Bumblestook: Book 1, The Accidental Wizard (11 page)

“How come you’re so red?” he asked.

Suddenly, the boy growled and lunged at him, hands outstretched like the claws of some wild animal! Surprised, Farley tried to step sideways out of his path, but stepped on his own shoelace instead. Unfortunately, as he fell he
accidentally
tripped the other boy, causing Nick to sail into the side of the castle!

The other kids shrieked and ran out, as the boy crashed through the wall. He landed on the floor, flat on his stomach, as the entire castle of Softblocks shuddered and collapsed on top of him!

At the front of the room, Miss Magooly discovered the strange paralysis had suddenly lifted, leaving her free to act. She leapt to her feet and flew across the room, just in time to see Nick Krumpke’s head emerge from beneath the pile of castle blocks. She stepped over the rubble and reached down to pull him up. Rising unsteadily, he looked up at her in a daze.

“Wha’ happened?” he asked.

“Don’t play the innocent with me, young man,” she snapped. “I saw the whole thing! You attacked Farley here, and don’t you deny it!” She gestured to Farley, who was just getting to his feet, apparently completely unharmed.

“Musta used some kinda Tae-Kwan-Do-Kung-Fu stuff on me,” Nick moaned, shaking his head at the double image he was seeing of Farley. As the two Farleys advanced on him, they grew larger and more menacing with every step.

“Sorry I tripped you, Nick,” the hideous Double Farley said, reaching for him with its monstrous hands. “It was an accident. Are you okay?”

Nick whimpered and clung to Miss Magooly. “Don’t let him touch me!” he begged.

The puzzled teacher looked from Farley (who stood with a sheepish grin on his face and one hand outstretched apologetically) to Nick, who cringed, hanging onto her skirt with both hands.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, young man, but it’s not gonna wash! You’re coming with me right now to the Principal’s office!” she scolded, hauling a strangely subdued Nick Krumpke across the room and out the door.

It wasn’t until later, after she had returned to the classroom, that Miss Magooly recalled Fiona’s face as she stood watching Farley confront Nick. It had been smooth and calm, without a trace of concern. In fact, the teacher now recalled uneasily, a faint smile had flickered about the corners of the girl’s perfect lips, as if Fiona had known all along that the bully would be defeated and Farley would walk away unscathed.

*********************************

The incident with Nick Krumpke was not the last of its kind. A year later, a similar showdown occurred with a small group of 6th graders, who got their kicks teasing the younger children whenever they thought they could get away with it.

One day, one of them (a plump piggy-face boy in a black, fake-leather jacket festooned with superfluous zippers) swaggered over, as Farley and Fiona sat together eating lunch in the cafeteria.

“Whatya doin’ there, little
baby
? Havin’ lunch with your
baby
girlfriend?” Leather-jacket said loudly, sniggering at his own clever observation.

His two cohorts, sensing an entertainment opportunity, hastened to join in the merriment. One of them, a tall, skinny girl (who fancied herself a model) cat-walked over to the table. She posed, planting one hand on a bony hip, while tossing back a long, straight curtain of blonde hair with the other. Energetically chewing a huge wad of gum, she emitted obnoxious snapping and popping noises as she looked down her nose at Farley and Fiona.

Pop! Snap! “Aren’t you babies a little young to be married?”

Farley giggled. “Nah! We’re not married! That’s silly! Izzun that funny, Fiona? They think we got married!”

Fiona turned her steady, unnervingly calm gaze on the older girl. The girl abruptly swallowed her gum and began to hack and cough in a most ungraceful manner.

The third member of the little gang, a thin boy (whose baggy pants and oversized t-shirt could have contained two of him) shoved his face an inch away from Farley’s nose. Farley’s eyes crossed as he tried to focus on the boy.

“Whachoo lookin’ at
baby
?” the boy snarled.

“I can see up your nose!” Farley replied cheerfully.

During this exchange, the students sitting nearby had quickly evacuated the area (not bothering to take their lunches with them) leaving Farley and Fiona alone with the gang of three. None of the other students could have explained it, but an invisible barrier seemed to have sprung up around the five children; a barrier none dared to cross.

Baggy-pants jerked back in confusion. “Whatsup with this kid—is he joking?” he asked his pals, genuinely bewildered as to why the funny-looking little kid wasn’t afraid of him.

Leather-jacket crossed his arms and glared at Farley. “Maybe he’s just too stupid!”

“Come on, Farley, it’s time to go,” Fiona said calmly, picking up her lunch tray and standing.

“Okay,” said Farley. “Bye guys!” He picked up his tray and followed Fiona, heading for the cart where the dirty lunch trays were stacked.

“Those guys are kinda cranky,” he remarked to Fiona. “Maybe they ate too much sugar!”

The gang of three stared after them in disbelief.
No
one just walked away from
them
! They rounded the table and started after their prey.

“Hey you! Charlie-Barley-Farley!” Leather-jacket called out, barreling down the aisle.

Farley was standing with his back to the three, dumping his leftovers into the garbage can next to the lunch tray cart. Turning at the sound of his name, his foot slipped on a bit of greasy food, causing him fall backwards! Flailing about, he reached out with one hand and grabbed the edge of the garbage can to keep from falling.
Fortunately
, he succeeded in righting himself.

Unfortunately
, his actions caused the can to tip over; spilling its slimy, stinking contents right
into the path of the bullies! All three slipped and fell, then slid into the lunch-tray cart, whereupon its contents of stacked, dirty trays cascaded down upon their heads!

After a moment of shocked silence, the cafeteria exploded with the laughter and shouts of the other students; accompanied by the high-pitched, wailing screech of Bubble-gum Girl, who sat in a pile of garbage with a heaping helping of Tuna Surprise on her head.

“Whoa.” Farley (completely unharmed and unsoiled) was stunned by horrible mess he had made. “Wow, you guys, I’m
really
sorry,” he said sincerely. “I dunno what happened! I didn’t
mean
ta spill the garbage. Here, let me help you up.” He stepped toward Leather-jacket, holding out his hand.

The groggy gang looked up, to see Farley morphing before their bleary eyes into three hulking figures with wild eyes and huge, hairy hands! They shrieked and shrank back against the cart, feet scrabbling in the heaps of garbage.

At that point, the lunch monitor (who finally realized all was not well) arrived to take charge of the situation. She was familiar with the three older students, having dealt with them before, but she’d never seen them cowering and fearful. And what was this? How could they be afraid of this darling little boy—why, surely there was never a more innocent child!

The woman’s eyes narrowed. Obviously, this was a ploy by the three troublemakers to put the blame for their mess on someone else. Well, they weren’t going to get away with it this time!

It was only later, after she had turned the three young thugs over to the principal, she remembered there had been somebody else present. A wisp of a girl, very pretty, standing off to the side; looking down at the three older students with just a hint of a smile upon her perfect lips.

*********************

From time to time, Farley continued to become involved in similar confrontations, although he never did anything to purposefully offend anyone. A certain type of personality just seemed drawn to him. Fiona liked to say he was a “bully-magnet”.

All of the incidents ended the same way; with Farley walking away unharmed, while his would-be attackers were the victims of a variety of bizarre accidents. They also never bothered him again; going out of their way to put plenty of space between themselves, the funny-looking kid and his “spooky” girlfriend.

The big grey rock in the Bumblestook’s front yard was an ancient being of infinite patience. It had been formed long ago from the very lifeblood of the Earth, rising molten-hot from the fiery Core. In the beginning it had gushed, hot-headed and rash, through an opening in the Earth’s crust. Then, it had been part of a collective consciousness, similar to a swarm of bees; its thoughts full of liquid fury as it flowed over, around and through everything in its path.

Later, its mind grew sluggish as it cooled and solidified in Earth’s primeval atmosphere. One hundred days were but an hour, one hundred years as a day. Its thoughts (though ponderously slow) spanned the breadth, width and plumbed the depths of the entire planet. It traveled slowly across the Earth’s surface, riding the massive tectonic plates; maintaining a connection to the Earth’s central consciousness (the Core) through the many cracks and fissures in the crust. Its concerns were those of the planet; the movement of the plates, the ebb and flow of magma, the formation of mountain ranges.

Still later, its world-view was shattered, as a series of violent earthquakes caused it to split off from the original vast form, severing its connection to the Core. There followed a period of disorientation as it moved with unaccustomed speed; flying, bouncing and rolling over the Earth’s buckling crust. Eventually it came to rest, settling in a valley at the foot of a newly-formed mountain range.

Gradually, it became aware of itself as a separate being, with considerably smaller physical boundaries. As if to compensate for the decrease in size, the speed of its thoughts (though still slow by Human standards) increased. It developed a sophisticated system of electromagnetic sensing, in order to “view” the world above-ground.

It became aware of life-forms it had never noticed before. These creatures lived lives that were fast and furious; nearly incomprehensible to the age-old being. Some had roots that anchored them to the Earth’s crust; enabling the rock to establish a limited form of communication. Others were constantly on the move, not properly rooted to the Earth; making communication difficult, if not impossible. It turned its attention to the study of the mobile beings; storing the data in its vast, silicon memory.

In time, the rock discovered its connection to the Core was not completely severed. Throughout the soil, minute particles of rock (chips off the old blocks) were deposited as wind and rain eroded the mighty boulders. These served as conduits through which data, regarding the state of the planet, flowed back and forth.

The rock learned that a few others of its kind had also engaged in studying the strange life-forms, that moved so quickly over the skin of the Earth. These few had named themselves “Earthbound”. Over the centuries, they pooled their information, developing a vast store of knowledge. Most of the creatures they studied were oblivious to the existence of the rock beings. Rarely, one came along with the ability and the patience to see beyond a rock’s rough surface, to the sentient being within.

Farley Bumblestook was such a one.

*****************************

Farley laid on his back atop the big granite rock in his front yard. It was mid-afternoon and its broad, flat surface was warm and welcoming. Earlier that day, he had come home from school bubbling over with tales of Second Grade. After filling his mother’s ears with all the news, he still longed to share his experiences with one other. He told his mother he was going out front to talk to Big Grey. (This was Farley’s name for the rock. Its true “name” was a long, complex string of numbers, designating the rock being’s distance from the Core and exact position on the Earth’s outer crust).

“Of course, dear, if that’s what you want,” she had said, but her eyes had been troubled and the corners of her smile quivered.