Burn Out (20 page)

“Markus, I’m so sorry,” I said. I walked over to him,
my hands in front of me as if the cuffs were still locked. In one quick motion, I pulled off the cuffs and scooped up Markus’ gun that lay on the floor by his side.

I jerked it toward Kale. “Raise either of those guns and I’ll shoot,” I said, trying to control the shaking in my arm.

“Yeah, I’d listen to
una chica bonita
if I were you,” Alec added. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw his gun also pointed at Kale. The fact that I was more terrified than I’d ever been in my life didn’t stop me from registering the fact I’d just been called pretty.

Kale’s face was grim. He turned to James, who looked away from him and walked over to me. James slowly raised his gun in Kale’s direction. “I’m sorry, sir,” he said.

Yes. I knew he cared about me. All that other crap had been an act.

“I’m sorry, sir,” James repeated. He swiveled and pointed his gun at my head. “Sorry we have such pathetic traitors among us.”

Alec started to swing his gun in James’ direction, but James engaged his trigger panel. “Do it, and I’ll shoot her,” James said.

I shook with rage. How could James betray me like this? We were so close to getting away. The coldness in his voice as he threatened to shoot me felt like a knife going through me.

“No!” I yelled, too late.

Alec dropped his gun to the floor. “I can’t let him shoot you. You saved me.”

Markus finally snapped back into reality, and jumped to his feet. “What the hell?”

Alec hesitated a moment, which was all it took for Kale to raise his weapon and take back control. He fired a shot into the wall near Alec. Alec jumped, and Kale strode over to him. He retrieved Alec’s gun from the floor.

Markus took a step toward me. James shook his head, his gun pressed to the side of my head. “Don’t do it, man. Just stay there and no one will have to get hurt.”

Kale pointed his gun at Alec. “What’s it gonna be, soldier? The only reason I didn’t kill you just now is I need you on Caelia. You look strong and able. But this is your one chance to convince me that you just made a terrible mistake. Can I trust you?”

Alec couldn’t die. Somebody as decent as him had to live. He saved the last dog on the planet. Tears welled in my eyes. “Alec, you deserve to go to Caelia. Just do what Kale wants.”
But I hope you kill these two burners when you get there
.

I couldn’t decipher the look in Alec’s eyes. “You can trust me, sir,” he said finally. “But I am indebted to Tora for saving me.”

James snorted. “Then do her a favor and get her to give up the gun.”

Alec gazed into my eyes. “Give it to him, Tora. If you don’t, the only way it can end is with you getting shot.” He nodded toward Kale. “I don’t understand everything going on here, but I’m sure it’s just a big misunderstanding.”

“Yeah, we can work this out. Give him the gun. Please,” Markus added.

There didn’t seem to be any hope of working anything out, but I was out of ideas. I sighed and held the gun in front of me. “Fine. Take it.”

James reached out and only after he had my weapon in his hands did he remove his gun from my head. Asshole.

We were so screwed. Kale had all the guns, and it was impossible we could overpower James and Kale with our bare hands. We blew our only chance to turn the tables. If I used T.O., Alec and Markus would die too, and that wasn’t an option I wanted to consider.

Kale’s eyes flicked to Markus and Alec before he addressed me. “The only reason I’m not killing you right now is that I’m a more decent guy than you give me credit for.”

No, the only reason you’re not killing me right now is there are too many witnesses … unlike Britta
. Kale was an observant guy. He’d already commented on Alec’s intellect and strong build, and likely wanted to recruit him for his cause. He also knew Alec felt allegiance to me, since I’d saved the guy from certain death in the pod city. Maybe Kale realized that Alec wouldn’t do squat for him if he killed me in front of them. I clenched my teeth to keep from responding.

James stood with his arms crossed, gun in hand. I wanted to charge at him and punch him, but I was more mad at myself for being such a sucker.

Kale handed the guns to James, keeping only his own. “See, no need for anyone to have guns anyway, now that we’ve killed all the bad guys.”

“So no need for handcuffs again either, right? It’s not like we can’t handle a skinny unarmed girl on our own.” I liked Alec more every time he spoke.

Kale’s eyes flitted to me. “Fine. I’ll leave the cuffs off you if you promise to behave.” If he thought that would make Alec and Markus think well of him, he was delusional. He turned back toward the others. “Here’s the deal. We’ll take care of Britta’s, um, body, and get out of here.”

Kale didn’t care about Britta’s body, but knew that Markus did. I had to give it to him—he was smart.

I gritted my teeth. “Guess you don’t need me, Kale. Alec and I can head back to the other ship and wait.” I gestured for Alec to join me.

Alec tipped his finger to his brow, but his face was grim.

Once out of Kale’s sight down the hall, I planned on somehow getting Markus, and booking it to Kale’s ship to fly the hell out of there. James could go to hell.

“You’re not going anywhere, Tora,” Kale responded.

James assessed Kale, a questioning look on his face.

“Listen,” said Kale. “Hear that? You can’t go back now.”

I’d been too distracted by dead bodies to hear the screaming of the winds. Night had come. The view out the control room window was one of near darkness, only a small reddish tinge lining the edge of the horizon. We were stuck here until the winds died down. We wouldn’t
make it fifty feet in these conditions. For some strange reason, I thought of Lucy and hoped she wasn’t scared by the weather.

Instead of my grand escape plan, we all helped put Britta’s body in a containment box, while I choked back tears. When she’d shoved me into one of those units, I’d wanted her to die a slow death. Now, just a short time later, I’d give anything to see that weird smile she had when staring at Markus or petting Lucy. Markus wanted to bring the box over to Kale’s ship, then send her body out into space on the way to Caelia.

“She’d want to be free,” Markus said, before putting his head in his hands.

Silence filled the room.

Kale and Markus carried the container with Britta’s body to the hatch. As soon as the winds died, they’d transfer her over and we’d leave. In the meantime, we all trekked back to the med room through the enormous ship. There were so many hallways that branched off to different parts of the ship. Thoughts of Callie running and hiding popped into my head. My sister would have thought this was the most kick-ass place ever for a game of hide-and-seek, minus the dead people.

“Tora, can I see your Infinity a sec?” Kale asked like we were best buds. His face was anything but friendly.

Crap. I didn’t want to do this. I reluctantly removed it from my wrist and handed it to him. “This was a gift from my dad.” Like that would make a difference.

Kale fingered it a minute. “I’ve always wanted one of these. You mind if I play around with this a while?”

Yes, I mind, you freakin’ burner
. “Knock yourself out,” I said, like it was a casual request. I knew I’d never see it again. My wrist already felt naked without it.

James strolled over to the table. His voice was mechanical, stiff. “Tora, help with these meds.”

Screw you
. “Sure.”

“Toss the last few boxes in this bag, while I finish up with these others.” He ordered it like I was his personal assistant or something. I wanted to clock him.

James glanced at Markus as he placed colored vials and boxes in the bag. “Any meds you want? There’s some stuff here that’ll help you feel better.”

Great. He was sucking up to Markus, probably wanting to keep him on their side.

Markus slumped against the wall in a defeated posture. He wore the pain of a person who’d lost someone they really cared about. I knew that look.

“Great idea, James,” Kale interjected. “Some of those will make you forget your own name. Might be good for you for a while.”

Markus shook his head. “Nah. I don’t want to forget.”

“Suit yourself, soldier. James, make sure to stock up on those good pain meds I had before.”

I wished he’d take them now, and go back to being belligerent but manageable. “Can I help with anything?” Alec asked softly, starting to walk toward me. His eyes looked
pained, like he wanted to do something for me but didn’t know what.

“No,” James answered immediately.

“I think he was talking to me, not you,” I answered.

James’ jaw clenched, but he didn’t say anything else. Alec went and stood awkwardly by Markus, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

Alec had been nothing but nice. Anger surged in me. “Some friendly rescue team we are, Alec,” I said, glaring at the back of James. “Sorry about that.”

Kale peered at me while he strapped my Infinity to his wrist, as though daring me to say something about it. “Most rescue teams don’t turn against their leader. You might have some trust issues, you know.”

Markus laughed harshly and answered for me. “No shit. She doesn’t trust any of us. That’s no different than before.”

Kale made a pathetic attempt at looking remorseful. “I’d hate to think you weren’t with us on this, Tora, because that would make you …”

The enemy. He didn’t need to finish his sentence. I shuddered involuntarily thinking again of the unarmed soldier. I’d already seen what this group did to their enemies.

“I know this girl better than anyone,” said Markus. “I’ll keep her in line.” He looked like he could barely peel himself off the wall, let alone handle me.

“Okay. That should do it. Let’s get out of here,” said
James, tossing a final box into his bag. Once again, he avoided eye contact with me. You certainly wouldn’t guess that he’d had his hands all over me not too long ago.

He walked by me and grabbed the supply bag from my hand. “Here, I’ve got this.”

Kale grunted and walked out the door first. “Good work. Let’s go.”

James motioned for Markus, Alec, and me to go ahead, but managed to do it without looking directly at me. He’d told me to trust him but my gut told me I was a total dumb ass. I glanced behind me as I stepped into the hallway to join Markus and Kale. James did it so quickly, I might have imagined it. I thought I felt the touch of his fingers in my hair. Then they were gone.

K
ALE POUNDED HIS FIST INTO THE WALL OF THE
C
ONSULATE
ship. “Give me a goddamn break!”

The gale force winds of the night storms hadn’t subsided yet. Pointing out that the storms sometimes lasted for several hours didn’t seem like a helpful comment, so I kept my mouth shut.

Kale directed us to the kitchen where there were some energy packets and bottled water. This area had been spared from the worst of the fire. We sat at a table designed to hold five times as many men. Markus and Alec sat on either side of me at one end of the table, while James and Kale faced us. Fatigue permeated every bone in my body, but falling asleep was not an option. I couldn’t protect myself if I slept.

No one seemed to feel much like talking. Guess they were as exhausted as I was. I felt James’ eyes on me and though he looked away as soon as I met his stare, I caught the expression in them. Sadness. What did he have to be sad about? He betrayed me by choice. That look alone told me I wasn’t going anywhere with them. No water-covered planet with trees in my future. Tears blurred my eyes, and I wiped them on my sleeve.

Kale cocked his head toward the ceiling. “I think it won’t be long now. When the winds die, we’ll run for it.”

The winds wouldn’t be the only thing dying if I couldn’t figure a way out of this mess. I fingered my satchel. At least Kale hadn’t taken that from me. I reached inside it and my fingers brushed the secret compartment containing T.O. I could kill Kale in a heartbeat with this. It was the killing of everyone else that kept me from pushing the button. Maybe I could bluff my way out with it though.

I felt the heat of Kale’s stare. Should I try? If it didn’t work, I would be completely out of options. Kale’s stare intensified like he was about to take the bag. My hand knocked against Mom’s diary, so I pulled it out like that’s what I had been looking for. I flipped it open. “Don’t mind me, I’m just going to read a dead woman’s journal.”

My fingers flew to the last few pages. If I was going to die soon, I should at least die knowing everything I could about my family. It wasn’t like things could get any worse. I skimmed the journal entries prior to the last page. They were all by my mother. Tearstained entries about how
much she missed the security of the pod cities and how bleak things were in the shelter. How painful it was to see her children living the life of prisoners belowground. How she’d have no reason to live if she lost us. How the pain meds were the only thing that numbed her depression and allowed her to function. I’d understood my mother was sad and hopeless about our situation, but I had no idea it was this bad.

Her pain-filled words became more rambling and hopeless as the pages went on. It was consistent with her increasing use of the drugs. The entries, which had at first been penned on a daily basis, grew sporadic. There were days, even weeks, between each one. Her last entry was a full two weeks before the date of her death.

I took a deep, shaky breath and turned to the last page. My father’s handwriting stared back at me. There were no tear stains on his page, but then again, he was never a big advocate of feelings.
My heart bleeds today
, he began. A stabbing pain pierced my chest. He’d seemed so unemotional that day. He’d taken me aside after he’d found their bodies and tried to calm me. I was inconsolable and didn’t understand his apparent lack of feelings. Reading the grief in his words made me aware of the depth of feelings he’d buried. Whether it was for his sake or mine, I’d never know. I kept reading.

My father wrote that my sister had been trying to sneak out on her own to go aboveground. I vaguely remembered that. She’d been so young when we lived in the pod city,
where she was used to going outside without the need for sunsuits. Callie had craved the sun, loving its light, no matter the cost.