Buried Child (6 page)

DODGE:
LA. Stupid country.

SHELLY:
I can't stand this, Vince! This is really unbelievable!

DODGE:
It's stupid! LA is stupid! So is Florida. All those Sunshine States. They're all stupid! Do you know why they're stupid?

SHELLY:
Illuminate me.

VINCE:
Shelly. Don't!

DODGE:
I'll tell you why. Because they're full of smart-asses! That's why.
(SHELLY
turns her back to
DODGE,
crosses to staircase and sits on bottom step. To
VINCE.)
NOW she's insulted.

SHELLY:
Vince?

DODGE:
She's insulted! Look at her! In my house she's insulted! She's over there sulking because I insulted her!

VINCE:
Grandpa—

SHELLY:
(
To
VINCE.)
This is really terrific. This is wonderful. And you were worried about me making the right first impression!

DODGE:
(
To
VINCE.)
She's a fireball, isn't she? Regular fireball. I had some a them in my day. Temporary stuff. Never lasted more than a week.

VINCE:
Grandpa—look—

DODGE:
Stop calling me Grandpa, will ya! It's sickening. “Grandpa.” I'm nobody's grandpa! Least of all yours.

VINCE:
I can't believe you don't recognize me. I just can't believe it. It wasn't that long ago.
(DODGE
starts feeling around under the cushion for the bottle of whiskey,
SHELLY
gets up from the staircase.)

SHELLY:
(
To
VINCE.)
Maybe you've got the wrong house. Did you ever think of that? Maybe this is the wrong address!

VINCE:
It's not the wrong address! I recognize the yard. The porch. The elm tree. The house. I was standing right here in this house. Right in this very spot.

SHELLY:
Yeah, but do you recognize the people? He says he's not your grandfather.

VINCE:
He
is
my grandpa! I know he's my grandpa! He's
always
been my grandpa. He always
will be
my grandpa!

DODGE:
(Diggingfor the bottle.)
Where's that bottle?!

VINCE:
He's just sick or something. I don't know what's happened to him. Delirious.

DODGE:
Where's my goddamn bottle?!
(DODGE
gets up from the sofa and starts tearing the cushions off it and throwing them downstage, looking for the whiskey.)
They've stole my bottle!

SHELLY:
Can't we just drive on to New Mexico? This is terrible, Vince! I don't want to stay here. In this house. I thought it was going to be turkey dinners and apple pie and all that kinda stuff.

VINCE:
Well, I hate to disappoint you!

SHELLY:
I'm not disappointed! I'm fuckin’ terrified! I wanna go!
(DODGE
yells toward left.)

DODGE:
Tilden! Tilden! They stole my bottle!
(DODGE
keeps ripping away at the sofa looking for his bottle. He knocks over the night stand with the bottles,
VINCE
and
SHELLY
watch as he starts ripping the stuffing out of the sofa)

VINCE:
(To
SHELLY.)
He's lost his mind or something. I've got to try to help him.

SHELLY
: You help him! I'm leaving!
(SHELLY
starts to leave.
VINCE
grabs her. They struggle as
DODGE
keeps ripping away at the sofa and yelling.)

DODGE:
Tilden! Tilden, get your ass in here! Tilden!

SHELLY:
Let go of me!

VINCE:
You're not going anywhere! I need you to stay right here!

SHELLY:
Let go of me, you sonuvabitch! I'm not your property!
(Suddenly
TILDEN
walks on from left just as he did before. This time his arms are full of carrots,
DODGE, VINCE,
and
SHELLY
stop suddenly when they see him. They all stare at
TILDEN
as he crosses slowly center with the carrots and stops,
DODGE
sits on the sofa, exhausted.)

DODGE:
(Panting, to
TILDEN)
Where in the hell have you been?

TILDEN:
Out back.

DODGE:
Where's my bottle?

TILDEN:
Gone,
(TILDEN
and
VINCE
stare at each other,
SHELLY
backs away.)

DODGE:
(To
TILDEN.)
You
stole my bottle!

VINCE:
(To
TILDEN.)
Dad? What're you doing here?

SHELLY:
Oh brother,
(TILDEN
just stares at
VINCE.)

DODGE
: You had no right to steal my bottle! No right at all! Who do you think you are?

VINCE:
(
To
TILDEN.)
It's Vince. I'm Vince.
(TILDEN
stares at
VINCE,
then looks at
DODGE,
then turns to
SHELLY.)

TILDEN:
(Afterpause.)
I picked these carrots. If anybody wants any carrots, I picked ‘em.

SHELLY:
(
To
VINCE.)
NOW, wait a minute. This is your father? The one we were going to visit?

VINCE:
(
To
TILDEN.)
Dad, what're you doing here? What's going on?
(TILDEN
just stares at
VINCE,
holding the carrots.
DODGE
pulls the blanket back over himself.)

SHELLY:
This is actually your father? The one in New Mexico?

DODGE:
(
To
TILDEN.)
You're going to have to get me another bottle! You gotta get me a bottle before Halie comes back! There's money on the table.
(Points to left kitchen.)

TILDEN:
(Shaking his head.)
I'm not going down there. Into town. I never do well in town,
(SHELLY
crosses to
TILDEN, TILDEN
stares at her.)

SHELLY:
(
To
TILDEN.)
Are you Vince's father?

TILDEN:
(
To
SHELLY.)
Vince?

SHELLY:
(Pointing to
VINCE.)
This is supposed to be your son! Is he your son? Do you recognize him? I'm just along for the ride here. I thought everybody knew each other!
(TILDEN
stares at
VINCE. DODGE
wraps himself up in the blanket and sits on the sofa staring at the floor.)

TILDEN:
I had a son once but we buried him.
(DODGE
quickly

looks at
TILDEN. SHELLY
looks to
VINCE.)

DODGE
: You shut up about that! You don't know anything about that!

VINCE:
Dad, I thought you were in Bernalillo. We were going to drive down there and see you.

TILDEN:
Long way to drive. Terrible distance.

VINCE:
What's happened, Dad? Has something happened? I thought everything was all right. What's happened to Halie? What're you doing back here?

TILDEN:
She left. Church or something. It's always church. God or Jesus. Or both.

SHELLY:
(
To
TILDEN.)
Do you want me to take those carrots for you?

VINCE:
Shelly—
(TILDEN
stares at her. She moves in close to him. Holds out her arms,
TILDEN
stares at her arms, then slowly dumps the carrots into her arms,
SHELLY
stands there holding the carrots.)

TILDEN:
(
To
SHELLY.)
YOU like carrots?

SHELLY:
Sure. I like all kinds of vegetables. I'm a vegetarian.

DODGE:
(
To
TILDEN.)
Hitler was a vegetarian. You gotta get me a bottle before Halie comes back!
(DODGE
hits the sofa with his fist,
VINCE
crosses up to
DODGE
and tries to console him.
SHELLY
and
TILDEN
stay facing each other.)

TILDEN:
(
To
SHELLY.)
Backyard's full of carrots. Corn. Potatoes.

SHELLY:
You're Vince's father, right? His real father. I'm just asking.

TILDEN:
All kinds of vegetables. You like vegetables?

SHELLY:
(Laughs.)
Yeah. I love vegetables.

TILDEN:
We could cook these carrots, ya know. You could cut ‘em up and we could cook ‘em. You and me.

SHELLY:
All right. Sure. Whatever works.

VINCE:
Shelly, what're you doing?

TILDEN:
I'll get you a pail and a knife.

SHELLY:
Okay.

VINCE:
Shelly!

TILDEN:
I'll be right back. Don't go.

VINCE:
Dad, wait a second,
(TILDEN
exits off left.)
What the hell is going on here? What's happened to everybody?
(SHELLY
stands center, arms full of carrots,
VINCE
stands next to
DODGE, SHELLY
looks toward
VINCE
then down at the carrots.)

DODGE:
(To
VINCE.)
You could get me a bottle.
(Pointing off left.)
There's money on the table.

VINCE:
Grandpa, why don't you lay down for a while?

DODGE:
I don't wanna lay down for a while! Every time I lay down something happens!
(Whips off his cap, points at his head.)
Look what happens! That's what happens!
(Pulls his cap back on.)
You go lay down and see what happens to you! See how you like it! They'll steal your bottle! They'll cut your hair! They'll murder your children! That's what'll happen. They'll eat you alive.

VINCE:
Just relax for a while. Maybe things will come back to you.
(Pause.)

DODGE
: You could get me a bottle, ya know. There's nothing stopping you from getting me a bottle.

SHELLY:
Why don't you get him a bottle, Vince? Maybe it would help everybody identify each other.

DODGE:
(Pointing to
SHELLY.)
There, see? She thinks you should get me a bottle. She's a smart cookie. Suddenly, she got smart,
(VINCE
crosses to
SHELLY.)

VINCE:
Shelly, what're you doing with those carrots?

SHELLY:
I'm waiting for your father.

DODGE:
She thinks you should get me a bottle!

VINCE:
Shelly, put the carrots down, will ya! We gotta deal with the situation here! I'm gonna need your help. I don't know what's going on here but I need some help to try to figure this out.

SHELLY:
I'm helping.

VINCE:
You're only adding to the problem! You're making things worse! Put the carrots down!
(VINCE
tries to knock the carrots out of her arms. She turns away from him, protecting the carrots.)

SHELLY:
Get away from me! Stop it!
(VINCE
stands back from her. She turns to him still holding the carrots)

VINCE:
(To
SHELLY.)
Why are you doing this? Are you trying to make fun of me? This is my family, you know!

SHELLY
: You coulda fooled me! I'd just as soon not be here myself. I'd just as soon be a thousand miles from here. I'd rather be anywhere but here. You're the one who wants to stay. So I'll stay. I'll stay and I'll cut the carrots. And I'll cook the carrots. And I'll do whatever I have to do to survive. Just to make it through this thing.

VINCE:
Put the carrots down, Shelly. The carrots aren't going to help. The carrots have nothing to do with the situation here,
(TILDEN
enters from left with the pail, the milking stool, and a knife. He sets the stool and pail center for
SHELLY, SHELLY
looks at
VINCE,
then sits down on the stool, sets the carrots on the floor, and takes the knife from
TILDEN.
She looks at Vince again, then picks up a carrot, cuts the ends off, scrapes it, and drops it in the pail. She repeats this,
VINCE
glares at her. She smiles.)

DODGE:
She could get me a bottle. She's the type a girl that could get me a bottle. Easy. She'd go down there. Slink up to the counter. They'd probably give her two bottles for the price of one. She could do that. She has that air about her.
(SHELLY
laughs. Keeps cutting carrots,
VINCE
crosses up to
DODGE,
looks at him.
TILDEN
watches
SHELLY
‘s
HANDS. LONG PAUSE.)

VINCE:
(To
DODGE.)
I haven't changed that much. I mean physically. Physically I'm just about the same. Same size. Same weight. Everything's the same,
(DODGE
keeps staring at
SHELLY
while
VINCE
talks to him.)