Brutal (12 page)

“I don't like name-droppers, and besides, it's not my problem. He did teach me to sing. At least punk. I listened to them for like a zillion hours the first time I got a Pistols CD.”

He walked around the drum set, and by the look in his eyes, I knew what he was going to do. I stood there with the guitar in my hand and watched him. He stopped in front of me, sighing. “If you're going to kiss me right now, you've got to know that I will not be a groupie. I'm not a rag doll to play with and discard once you're done having your fun.”

I smiled. “Me, kiss you?”

“Yeah, like this.” He leaned forward, and his lips were on mine. A second later, he withdrew. I licked my lips, the touch of him still on me.

“That was a lame kiss, groupie. I expect more from my fans.” Then I leaned forward, and we were blissfully sucking face with a Fender Stratocaster between us. If there was a heaven, I was in it. His hands went to my hips and he moved closer, his fingers roaming up my waist. Too high. I backed away. “Whoa. Slow down there, cowboy. I'm not a slut.”

He sighed. “Dang, I was hoping you were. I go after all the sluts.”

“Ha ha. I don't even know your last name.”

“Dorr.”

I stared at him. “Dorr? You're kidding, right?”

“No. You met my mom.”

“Yeah, but Theo Dorr?”

He nodded. “She thought it would be cute to subject me to never ending ridicule and humiliation.”

I laughed. “Theo Dorr. Is your full name Theodore Dorr?”

“No, just Theo. Theo Dorr at your service. And if you don't stop making fun of me, I'll play Yellow Pages man again. Let my fingers do the walking.”

“And I'll play bust your head open with this guitar.”

He shrugged, glancing at my boobs. “They're nice.”

I played the first few chords of “Love Stinks,” and he got the picture. I sat on a stool. “So, what's going to happen with this whole Anna thing? Her dad obviously doesn't know what's going on, and practice is Monday morning.”

“Couldn't tell ya. Anna's not that bad, though.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, even though she writes love letters to dorks so they get harassed and abused by her buddies.”

He looked away. “I've known her ever since she was in first grade.”

I stared at him. “Don't even tell me …”

“Oh God, here it comes.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Yes, I was infatuated with her all through junior high.”

I laughed. “You and her? Oh my God, Theo.”

“Hey, she is hot, and before she got a stick wedged up her ass, she was nice. You've got to understand that there is
a mentality around here. Even if I'm on the outside, all the townies stick together.”

I rolled my eyes again. “And so the tribe has spoken. Is this going to cause a problem with her?”

“This?”

“Us.”

“We're an us?”

“Well, you did just kiss me, and I don't kiss boys unless I'm dating them.”

He smiled. “No problem. She hasn't spoken a word to me in two years.”

“Did you date?”

“Not even. I don't rise to the social caliber she needs to maintain her reputation.”

“Oh, a bitter love, then.”

“A little bit, but nothing I can't handle. And I wouldn't call it love anyway. I just wanted to have sex with her because she was the first seventh grader to get boobs.”

I smirked. “Typical male.”

He smiled. “Totally, and thank you very much. I pride myself on liking boobs.”

“So I'm dating a male chauvinist pig. Great.”

“No, you're dating a guy who likes boobs. I can't help it, and besides that, I don't think you'd like to date a guy who liked penises.”

I laughed. “True enough.”

“Actually, you're my first, uh, significant other unless you count Kathy Bean in second grade.”

“Really? She was your first girl, huh?”

“Yeah. She didn't like Tater Tots and I did, so she let me have hers.”

“Romantic.”

“I thought it was grounds for dating. Still do, as a matter of fact.”

“Well, you can have my Tater Tots.”

He shrugged. “I already tried.”

“Not those, jerk.”

He laughed. “Sorry. The opportunity arose.”

A sprinkle of rain misted my head and shoulders Monday
morning as I walked to school early. Choir practice. The big announcement. Vengeance on Anna Conrad dissolved as I walked, replaced with nervous anticipation. I hate the unknown, and just as Anna left my mind, the thought of walking into that room entered, leaving me feeling like a little girl on her way to the first day of kindergarten. I hoped Mrs. Baird would keep it low-key No gala cele bration for the new kid on the block, but a quick and easy slide in.

I almost hoped Mrs. Baird would take Anna aside to explain. Tell her in private, at least. Call it a moment of guilt or stupidity, but there were boundaries of evil I wasn't willing to cross, and Anna didn't deserve total and complete humiliation. As I entered the music building, I decided human empathy sucked. I was supposed to march in that room without an ounce of remorse and with a heaping plate of spite, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Easy to think, hard to do when it comes down to it. I thought of Theo saying she wasn't that bad, then thought about how I
felt when things like that happened to me. The sinking pit of doom in my stomach. The urge to melt to the floor and ooze through the cracks.

I almost didn't want to go in, but then I remembered: I was walking into a room to take the place of the lead vocalist for an award-winning choir based on nothing but talent.

As I entered, groups and clusters of kids lounged around waiting for practice to begin. I recognized some from my classes, even got a few smiles and nods, but most I didn't know. Then I saw Anna Conrad. The glance she gave me didn't speak of anything. Neutral compared to the surprised distaste in the look of the three girls with her. I guessed they were the other soloists. The Elite Choir was called that for a reason, it seems.

I set my bag down and took a seat, waiting. Six or eight stragglers came in after me, then Mrs. Baird walked in. She set a stack of files down and faced us. “Good morning, everybody. A gloomy day, but a good one to be inside and singing. Welcome.” She stepped forward, glancing at me before going on. “We have a new member and I'd like to introduce Poe Holly to you. My hope is that you'll welcome her with open arms and warmth. She's a fantastic singer, and one that will be a great addition to our group.” With that, she swept her arm to me.

I didn't stand but nodded, and thank God above Mrs. Baird went on. “Everybody, please take your positions on the stage and we'll get started.” Students filed onto the stage. Tiered platforms arced around the stage in a slight curve, and I stayed put, not knowing where to go. My eyes fell on Anna and the three girls she'd been talking to. She and two of the girls stepped to a separate area in the
center of the stage. The soloist positions. I stood, walking toward them.

Mrs. Baird glanced at them, then cleared her throat. I slowed. She spoke as she pointed. “Poe, if you'd like to take your place to the left of Angela, we'll begin.”

I looked at Mrs. Baird. “I don't know who …”

“Angela, please raise your hand.”

Angela raised her hand and smiled. From the second row of the main chorus singers. I faltered, staring at Mrs. Baird. She ignored me. The pit of doom in my stomach swooped in. My mouth went dry. The entire choir faced me, and I couldn't do anything. Every feeling I'd had about Anna Conrad came back to me. Now it was me, not her. I took my place.

One hour of me being too chicken to walk out of the room later had me and the rest of the chorus packing up our bags to head for regular classes. Mrs. Baird called me aside as the others left. I stood in front of her, a picture of serenity and peace covering a nuclear holocaust ready to explode. I said nothing. Mrs. Baird blinked, then cleared her throat. “You're probably wondering …”

“I'm not wondering.”

She looked at me. “When I spoke to Anna Conrad's parents about placing you as the lead soloist, they…”

“I said I'm not wondering.”

She sighed. “Poe …”

“What?”

“I'm sorry.”

I laughed, the sting of the knife in my back. “Sorry. Really? Gosh, let's throw a pity party for Poe because she got the shaft from a liar.”

Her eye twitched, and she put her hand on her desk. “When I told you I could put you on as the lead soloist, I spoke out of turn. There are other things at play here, and I apologize for that. But there is no reason to be confrontational here, and there's no reason for name-calling.”

I smiled wickedly. “I'm sorry, but I see a liar in front of me, and if you go look in a mirror, you will, too. Just calling it like I see it, Mrs. Baird. No politics involved, right? Just the truth.”

Her eyes narrowed. “That's enough.”

“Or what? You'll stab me in the back because Anna Conrad's parents pull your strings?” I rolled my eyes.

She shook her head. “Anna's parents don't pull my strings.”

“God, do you ever listen to yourself?”

“Excuse me?”

I laughed. “You sound like a complete idiot. Weak.” I turned and walked to the door, then turned back around, the anger spilling out. I raised my voice. “You and I both know the only reason I'm not in the soloist group is that once Anna's parents found out about it, they made calls.” I shook my head. “I bet you got all three soloists’ parents barking in your ear, huh? Then maybe the vice principal? Somebody from the district? Maybe they looked at my transcripts? My discipline report?”

She said nothing but shuffled, crossing her arms over her chest.

“That's what I thought. Can't have the trash front and center, now, can you? Talent my ass, lady. You suck.”

A pained expression came to her face, and I could tell she was sincere with it. “Poe, I can't—”

I interrupted her. “Can you answer one question for me, please?”

She closed her mouth, stared at me, then nodded.

“Do you enjoy being owned?” Then I turned and walked out.

Anna Conrad waited for me outside the choir room. She'd
heard the whole thing. I didn't even want to look at her. I thought about the party where her dad had smiled and winked at me about getting in the chorus, and I knew that he'd known. The joke was on me. I walked past her. Her voice rang out. “I don't agree.”

I stopped, turning around. “It would be a good thing to stay away from me.”

She inhaled, then let the breath out. “I know what happened.”

“Good for you. Maybe you could tell all your friends, too. I'm sure they'd get a kick out of it.”

She shook her head. “I haven't told anybody.”

I walked up to her. Velveeta flooded my mind. “Why'd you do it?”

She furrowed her brow. “What?”

“Velveeta. Why'd you write that letter?”

She blinked, caught by surprise. “I didn't know….” She sighed. “I didn't know they were going to do that. I thought it was just fun. Just teasing him a little.”

My hand swung in an arc, a flash of pale, and I slapped her. Hard. The sound echoed down the empty hall as she reeled and let out a squeal of pain. She came up with her hand on her face, defensive and waiting for me to attack. Blood seeped down her lip, and tears gathered in her eyes. As she licked the crimson from her mouth, a momentary flash of sickness went through me as I remembered Velveeta's battered face. But I stepped toward her, my eyes drilling hers. “Bitch.” Then I turned and walked away.

Theo met me at my locker before first period, all smiles compared to the thunderclouds over my head. His grin faltered, and he stopped short. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing. Bad day.” I grabbed my books and closed the locker.

He walked with me. “Ready?”

“For what? Armageddon?”

He laughed. “Man, you are in a bad mood. What happened?”

“Nothing. What should I be ready for?”

“Trading ID cards. Remember?”

The last thing I wanted to do was even be here, but I'd checked out the little black boxes placed everywhere, and I still didn't believe him. I took mine off. “Here.”

We traded, and he put mine on. “We'll meet here after first period and trade back.”

“What's going to happen?”

“They'll call you to the office and ask why you were in the wrong place. No biggie, really.”

First and second periods slogged by with nothing for me to do but think about choir, Mrs. Baird, slapping Anna Conrad, and what would happen because of it. Theo and I
traded back our ID cards after first period, and just before class let out second period, I got the call to the office like he said I would.

As I walked in the administration building, Theo stood at the counter, smiling at me. Ms. Appleway sat behind the counter dutifully ignoring Theo. I joined him. “You were right.”

He smiled. “Told ya.”

Ms. Appleway looked up. “Okay, you two. What's going on?”

Theo gave her a wide-eyed look of innocence. “Were all the sheep not in the pens, Ms. Appleway?”

She narrowed her eyes. “No, they weren't, Mr. Dorr. And don't pull any of your funny stuff on me. Cough up your excuse and get to class.”

He smiled. “Have I ever told you that I find older women incredibly attractive, Ms. Appleway? I simply wanted to be in your presence.”

She smiled, a twinkle in her eye. “I've half a mind to put you across my knee with a paddle to your butt.”

He sighed. “Okay, fine. Poe and I switched cards so I could prove to her that we're nothing more than inhuman bytes of information tracked by the evil big brother. She didn't believe me when I told her that we're heading toward a wonderful brave new world and that if a glitch in our productivity levels showed up, we would be sent here for social reconditioning.”

She looked to the counter, writing out passes. “That I won't argue, Mr. Dorr, but perhaps you should think twice about getting your friend here in trouble to prove a point. I'll be speaking to both your parents this afternoon.”

Theo took his pass when she handed it to him. “Trouble is the only trait that separates us from the milky-eyed masses, Ms. Appleway I cannot give up my humanity quite yet. At least not until KISS does another reunion tour. I missed the first one.”