Brotherhood 02 - Broken Promise (23 page)

Austin stood with his hands braced on either end of the mantle and stared into the lifeless embers. The various shades of gray and black resembled how his heart would look if he could pull it from his chest and examine it. Instead of a healthy heart that beat with life, his would be dull, lifeless ashes that didn’t have anything living to hold them together.

He would never forget the night he’d spent with Sarah. He’d always remember what it had felt like to hold her in his arms, to gather her to him. To be inside her.

His fingers clutched the edge of the mantle until his hands ached. How could he survive without her? How could he live every day of the rest of his life knowing she would never be a part of it?

He wasn’t sure he could.

He pushed himself away from the fireplace and walked to the sidebar. He lifted one of the crystal decanters filled with Harrison’s finest whiskey and poured a small amount into a glass. He drank the contents then set the glass back onto the sidebar.

“I hope you haven’t been here long,” Harrison said from the doorway.

“I just arrived.”

“Good. You don’t want to get too much of a start on the rest of us. I have a feeling that after Penderly introduces his grandson there will be plenty of celebratory toasts.”

“Or perhaps just plenty of drinking,” Austin added. “I can’t imagine that all of Penderly’s family will be overjoyed to discover the title won’t pass to one of them.”

“Money’s always a great motivator, and Penderly is rumored to be wealthy enough to compete with the Queen.” Harrison tossed another swallow of whiskey into Austin’s glass, then poured one for himself. “How sure are you that Penderly’s oldest nephew is behind the attempts?”

“The facts say he is.”

“What facts?”

“He’s the one Penderly sent to Wakemoor to gather the details concerning Fledgemont’s accident. He was the one the vicar told that Lady Fledgemont had given birth to a son. No one knew about Jonathan’s existence. He didn’t tell Penderly when he returned.”

Harrison tipped his glass and drank, then set it back on the sideboard.

“What are you thinking, Harry?”

“Nothing. It just doesn’t give me much pleasure to know someone of Dunstan’s character would stoop to such measures.”

“Are you acquainted with Penderly’s nephew?”

Harrison nodded, then sat in one of the chairs. “When Fledgemont eloped, Dunstan stepped in to help Penderly run the estates. For someone so young, he has a remarkable head on his shoulders and made several wise decisions that garnered Penderly enviable profits.”

“Are you saying you have doubts that Dunstan can be involved?”

“Not that. Money and power are huge motivators. I just hate to see a man with such a future resort to such measures.”

Austin took the chair opposite Harrison and finished his whiskey. “Well, we’ll find out in a few hours. Penderly intends to announce that they will take the babe to the country tomorrow. If our killer wants to eliminate the future earl while he’s still within reach, he’ll have to make his move tonight. It would be terribly difficult to slip in and out of Penderly Manor with the staff Penderly has.”

“Is everything in place?”

“Yes. Jonathan went to Penderly’s under armed guard earlier this afternoon and Penderly promised he wouldn’t let him out of his sight. We’ll go soon so we can arrive before the rest.”

Austin looked up when the door opened and Liddy stormed into the room. Gabe was close on her heels and wore an expression that told his friends to tread lightly.

“Uh-oh,” he heard Harrison mumble when she came to an abrupt halt in front of his chair. No one enjoyed facing Liddy when she was angry. And from the look on her face, Austin suspected she’d passed angry several minutes ago.

“Did you know that all of Sarah’s belongings have been moved to the Earl of Penderly’s town house?”

“Yes,” he answered. “I wanted to thank you for accompanying her when she went shopping this morning. She was very pleased with the gowns you helped her pick out. She isn’t sure when she’ll have a chance to come to Lond—”

Liddy slashed her hand through the air and Austin halted in mid sentence. “I don’t care about her gowns, Austin. It’s Sarah! She’s gone, too.”

“I know.” Austin had seen Harrison’s servants come for her trunks and load them on a cart. He’d escorted her and Jonathan to the carriage himself, then watched as the carriage carried her away from him. The raw ache was still too new and painful.

“Why?”

“Why, what, Liddy?”

“Why are you doing this? How can you let her go?”

He turned his back on his sister and walked to the other side of the room. He’d asked himself that same question over and over, especially since last night. And he wasn’t sure the answer made sense to him anymore.

“What do you suggest I do?” he said when he turned.

“Stop her!”

“How?”

“I don’t know. You love each other. There has to be a way.”

He couldn’t stop from laughing. “Just because you and Gabe found love doesn’t mean the rest of us will.”

“Yes it does! You already have. I knew it the first time I saw the two of you together. How do you think I knew Sarah wasn’t who she pretended to be?”

Austin tried to follow what Liddy was saying. “What do you mean? I thought you’d met Collette Flemming before. I thought that was how you knew she was an imposter.”

“Collette Flemming was an actress! I’ve never met an actress in my life.”

“Then, how did you know Sarah wasn’t Lady Fledgemont? I’d been with her for weeks and didn’t have a clue she wasn’t who she pretended to be.”

“Oh, men can be so blind. I only had to see the two of you look at each other once to know that Sarah was head over ears in love with you. A woman so much in love with her husband as Lady Fledgemont was rumored to be would mourn him for at least half her lifetime. Or longer. No insult intended, Austin, but the real Lady Fledgemont wouldn’t have even noticed you.”

“Thank you, my dear.”

“Oh, don’t pretend to be insulted. Just answer my question. How are you going to make Sarah stay with you?”

Austin lost his grip on his temper. “I don’t know. What would keep you from abandoning Rachel if someone took her away?”

Liddy staggered back a step and gripped the nearest chair. A vast cavern of silence filled the seconds as his sister’s huge blue eyes filled with tears. “Oh, Austin. What are you going to do?”

Austin looked at his empty glass and wished it were full. He’d do anything for Sarah to be able to forget the promise she’d made Lady Fledgemont. Anything for Sarah to want to stay with him more than she wanted to go with Jonathan. But therein lay the core of his dilemma. She was loyal to a fault. She’d given her word she’d stay with Jonathan and she would keep it. He’d known that from the beginning. She’d only asked one thing of him—that she would never have to give Jonathan up.

He’d promised her she wouldn’t, so now he would have to keep his promise. “Are you ready to go?” he asked, setting his glass on the table.

This would be the last night he’d be with Sarah. For as much as he didn’t want this night to come, he was anxious to see her again. He wanted to spend every moment he could with her.

He walked to the door without looking to see whether anyone followed. He didn’t care about anything other than seeing Sarah this last time.

…

Sarah stood at the nursery window and watched the street below. He should be here any moment.

She checked the empty street from both ways then looked to where Jonathan was taking his bottle. His chubby feet moved as he ate and she smiled. She’d missed him so much the weeks she’d been separated from him, but she had him back now. And she wouldn’t be parted from him again.

So, what was wrong with her? Why did her heart ache with a loneliness that was equal to the all-consuming pain she suffered when she was separated from Jonathan? She tried to convince herself the hurt would go away once they’d eliminated the man responsible for the attempts on Jonathan’s life and she could take Jonathan to the country and watch him grow.

But she was terrified that the emptiness would never go away if Austin wasn’t there with her.

How had this happened to her? Jonathan was her life. She loved him as if he was her own. And in many ways, he was. She’d been a mother to him. How could any mother give up her child? How could she break the promise she’d made Lady Fledgemont.

But how could she live her life without Austin?

She breathed a ragged sigh that caused a heavy weight to press against her heart. She wasn’t sure how she would manage, but she knew she must.

The door opened and she looked up. Lady Penderly entered.

Sarah tried to hide the worry from her face as Lady Penderly walked toward her. Her gaze automatically shifted to where Jonathan finished eating. Overwhelming love filled her eyes and her face glowed with a brightness that sent warm rays through Sarah’s breast.

“I knew I’d find you here,” Lady Penderly said. “You haven’t left Jonathan’s side since he arrived.”

“It’s where I’m used to being,” Sarah answered. “Until he went to Major Talbot’s, he hadn’t been out of my sight from the day he was born.”

“We owe you a great deal, Sarah. I know how much you love Jonathan. And I know how difficult it was for you to reveal him to us.”

Heat warmed Sarah’s cheeks. Lady Penderly had no idea how difficult it had been to tell them about Jonathan, how close she’d come to keeping Jonathan’s identity a secret. For just this reason. He would be hers alone as long as no one knew who he was. Now that they did, she’d have to share him.

“You brought us our grandson,” Lady Penderly continued. “You kept him safe, and Johnny and I want you to know that you will always have a place with us. We’ll never separate you from Jonathan.”

Sarah’s eyes filled with tears. “Thank you, ma’am. You don’t know how grateful I am for that. I love Jonathan as if he were my own.”

“It’s obvious that you do.” Lady Penderly gathered Sarah’s hands in her own and squeezed them lovingly. “Our son made a wise decision when he hired you. Jonathan is a very lucky lad to have had you in his life.”

Lady Penderly kept Sarah’s hands and gently squeezed her fingers. “I want you to know one more thing, Sarah.”

Sarah waited for Lady Penderly to continue.

“Any debt you think you owe Jonathan, or my son, or his wife, has been paid in full. You deserve to find your own happiness. Jonathan will have a full life. Penderly and I will see to that. We want you to be happy. You’ve done all that was expected of you. And more.”

Lady Penderly held Sarah’s hands a few more seconds, then released them. She turned to where Jonathan sat contentedly on the nurse’s lap. He’d finished eating. “Oh,” she said, clutching her hands to her breast. “Look at him. He’s perfect, isn’t he?”

Sarah’s smile broadened. “Yes, ma’am. He’s perfect.”

“I still can’t believe how much he resembles his father. Gregory had those same blue eyes and that curly blond hair. He was always such a happy baby.”

“So is Jonathan.”

Lady Penderly walked to the chair where the nurse sat with him. “When Gregory died in the riding accident, Penderly and I were devastated. Then Jarrod was killed in France. For a long time I thought my world had ended. My concern for Penderly pulled me out of the darkness. He took the boys’ deaths in a different way than I did. He was inconsolable. He blamed himself because of the words he’d had with Gregory. But then Captain Landwell came to see us. You have no idea how much it meant to us to know that he’d been with Jarrod when he died.”

Lady Penderly must have seen the surprise on Sarah’s face. “You didn’t know that, did you?”

“No.”

“Captain Landwell had been severely injured in France, but as soon as he was able, he came to see us, to personally tell us what a fine soldier Jarrod was and how he regretted not being able to prevent our son’s death. That was why Johnny went to see him to find you.”

She smiled. “Well, not
you
, but rather the woman we thought was our daughter. We knew the captain wouldn’t give up until he brought us the only family we had left. We had no idea that what he’d bring us would be so special. But I should have known if there was something more he could give us to make up for Jarrod’s death, he’d do it.”

Sarah frowned. What a strange thing for Lady Penderly to say. “I’m not sure I know what you mean,” she said.

“Oh, it’s just a feeling I have. Mothers get these suspicions concerning their children.”

“What do you feel?”

“That what Captain Landwell told us concerning Jarrod isn’t all there is. That there are certain details about Jarrod’s death he kept from us. Details for which Captain Landwell feels responsible.”

“Do you know what those details might be?”

She shook her head. “No, and I don’t intend to ask.” Her eyes filled with sadness. “There are some things about their children a mother doesn’t want to know. Knowing that they suffered before they died is one of them.”

“You’re a very brave woman, Lady Penderly.”

Lady Penderly’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m not the one who is brave. Captain Landwell is. He not only carries the weight of my son’s death, but hundreds of other young men as well. I hope some day he finds someone with whom he can share his burden. I fear for him if he doesn’t.”

“Fear for him?”

“Yes. My husband knows men who aren’t able to live with the memories of war. Or the guilt.”

“Does he think Captain Landwell is one of those men?”

She nodded. “Since the day Captain Landwell came to see us that first time, he’s been convinced that Landwell carries a heavy weight of guilt.”

Sarah pondered what Lady Penderly said about Austin. She’d known from the start that something desperate drove him to find Jonathan. And to return him to Lord Penderly. If Lady Penderly was correct and Austin was burdened by guilt, she wanted to be the one to share his burden. Except how could she? She couldn’t have both Austin and Jonathan.

Sarah lowered her gaze to where Jonathan sat. Her future wasn’t with Austin. It was with Jonathan. And the burden she would carry for the rest of her life was that in keeping her promise to care for Jonathan she had to give up her dream of a life with Austin.