Building the Perfect Daddy (16 page)

She'd lain awake for half the night wondering why Rob had come back to Charisma, to no avail. What she did know was that if he was determined to see her, he wouldn't wait too long to show up at her door again.

As soon as she was up and dressed, she called Jordyn and asked her if she could take the kids for a few hours. He was waiting on the front porch—sitting in her favorite chair with his feet propped up on the railing—when she returned.

She tucked her keys in her pocket, because she had no intention of unlocking the door and inviting him inside. “So the rumors are true,” she said.

“You heard I was back,” he guessed.

“Why are you here, Rob?”

“California was too far away from my wife and kids,” he said, his tone as deliberately casual as his pose.

“
Ex
-wife,” she said pointedly.

“You asked me to come back,” he reminded her. “To give us another chance to be a family.”

“That was eight months ago. I'd just given birth and still had a lot of drugs in my system,” she said by way of explanation.

“Don't tell me it's too late,” he said, the plea accompanied by his most charming smile.

That smile used to make her forgive him all manner of things, but it had no power over her anymore. “It's way past too late, so why don't you tell me what you really want?”

“I'm hurt that you don't trust I'm telling you the truth,” he said, his tone as false as the claim.

“I learned the hard way not to trust anything that comes out of your mouth,” she said bluntly.

He dropped his feet from the railing and stood up, moving closer to her. She had to tip her head back to meet his gaze, but she held her ground.

“We were married for five and a half years,” he said, lowering his voice to a more intimate tone. “I don't believe that your feelings for me are gone.”

“Our five-and-a-half-year marriage ended when you ran off with the twenty-two-year-old you were screwing in your office at The Locker Room.”

He finally took a step back. “Speaking of The Locker Room,” he said, pointedly ignoring the rest of her statement, “I went by the store and saw that you changed the name.”

“I've made a lot of changes there, and in the rest of my life,” she told him.

He nodded as he looked around. “New porch, new roof, new lover.”

She narrowed her gaze on him. “Is there a point to this or are you just talking out loud?”

“I was hoping you would deny that you're sleeping with your babysitter.”

“It's none of your business who I'm sleeping with,” she said, pleased that her cool tone gave no hint of the fury churning inside.

“I just never expected that you'd do something so...tawdry.”

She shrugged. “I couldn't find a hunky yoga instructor. And he's not the babysitter—he's Ryder Wallace.”

He seemed surprised by this revelation. “The host of that home renovation show?”

“Yes,” she admitted.

He shrugged. “Well, he's not your usual type, but I guess you saw the benefits of having a man around who didn't mind banging up some drywall after he finished banging you.”

She curled her fingers around the porch railing and managed to resist the urge to slap his smirking face. “You are every bit the ass that Tristyn always thought you were.”

“You think I don't know that your family never approved of me? That no one ever thought I was good enough for you?” he asked bitterly. “They all stood around watching me, waiting for me to fail.”

She shook her head. “I'm not going to claim that everyone was overjoyed when we told them we were getting married, but they would have done anything to support us because you were my husband. You were the only one who felt the need to compete with my family.”

Rob slid his foot along one of the new boards in the porch. “Did Daddy write a check for all of the work you've had done around here? Or did you have money hidden away that you failed to disclose when we settled our finances?”

“There were no assets—only debts,” she snapped back at him. “And most of those were your debts.”

“For richer or poorer,” he reminded her.

“So it was just the faithful part of the vows that you couldn't remember?” she challenged.

“Let's not throw stones,” he admonished.

“I'd rather throw you off my property, anyway,” she shot back.

“We bought this house together,” he reminded her.

“With money from my parents.”

“Money they gave to us in celebration of our marriage.”

She shook her head. “Have you rewritten our entire history in your mind?”

“We had a lot of good times together,” he said.

“The good times were a long time ago,” she told him. “And memory lane is closed.”

His tone grew cold. “I'm entitled to see my kids.”

Which was what she'd both anticipated and feared. And while she wanted to refuse, she knew that she couldn't. It didn't matter that he'd been a horrible husband or a neglectful parent—he was still the father of her children. And when she'd talked to her attorney earlier that morning, Shelly had warned her that Kylie's abandonment issues were as inconsequential as the fact that Zachary didn't even know his father. Absent evidence of abuse, no judge would deny Rob access to his children.

“They're not here right now,” she said, grateful that it was true.

“You can't stop me from seeing them,” he warned her.

“I don't want to stop you from seeing them,” she said, although that wasn't exactly true. “I just want to know the truth about why you're here and how long you're planning to stay before you turn their lives upside down.”

“I'm here because I missed my family,” he insisted.

“The daughter you barely spent any time with and the son you've never even seen because you took off before he was born?” she challenged.

He dropped his gaze. “I panicked,” he told her. “I knew the business was in trouble. I was barely bringing home enough money to pay the bills and put food on the table, and soon we were going to have another baby and another mouth to feed. I just couldn't bear to fail you.”

“And screwing the yoga instructor somehow fixed all of that?” she asked derisively.

“I made mistakes,” he admitted. “But I have the right to be with my kids.”

“I'm not going to oppose visitation,” she told him. She would fight tooth and nail if he tried to go after custody, but she was going to try to play nice—for now. “If you really want to see your children, meet us at Oakridge Park at two o'clock.”

Chapter Sixteen

W
hen Lauryn headed to the park with the kids, she didn't tell Kylie that her daddy would be there. She'd learned a long time ago not to count on her ex-husband for anything, and she didn't want her daughter to experience the same disappointment of being let down by a man she should be able to count on.

After all, the first man any little girl falls in love with is her father, and she knew that Rob's abandonment of his daughter had left deep scars. Thankfully, Kylie's life was filled with men she could depend on: her grandfather, her uncles and now Ryder.

But she couldn't think about Ryder now. She couldn't let herself be distracted.

It was a short walk to the park but the wind was brisk, and Lauryn was glad she'd put a hat and mittens on Kylie and tucked a blanket around Zachary.

“Can I go on the swings, Mama?” Kylie asked, as soon as the playground was within her sight.

“Of course,” Lauryn agreed. “But I think there's someone over by the slide who wants to see you.”

Kylie immediately pivoted in that direction, a bright smile lighting her whole face. “Wyder?”

“No, honey—it's Daddy.”

“Daddy?” Kylie echoed, sounding more confused than excited. “Daddy's in Califownia.”

“He came from California for a visit,” she explained, hoping he wouldn't stay much longer than that.

Kylie, so eager to skip ahead a moment ago, stuck close to her mother now.

Lauryn couldn't blame her daughter for being wary, and she hated that she'd felt compelled to make this visit happen. Just because Rob was here today wasn't any guarantee that he would be around tomorrow. In fact, she hoped he wouldn't be around tomorrow, but she was following her attorney's advice and cooperating—at least for now.

She bent down to unhook Zachary's belt, then lifted the baby from his stroller. He looked so much like her own father—actually both of her children favored the Garrett side—but the deep blue eyes that he shared with his sister were undoubtedly inherited from their dad. Would Rob recognize that fact? Would he feel anything when he looked at his son for the first time?

He crouched down in front of his daughter. “Hello, Kylie.”

She smiled a little shyly. “Hi, Daddy.”

“You've grown about six inches since I last saw you,” he told her.

“I'm in pweschool now.”

“Preschool already?” he said, sounding impressed.

“I'm fwee,” she said, holding up three fingers.

He nodded. “I know. You had a birthday in April.”

“Wif balloons an' choc'ate cupcakes.”

“I'm sorry I missed it,” he told her.

“You missed Zach's birfday, too. When he was borned.”

He nodded again. “I've missed a lot.”

“You were in Califownia,” she said, as if that was a perfectly reasonable explanation for everything. Then she turned to Lauryn. “Can I go on the swings now, Mama?”

“Go ahead.”

“You come push?” Kylie asked her.

“I'll be there in a minute,” she promised.

“I wasn't kidding about how big she is,” Rob remarked.

“You've been gone almost a year,” she reminded him. “And kids grow up fast.”

His gaze shifted to the baby. “Kylie was so little when she was born.”

“And Zachary was just a little bigger than her, but he was sixteen pounds at his last checkup.”

“Can I...hold him?”

“Of course,” she agreed. He'd been so hesitant with Kylie when she was a baby, but at almost nine months, Zachary was solid and sturdy.

Rob took the baby from her. He didn't look entirely comfortable holding his son, but she couldn't deny that he was making an effort.

“He has your eyes,” Lauryn pointed out to him.

“Do you think so?” Rob sounded pleased by this revelation and took a closer look at the baby now. “And your ears and your dad's chin.”

She nodded.

“We might have made some mistakes in our marriage,” he noted, “but we made beautiful babies together.”

“And you took their education savings along with all of the money from our joint accounts,” she reminded him. “What did you do with it?”

He couldn't meet her gaze as he admitted, “I invested in Roxi's yoga studio.”

“And ran that business into the ground, too?” she guessed.

“Actually, she's doing very well in California,” he told her. “Of course, it helps that more than one Hollywood A-lister has been seen entering and exiting ‘Yoga Rox.'”

“Yoga Rocks?” she echoed dubiously.

“Rox with an
x
—like Roxi,” he said.

And she'd worried that the Sports Destination's slogan was cheesy. “But if everything is going so well in California, why are you here?”

He sighed. “I didn't know where else to go.”

“She kicked you out, didn't she?”

“We decided that we wanted different things,” he hedged.

“What different things?”

“For starters, she wanted a baby,” he admitted. “And I decided that if I was going to be a father, it should be to the kids I already had.”

“How very noble,” she said dryly.

He shrugged. “And maybe I panicked a little.”

Again.

“Do you love her?” Lauryn asked him.

“I think I do,” he confided. “But I loved you, too, and I still screwed up. How do I know I won't do the same with Roxi?”

“You don't,” she said. “Love isn't perfect and relationships don't come with guarantees. You just have to be willing to open your heart and follow where it leads.” An important lesson that she was only starting to learn herself and only because of Ryder's presence in her life.

“Mama!” Kylie called, clearly growing impatient with waiting.

So Lauryn turned toward the swings, and her ex-husband, with their baby in his arms, walked beside her.

* * *

The first visit between Rob and the kids went well enough that her ex-husband asked if he could see them again the next day. While Lauryn intended to accommodate reasonable visitation, she didn't think two days in a row was either reasonable or in the best interests of her children, especially Kylie, who was as confused by her father's reappearance in her life as she'd been by his disappearance eleven months earlier. But she did agree to the day after that, and then two days after that again.

Ryder found Lauryn in her office, doing something on the computer, when he stopped by the store a few days later.

“You look busy,” he noted.

She glanced up and smiled, and he felt the now-familiar tug at his heart that warned he was well and truly hooked. The bigger surprise was that he didn't mind at all.

“Not too busy for you,” she promised. “What's up?”

“I had to make a trip to the hardware store to pick up grout for the bathroom and I thought I'd stop by to say hi.”

She clicked the mouse to save the updates, then pushed her chair away from the desk and crossed the room to kiss him. “Hi.”

He slid his arms around her and kissed her again, longer and deeper. “Hello.”

“Do you have time for lunch?” she asked him.

“Unfortunately not,” he said, sincerely regretful. “But we've been invited to dinner at Avery and Justin's tonight.”

“Oh, um, tonight?”

“Is there a problem with tonight?” he asked, surprised by her reluctance.

She nodded slowly. “I'm sorry, but I told Rob that he could take the kids out for pizza tonight.”

“He's not taking them on his own,” Ryder guessed.

“Of course not.”

“So you made plans to go out with your ex-husband and didn't tell me?” he noted.

“Because it has nothing to do with you.”

The matter-of-fact tone sliced into him as effectively as the words. And though he didn't respond, the flexing of the muscle in his jaw must have given away his feelings.

“And now you're mad,” she realized.

“Why would I be mad? I'm just the guy you're currently sleeping with—why would I care that you're having dinner with your ex-husband?
It has nothing to do with me
.”

She winced as he tossed the words back at her. “I didn't mean it like that.”

“I think you did mean it exactly like that.” And that truth was like a sucker punch to his gut. He turned toward the door.

Lauryn grabbed his arm, attempting to halt his retreat. “Ryder, please don't do this. Don't walk away mad.”

“Mad is the least of what I'm feeling right now,” he told her, his tone quiet and remarkably controlled despite the emotions churning inside him.

Her eyes filled with tears. “I'm sorry.”

He just shook his head.

“None of this has been easy for me,” she told him. “I'm trying to do what's best for my children. And as much as I wish Rob had never come back to Charisma, I can't pretend that he's not here. And I can't deny Kylie and Zachary the chance to know their father.”

“It takes a lot more than biology to be a father,” he said bluntly. “And a man who walked out on them once already doesn't deserve the title.”

“Maybe not,” she acknowledged. “But he's the only one they've got.”

“If you really believe that—” He shook his head, unable to speak aloud the words that would completely destroy what he'd thought they were building together.

Instead, he walked away.

* * *

His mood didn't change at all throughout the rest of the day, so he went home in a pissy mood and woke up Saturday morning the same way. But he was okay with that—he knew his anger and frustration were justified. What bothered him more, what churned inside his gut, was the hurt she'd so easily caused with a few casual and careless words.

His anger was manageable—he could pick up a sledgehammer and pound something until he'd taken the edge off. The hurt made him feel like a teenage girl dumped on prom night. And the two emotions tangled up together ensured that he was less than welcoming when he responded to the knock at his door.

“What are you doing here?” he asked his sister.

Avery held up the plate she carried. “Leftover coconut cream pie from the dinner you didn't show up for last night—I've eaten too much of it already and wanted to get it out of the house.”

Ryder stood back to allow her to enter, then he opened the kitchen drawer for a fork, peeled back the plastic wrap and dug into the pie.

“I didn't expect you to eat it now,” she said.

“I'm hungry now,” he told her.

“And grumpy,” she deduced. “Do you want to tell me what caused this particular mood you're in?”

“Nope.”

“Then I'll guess,” she warned.

“Don't.”

Avery sighed. “Does it have anything to do with Lauryn's ex-husband being back in town?”

He scowled. “How do you know about that?”

“My husband's a Garrett, too,” she reminded him. “And I'm sorry if it seems like I'm butting in, but I don't want you to get hurt.”

While he appreciated the sentiment, it was already too late.

“She's got a lot of baggage,” she said gently.

“Don't we all?”

“Not in the form of an ex-husband and two kids,” she pointed out. “And now that their father is back...”

“What?”

His sister sighed. “You need to understand that it's natural for most mothers to put the needs of their children ahead of their own.”

“You think I don't understand that?”

“I don't think you're prepared for the possibility that Lauryn might decide to give her ex-husband a second chance, to give her children back their father, and I'm afraid it will break your heart if she does.”

He couldn't deny that it would—or that his heart was already battered and bruised. And as uncomfortable as the feeling was, it was also a revelation.

“Did you know,” he said to his sister now, “that for a long time, I thought my legacy from our dear mom was to be as closed off and detached as she is?”

She looked at him, stunned. “Why would you ever believe such a thing?”

Ryder just shrugged. “How many guys get to be my age without having had their hearts broken at least once?”

“So why Lauryn?” she asked.

“I don't know,” he admitted. “There was just something there from the first time I set eyes on her. And I know this is going to sound corny as hell, but it's like my heart was locked up and she was the only one who had the key.”

His sister's eyes misted. “Damn, you really do love her, don't you?”

“I really do,” he said.

“Have you told her?” she asked.

He shook his head.

“Don't you think you should?”

“Not right now,” he decided. “Not when everything is so up in the air with her ex-husband.”

“But that's exactly when—and why—she needs to know how you feel,” Avery told him. “If he is making a play for Lauryn, she's going to be forced to make a choice—the father of her children who claims he made a mistake and still loves her? Or the fun-loving guy who's promised her nothing more than a good time?”

He scowled at that. “She knows how much I care about her.”

Avery gave him a pointed look. “You better hope she does.”