Bronxwood (3 page)

Cal already outside in front of our building working hard by
the time I get back uptown. Just seeing him make me mad. I still ain’t in no mood for him. So I just go up the path, past him leaning up against the building, and I’m just ’bout at the lobby door when he go, “You been walkin’ around with your face like that all day? ’Cause, dude, no disrespect, but you lookin’ jacked.” And he start laughing.

And even though there ain’t no way I’ma laugh with him, nigga always did know what to say to least get me to stop, even when I’m mad. “You snappin’ now?”

“Nah, just speaking the truth. Look at yourself, man. How long it’s been since your ugly ass got some?”

“Least I ain’t damn-near married.” I drop my backpack on the ground and lean up against the wall on the other side of the door. “How your wife and kid doing? How ’bout your mother-in-law?”

He shake his head. “A’ight, you got me. Damn. That’s some messed-up shit.” Then he laugh.

And that get me to smile ’cause me and him both know his situation is fucked up. He sixteen and already got a kid, and a baby mother that think it’s her job to make his life hard. And her moms is worse than her, calling him all the time, demanding more money. Cal working out here more hours than he used to just to try and keep everybody happy and off his back. And it still ain’t working.

I stand outside with him for a while talking. It’s still light out, but the sun gonna go down soon. Then shit at Bronxwood gonna start getting crazy. So for now, I’m just chillin’, telling Cal ’bout my trip and all the fine girls they got in Atlanta, and that funny way they talk down south. Then Cal tell me ’bout the party they had last night, and how fast everything got outta control, not that nobody cared ’cause they was all fucked up anyway. Nothing new ’bout none of this. Me, Cal, and Greg been having parties like that since I moved in with them. We been having some crazy fun. For real.

Cal working while we talk. He been selling weed so long, he real smooth ’bout it. We don’t even gotta stop talking when he get a customer. Now that he sixteen and could get some real jail time if he get busted, he don’t never keep no drugs on him. Only thing the police gonna find in his pockets is a wad of cash. He got this thirteen-year-old kid, Keith, from Building B working for him. Kid crack me up ’cause he real little for his age, but he doing everything he
can to look hard and tough when he working. Shit’s funny as hell. ’Specially ’cause Keith the one that hold all the weed. He leaning on the fence ’cross the street waiting for the signs from Cal. The whole thing is going on right out in the open. Everybody know that. But it’s the projects, and the truth is, don’t nobody seem to care what we do up in here.

Anyway, all the weed that get sold in Bronxwood go through Cal and his brothers. His oldest brother, Andre, run they whole business, and the middle brother, Greg, is in charge of the stash, where they keep all the drugs at. And they don’t only sell here, neither. Back in February, Andre moved over to the Eastchester projects over by Allerton to live with his girlfriend, and he just took over that place too, like one building at a time, and from what I know, them dealers that was there before wasn’t all that happy ’bout it. Matter of fact, ’bout three, four months ago, Andre was shot in the leg by somebody over there at Eastchester and he still limping from that shit.

Not that he let that bullet stop him. If anything, he more determined now. Couple months ago, he started spreading out even more, and now he got dudes selling for him in the South Bronx, Harlem, and even Brooklyn.

Smartest thing I did was to stay the fuck out they business, which ain’t as easy as I thought it was gonna be, ’cause dudes is making money. Living with them all this time and always being the broke nigga, it’s hard.

After ’bout a half hour of us standing there bullshitting, Cal say, “Look, I gotta tell you something, but I don’t know if you gonna wanna hear this.”

“What?”

“About a hour ago, when I first came out here, I seen Novisha across the street, coming outta her building and walking to the bus stop. And she was with some dude.”

“I know,” I say. “I seen them ’fore I left.”

“Ty, this ain’t the first time I seen her with that dude. While you was gone, she was with him a couple times, walking up and down the block, and they was—”

“I don’t care,” I tell him.

“You okay with it?”

I shrug. “I’m through, that’s all.”

Cal look at me, like, am I serious? But he should know by now I am. He was there. He know what that girl put me through. “A’ight,” he go. “Whatever you say.”

Then just ’cause he keep on staring at me and I don’t wanna look at him, I look over his shoulder, ’cross the street over by Novisha building. Not that I think I’ma see her or nothing. It’s not like she be hanging out in front of her building. I been back living here since the end of January, and I ain’t hardly ever seen her outside, ’cept when she be going to school and coming home. And this summer she been away most of the time, being some kinda volunteer counselor at this Bible camp thing her church run, and the
only reason I know that is ’cause I heard her moms telling somebody ’bout it one day.

And now I’m standing here and I don’t know why I cut Cal off. I shoulda least found out what they was doing, if he seen Novisha kissing that guy or something. But how I’ma ask him now and not get him thinking Novisha still mean something to me when she don’t?

Then I see Adonna. She coming out her building with this girl Asia and they walking and laughing and shit. Adonna still got on them little shorts, and Asia wearing these tight white pants. For real, both them girls looking good.

I keep my eyes on them for a while, then tell Cal, “I been getting vibes from her all summer.”

“Asia?”

“Nah, Adonna.”

Cal bust out laughing. “You crazy, dude. Adonna don’t give guys ’round here no play. Never did. Can’t even see her messing with no project nigga.”

“I know when a girl like me, and I’m telling you, she on it.”

“Tell me one dude she ever got with ’round here.”

“I’ma be the first,” I tell him. Then before he can say anything else, I pick my backpack up off the ground and go down the path, heading straight ’cross the street to catch up with them girls. And ’cause I know Cal watching me, I walk with a little extra swagger. I need to be smooth if I’ma try and step to Adonna.

The girls slow down when they see me coming, and I get in the middle of them and start walking down the street with them. “Where y’all beautiful ladies going?”

“The store,” Asia say. “For my mom. For the third time today.” She look pissed off too. “Can’t wait for school to start so I don’t gotta be her slave all day no more.”

“Don’t even say that,” Adonna say. “I don’t wanna think about school starting.
Summer
didn’t even start for me yet.”

“Why?” I say. “You not having no fun?”

Adonna roll her eyes. “None. I thought this was gonna be the best summer, with me going to parties and hanging out and meeting people. Only, I got stuck at stupid summer school, and—” Asia cut her off by busting out laughing, and Adonna look at her like she wanna kill her or something. “As I was saying, I’m in summer school, and by the time it’s over, I’m gonna miss half the summer without doing anything except hanging around here. I didn’t get to the beach once, and that’s not the kinda summer I was made for. I was made for fun!” She laugh at her own self.

She so cute. Damn. I can’t even think what it would be like if she was my girl. A female like that, she could make me feel real good.

We turn the corner and cut through the shopping center parking lot. A couple times I let them go ahead of me, just enough so I can get a good look at them asses. And they nice ones too. Both of them. I’m sweating and shit, and it don’t got nothing to do with the heat neither.

When we get near the store, I ask Asia how much stuff she gotta buy for her moms. She say, “All she needs is a couple of potatoes and some garlic salt. Of course she couldn’t think of those things two hours ago, the last time she made me come here.”

To be honest, something ’bout girls with bad attitudes that I like. But it ain’t Asia I’m trying to talk to.

Right before we go into the store, I make my move. I grab Adonna hand and say, “Stay out here and talk to me.”

Asia look back over her shoulder at us, but she keep going inside. And that’s all good ’cause now I get Adonna to myself for a while. Me and her stand there for a second, then this Puerto Rican lady come up behind us and practically knock us out the way ’cause we blocking the door, so I keep holding Adonna hand and bring her over by the side of the store. I lean up against the wall and she stand in front of me, and it look like she waiting for me to say something. So I go, “The summer only half over. You could still go to the beach. And I’ma take you.”

“Yeah?” she ask, smiling, being all sexy and whatnot.

“Yeah. I can see me and you there on the beach. And you gonna be in one of them red bikinis. No, black. And you gonna be looking mad sexy in that black bikini.”

She look me right in the eye. “You couldn’t handle seeing me in a black bikini.”

“For real?” I’m staring right back at her. “You look that good?”

She laugh. “Me, I know how to work it!” And she start shaking her hips and being all funny.

I laugh with her, and I’m getting excited, but I don’t want her seeing it. So I try and change the subject and get my mind off it. “What you girls doin’ tonight? Y’all should hang out at my place, have some fun. It’s Friday night.”

“I don’t know,” she say. “Depends on what Asia wants to do.” But something ’bout the way she say it, I can tell she wanna spend some time with me. I mean, least she thinking ’bout it.

“A’ight, but if she don’t wanna, just you come. Me and you can watch TV and stuff.”

“I don’t know,” she say again.

Adonna probably don’t wanna dump her friend for a guy. Some girls is like that. And I get it. It’s cool.

Me and Adonna talk a little more ’til Asia come out the store, and then we all walk back ’cross the parking lot and, I ain’t gonna lie, I’m thinkin’ ’bout what I would hafta do to get both them girls upstairs with me, in my bed, ’cause that shit would be wild.

Yeah, I know it’s a fantasy. I ain’t crazy. It ain’t never gonna happen. Not only that, but I know I gotta be smart. If I make a move to get them both, I’ma end up fucking up things with Adonna even before they get started. She still the one I want. Just her. A brotha can’t be greedy.

While Asia go upstairs and drop off the stuff for her moms, me and Adonna stay downstairs in front of her building, talking. Well, trying to. Some guy with a Navigator is pumping music for the whole fucking projects to hear, and it ain’t easy talking over it.

By the time Asia come back outside, my throat hurt from yelling, but I still talk them both into coming over to my place. I ain’t really sure how I do it, but I guess they just as bored as me. And there ain’t nothing else to do ’round here.

When Cal see me going in the building with both them girls, me and him look at each other, and his face look like he wanna know how the fuck I made this happen. He just mad that he gotta be outside working on a Friday night, not having no fun like me.

Cal my boy, but his problems ain’t mines. Shit, I’m looking out for me. Anyway, I got more important things on my mind right now. Like what I’ma do with these two females when I get them upstairs.

A hour later, me and the girls is having a good time, but not
as good as I was hoping we was gonna have. We got the place to ourself, and I got a mix CD playing, one I put together at one of the parties I played in Atlanta. Shit is dope, if I do say so myself. Which I do. The girls is busy pouring vodka in cans of Pepsi and giggling and shit like they out they mind. Which don’t make no sense ’cause the little bit of vodka they drinking wouldn’t get a roach drunk, you ask me.

I’m on the couch with a forty in my hand, watching them. I ain’t drunk or nothing, but I’m definitely working on a nice buzz.

Only good thing is the apartment is actually clean now. Cal and Greg too lazy to do shit ’round here, so I know they got Keisha, this girl on the second floor, to come and clean up after them. She a nice girl that go to college and always need extra money. She do a good job too, and she don’t never steal nothing. Matter of fact, she been washing my
clothes for me since I got here. Girl do pickup, wash, dry, fold, and drop-off, all for like fifteen dollars a load.

And she braid my hair for me for thirty.

Asia put her Pepsi down and start dancing, or what she think is dancing anyway. All she doing is shaking her ass and laughing at herself. But even while she dancing, she keep looking at the time on the cable box. Her moms don’t play, and she told her to get her ass home by ten. It ain’t even nine yet, but she getting paranoid. And we ain’t even smoking no weed.

Not that we couldn’t. That’s the one thing we always got, living here. Might not got no bread or chopped meat or nothing we actually need, but we always got a little weed.

“Stop looking at that clock,” I tell Asia as Adonna come over to the couch and sit next to me — close, but not close enough.

She laugh. “Y’all don’t know my mom. That woman got a little craziness in her. She would go off if she found out I’m over here.” She still dancing ’round like a crackhead. “How’d you end up living here with these dealers anyway?”

“Long story,” I say, not sure how much to tell the girls. “Me and my moms wasn’t getting along, so I came here.”

None of the girls say anything, but they look like they feeling sorry for me or something, and I don’t want none of that. So I say, “When I first got here, man, it was bad. Cal had me sleeping in his room on the top bunk bed. I
couldn’t even sit up without cracking my skull on the ceiling.”

The girls laugh.

“Me and him living in one room, man, that got old fast. We was fighting, like, every day and I thought he was ’bout to throw me outta here. Then when his brother — y’all know Andre, right?” They both nod ’cause who don’t know Andre, the biggest weed dealer we ever had at Bronxwood? “When Andre moved out, it got better here ’cause me and Cal don’t gotta be sleeping in the same room no more, and I don’t hafta listen to no more of his snoring and farting. And I don’t gotta climb up no ladder no more just to get some sleep.”

The girls laugh again, and I laugh with them even though there wasn’t nothing funny ’bout it back then.

“You’re not selling drugs, are you?” Adonna ask, turning her body in my direction and looking at me serious. And I take that as a good sign, that maybe she care ’bout me or something.

“Nah,” I say. “You know I’m a DJ, not no drug dealer.”

“You were good at the block party,” she say. “Everybody around here was talking about how the music this year was so much better than it used to be.”

“Yeah, that was fun,” I say, smiling. “’Specially when I seen Ms. Lucas from Building D coming down the street, and I put on the oldest record my pops had, something from, like, the seventies or something, and that woman got
in the middle of the street and started doing this crazy dance. And everybody was clapping and that just got her goin’. Man, I thought she was gonna break her hip or something. I been laughing ’bout that all summer.”

“I can’t believe I missed that,” Adonna say, getting up to get another Pepsi. She open the can and pour a couple drops of vodka in it, and I wish she would put a little more ’cause maybe then she would loosen up and we could start having some fun already.

Before Adonna could come back and sit next to me again, Asia grab her hand and make Adonna start dancing with her. They both dancing with soda cans in they hands. After a minute they try to get me up to dance with them, but that ain’t gonna happen. I can just see Cal face now if he walk in and see us dancing like three assholes with nothing better to do with ourself. But while I’m watching them, my mind go back there, and maybe it’s the buzz I got, but first thing out my mouth is, “Y’all should kiss.”

They bust out laughing. Both of them.

“Yeah, right,” Asia say, putting her hands on her hips and giving me one of them looks like she think I’m outta my mind for even saying that. Even though I was just asking. I mean, they can’t blame a guy for trying, right?

“Me and Asia don’t go that way,” Adonna say. “We’re friends.
Friends.”

They start giggling again.

“I just want y’all to kiss like friends. But on the lips. That’s all.”

“Hell, no,” Asia say to me, then turn to Adonna and go, “No offense.”

Adonna pout. “You didn’t have to say it like that!”

I ain’t think she could get no cuter, but man, she just did.

Asia look up at the cable box again, and this time I do too. It’s something after nine and I don’t know what make me think this, but I’m like, damn, my pops been out a whole fucking day practically and he ain’t even call me to see if I’m alive or nothing. That just tell me how much he think ’bout me.

I put the forty to my mouth and down the rest of the bottle while the girls dance and laugh and do everything ’cept kiss. For a couple minutes it’s like I’m not even still here with them. I mean, it’s not like I thought my pops was gonna call me the second they let his ass outta jail, but fuck, he ain’t seen me in a year. Think he would wanna see how his own kid is doing.

But guess not.

Forty-five minutes later, the girls is acting even drunker.
Acting.
’Cause, my opinion, that bottle of vodka is just as full as it was when they got here. They probably just don’t get out all that much and they happy to be anywhere ’cept they own apartments.

I’m starting to feel kinda good myself. Not only ’cause I ain’t sitting here by myself, but ’cause maybe it’s a good thing I ain’t heard from my pops. Maybe that mean he ain’t gonna come ’round here and try and take control of my life. Maybe he know I’m on my own and being my own man now, and I don’t need him the way I used to back when I was little, back when I used to think everything he did was right.

“I better go home,” Asia say. “But let me pee first.” She leave the living room and go down the hall.

The second she gone, I stand up and grab Adonna hand. “Why don’t you stay for a while? You don’t gotta be home now, right?”

“No, but—”

“Then stay.” I know it sound like I’m begging, but I can’t help it. Ain’t nothing I want more right now than for her to stay and maybe gimme some.

“What’s this?” Adonna ask, acting like she just notice this chain I got ’round my neck. She touch it and get this little smile on her face. “It’s nice and heavy.”

I don’t say nothing ’cause this is just Adonna being herself.

“Can I wear it, just ’til I see you next time?”

“Nah. It’s my pops.” For a second, I think ’bout telling her that he got out today and he gonna want it back, but then she probably gonna ask questions ’bout him, and
that’s only gonna fuck up the whole mood I’m trying to get going here.

“You sure I can’t borrow it?” She acting even more sexier than normal, smiling up at me and showing off them long eyelashes.

And it’s starting to work on me. “I, I don’t know,” I say.

“Just for a few days. I’ll take good care of it. Promise.” She already turning the chain ’round, and next thing I know she unhooking it and taking it off, like I already told her it was alright or something. When she get the chain off me, she hand it to me and turn ’round. “Put it on for me.”

Damn, she good. I put my pops chain ’round her neck and she turn back and face me.

“How does it look? Good, right?”

“Yeah, but don’t get too used to it ’cause it ain’t mines.”

“I know, I know.”

It do look good on her too. I grab hold of both her hands and say, “Stay here for a little while.” I lower my voice and stare into her eyes. “C’mon, I wanna spend some time with you.”

She kinda smile. “You do?”

“Course, you know I’m into you.”

“Yeah? Well, what about Novisha?” The way she say it, it’s like she challenging me or something.

I look down for a half a second, then look in her eyes again so she won’t think I’m trying to hide something. “Me
and Novisha is through,” I say. And that ain’t a lie neither. “That girl is my past. Me and you could be the future, you know what I’m sayin’?”

We both looking into each other eyes now and from what I see, she look like she wanna believe me, but she ain’t sure. A lot of girls don’t be trusting dudes, and I can’t blame them really ’cause most of the time we be flat-out lying. But I’m for real this time. I mean, yeah, everything I just said ’bout the future was bullshit, but if the future is just for now, maybe me and her could hook up.

We still holding hands when Asia come back to the living room. “Walk us home, Tyrell,” she say. It ain’t no question, the way she say it, so I grab my keys out my backpack and we go.

Outside, in front of the building, I’m glad Cal standing by some woman car, too busy talking to her to see me leaving with the girls. I been knowing Cal so long, no doubt he could just take one look at me and know nothing happened with me and them.

We cross the street and walk down the path to Building G. Asia walking mad fast like if she one minute late, her moms is gonna put her foot up her ass. Which might be true if what they say ’bout her moms ’round here is true.

The second I step foot in the lobby it hit me that this the first time I been in this building since when me and Novisha was together. Back then, I was over here all the time, like it was my second home. Matter of fact, when I
was living in that shelter, Novisha apartment was the only place that felt like home to me.

The elevator come and while we inside I figure it’s my last chance to try again ’cause I ain’t one to give up easy. “C’mon,” I say to them. “Kiss.”

And this time, I don’t know if it’s the ounce of vodka they split between them or what, but this time Asia lean over and give Adonna a kiss on the lips, and even though it don’t last more than a second, it’s hot. And damn, it get me so excited I think I’ma catch fire or something.

I’m smiling so big my face hurt. “Yeah, that’s what I’m talking ’bout.” And we all bust out laughing like we crazy.

When the elevator pass the ninth floor, Novisha floor, it don’t even faze me ’cause I’m having too much fun with these girls to even think ’bout Novisha. Things is different now. Shit change.

We get to Asia floor, and me and Adonna stay in the elevator, holding the doors open while she go down the hall, waiting for her to get in her apartment. Gotta do my job and make sure these girls is safe. Not that Bronxwood is the worse projects in the Bronx or nothing, ’cause they got way worse places. But still, there do be some scary dudes living here, violent motherfuckers that don’t need to be up in here.

Asia live all the way at the end of the hall, so before she get to her door, the elevator alarm start going off. But, still, I wait ’til she inside her apartment before letting the doors
close. Then Adonna press 19, and as soon as we moving up again, I make my move. I put my arms ’round her waist and pull her close to me and bring my lips on hers. And this ain’t no kinda kiss that two girls give each other when they think they drunk. We kissing for real. I got my tongue practically down her throat and we breathing on each other all hot and shit. Damn, it feel good.

So good we don’t stop when we get to 19. I hear the doors open and close and for a minute the elevator don’t move off that floor. But then we on our way down again and all I’m thinking is that I’m kissing Adonna Singleton. And she kissing me back.

This is what I need. I need someone new, somebody to be into, that could make me feel this way. ’Cause it’s been a while. “Come back to my place,” I say to her. “Don’t think ’bout it. Just do it.”

Her lips is like a inch away from mines. “I can’t,” she say. “I—”

I kiss her again, just to remind her what she thinkin’ ’bout giving up on tonight.

But right after I move my lips off hers, she say again, “I can’t.” Only thing, she sound like maybe she getting weaker now. She want me. I don’t got no doubts ’bout that. “I’m not like that,” she tell me.

“Like what?”

Before she can answer me, the elevator get back down to the lobby and the doors open up. And damn if it ain’t Adonna
brother Kenny, wheeling boxes of them icees and sodas and shit from his truck into the elevator on a hand truck.

Dude got the worst fucking timing I ever seen.

“Where y’all going?” he ask Adonna.

“Nowhere,” she say. “Not that it’s any of your business anyway.”

Kenny look at me all suspicious and whatnot. “You leaving, Tyrell?”

“Yeah,” I go. “I was gonna make sure Adonna got home safe first.”

Kenny stop the doors before they close behind him. “Good. But you don’t need to no more. I’m here now.”

Damn. Kenny is such a asshole. It’s like he know I was trying to get some from his sister and he making hisself her personal bodyguard or something. What, he don’t think she old enough to make up her own mind ’bout what she do?

Adonna look kinda mad, but instead of telling her brother to go fuck hisself, she shrug at me and tell me she gonna see me tomorrow if I’m ’round. She say it like me and her wasn’t kissing just now. Like I’m just some dude she only know by hi and bye. I mean, I know she probably don’t want her brother to know what she was just doing, but she don’t gotta be like this neither.

“A’ight,” I tell her. “See ya ’round.” And I walk out the elevator and out the building, not really knowing what just happened and how my night got so fucked up so fast.
’Cause this whole night coulda turned out way better. I coulda been walking Adonna back ’cross the street, holding hands with her, knowin’ me and her was ’bout to have ourself some fun. Instead I’m walking ’cross the street by myself. Back to Building A.