Brush of Shade (15 page)

Shade didn’t
wait for my response. Rooms and furniture streaked by. Before I knew it, we
were at the front door with Helena tucking my coat about my shoulders.

“My clan thanks you,
Helena,” Shade said in a low voice that wouldn’t carry.

“I abide by clan
rights. In the future, I suggest you do a better job with your charge. I will
go only so far. I have my job to consider. Elder Cassidy is correct. Voices are
churning and in need of direction. The longer this matter goes on the greater
the likelihood of someone connecting out of desperation. Protect our heir. Take
care, miss,” Helena said and then she kissed my cheek.

“I ran here,
Olivia. We must leave the same way. Brace
yourself
,”
Shade warned, scooping me up so I was cradled in his arms.

I gasped as we
shot forward in an explosion of speed. I listened for the sound of his
footsteps over the rushing air. Sticks and snow crunched softly. The dark
features of the forest blurred into a massive black shadow as the sun began to
dip below craggy peaks. Beneath my ear, his heart beat smooth and even as
though he wasn’t exerting himself.

“Don’t be
afraid,” he said.

“I’m not,” I
replied. “Actually, it’s exhilarating traveling like the wind.”

He shook his
head and kicked his speed into overdrive. “You must be in shock. I’ll have you
home in a couple minutes where you can be safe and warm.”

 “But
you’re warm,” I argued, smiling into his chest. “But I’m not so sure about the
safe part. Maybe we should’ve stuck to the road. It would be nice to make out a
branch or a boulder before we smash into it. Just so I can brace myself for the
impact.”

“I train on
these trails, and for the record, I do not smash into things,” he answered,
sounding very sure of
himself
. “I can see well enough
for the both of us.”

A minute or so
later, I heard the steady pounding of pavement beneath his boots, leading me
full throttle towards that upending future. Deep breaths were no use. “Slow
down.”

He sighed exasperatedly.
“Why must you be difficult?”

The crisp air
that stung my cheeks eased off. At the rate we were going, we’d be turning off
my lane in another breath or two. “I’d like to walk down the drive if you don’t
mind.”

“I do mind.” He
turned effortlessly onto the drive without slowing.

“Put me down.”

He growled but
slowed just a hair as we came around the curve.

“Put me down,” I
repeated, watching his face illuminated by our recently repaired yard light.
Brows dipped sharply, lips clenched, and a muscle in his jaw pulsed.
“Now!”
I shouted. Nestled securely in his firm grip, I felt
his body jerk as though he’d been snagged by an unseen wire. Fingers dug into
my skin. Arms thrust me against his rock, hard muscles,
smushing
my face into his chest. I felt a deep rumble beneath my ear.

“Don’t ever do
that again,” he said in a steely voice that shook with anger.

Comprehension
sunk in. “You had to stop. I’m right, aren’t I? I ordered you to stop and you
had to?” I touched his taut jaw, stubble moved beneath my fingers. “Did I hurt
you?”

“
Livi
, you’ve much to learn about dual obligations. Yes, I’m
duty bound to obey your orders. Unless, I determine that in doing so, I place
your life and health at greater risk. The final judgment is mine.” He paused,
taking a deep breath that he let out slowly, easing the tension across his
furrowed brow. “Any discomfort I may have experienced is my fault. I could’ve
slowed down more first.”

“Why didn’t you?
I don’t want you to be hurt for me. This is crazy.” He put a finger over my
lips to still my words.

“Never say crazy
in my presence. I chose to stop abruptly to demonstrate my allegiance whether
or not you understood my actions. It’s good that you’ve made the connection. It
shows that you’re able to appreciate our differences without panicking.”

Was that a smile
I detected? No more than a flicker. “I don’t want people following my orders,”
I said.

“You have no
choice. Inherited obligations, remember?”

“But I don’t
want this. I’m only in high school. Surely one of the elders . . .” Mr.
Cassidy’s avid face swam before my eyes. A warm puff of air glided across my
cheek.

“All is well.
Your clan stands at your side,” Shade said reassuringly.

A sense of
security washed over me. He started walking towards the house at a normal
person’s pace.

“Hold on.”

We stopped.

“Could we
discuss this inside, out of the weather?” he asked.

“You did that to
me. That warm breath, what you said, and the way you said it. You made me
relax.” I pushed back away from his chest and glared up at him. “You manipulated
me. You’ve done it before.”

“Yes.”

“Is that all
you’re going to say?”

“Everything I do
is for your wellbeing.”

“How convenient to have something to hide behind just to get your
way.”
I frowned and jabbed a finger against his chest. “I order you not
to do it to me anymore.”

“As I said, I
make the final determination as to what is best for your wellbeing. Your aunt
is at the window. We should go inside.”

“Don’t think
this is the end of this.”

“With you, I
don’t take anything for granted.”

In a rush of
air, we were on the porch and through the front door.

Aunt Claire spun
away from the window. “Olivia?
Shade?
What’s going on?
Where’s Trent?”

“Trent took
Olivia home for a visit with his parents,” Shade said, sounding angry again. “Elder
Cassidy decided to test Olivia.”

“What?” Aunt
Claire gasped. “Olivia, are you alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I
be? If Shade hadn’t shown up, Mr. Cassidy was going to have Helena force me to
touch her mind.” It wasn’t possible. But then, neither was practically flying
across the ground on footsteps as light as air. I drew a sharp breath, stepping
quickly towards the stairs now that Shade had set me down. “All these secrets,
just how many more are there? Were you ever going to tell me Danny was here?
People are looking to me to replace him like I know all about Whisperers and
pacts.” I backed up until my heel touched the bottom step.

“I see that
you’re upset,” Aunt Claire’s said, keeping her voice low and understanding.
“Let’s sit down and discuss what happened today.”

“It comes down
to either
it’s
real or it’s not. I’m crazy or I’m
not.” I saw Shade stiffen and scowl, but he remained silent, staring at my
aunt. “All this time I thought I’d gone mad. Maybe if you hadn’t been so busy
hiding away from this life and if Dad hadn’t been so afraid of losing another
child, I wouldn’t have been so convinced. If only you’d trusted me with the
truth,” I accused. I gulped in a breath of air, thinking of the psychiatrists
and my pills. “I’ve been carrying this around all these months!”

 “What are
you saying? What would possibly make you so certain that you were . . . crazy?”
My aunt stumbled over the word.

Under duress, my
brain had substituted the long, flowing limbs for something real that made
sense in the confusion and pain of the accident. Then later, in therapy
sessions, I’d completed the rationalization process, stuffing the memory out of
reach just to appear sane during the day. The cost had been an endless stream
of horrific nightmares of a shadowy figure with empty eyes and a murmuring,
silky voice. The ugly truth tumbled out in a rush of images.

I tripped up the
first step. “That night . . . disjointed tree limbs wafted and drifted like an
apparition through the broken windshield. Dad’s desperate pleading. Only it wasn’t
to a person.” I stared straight at Shade. “It was a Whisperer. Branches, no,” I
shook my head, “ghostly hands were on my face. Dad tried to push him off of
me.” I hugged my arms across my body squeezing hard. “It wasn’t my concussion,
or the lighting, or shock or my sanity was it?” I cried out, pleading for
answers that were anything but this truth, this twisted reality.

I scrambled
unsteadily, backward up three more steps, my eyes never leaving Shade’s. “I
thought the clans were peaceful. My father, he was the last warden. One of your
people killed him.”

“A Whisperer
would never kill your father. Olivia, calm down,” Aunt Claire begged. Shade
started forward. She grabbed his arm. “She’s hysterical. This is too much for
her. You should leave. I’ll call Dr. Long. He can give her something to calm
her down.”

Quite gently he
took her hand off his arm, and though he could’ve rushed me, he took each step
slowly with his hands out ready to catch me should I slip. “I swear I would
never harm you nor would the folks of your clan. We’re as loyal as the day the
Pact was first signed.” He paused and turned sideways on the step, bands
spiraled in his eyes as he looked from my aunt back to me. “If you say a
Whisper was involved, then I believe you.”

 “Because
obligation makes you agree with me?” I asked, holding my breath.

“No.”

“The evidence is
inconclusive,” Aunt Claire argued. “She was in a coma.”

Shade held up a
ghostly hand. “Don’t hide from the truth based on Olivia’s nightmares or her
difficulties in coping. Now that she is aware of the true nature of the valley,
we’ve the means to confirm her description of that night.”

“But a
Whisperer?” she choked, gripping the banister.

“A Rogue?”

“Can’t be.
We’ve not lost anyone.”

“Do we have a
tally from all the clans? What about the purist?” Shade demanded of my aunt.
“Never mind, I’ll check in with the Protectors Bureau. Things got heated during
the last council meeting Warden Ethan attended. Several
purist
made threatening noises, so I had to step in and escort the warden to his car.
I’ll check the individuals’ names with the enforcers to see if anyone stands
out.”

I couldn’t
follow their jumbled conversation. Shade believed me. I was in Spring Valley
with a murderer. I wasn’t crazy, although this new world stretched traditional
concepts of reality. I needed to think. I backed up the stairs, found the
landing, and fled to my room.

I had to come up
with a plan. First thing, I’d tell
JoAnna
I was
coming for the holidays. Once I got there, I wouldn’t leave. I’d be eighteen on
the thirtieth. The lawyers could handle the trust paperwork. I dragged my
suitcase out of the closet and dumped it on the bed. I hesitated. Aunt Claire
would never drive me to the airport. I could order Shade, but he’d only decide
it was against my best interest. Trent? No, he wouldn’t do it. I’d probably end
up back at his place. Defeated, I slumped down next to my suitcase. Dad had
gotten out; and they’d killed him. I stuffed my
earbuds
in my ears and rolled over onto my stomach, burying my face into my pillow,
avoiding my prison.

My traitorous
stomach woke me with its upset rumblings. According to my smiley face bedside
clock, it was almost eleven thirty at night. I snuck down the back stairs to
raid the refrigerator, treading carefully over the loose board, its squeak
sounding unnaturally loud in the confined space. Aunt Claire must have gone to
bed because it was dark downstairs as well. Sooner or later, preferably
tomorrow, we’d have to talk. Maybe in the light of day, Spring Valley wouldn’t
feel sinister.

The refrigerator
door opened, its light flooding the floor and the tall figure holding it open.
“Don’t just stand there. Hit the light switch,” Shade said.
“How
about some eggs?”
He rummaged for a moment and came out with the carton
and a jug of milk.

 “Why are
you still here?” I asked, refusing to budge now that I’d flipped on the light.

“I’m concerned
about you.”

“I’m fine.
Where’s Aunt Claire?”

“Stretched out on the sofa.
We’ll let her sleep for a couple
more minutes.”

“I’m going back
to bed. You can let yourself out.”

“I could hear
your stomach rumbling all the way down the stairs. You need to eat, and I’m a
fair cook.” He set the frying pan on the counter and stepped over to the table.
“Sit.” He pulled out a chair. “Please.”

“Only because I need food in my stomach to take my pills.”

“What, no
burning questions?”

“Does it matter?
I apparently don’t have a choice in my life anymore. Besides, I’m not likely to
get the truth,” I answered, tipping my chin up in challenge. I considered
ordering him to go home. He’d waited around for several hours, so it seemed
unlikely that he’d let something trivial like my order overrule his motives.
When Shade took the chair next to mine, I scooted over, putting space between
us. I heard an impatient sigh, but his voice was gentle when he spoke.

“Spring Valley
is your home and the clans your extended family. I haven’t answers to your
parents’ deaths. I promise you that I will look into the matter.”

I traced a
scratch in the wood with my index finger and noticed my nail polish needed to
come off. More details of my life slipping through the cracks. I let my mind
drift for a moment to contemplate what color to use next. What was I doing
thinking about something so inconsequential? Mom and Dad were dead. Shade and
this valley wanted to heap more weight onto my shoulders while that darn
boulder I’d climbed onto kept tipping. Could I really talk to Shade without
guarding my words and reactions?

I looked at him,
venturing a question. “Will you tell me what you find out?”

“I hold nothing
back from my warden.”

“Don’t call me
that. I’m not that. I don’t want to be.”

“I know,” he
replied with no trace of censor.

His kind
expression took me by surprise. “It means everything to you, but you’re alright
with me refusing?”

“Being alright
with your decision and understanding your reaction are two separate matters. It
has been engrained into the clan consciousness to function in a certain manner.
I could never accept not having a warden just like you couldn’t accept your
country being overseen by a different form of government. Even that isn’t a
fair comparison, but at this moment of awareness, that is as near as you can
understand. While your reasons for mistrusting the situation and disbelieving
the seemingly irrational are understandable and justified given your limited
perspective, I can’t let you make this choice out of fear. Too many lives and
long standing traditions require my championing.”

“So it’s true,
I’m a prisoner.”

“To fate as are
we all.”

“My father
didn’t bring me here like he did Danny.” My voice cracked. “Did it ever occur
to you that he never wanted me to get involved?”

“That isn’t
entirely true,” Aunt Claire said from the kitchen doorway. “Had Daniel not
died, it was your father’s intention to start bringing you here the summer
before you started high school. When Daniel spun out while driving home from
Gunnison, Ethan took it hard. He couldn’t stay here for any length of time.”

“You’re wrong,”
I shouted, coming off my chair. “Danny was visiting friends in New Hampshire.
The roads were slick and . . .” I sank back onto my seat. “I’m sick of lies.
Dad couldn’t even tell me the truth about Danny’s death because of this place.
My entire life is a lie.”

“Only the parts
that needed safe guarding,” my aunt replied. “Your parents loved you, that
truth you can carry with you. Certain decisions were made because your parents
didn’t want Spring Valley to have bad memories for you when your time came.
Ethan always had your best interest at heart, and that of the clans.”

“I’ve been
hearing that a lot lately. That doesn’t make this any easier.”

 “I expect
it doesn’t.” Aunt Claire kissed the top of my head before taking a seat at the
table. “But I do expect you to look at the situation with the maturity of a
young woman not an angry child. People are flawed. They just do the best they
can at the moment.”

I picked at my
chipped nail polish. “What was my dad trying to safeguard?”

 Aunt
Claire shook her head, but Shade answered anyways. “Whisperers by nature are
more volatile than their human cousins. For us, the transition to a civilized
culture came with a heavy price. In a world intolerant of anybody different,
our kind endured centuries of cruelty and abuse. Roland Pepperdine gave us the
gift of hope for a life free of persecution. His ancestors have kept us safe
from exploitation while giving purpose to our lives.”

My eyes opened
wider. “I’m supposed to do that? I can’t even get behind the wheel of a car or
sleep through the night.”

“Generally, the
warden is much older than a high school senior.”

A manila
envelope dropped onto the kitchen table. “I can do something about this,” Aunt
Claire announced.

“Claire, you don’t
want this,” Shade said, placing a hand on top of the envelope.

“My choice is to
force it on Olivia? Ethan didn’t want her burdened at a young age with the
problems of this valley.”

“I don’t
understand. This is the envelope left at our door when we first moved in.
What’s inside?” I asked, getting a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Council papers
that when signed will make me the next Warden of the Clans until you graduate
from college. Ethan had these drawn up after Daniel died. The current council
cannot dispute my position as Interim Warden.”

“Are you
certain?” Shade asked. “They won’t like it. They’ll make your term difficult.”

“I’ve heard the
rumblings; as I’m sure you have. Certain elders hope Olivia is too weak or too
frightened or out and out refuses, so they may appoint someone of the bloodline
they can control. Some see it as a chance to appoint someone from a different
clan to act as her advisor.”

“I’ve heard the
same. Too many see a young, inexperienced girl as an opportunity to advance
their agendas. What they want is a puppet.”

She tore open
the flap. “They can’t have Olivia.”

An ivory sheet
of paper was set onto the table. I leaned over and read the fancy script with
its exaggerated loops and curls that used legal terms to confirm what my aunt
had said.
“But what about your art?
You never wanted
this life?”

 “Not
wanting the position and not being able to do the job are two entirely
different scenarios. I’m not Ethan by a long measure, but I’m not the push-over
they’ve deluded themselves into imagining. I’ll manage. We Pepperdine’s always
do.”

I said nothing
as my aunt signed away her gypsy lifestyle. Just like that. No debating, no
questioning, she just did it, for me.

Though I
appreciated her gesture, I was still preoccupied by the limitation set on my
freedom. Four years of college then what? Return here and take up my obligated
role just because some ancestor I’d never heard of had befriended these people?
No way, I had plans for my life. Across the table Shade’s watchful gaze unnerved
me, chipping away at my confidence. Finally, my stomach started to rumble, and
he got up to make my eggs.

“You look
exhausted. Go to bed,” Aunt Claire said when I’d scraped my plate clean.

Shade looked up
from reading the document. “I hate to bring this is up given today’s
unpleasantness, but there is one matter that must be resolved.”

“Not tonight.
Things always look better in the morning,” Aunt Claire replied. Her voice was
thin, exhausted.

Shade’s strange
crystal-blue eyes grew more troubled as his stare lengthened. I was afraid to
voice my question, afraid that I already knew the answer. “You want what Mr.
Cassidy wanted, don’t you? You want to test me?” I said, my breathing coming
faster now.

“It would go a
long way to appease the council. I know you’re frightened and the incident at
the Cassidy’s only fueled your distrust, but I swear I would never harm you.”

My voice came
out rough when I asked, “Would my father want this?”

“Yes,” Aunt
Claire replied without hesitation. A bittersweet smile flickered across her
face. “It was never Ethan’s intention to deprive you of the wonders of a
connection to the collective voices of our people. A Pepperdine’s first joining
is more than a symbolic gesture. At its onset, the testing of Pepperdine
candidates allowed for the selection of the individual with the ability to link
the deepest and to call out strongly to the people as a unifying voice. Not all
wardens have been equally capable. Your father was blessed with a deep, rich
call. In your case, the council needs reassurance that you haven’t been too
traumatized to connect.”

“Mr. Cassidy
said Danny showed promise. Dad only had faith in Daniel?” I asked, although it
came out more like an accusation.

“Don’t do that
to yourself. Your father’s legacy now lives on in you. You’ll see when you’re
ready,” Aunt Claire said, patting my hand. “Your parents were always proud of
you.”

“They wouldn’t
be now. Helena touched me and I couldn’t move.” I swallowed hard, my fork
tapping against the side of the plate. “I can’t tolerate not being able to
move. It’s like after the accident. I know it sounds cowardly, but I can’t do
this test thing if it means that.”

“Oh, Olivia,”
Aunt Claire cried, getting up from her seat to come over to my side of the
table. She hugged me tightly and said fiercely, staring at Shade, “They had no
right to immobilize my niece. The council will be informed that no one may
conduct an unauthorized test.” She pulled back and looked directly at me this
time. “No one will bother you again. Now that the warden issue is temporarily
resolved, the elders will settle down.”

I wasn’t
convinced that it was just anxiety amongst the clans that had led to Mr.
Cassidy’s bold attempt. He didn’t strike me as the sort to be overly concerned
with procedure.

Shade gave my arm
a reassuring squeeze. “I won’t let anyone frighten you or force you to do
anything against your will.”

He was too
intuitive, or was I just that easy to read? “What else do I have to look
forward to besides being immobilized?”

“Whispers don’t go
around immobilizing whomever they want. We have rules,” he answered.

“Punishments?
Or are elders above the law?”

“No one is above
the Pact. But sometimes we have to tread carefully,” he said diplomatically.

I swung my head
towards my aunt, “Mr. Cassidy could treat me like that and folks will look the
other way? You’re not going to do anything? A second ago you were furious.”

“You aren’t
naïve. You understand plenty how politics is played out.”

“Then what is
the point of being the warden? Why
have
one at all?”

“The warden
facilitates disputes and guides the people along a safe, mutually profitable
course. The warden ensures the secret is secure,” she answered.

“Well I have a
dispute with Mr. Cassidy, and I want something done.”

“Don’t be
childish. I can’t punish an elder for immobilizing a frightened teenage girl,”
Aunt Claire said, her voice turning annoyed. “Trust me; that will be the spin
he’ll put on the situation. This isn’t the time to stir up discord within the
community. I know it doesn’t seem fair, but that is the real world.”

“Fine,” I said,
although I was far from it. Too much was going on that I still didn’t
understand. Aunt Claire was the warden now, not me. Unless I wanted to take on
the obligation, I had to accept that I had no say in the matter. “So what does
a joining involve?” I asked, switching back to that nagging concern.

Aunt Claire
picked up my plate, yawned, and said tiredly, “Tomorrow.”

“I need to know
to help me sleep.”

“You’re being
difficult.”

“Allow me to
demonstrate,” Shade interrupted.

I expected a
drawn out explanation guaranteed to put my fears at ease with soothing nonsense
words that would not bear up under scrutiny. Anything to undo the damage Mr.
Cassidy had caused. Instead, Shade turned towards my aunt with his hands extended
on the table palm side up.

“You won’t enjoy
the contact. My thoughts and emotions are anxious to say the least,” Aunt
Claire warned as she placed her hands palm side down onto his.

“Shared joy,
shared pain, shared concerns all forge deeper bonds. Share yours and be
bolstered, Claire Pepperdine,” he replied in his slow, deep drawl.

I inched
forward, drawn to the intimate scene by my aunt’s tranquil expression. It was
nothing like I’d been expecting. There was none of the drama that had fueled
the atmosphere at the Cassidy’s. Had that been my doing triggered by my
irrational fears? Shade had been outraged. Had we both misjudged Mr. Cassidy? I
was so confused.