Now I was thoroughly confused. “You just want me to take your virginity? That’s fucked up.” Intriguing, but fucked up. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had been with a virgin. I had to have been about sixteen and I was sure I had done a shit job of it then. Maybe I would do better now, but that was just a hell of a responsibility. Besides, this was Isabel. I couldn’t wrap my head around what she was thinking.
“Why is that fucked up? It feels like it’s taking on a life of its own, being a virgin, you know what I mean?”
“No.” I didn’t. I barely remembered being a virgin and I didn’t remember thinking about it a whole lot. I had just dived on the first girl who had made it clear she was down with it. Her name was Katie and I had thought I was well and truly in love with Katie. When I was younger I had mistaken lust for love. I knew better now.
“Like it’s ruining the spontaneity of future relationships because it’s this
thing
now… like all this pressure. The minute I tell a guy they either run for the hills or they get weird about it. I want it to be a non-issue.”
When she explained it like that it made sense, in theory, I guess. But I didn’t like it. I didn’t want to be the guy who just broke her seal so it would be a non-issue. I wasn’t sixteen anymore, impulsive and enthusiastic, because I knew that sex was never as straight-forward as everyone wanted to believe it was. It was complicated. Messy. “Why me?”
“Because you’re a good guy. You like to be helpful.”
Seriously? I guess I should be flattered, but what the hell? For a girl who had waited to almost twenty-two she was being awfully casual about the whole thing. “This isn’t opening a jar of pickles for you, this is me being your first time. That’s a big deal.” God, I was sweating. Both from stress and from the idea of being the first man to push inside Isabel’s body. I could only imagine how tight and wet and sweet she would be, and it was on the verge of destroying me. I wanted to say yes. I wanted to pick her up and put her down on her double bed, a mere four feet away.
But once I did, once we did, it couldn’t be taken back. She was being impulsive and I couldn’t let her talk me into something she might regret.
“I know. That’s why I want it to be you, not anyone else. I know you’ll take it seriously. You’ll take your time. You’ll see it as a responsibility to make sure I can enjoy it as much as I can.”
That was true. Maybe she knew me better than I realized. I rubbed my jaw. “You need to think about this,” I told her. “You weren’t planning this a week ago so seriously, just sleep on it tonight.”
“Does that mean you’re saying yes?” She looked excited.
Damn it. That enthusiasm made me hard. “No. It means you’re going to think about it. I’m going to think about it.” I was going to think a whole hell of a lot about it.
“Okay. But if it’s not you, it will be someone else,” she said.
An image of that hairy ass douchebag Juan popped into my head. There was no fucking way it was going to be him. None. Zero. I’d kill him first. I didn’t even know him and I hated him. I wasn’t going to let him lay a hand on Isabel. But I also wasn’t stupid. I wasn’t going to be blackmailed into saying yes. “Don’t threaten me.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Excuse me? How is speaking the truth threatening you?”
“You know exactly why. You only said that to get under my skin and make me jealous. Yes, the thought of someone else being your first upsets me, only because I know it couldn’t possibly be someone you care about, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to take the bullet instead.”
“Take the bullet?” She glared at me. “Wow, thanks, that’s such a flattering way of putting it. Never mind, I just totally changed my mind. Someone else can take the bullet, Ryan. Forget it.”
Ah, hell. She had taken that the wrong way.
I reached for her, but she jerked away.
Before I could apologize, we both heard it. Downstairs the front door opened. It had a distinct creak that had never been fixed. Isabel’s eyes widened as she looked behind me, fear making her reach out for my arm. I put a finger to my lips to indicate she should be quiet, then I turned, reaching for my gun. Looking back at her, I realized she was following me. I shook my head.
“Stay,” I whispered.
Moving into the hallway, I pressed my back to the wall, leaning to get a look down the stairs, my gun up. Then I immediately lowered it.
“Hey, asshole,” Alejandro said, his own gun pointed at me up the stairs. “What are you doing here?” His arm lowered as well.
My gut unclenched. “We’re getting a bag together for Isabel.” I had totally forgotten Alejandro was supposed to be doing surveillance on the house. Isabel’s little proposition had knocked the sense out of me. I needed to get my head back into the game. “How did you get in here?”
“Keys, dumb ass.” Alejandro held them up with a grin. “Why are you standing there just looking like an idiot?”
Good question.
Isabel came up behind me and touched my back. I actually jumped. “Fuck, are you crazy?” I yelled at her. “I have a weapon, Isabel! And I told you to stay in the bedroom.”
She reared back. “I could hear you. It sounded like everything was okay.”
“Well, you didn’t know that, did you?” I was being a dick, but I couldn’t help it. She had scared me. I didn’t want her hurt and I didn’t want her having some moron pawing at her just so she could shed herself of virgin skin.
“Dude, calm down,” Alejandro said. “What’s the big deal?”
The big deal was that I wanted to have sex with Isabel so bad it hurt and I couldn’t seem to think straight. It was dangerous. Just all the way around dangerous. “Mind your own business.”
“I’m pretty sure this is my business since Mickey sent me on surveillance.”
The fact that he was right was even more annoying.
He started up the stairs. “Isabel, I’m Alejandro. I’m going to be keeping an eye on the house so don’t be concerned if you see me. It just means I’m keeping you safe.”
My eye started to twitch. “I’m keeping her safe.”
Alejandro paused and gave me a look of curiosity. “Okay,” he said evenly.
Isabel stepped out from behind me and held out her hand. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you. Thank you for keeping an eye on the house. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I appreciate that everyone is taking this seriously.”
“It’s his job,” I said shortly, and hated myself for it. I sounded like such a complete prick and yet, I couldn’t control it. So I pushed past Alejandro on the stairs and went into the living room. I needed more space. I was feeling pressed in by everything. By Isabel.
“What has the giant so angry?” I heard Alejandro ask Isabel.
“Me.”
At least she recognized she was driving me insane. I went to the picture window for no apparent reason and glanced outside, just needing to take a few deep breathes. I needed to go to the gym and work off some of my excess energy. Or take Isabel to bed.
No. That was out of the question. I wasn’t going to do it.
“How could a beautiful and sweet girl like you make him angry?”
I contemplated throwing up in my mouth. Alejandro was a tool. She was too smart to fall for that.
Isabel laughed. “You’d be surprised.”
There was truth to that.
“Sounds intriguing,” Alejandro said. “So are you single? Maybe we could hang out sometime.”
Was he for real? I realized I was grinding my teeth and my hands were in tight fists. Without saying a word to either of them, I went out the front door and to my car, wanting some fresh air and my coffee. It was going to be cold, but I didn’t care. The sun hit me in the eyes and I squinted, trying not to picture Alejandro and Isabel out on a date. They would make a good-looking couple, I had to admit. Alejandro was in great shape, and he smiled constantly. His features were proportionate and unlike me, he had never broken his nose. He laughed and teased women and they laughed with him and went home with him. If he and I went out to a club in South Beach, nine out of ten times he left with a woman, while I got disappointed looks from the best friends, who realized they had gotten paired off with me, the boring friend.
I didn’t want to hear Isabel’s response to him, which would probably be positive. Maybe she would choose Alejandro to be the one who took her virginity. That thought made me want to punch something. I knew how many girls he had gone home with and whatever, I didn’t give a shit if he wanted to sample his way across South Beach. But Isabel deserved to be treated special. She deserved to have her first time be with someone who was going to take the time to make sure she felt cherished, and that she enjoyed it.
If it wasn’t me, I couldn’t trust that anyone else would do right by her.
Which meant that it was going to have to be me.
Damn. This was wrong. But it was the only option if I wanted to live with my own conscience. That made me scoff out loud at myself. So what, I was trying this to be noble? Yes, I was, but it was also guaranteed to be something I was going enjoy, so really, how much of a nice guy was I really?
Not much.
Coffee cup in hand, I went back into the house, determined.
Alejandro was showing Isabel something on his phone and she was laughing. He glanced up at me. “You okay, man?”
“Yeah.” I gave Isabel a smoldering look. I knew it was smoldering. I could feel it. It was intense and raw and intimate. Her eyes widened.
“Ryan?” she asked, tentatively. She shifted away from Alejandro. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I was just thinking about something.” I knew she would know what I was referring too and she did. Her cheeks turned pink and she looked flustered, tucking her hair back behind her ears.
“What?” she asked.
“I’ll tell you later.” I would tell her later how I was going to be the one. How I was going to strip her naked again and touch every inch of her luscious body until she was ready and aching and open for me.
A smile danced over her face. She knew. Somehow she could read it on my face even though I was tense and scowling and being a complete bossy jerk. There was a connection between us already and it was growing by the minute.
“So I’ve never wanted to have a threesome with another dude before, but I’m pretty turned on right now watching you two,” Alejandro joked.
It would have been funny under any other circumstances. “Shut up,” I told him.
Isabel was watching me. I broke eye contact first. I pinned Alejandro with a stare. “Aren’t you supposed to be doing surveillance outside the house? Not inside?”
“Your dad said I could chill inside, no big deal. He gave me a key. I love this house. I won five hundred bucks in that poker game we had here last year. Remember that? You were on a winning streak that night too. You won a Glock from that guy, what was his name?”
I had completely forgotten about that. “Shit, that’s right. Damn, we had a lot of tequila that night. I was in no shape to be betting anything. It’s a freaking miracle I won.” The memory made me grin. It had been a bromance kind of night, with Alejandro and our co-worker Kellen and I chest thumping and shoulder clapping every time we won. We’ve been tossing back shots and egging each other on, and Kellen’s cousin Romeo had brought a couple of friends who were really horrible poker players. It hadn’t taken much to strip them of everything including the one guy’s Glock, which he had put on the table without hesitation. “What happened to that gun?”
Alejandro laughed. “You don’t know? If you don’t have the gun, who does?”
“Hell if I know.” That seemed like something I should look into, but then again, it wasn’t registered to me, so what did I care? “They probably just lifted it on their way out of the house. I was too lit to notice if they did.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Alejandro flopped down on the couch and kicked off his shoes. “Where are you two kids off to now?”
“You trying to get rid of us?”
“Just you.”
“Fuck off.” I eyed Isabel. “Is everything in your bag? I’ll go get it.” I didn’t want to leave her alone with Alejandro but it was the gentlemanly thing to do to go collect her stuff.
But she was already jogging back up the stairs. “I’ll get it,” she called over her shoulder. I was pretty sure I’d never seen her move that fast. She looked like a fire had been lit under her cute ass.
Alejandro was grinning at me. “So how come you never told me your stepsister is built like Barbie?”
“She’s not my stepsister.”
“Even better, because now it’s not weird.”
“It’s still weird.” I glanced up the stairs. “But yes, she’s hot.”
“God, you must have had great family vacations.” He held his hands out in front of his chest to indicate large tits.
“You’re disgusting.” I sounded belligerent, and how much of that stemmed from guilt? I had already decided I was going to have sex with Isabel. I still wasn’t sure morally speaking if I was in hazy territory or not.
He crossed his leg over his knee. “Dude, you are so crushing on her. It’s hilarious. I don’t blame you.”
“I don’t crush on girls,” I scoffed. “I’m just doing her a favor.”
“Is that what you’re doing?” Isabel asked from the top of the stairs. “How generous of you.”