Bulletproof Mascara: A Novel (27 page)

“Yes, I really think I do,” she muttered at the screen. The computer scanned for the webcam and then directed her, through a series of universal pictograms, to place the headset on her head. Nikki jammed the headset on and clicked the Ready button.

“Just a moment,
NICOLE LANIER
, while we page your case worker.”

Nikki knew that it was a simple computer program that filled her name into the correct field for the pop-up button, but she couldn’t help feeling a little bit less alone. Someone knew she was out here. She had been recognized by the greater computer world of Carrie Mae. She belonged. A few moments later, Jane appeared on the screen, her three-cornered face delineated by Bettie Page bangs and red lipstick that Nell would have approved of.

“Hey, Nikki! Did you find Lawan?” Jane’s perky nature was at odds with her rebel wardrobe, but right in line with Carrie Mae culture.

“No, I . . .” Nikki said. She didn’t think she could explain the entire of chain of events, so she just skipped to the end. “I think
I used the Download feature on my phone to upload someone’s SIM card, but now I can’t find it. Did I totally mess it up?”

“I doubt it,” said Jane reassuringly. “Let me look.” There was a flurry of typing, and then Jane nodded. “You just e-mailed it to yourself. It’s the default setting. If you shut the phone without selecting an alternative, that’s what happens. Do you want me to sort through it for you and give you a report?”

“Can you?” asked Nikki, feeling guilty about passing her work to someone else.

“I’m your technical support,” Jane said. “It’s what I do!”

“Oh,” said Nikki. “Well, thanks.”

“No problem,” said Jane cheerfully. “What else can I help you with?”

“Uh, well . . .” She didn’t really want to confess her ineptitude to a relative stranger like Jane, even if she seemed nice. And she really didn’t want to discuss Z’ev with Mrs. Merrivel. It would be just too embarrassing. What she needed was a friend.

“I need to talk to someone, but I don’t know where they are or how to reach them.”

“I can find anyone,” said Jane confidently. “Who am I calling?”

“My friends Jenny or Ellen from the academy,” Nikki said, and Jane’s face sort of wrinkled up.

“We’re not really supposed to connect agents to agents,” she said, her fingers poised over the keyboard. “It could compromise all of your missions.”

“Yeah, I know,” said Nikki, “but they already know about parts of this one and I need their advice.”

“I’m not supposed to,” repeated Jane, looking apologetic.

“But you could if you wanted to?” Nikki pressed. “Please, Jane. Please, please. I really need their help. I can’t do this by myself. And besides, like I said, they already know about this
mission. It wouldn’t be putting them at risk any more than they already are.”

Jane stood up briefly, looking over the wall of her cubicle, then sat back down.

“I really can’t do that,” she said, holding up a tablet of writing paper on which she had written
NAMES
?

“You really can’t contact Jenny Baxter or Ellen Marson?” asked Nikki, catching on. “You can’t help at all?”

“No, I really can’t help,” said Jane flatly, her fingers flying over the keyboard. There was a ding, and Jane smiled. She scribbled briefly on the notepad again and then held it up to the camera.

LUCKY. ELLEN ONLINE. JUST A MINUTE. THEY WON’T BEER. TURNING OFF RECORDING NOW.

“They won’t beer?” Nikki read. Jane looked confused, then looked at her sign. Nikki could hear her scribbling on the paper and then she held up the sign again.
BEER
had been clarified heavily with a marker to read
HEAR
.

“Oh, right,” said Nikki. “Sorry.”

A second window opened on her screen, and Ellen appeared.

“Nikki?” Ellen said, squinting at her screen. “I don’t think we’re supposed to be doing this. Are you OK?”

“No!” Nikki burst out. “No, I’m not OK! I’m in Thailand and he’s back!”

“Who’s back? You’ve never been to Thailand. How can you be back in Thailand?”

“Not me! Z’ev. And that Sarkassian guy,” she added as an afterthought.

“Ooh!” exclaimed Ellen, clapping her hands. “You really liked him! Is he as cute as you remembered?”

“Yes!” Nikki wailed. “It’s a disaster!”

“What’s a disaster?” asked Jenny, appearing on-screen. “I just
got the page. Who are you? Who’s she?” she said, looking at Jane and then back at Nikki.

“I’m Jane.”

“She’s my case worker,” explained Nikki.

“You remember that guy from Canada?” said Ellen, ignoring both of them and diving straight into the topic at hand. “The one who picked Nikki up at a bar by proposing to her and took her to lunch with the mysterious foreign jerk-off where they had to pretend to be married?”

“Jerk-off?” repeated Jenny. “I must be rubbing off on you, but never mind. What about him?”

“He’s back!” Ellen said happily. “Well, they’re both in Thailand. So, not really back, but they’re there. Together, you know.”

“Yay!” exclaimed Jenny. “We liked him and he was funny. Well, this is good, right?” They both looked at Nikki, who was shaking her head. There was a crunch as Jane bit into a handful of popcorn.

“Don’t mind me,” she said. “I want to find out about Canada. Nikki’s life sounds more interesting than mine. I can’t even get picked up at a regular bar. Let alone proposed to. So the guy is a good thing?”

“It’s not good,” said Nikki. “It’s a disaster. I think they’ve done something bad. Or at least their friend might have. I don’t know what to do.”

“Wait,” Jenny said. “I’m lost. How did you get to Thailand in the first place?”

“I got partnered with Valerie Robinson. And Mrs. Merrivel’s friend is the wife of the ambassador to Thailand, and
her
friend is Lawan Chinnawat, who is missing. So Val and I came to find her.”

“Nikki’s life is definitely more interesting than mine,” said Jane.

“So where does the guy come in?” said Ellen. “And what was his name again? Something funny.”

“Z’ev,” Nikki said. “But he’s still pretending to be Jim Webster.”

“How old is he?” asked Jane, typing on her computer.

“I don’t know. Thirty-something?” answered Nikki.

“He’s a lawyer,” Ellen said in Jane’s direction. “Specializing in international shipping.”

“Uh-huh,” said Jane.

“And that Sarkassian guy is still with him,” continued Nikki. “Only now Z’ev is working for him. So I think maybe we’re still supposed to be married or something. But there’s this other guy, Victor, who we saw getting a handoff from the orderly at Lawan’s clinic. And we chased him, but then we lost him behind the elephant.”

“Hmm . . .” said Jane. “You said you were pretending to be married to this guy?”

“Yeah,” said Nikki. “I was Kim Webster.”

“Well, then apparently you got divorced three months ago.”

“What?” said the other three women at the same time.

“Check your screens. You’ll see a lovely picture of Nikki and our handsome bachelor from an engagement announcement in a Vancouver paper. Also, there’s a wedding certificate, and a divorce decree.”

“That’s the head shot from my passport picture!” Nikki shrieked.

“Photoshop is great,” said Jenny.

“Not great! I look like I’m on crack!”

“He looks good, though,” said Jenny.

“It’s not that bad,” Ellen said. “You just look a little vacant.”

“A little . . . that was majorly harsh, Ellen,” said Nikki.

“Sorry, dear, but passport pictures are never meant to pass for a wedding photo.”

“I can’t believe he divorced you without alimony. What a bastard,” said Jenny.

“Actually,” Jane said, “I think you’re all missing the bigger picture. You can’t just fake a Canadian wedding or divorce on a whim. This guy is soooo clearly not who he’s pretending to be. Did you say he had another name?”

“Z’ev,” said Nikki. “He said he was named after his grandfather and that Jim was his middle name.”

“Makes me wonder about that Sarkassian fellow,” said Ellen.

“Good point,” Jenny agreed. “Look him up, too, Jane.”

“Sure, what’s his name?”

“Jirair Sarkassian,” said Nikki. “He said he was in shipping. Armenian. Seemed bitter about it.”

Jane typed, and the girls waited. Eventually Jane shook her head.

“This is going to take longer. I’m dealing with a lot more databases and a lot fewer details.”

“Well, let’s get some details,” said Ellen. “What exactly happened tonight, Nikki? And where’s Mrs. Robinson?”

“With them,” said Nikki. Briefly she sketched an outline of the day for Jane and the girls.

“That all sounds extremely suspicious,” Ellen said when she was done.

“I know!” agreed Nikki.

“And I don’t like this Victor guy at all,” Jenny said.

“I know!” said Nikki.

“But Z’ev sounds kind of hot,” said Jane.

“I know,” Nikki said with a sigh.

“But what is Val thinking, running off without you?” Ellen demanded. “You’re supposed to be a team.”

“I know,” repeated Nikki, shifting uncomfortably in her chair, “but someone had to distract them and someone had to take Laura home. It just worked out that way.”

“But really, she should have left right after you, and then you all should have regrouped outside the club and left together,” Jenny said.

“Oh,” said Nikki. “I didn’t think of that. Yeah, you’re probably right. I wish you guys were here. I totally forget everything I know when I’m standing next to Val. She just sounds so certain all the time.”

“Well, just stay calm and you’ll make it through,” said Ellen. “You can do it.”

“Yeah,” said Jenny. “You’re our fearless leader. You can do anything!”

“Right, sure,” Nikki said, rolling her eyes. “Outright lies about my abilities aside, what am I supposed to tell Val?”

“About what?” asked Jenny, her brows furrowing.

“About Z’ev and Canada!” Nikki exclaimed. “What have we been talking about for the last hour?”

“Jeez, Jenny, keep up here,” said Jane, crunching through another handful of popcorn.

“Don’t make me come over there,” said Jenny, and Jane grinned. “Sorry,” Jenny continued. “I just didn’t realize Val didn’t know. Personally, I say don’t tell her anything.”

“You have to tell her,” Ellen said. “His behavior sounded suspicious when you first told us about it, and now I’m even more convinced. It affects the mission, and Val should know.”

“Hell, no,” said Jenny. “If she tells Val, then Val might pull her out of the mission.”

“Well, what if she tells Val, but skimps on the details,” sug
gested Jane. “Just be all, ‘I went to lunch with this guy and the other guy assumed we were married.’ Spin it like Nikki has this contact that they should pursue.”

“Well, that could work, I guess,” agreed Jenny grudgingly, then she looked over her shoulder and ducked a little. “Uh . . . time to go. Love you guys. Don’t die!”

“Love you, too,” Nikki said, startled by the proclamation, but feeling good about it. Jenny’s screen went dark, and Nikki looked back at Ellen.

“I’d better go, too,” said Ellen, looking thoughtful. “Jane, I’ll be around the computer a lot this week. Can you keep me updated?”

“I . . .” Jane looked uncomfortable, but shrugged. “Sure, what the hell?”

“Be careful, Nikki,” Ellen said. “Call if you need help. I still say tell Val.”

“I will,” agreed Nikki. Ellen disappeared and Nikki was left staring at Jane.

“Good friends,” Jane said. “I’ll keep looking into these guys. It’d help if you got pictures of Sarkassian and the Victor guy.”

“I’ll see what I can do. In the meantime, I guess I’ll just wait for Val to come back.” Jane nodded. “Have you ever worked for her before?” Nikki asked. “Is she always like this?”

“Pretty much,” said Jane with a shrug. “She just likes to do things her own way.”

“Yeah,” said Nikki. “Seems like.”

There was a knock on the door as Nikki hung up on Jane. And Nikki took a deep breath as she went to the door. They said confession was good for the soul, but she wasn’t looking forward to this.

THAILAND VI

Gun Shopping

The morning’s mission of procuring guns had seemed exciting and exotic, and Nikki entered the hotel lobby riding a small wave of adrenaline, which Val had squashed immediately by entering a very prosaic cab and proceeding to ignore her. Being ignored by a grumpy partner in a cab that smelled slightly of poultry was not at all the adventure Nikki had hoped for. And more than that, it gave her too much opportunity to make the confession she had somehow managed to avoid the night before. Nikki rationalized in her head that she’d barely had time to get a word in before Val had gone to her own room and so therefore it was not her fault, but the other half of her wasn’t buying the rationalization at all.

Nikki sat in the cab, scratched at the bead of sweat that was slowly forming on the inside of her arm, and stole sidelong glances at Val. Val sat on the other side of the cab and watched the traffic through the glass. The street was packed with an endless stretch of vehicles. People on bikes jockeyed for position among scooters, motorcycles, tuk-tuks, cars, and trucks.

“Er,” said Nikki, which she knew was not a strong beginning, but it was better than silence.

“Yes?” said Val, sighing, as if talking to Nikki made her tired.

“There’s something I should probably tell you.” Val grunted in a way that Nikki interpreted as an entreaty for her to continue. “Um . . . you know those guys? From last night?”

Val actually turned her face in Nikki’s direction, and Nikki stared into the vortex of Val’s black sunglasses. They seemed to swallow her reflection like a black hole.

“Yes?” said Val again, her voice flat.

“I’ve met them before,” said Nikki, forging ahead, intending to follow Ellen’s advice and tell the whole truth.

Val continued to stare at her.

“In Canada,” said Nikki, and abruptly chickened out. “I was at a bar and that lawyer guy was trying to pick me up and then the other guy came in and assumed we were married, and Jim said that if I played along I’d get a free lunch out of it. He said it was important because it was kind of an interview for him.”