,” I say. “’Bout us. And what we got going here. You think me and you—?”

“I want us to be together, Ty. You want that too?”

“Yeah. For real.” I lean over and kiss her again, and when I pull my lips away, she smiling. Damn, she beautiful.

I get up and take her hand and walk her to her room. Now that we official, I wanna get with her again. And we gonna need to be on a bed for what I’ma do to her.

“You think everything is gonna be different now, because
we together?” Jasmine ask me.

It’s almost five o’clock, and me and her is laying in bed, still naked. “Yeah. I hope everything gonna be better,” I say.

Jasmine laying on her side, facing me, looking so goddamn beautiful, I can’t stop touching her, running my hand up and down the side of her body, her waist and her hips and her legs. All of this is mines.

“I mean, we were friends for a long time, Ty. I don’t want to mess that up.”

“No matter what happen, me and you always gonna be friends. Don’t worry ’bout that.” I lean over and kiss her.

“You decide what you gonna do? I mean, about school?”

I ain’t thought ’bout it, but right now, knowing me and her is gonna be together and I’ma get to see her every day, maybe I will go back. “Yeah,” I say. “I’ma be there.”

She smile. “Good.”

We kiss again. Then I ask Jasmine if she really liked her Sweet Sixteen party.

“I loved it!” she say. “Everything came out perfect, especially your music. Everybody had so much fun dancing!” She laugh. “The only thing that bothered me was Reyna. I don’t get why she just came and then left so fast. She didn’t even dance to one song. And she loves to dance.”

“You know what happened,” I tell her. “While you was opening your presents, her and Emiliano started talking.”

“They did?”

“Yeah. Then they went in that little room, but only for, like, a couple minutes, like, three, four minutes. Then, after that, she left real fast.”

“I didn’t even see that. I can’t even think of anything they had to talk about.”

I shrug. The whole thing was kinda weird, but Jasmine don’t need to spend no more time worrying ’bout Reyna when it should be the other way ’round. “C’mon, Jasmine. Don’t start stressing ’bout this.” I pull her closer to me and wrap my arms ’round her. I ain’t gonna lie. I ain’t looking for this day to end.

But it gotta. I know Emiliano gonna be home from work soon, and I gotta get back to Bronxwood to get ready for my pops party tonight.

“What’s the matter?” Jasmine ask me. “The muscles in your arm just got tight. What you thinking about?”

“Nah, it’s nothing.”

She sit up and look at me. “Talk to me, Ty. I’m always telling you my problems, but you never—”

“It’s not a problem.”

“Dios mio!
This is about your father, right? It’s always about him, but you never really talk about him. Tell me.”

I don’t say nothing.

“Digame,
Ty.”

She ain’t gonna stop, so I go and tell her ’bout how me and my pops ain’t been getting along too good, and ’bout Andre telling me I gotta leave outta the apartment and I don’t know where I’ma go next. “I’ma help my pops DJ one of his parties tonight. I don’t wanna be there with him, but he gonna pay me good, and I need to find a place to stay.”

“Why don’t you go home?”

Now she sounding like Regg. And Cal.

“C’mon, Ty. You lucky that you got a mother and father. Just go home and deal with it, you know, ’til you finish high school and—”

“You don’t know. My pops be going off on me all the time and …” I shake my head. “Forget it. Point is, me and him can’t live together no more. Two men in one house don’t work.”

“Why don’t you talk to him? Try. Promise me you gonna talk to him. I don’t want you out on the street.”

Still can’t say no to her. I take a deep breath. “A’ight,” I say. “I’ma talk to him tonight. After the party. If he in a good mood. But I don’t think it’s gonna work.”

Even saying it make me feel mad, like I can’t make it on my own. But maybe Jasmine and Cal is right. Maybe I could stay with my moms and pops for a while, just deal with it ’til I can find my own place. But I don’t know though. It ain’t gonna be easy no matter what.

I gotta change the subject fast. Thinking ’bout talking to my pops after the party is fucking my brain up. So I ask Jasmine what she doing tomorrow night. “’Cause me and you could go out,” I say. “I could take you to the movies or something.”

That’s when she get kinda quiet. “I can’t. Emiliano wants to go back to Connecticut again, for a whole week this time. He’s on vacation, and they got a pool there and everything. We’re leaving tomorrow, early in the morning.” She point to the corner of her room where she got this big suitcase open and clothes inside in a pile. I ain’t even notice that before. “I’m supposed to be packing.”

“A week?”

She nod, but she get that look in her eyes again, like I seen at the restaurant the other day.

“You don’t wanna go?” I ask her. “’Cause, why you don’t just tell Emiliano you wanna stay here? Then me and you could—”

“I can’t,” she say, looking down. And everything ’bout her change. Then she start crying, and now I get it. Damn.

“He fucked you, didn’t he?” I’m asking the question, but
I don’t even need her to answer me ’cause I know what happened. Everything make sense.

Jasmine nod, and I sit up and wrap my arms ’round her tight and we stay like that for a long time, me holding her while she cry and talk. “He told me that sixteen was old enough to decide, that I should know if I wanna be with him — if I love him, because I was going to be sixteen. But I didn’t know.” She crying hard now on my shoulder.

“That was why you wanted to find Reyna,” I say.

“I thought — I wanted her to, you know, take me with her, but …”

“She look messed up, Jasmine. You seen her, right? She look bad.”

“I know. The way she looked, that’s why I made a decision, for me. For my life. I don’t wanna end up like her, out there, doing whatever she does, like, stripping or whatever. I don’t wanna be like that, and I know, I know what girls that look like me could end up doing. I don’t want that. So I told Emiliano I decided to be with him and when we went to Connecticut after the party, me and him—”

She stop talking so she could cry some more, and I’m so fucking pissed I can’t even breathe hardly. “He hurt you?”

“No, he loves me. He waited for me. I’m old enough now.” She wipe her eyes. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

She stop talking and I keep holding her. It ain’t easy dealing with none of this. Ever since I knew that Emiliano liked her, I knew he was just waiting for her, and I knew
one day he was gonna get what he wanted. And even though I knew it was gonna happen, that don’t stop me from being pissed.

At the same time, there’s something I gotta know for my own self. “What happened between me and you, Jasmine, in my room, what was that ’bout?” I ask her. “I mean, if you knew you was gonna let him in, why you get with me then?”

She look me in the eye. “Because I love you, what do you think? I wanted to be with you, especially before—”

“Then what ’bout him?” I can’t even hardly say his name no more.

“I’m only gonna do it with him when I have to, and he’s not gonna do it unless we in Connecticut because the law is different there.”

“Jasmine, I can’t—”

“I need you, Ty. I—”

“I can’t do it, Jasmine.” I pull myself away from her and get up outta the bed. I find my underwear on the floor and start getting dressed. I’m mad. Only I’m not really sure if I’m mad at her or just everything, the situation. It’s all fucked up. Everything, this whole day I spent with Jasmine, it’s over and so is me and her. Over. I can’t be with no girl if they just using me. That ain’t what I want.

“Ty, don’t go. I can’t get through this without—”

“It don’t work that way, Jasmine. Not for me, it don’t. If me and you is together, we together. I ain’t gonna share you with nobody, definitely not him.”

Jasmine still sitting there on the bed, crying. But I gotta go. I need to get outta there.

I’m in the lobby when I see him. Emiliano. Home early. He don’t see me at first. He getting his mail out the box and there’s two ladies down there, going through the door. I just stand there, ’cause I don’t know what I’m s’posed to do. Run and hide so Jasmine don’t get in no trouble for having a guy upstairs with her. Or run up on this dude and kick his fuckin’ ass hard enough for him to remember to keep his hands off her.

But before I can do any of them things, Emiliano look up and see me. And me and him is just looking at each other from one side of the lobby to the other. “You have to say to me something?” he go.

Fuck him. I got a lot of shit to say to him. But there’s too much going on in my head and I don’t know what to say. So all I go is, “You hurt her and I’ma fuck you up. You understand me?”

Emiliano practically laugh. “You fuck up me?”

Yeah, alright, he do work out every day, lift weights and shit. And yeah, his arm the size of my leg. But he don’t understand how I fight when someone mess with a friend of mines. ’Specially Jasmine. After everything I been through with that girl.

I walk closer to him, not sure what I’ma do, but he hold up his hand like he want me to stop. “I love her,” he say. “I
no hurt her. I want to take care of her. Who she got now? Nobody. No mother, no father, no Reyna.”

“That ain’t the point,” I say.

“The point? The point is, I work hard, buy for her nice things. For her birthday, I make a big party. Now, for school, I buy for her clothes and shoes and books. I tell her, no more working at the restaurant. I give to her money. She study hard, do good grades.”

“She sixteen,” I say, but ain’t no getting through to this guy.

“I love her,” he say. “I no let her go.”

I can’t decide if I should punch him or not. Yeah, he could take me, but I could get a couple good punches in before that. Might make me feel better.

But it ain’t. “You gonna bring her back from Connecticut?”

He look kinda surprised, like he ain’t think I knew what he was up to. “She stay there. The schools good there. I’m looking for a nice apartment, for me and for her. I treat her very good.”

I try to control myself, but it ain’t easy. Emiliano gonna take Jasmine away, and ain’t nothing I say gonna change that. Truth is, I can’t do nothing to make Jasmine situation better.

A hour ago me and her was as close as two people could get. Now everything is fucked up. And I’m losing her for real.