Bullwhipped (A Cowboy Romance) (13 page)

“You need to talk to him. And it’s going to take a lot more than just a conversation. You can’t mend years of damage you caused that fast. Cale is angry. Any time you’re brought up, he’s tense. But that doesn’t mean you can’t try, Dean. Life is too short to not try if you really want to recover what you’ve both lost.”

“You’re right, Olivia.”

“Let’s give him some time to rest and we’ll go from there. Don’t be offended if he’s not up to seeing you. Give him time. He’ll eventually allow it. He’s a stubborn ass, as you put it, but keep at it.”

What was she saying? Would Cale get over what Dean had done to him? Would she be able to get over something like that if the tables were turned? She’d be pissed if someone shoved it on her, but that’s why they had to pace themselves. She didn’t expect it to happen over night. Even if it didn’t happen at all, at least they tried. She couldn’t judge Cale for keeping his distance. She’d never been in that kind of situation.

“I’m going to go check on him. I’ll let you know if he’s up to it once he wakes up, or if we’ll need to wait until he gets out of here.” Olivia reached out, touching Dean’s arm. “I know you’re trying. I’ll vouch for you.”

Olivia wanted off of this emotional rollercoaster. One minute she hated Dean and the next she was going to stand up for him? She really hoped she wasn’t making a huge mistake with this. The last thing she needed to do was overstep her boundaries with Cale and his father. When it came down to it, she really didn’t have much experience with either of them in this situation, but her gut was telling her she was progressing it in the right direction.

She smiled at the nurse, attempting to hide all of the turmoil brewing deep within her. Sitting beside Cale’s bed, she watched him sleep, relieved that his breathing had gotten back to normal and he was calm. Maybe rekindling the relationship with his father should wait. His physical recovery was more important.

***

Cale tried to roll on his side, but the pain was excruciating. For a second, he wondered if he was having a heart attack. His chest felt heavy and when he finally maneuvered to his back again, it subsided. Adjusting the cannula in his nose, he felt the fresh air pour into his nostrils, aiding in getting his breathing under control. Olivia was leaned back and snoozing in a chair. He was glad to see her resting, but how good was the sleep in such an uncomfortable position?

She must have felt his stare because she straightened and swiped her hand down her face, yawning. “Hey, Cale.”

“You need to go get some sleep in a real bed, Livie. There’s no reason to stay up here all the time. It’s just a waiting game.”

Standing, she offered him a cup of water and he took it, drinking it down like it was the last bit of water on the planet. The cold drink gave him an instant headache, and he scooted the cup across the table.

“I wouldn’t be able to sleep being away from you, Cale.”

“You’re worried.” It came out more as a statement than a question.

“Yeah, I am.”

“I hate seeing you so stressed. I’m going to be okay. Just another page added to my long medical record. Some guys have criminal records that stretch the length of a football field. Not me.” He laughed and fanned his fingers over hers. It was the first time he noticed the IV port in the back of his hand with several chords shooting out from under the medical tape. “Something tells me that you’re worried about more than just all of this.” He motioned his hands over his torso. “Talk to me, Livie.”

She heaved a deep sigh and looked up at the ceiling, tears gathering in her eyes. “I debated on whether or not to tell you about this. I brought it up yesterday when you were awake and you got very upset. I don’t want you to get that way again, not when you need to relax and take it easy.”

Cale tried to recollect what she was talking about, but his memory was failing him. He didn’t even remember waking up yesterday – just bits and pieces of the doctor coming in, but it was like a dream he couldn’t organize in his head. A bull had injured him and there was an issue with his lungs, but past that, he just knew he felt like crap and wanted out of the hospital.

“Just tell me. What’s going on?”

“Do you remember me talking about your dad yesterday?”

He swallowed, craving more water. “No. What about him?”

Olivia’s eyes widened. It was as if he had just responded in another language. “The doctor mentioned short-term memory loss.” Leaning over him, she kissed his forehead. “I guess I’ll tell you so you aren’t left hanging.” Sitting on the edge of the bed, she placed her hand on his thigh. Her touch through the thin sheet was soothing, but Cale’s pulse raced as he waited. The mention of memory loss scared the hell out of him, but her behavior was more terrifying.

“Talk to me, Livie. Please.”

“Your dad has been here since the day you were brought in. At first, Sammy and I were skeptical, but I confronted him.” She laughed and bit her bottom lip, looking down at the floor. “Hell, I laid right into him, Cale.”

Cale propped himself up on his elbows, ignoring his body’s warning to lay back down. “What happened?” Had his father hurt Olivia? He’d kill him if he did anything to her.

She went over everything she had said, right down to him staying around the waiting room this whole time, being patient. That wasn’t his father. Dean Warren would have rushed in here, ignoring Olivia’s warnings just to get to him and point out everything Cale had done wrong to land in the hospital bed. It was as if she was telling a fictional story. His dad wasn’t here out of concern. No way.

“He wants to see you, Cale, especially now that you’re awake. I told him if he’s lying to me and if he says anything hurtful, I’ll make sure he gets escorted out of here. I expected him to lash out, but he didn’t. He understood. I think I really got to him.”

Cale rested back into the pillow again, his body weak from just the small bit of exertion. “I… I’m not sure what to think.”

“I know I don’t know your dad the way you do, and if you think he’s trying to pull a fast one on me, I’ll understand. Maybe I’m being naïve.” She began to pace. “When I told you this stuff yesterday, you got really upset. Today you’re reacting a lot differently than I thought.”

“I’m just caught off guard. Yesterday is vague. It’s like I get flashes of memory, but I can’t tell what’s real and what I’ve just imagined, you know?”

“The doctor thinks that will be temporary.”

“I hope so, Livie. Is my dad here right now?”

She nodded. “He’s only left a few times to check on the ranch and get food.”

“Really?” Wow, that was something new. All of the other times Cale had been in the hospital, he only stuck around a few minutes at a time, just long enough to be hurtful and leave again. “He wants to talk to me?”

“He does, but if you’re not ready, we all understand.”

“Might as well do it. What better place than a hospital? Isn’t this where most people try to make things right?” He laughed, trying to find some humor in the confusing situation.

“Okay, Cale. I’ll go tell him. If he does anything to make you uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to let the nurse know. They’ll get him out of here.”

She left the room and Cale’s mind raced. How would this go? Did his dad really want to try? He’d find out shortly, and when he saw the older man approach the foot of his bed, his stomach dipped as if he had swallowed a brick. His mouth went dry and he didn’t say anything, hoping his father would break the silence first.

Dean took his hate off, his eyes sunken in like he hadn’t slept much. “Hey Cale. How are you feeling?”

It was awkward and Cale cringed. “Like I’ve been trampled by a bull, Dad.”

The corners of Dean’s eyes squinted and he smiled. “I guess I should just cut to the chase. I’m sure you’ve got your skepticism about all of this and I don’t want to wear you out.” He spun his cowboy hat in his hand. It was a nervous twitch. This was definitely a different side of his dad. “That girl out there really opened my eyes to some things. You being in here has opened my eyes.”

“She’s pretty amazing, isn’t she?” Cale asked.

“She’s a good one, yes. I’m sorry I ever doubted her and said those things. And I’m sorry that I’ve been the way I have with you. I know it’s going to take some time. I don’t expect you to hop right up and forgive me for all of the hell I put you through, but I’d like to work in that direction if you’ll let me.”

“You’re right. It will take time. I’ve got my own stuff to get over.” Cale tried to keep his emotions in check, but he couldn’t let go of all of the years of hatred and abuse his dad put him through. “I can’t just forget everything. I wish…” he stammered on his words, trying to search for the right things to say. “I wish that whatever the hell is going on in my head right now would’ve wiped out all of the memories of my childhood. All of those times you hurt me. Not just with your fists. Sometimes I preferred that to the painful words. Boys are taught not to cry because it makes us look weak, but you have no idea how many nights I cried myself to sleep, wishing you’d go away.” Cale’s eyes stung.

“I’m truly sorry for all of that, Cale. If I could go back and change it, I would.”

Cale swiped away the tears with the back of his hand, unable to look his father in the eye. “But you can’t. And I’ll have to accept that. All of this time, I wondered when things would change. I guess that’s why I had a hard time having a relationship with anyone. I figured I didn’t deserve it. You have me brainwashed. But then Olivia came along and things were different. She’s a blessing I didn’t think I deserved and I really wondered when she’d eventually leave me too.”

“She loves you, Cale. I don’t think she’s going away.”

Cale let out a sarcastic laugh. “Not your usual response. Just a few days ago you were saying she was just a fast woman who would only pose as a distraction.”

“You’re right. I did say that. I’ll apologize a million times for that if you want me to.”

“I guess you were just going off of what you knew about me, just like everyone else who knows me. Cale Warren – big drinker, rambling troublemaker, one night stand kind of guy. Leave them crying in the rain like that country song says.”

“There’s a future with you and Olivia. I’d like to be there for it. I’d like to be a grandpa. It might be too late to be a father to you, but I can try.”

Finally making eye contact with him, Cale felt a genuine smile part his lips. “Better late than never, I guess.” He extended his hand and his dad gripped it. “Just give me time. Can you do that?”

“Whatever you need, Cale. I’m here for you.”

“First things first – I gotta get out of this damn bed.”

A few more days had passed since Cale had talked with his dad. Olivia had seen quite the change in both men. Dean had been very helpful, bringing things to the hospital for both of them and Cale’s memory was slowly getting back to normal. He still had small lapses in things she had said to him, but it was nothing more than just having to repeat it a few times for it to finally click. The doctor was still concerned about the broken rib putting pressure on his lung, and talks of surgery had been passed around to try and get the bone set back where it needed to be. If Cale was in any pain, he was hiding it well – the only complaints he had were getting out of the hospital and back to riding.

He had been moved out of ICU and into a more private room. Olivia stood at the window, looking down from the third floor at the city below. Rain pattered against the glass and lightning lit up the sky.

“What’s on your mind, Livie?”

Turning, she glanced at Cale over her shoulder. It was after midnight and both of them were dealing with insomnia. “Just about the past few months. If someone had told me I’d be standing here right now, in a bull rider’s hospital room, I’d have laughed in their face.” She sat on the edge of his bed, smoothing her finger over his lips.

“I guess I could say the same thing. If someone had told me I would be in the same room as my dad for over five minutes without fighting, I’d have laughed too.”

“You’ve both come a long way. I’m proud of you, hon.”

“Lay beside me. I need you against me.” He scooted to give her some space and lifted the IV chords. She lay beside him, realizing how much she had missed his strong body beside her. “Just what I need. Better than any medicine.” He put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her as close to him as he could.

Leaning into him, she took it all in. His five o’clock shadow was starting to get thick, and she enjoyed the rugged look. The hospital gown was thin and she brushed her hand across his stomach.

“You go any lower and we’ll have some explaining to do. This is a new record broken for me.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s been over a week without sex. Won’t take much to get me going.”

Olivia laughed. “Wow, how are you handling it?

“Just the thought of what I’m going to do to you once I break free of this place keeps me going. You have no idea what you’re in for, Livie.”

She shivered at the thought. She had gone much longer than a week without sex, but since Cale had awakened the desire within her, she did long for him. “Don’t get too excited. They don’t give us much time between coming in here to check things.”

“Five minutes. That’s all I need right now.”

Olivia smirked and kissed his chin. “Get some sleep. We shouldn’t be awake right now.”

His hug tightened and she buried her face in the nape of his neck, her body finally relaxing. His breathing grew deeper, and she was certain he had finally dozed, but his voice vibrated in his throat, pulling her from her light sleep.

“You think I’m gonna need surgery?”

The mention of surgery made her heart skip a beat. She was tired of the waiting game. “I hope we find out soon.”

“Surgery scares the shit out of me, Livie.”

“I know, Cale. It scares me too, but it’ll make you feel better if they can get that rib back where it needs to be.” Olivia wondered why they hadn’t already done the surgery when they first discovered the possibility of the rib inflicting more damage. Maybe they wanted to see if it would heal on its own. Maybe they were waiting on Cale to get stronger before they put his body through more trauma. She’d never understand doctor’s reasoning for things.

He kissed the top of her head and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down against her. “It would be nice to be able to breathe again without it hurting.”

“Are you in pretty bad pain?”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

Leave it to Cale to downplay his injuries. “If you’re trying to put on a tough act to impress me, you’ve already won me over, hon. Hurting doesn’t make you look like less of a man.”

“It’s not too bad right now, really.” He yawned and his hug around her shoulders loosened. “Pretty tired… Goodnight, Livie. Love you.”

“Love you too.” She kept her face against his neck, feeling his smooth skin, his chest rise and fall as he relaxed, and took in his manly scent. Maybe the doctor would have good news for them in the morning. Surgery or not, things would be okay. They had to be.

She had a hard time sleeping, but feeling Cale beside her, his breathing steady, his body warm, was comforting. With the nurses coming in several times throughout the night, she wondered how he was even able to catch some sleep. She finally began to doze around four AM. Tomorrow they’d know more about the possible surgery and it made her stomach do back flips.

***

Cale woke up to the smell of food wafting into his nostrils. It made his stomach growl and though his appetite had been non-existent, the food looked halfway appetizing on the tray next to his bed. Reaching for the orange juice, he knocked a fork to the floor, cringing at the loud sound, hoping that Olivia didn’t hear the commotion. Her legs stretched out next to him and she murmured something he couldn’t understand.

“Shh, go back to sleep Livie.”

“What time is it?” Her eyes fluttered open and she sat up.

He glanced up at the clock on the wall. “A little after seven.”

Yawning, she smoothed her hands through her hair. Her locks were unruly and she was so cute when she was groggy. “You hungry?”

“Starving.”

She went around to the other side of the bed and edged the tray closer. “That’s really good to hear. You’re getting too skinny.”

He dug into the food, filling up quicker than anticipated. The bacon was perfect and though the eggs weren’t all that great, they still tasted like a delicacy.

“Not bad for hospital food,” he replied, licking his finger. Olivia stood at the foot of the bed, staring at him. “What’s wrong, babe?”

She yawned again and the dark circles around her eyes made Cale feel bad. “Just thinking. I hope the doctor does his rounds early. I know you want out of that bed. I want you out of that bed too, but we can’t rush it.”

He could only eat about half of the food before pushing it away. “Livie, why don’t you get out of here for a while? Go get some rest somewhere where they’re not constantly coming in to prod me with needles and take my vitals.”

“I don’t want to leave you here.”

“It won’t bug me a bit. Don’t get me wrong, Livie, it’s nice having you here, but I won’t think anything less if you have to step away. This place makes people crazy.”

“But you can’t leave.”

Cale smirked and arched his eyebrow. “But I’ve got some damn good drugs hooked up to this here IV. Sort of dulls the bad stuff.” He traced his finger down the rubber tubing, lifting it up.

Olivia laughed and sat on the bed. “You’re so full of it, Cale. You want to bust out of here.”

“Glad to see your smile. Just what the doctor ordered.”

Cale couldn’t have planned it better. Dr. Chambers knocked and entered, adjusting his stethoscope to listen to his chest. “Good morning, Cale. I see you’re eating a bit better.” He pressed the cold metal beneath his gown. “Take a deep breath and let it out for me.”

Cale did as told, and to his surprise, it wasn’t as challenging as before.

“Everything is sounding strong. Can you sit up for me?”

Cale expected to get dizzy and lose his breath, but it came much easier than just days before. Dr. Chambers listened closely, concentrating.

“Very good, Cale. You can lay back now. I looked over your chart. Your 02 has been steady. How’s your memory seem to be?”

Cale looked over at Olivia and back to him. “Still forgetting a few things, but you might ask Livie. She’s the one who has been around me the most.”

“It’s definitely better than when he was first waking up, Dr. Chambers.”

Nodding, he adjusted his white coat. “That’s good news.”

“You say I’m breathing better. I’m still hooked up to oxygen. How will it be once you take me off?” Surgery still was a question. He was scared to ask about it.

“We are slowly weaning you off. We had it almost as high as we can set it, but now we’re about halfway. The fact that you’re maintaining without as much assistance is a good sign. We mentioned possible surgery, but I think you’re in the clear. I’m going to have another x-ray ran just in case, but now that swelling has gone down, we’ve got a better vantage point. With your improvements, it’s definitely in favor of not putting you through surgery.”

Cale let out a deep breath and touched Olivia’s hand. “That’s great.” Another question was bugging him, and he feared what he’d be told.
Cowboy up.
He had to be a man about it. “Doc, will I be able to continue to bull ride?”

Dr. Chambers folded his arms over his chest. “That’s a question I’m not sure about at the moment. There’s a lot to take into consideration - your age, your medical history, and the shape that this most recent injury will leave you in. Once a lung is damaged it never truly heals back to the way it was before. It might not be a risk you want to take. Another trauma to your chest could be detrimental.”

It wasn’t what Cale wanted to hear, but something he had tried to prepare himself for. No matter how much he got ready for the day when he was told he should walk away from rodeo, it still hit him like a brick wall had toppled over him. Swallowing, he felt the eggs and bacon churn in his stomach.

“So our next steps are the x-ray?” His voice shook. So much for keeping a lid on his emotions.

“X-ray and we’ll continue to turn the oxygen down. I don’t want to put a damper on your future. It’s just something to consider.” Dr. Chambers patted his leg and smiled at Olivia. “If you have anymore questions, let me know. They’ll come do the x-ray soon.”

Cale and Olivia both thanked him as he shut the door, giving them privacy. Squeezing her hand, he stared up at the ceiling. “Good news and bad news. How about that?” he asked.

Olivia scooted in beside him again, pulling his head against her chest. Her embrace was comforting, helping alleviate the brunt of the doctor’s suggestion. She didn’t say anything and they both lay in silence, the only sound coming from the IV machine pumping his medication.

“Say something, Livie. What do you think?”

She massaged his head and kissed the top of it. “I think we need to take this all one step at a time. You’re not even discharged yet. Let’s get that done first and go from there.”

“I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t be in the rodeo anymore, Livie.” There was no way he could do it forever. There was no such thing as an old bull rider, but he figured he had a few more years left. “You’re right. Next up, Cale Warren gets zapped by radiological waves again.” He nudged her, his desperate attempt to lighten the mood failing. He looked up at her, smiling.

Her furrowed brow was replaced with a sexual hunger he hadn’t seen in what seemed like forever. Her hand skimmed down his chest and lower, the thin fabric of the hospital gown not serving as much of a barrier. Her fingers rested on the inside of his thigh, moving just enough to send a chill through him.

“It better not zap you too much. I hope we have some little Cale’s and Olivia’s running around one day.”

He bit his bottom lip to stifle a moan. “Like I said last night – you keep that up and we’re gonna have some explaining to do. It doesn’t take much to get me revved up these days.”

“These days?” Olivia kissed his forehead. “First things first, Cale. Let’s get you out of here and then we’ll worry about the rest later. Deal?”

“Deal. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Livie. You were sent to me just in time.” He rested against her again, closing his eyes. If they weren’t in a hospital bed with medical staff just on the other side of the door, things would have been perfect. “I can’t wait to make love to you again,” he said as he laid his arm over her stomach, unable to make enough contact with her to satisfy his need.

“It’ll be amazing, no doubt.”

The door swung open, along with a mobile x-ray machine. “Let’s do this,” Cale said, keeping Olivia’s words close to heart –
take things one step at a time.

***

Several days passed and Cale continued to improve. Olivia gathered up his belongings in his room and unfolded the clothes that his dad had brought him. Sammy and several other friends had come by to help take the large amounts of flowers and gifts he had received back to Dean’s house. She was overwhelmed with all of the help, support, and with the fact that though it took forever, Cale was finally getting discharged to go home.

Cale stared down at the packet of papers, his brow creased.

“What’s wrong?”

He shrugged and pulled his shirt over his head. “Just glancing over all of the stuff I gotta do. Physical therapy? I don’t know…” he trailed off and stepped into his jeans that now fit him baggy around the waist.

“I think it’s to help strengthen your lungs.” She took a second to admire him. He was finally able to shave and his color was getting back to normal. “I was starting to forget what you looked like in regular clothes. I’m gonna have to fatten you back up though.” She poked at him, caught off guard when he cupped the back of her head and pulled her in for a deep kiss.