Burning Down the House (22 page)

“I’m fine.” Without looking up, I continued
toying with my sandwich.

“You don’t seem fine.”

“You think, Einstein?” I wanted to kick myself as soon as I said it because I knew it was petty and childish, but I just couldn’t stop myself. Jordan’s bitterness had somehow seeped into my skin and all I wanted to do right now was sulk and sob and throw a two-year-old’s temper tantrum.

Pushing back his chair,
Rob stood up and took me firmly by the arm. “Come with me.” Pouting, I let him lead me out of the cafeteria and into the parking lot, where he didn’t say a word until we were both inside the Tahoe. Then he told me, “We’re both gonna sit here until you tell me what’s wrong.”

I felt suddenly stupid. Stupid and immature. Why was I letting this
gnaw at me? It happened two years ago and I didn’t even live here at the time. What did I think, that some guy I didn’t even like back then was supposed to ignore every other girl in the world and spend his days pining for me, as if he could somehow see into the future?

“It’s nothing. Really, I just…I guess I’m a little tired.”
Because we stayed up most of the night making love again. Did you ever do that with her?

He folded
both arms across his chest and tilted his head, waiting for the truth to come out. Obviously he was perceptive enough to see through my flimsy excuse.

Sighing,
I focused my attention on the floorboard and whispered, “Did you fuck Jordan Cox and then dump her?”

When he didn’t say anything, I ventured a
peek at him. He was just sitting there gazing at me with this troubled look in his eyes. I waited to see what would happen. Unexpectedly, he fished the car keys back out of his pocket and started the engine.

“Wh
at are you doing?” We weren’t supposed to leave campus, and besides that we had class in fifteen minutes.

“I’m taking you home. It won’t kill us to skip
one afternoon.”

“What - why?”

“Because I can’t have you looking at me like that. There’s no way I can send you through the rest of the day knowing you’re unhappy with me. I can’t deal with that. We need to clear this up right now.”

I started to tell him that my books were in my locker and I needed them to do my homework, but then decided the hell with it. One missed assignment wasn’t going to make or break me.

He began talking as he drove. “You asked me if I’ve done this before, and I told you not with anyone who mattered. I didn’t lie, Sara. I’ve only been with two people before you. And yes, one of them was Jordan. You remember how she sometimes used to hang around me and Doug and Trent? Well, in tenth grade we tried dating for a while. And by ‘while’ I mean like maybe two weeks tops. It just felt weird to me, like we didn’t connect or something. But what can I say, I was a horny sixteen-year-old who up until that point had never gotten much attention from girls and here she was anxious to put out. So after school one day I went home with her and both her parents were at work so…you know.”

Yeah. I knew.

“I have to be honest with you - I had no idea what I was doing and it was really quick and awkward and embarrassing for both of us. And maybe this doesn’t matter to you, but I wasn’t even her first. I couldn’t tell you who she’d been with before me. I didn’t ask because I didn’t care. It was over in less than a minute and it’s not even worth talking about. It didn’t mean anything to either one of us.”

“How do you know it didn’t mean anything to
her?
” I demanded.

“
Because she stopped hanging around us after that. And she avoided me completely, which was fine because I didn’t want to see her again anyway. Maybe that sounds shitty, but the whole experience just validated that we had nothing whatsoever in common.”

I turned this information over in my mind.
Jordan had given me the impression that she’d been manipulated, used and tossed aside. But his version of the story didn’t sound that way at all. And of course I was going to believe him over her. I didn’t give a rat’s ass about her. Why should I take her word over his? “What about the second person?” I siphoned him for more info. Might as well get his whole history out in the open. Rip off the whole Band-Aid at once.

“That was a little different.”
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I got this temporary job summer before last, cataloguing books at the public library. One of the aides struck up a conversation with me while I was working one day. Basically just venting about how her fiancé had cheated on her and broke her heart.”

I blinked,
surprised. “
Fiancé?
How old was she?”

“
I dunno, early thirties I’d say. I think she was just looking for someone to help her get over him. Maybe she needed a younger guy to restore her confidence. Sort of a rebound kinda thing, you know? We got together once or twice a week through the summer. After the job ended, the affair ended. It was nothing more than casual sex and we both knew that.” He glanced over at me. “When I said she didn’t matter to me, I meant it. I mean, Sabrina was a nice person and I respected her all that, but there weren’t any emotions involved. I didn’t feel anything for her. I don’t even think I was
capable
of feeling anything at the time. Can you understand that?”

“I guess so
...” It’s always eluded me how men can keep something as intimate as sex casual. Must be that Mars-and-Venus thing. It didn’t feel casual to me. It felt like he reached inside and became part of me.

“
Up until now I’ve always been careful to keep people out of my head. I know I have trust issues - I didn’t need a therapist to tell me that. You’re the only person I let myself even start to feel anything for, Sara. I care about you, and I never really cared about anybody before. I need to know you believe me when I say that.”

He
offered me his palm and I clasped it tightly in mine, feeling the truth in his touch. Clearly Jordan was nothing but a spiteful, vindictive bitch. I wasn’t just some convenient lay. He trusted me with his secrets and maybe even with his heart. I had to trust him with mine as well.

“Shit,” he muttered out of the blue, braking suddenly.

“What?” I followed his gaze to our driveway where my father’s Prius sat parked half in and half out of the cluttered garage.

“Your dad’s
back already.” He frowned slightly. “Damn.”

“
Well, looks to me like we have two choices. We can either go back to school…” I gave him a calculating smile. “
Or
we can get some lunch and go play laser tag to kill some time.”

“I vote for any option that doesn’t involve
me falling asleep in trig. Laser tag it is.” He continued driving on past our house and down the street. “So we’re okay?”

“We were never not okay. I’m
just sorry I let Jordan’s mouth get to me.”

“It’s okay,
babydoll. I’d be the same way.” Looking over at me, he shook his head with a laugh. “You know, it’s gonna be hard keeping your dad in the dark.”

“We’ll make it work. Just go back to pretending you can’t stand me,” I suggested jokingly.
“I’ll go out of my way to harass you if it helps any.”

“It’s only temporary. After graduation…” He stopped
abruptly, not finishing his sentence.

“After graduation, what?” I prompted.

“Uh…
ahem
. I was going to say that after graduation it wouldn’t be as much of an issue. Once football season’s over I plan on finding a part time job to help with college expenses. If I get a full-ride scholarship like I’m hoping, I can move into one of the residence halls at Frostburg.” He hesitated. “But maybe I was jumping the gun to even bring it up. You’ll probably be sick to death of me by that time.”

“More likely you’ll be sick of me.”

“I’m already sick of you, ya little brat.” Huffing, I pretended to be deeply insulted and he grinned at my mock indignation. “Just getting in some practice for later...”

“
Well, don’t practice too hard. And do me one favor.
Don’t
go to work at the library!”

18

It was like
putting on a production. Except instead of
Romeo and Juliet
, it was more along the lines of
Nothing To See Here Folks, Move Along Please
starring academy award winners Robert Kensington and Sara Marsh. Or at least, I felt we deserved an academy award for our performance.

For half of each week we were casual acquaintances,
barely tolerating one another while avoiding direct eye contact or the inadvertent touch, sleeping innocently in our own beds and trying to behave normally in front of my father. He didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. And we were determined to keep it that way. For as long as possible, anyway.

For the other half,
we were rarely apart unless in class or at one of our extracurricular activities. With Christmas looming just over the horizon, I was at the ballet studio twice a week instead of the usual once, perfecting my role as Snow Queen in preparation of our mid-December presentation. On top of that our drama class was now having play practice after school as well. So on Mondays and Wednesdays I danced; on Tuesdays and Thursdays I attended a Verona ball as Juliet Capulet.

There were only two more football games before the season ended, and
Rob started applying for part time work. He immediately found a temporary job at, of all places, a Christmas tree farm. The first day he came home covered in sticky sap and smelling pleasantly of pine. Thanksgiving was still a week away - I couldn’t believe people were already buying live trees.

I met him
at the front door, grabbing the front of his jacket and yanking him in for a kiss. His lips were cold from the thirty-degree weather. “You smell yummy,” I told him. “Like a -”

“Lemme guess. A Christmas tree.”
He teased me with an Eskimo kiss and asked, “Is my nose cold?”

“Yes!
It’s like ice. Poor baby…let’s get you warmed up.”

“
Good idea. I have an even better one. Why don’t you go run us a nice hot bath?” His mouth curved into a wickedly sensuous smile.

I felt my
insides quiver in response to his suggestion. So far we’d only had sex either in his bed or mine, and always under cover of darkness. However enthusiastic I might be, I was still new at this and the thought of him getting a clear view of every exposed inch of my body was…

It was…

Oh fuck, let’s get real - I
loved
the idea.

“
You dirty, dirty boy,” I flirted back at him. “I think you
do
need a bath. Your room or mine?”

“
Oh, I’m a dirty boy, am I?” He sloughed off his jacket and tossed it over the back of the recliner. “Either one, it doesn’t matter. Actually, how about yours. You go ahead and start the water and I’ll be there in a minute. Okay?”

“
All right.” Struck by sudden inspiration, I took a detour through the kitchen for a box of matches. A couple of candles would be romantic, and they’d provide enough illumination that we wouldn’t need the bright fluorescent lights.

Covering
the drain and turning on the hot water, I added some Winter Candy Apple bubble bath. And by some, I mean most of the bottle. The more bubbles, the better. Okay, so I’m not quite the exhibitionist that Staci Sheridan is.

Hastily peeling off
my clothes and clipping up my loose hair, I managed to slide into the tub a split second before he walked in. My heart nearly stopped in mid-beat when I saw him, already completely stripped down, naked as a Greek statue and not the least bit shy about it. I dropped my eyes as I felt my cheeks turn warm.

“You are so funny,” he said, stepping into the tub and sliding down into the bubbles
with his legs outstretched on either side of me. “You didn’t have any problem checking me out that night you were spying on me.”

“I wasn’t spying on you! And you weren’t
standing right smack in front of me then, either.”

He laughed
at that. “Technicalities. So voyeurism is acceptable from a ten yard radius? Turn around, I’ll wash your back for you.”

Using only his hands and some liquid soap, he began by massaging my back and shoulders
until I was fully relaxed. When he reached underneath my arms to knead my soapy front, I rested the back of my head against his shoulder, sighing in blissful contentment. Fully erect, his solid length was pressed against my lower back beneath the sudsy water. I loved knowing that beautiful hard-on was just for me.

“You ready for me to do you?” I murmured.

“Mm…now that’s a loaded question if I ever heard one.” Drawing up his legs, he dutifully faced the opposite direction and allowed me to reciprocate. It was an amazingly sensual act, the sensation of gliding my slippery hands all over his wet body. There was a hedonistic thrill in rubbing his upper arms and feeling the masculine curve of those hard muscles beneath my fingertips. I finally reached down to wrap both hands around his shaft, feeling it twitch against my palms.

“Tell me something, baby
doll…”

“Yeah?” I asked while continuing to explore him.

“How reliable is that contraceptive you’re taking?”

“I was told it’s over ninety-nine percent effective
.”

“And you’ve been taking it
religiously? You haven’t missed any days?”

“No, I haven’t missed any
,” I assured him. “Why?”

He
turned his head to assess my reaction. “How would you feel about skipping the rubber?”

How would I
feel? And he thought
my
question was loaded? “I don’t have a problem with that. I assume you would have already told me if there was a reason we needed them…?”

“Don’t worry
, I’m healthy. I’ve never barebacked before.”

“Barebacked?
Okay, I’m not sure what that means, but it better not have anything to do with horses. ’Cause I got news for you - you are
not
putting a bridle on me.”

“
No, doofwad. It means I’ve never had sex without using a condom.”

“Ah…interesting.”
My hands came up out of the water to massage his shoulders. “Well then, when you really think about it, technically that makes
you
a virgin. In a way.”

“
I like the way you think.” He reached behind his back to squeeze my thighs. “So you ready to take me to bed and make a man out of me?”

“I don’t think you need me for that
!”

“Suit yourself. I’ll go start without you
then.” Grinning, he straightened up and stepped out of the tub, dripping soapy water all over the floor. Without even bothering to dry off, he picked up the candles and disappeared into my bedroom, calling back in a singsong voice, “It won’t be nearly as much
fu
-uuunn…”

Letting the water out of the tub, I hopped out and wrapped a
towel around myself before following him. The candles had been placed on opposites sides of the bed and he was standing in front of my stereo connecting his iPhone to it, still dripping suds on the beige carpet. Hopefully he wouldn’t electrocute himself. Not that I’d notice. I was finding it nearly impossible to tear my eyes away from his cute bare ass.

“I
shared this playlist with you,” he commented as the music started. It was the same melancholy piano intro from our night at the overlook.

“
You did? Oh, I recognize that song. He has the most amazing voice.”

“
Adrian Hates.”

Reluctantly pulling my gaze from his backside,
I gave him a puzzled look at the seemingly incomplete sentence. “Adrian who hates what now?”

Rob
shook his head, trying not to laugh at my confusion. “That’s his name. Adrian Hates. It’s a German band, Diary of Dreams - the song is
Tears of Laughter
.”

“Oh.” Unable to resist, I took a
few steps closer so I could reach behind him and grab that adorable tight ass with both hands. “It’s beautiful.”

“Are you referring to the song…?”

“Okay, sure, we’ll go with that.”

With
a quick flick of the wrist, he untucked the corner of my towel so that it dropped silently to the carpet. “Now
this
is beautiful,” he professed, holding me at arm’s length while looking me up and down appreciatively.

I felt
the heat of desire spreading like a brush fire at his intimate appraisal of my body. I’d never thought of myself as beautiful before but when he looked at me with such lustful admiration, I had to believe that at least in his eyes, I was. Gently grabbing my head in his hands, he guided me to his mouth where our tongues began their familiar erotic dance. I could never get enough of the taste of him. He was like a gourmet chocolate addiction - possibly bad for you, but who the hell cares?

Lifting me up
so I could fold my legs around him, he carried me to the bed and dropped me gently on the down comforter before slowly stalking over me on all fours. Adrian’s soulful baritone mourned his inability to touch the stars, and I wanted to reach past the horizon for them myself. Surely they couldn’t be so elusive, so distant, not when some of them had lost their way only to find sanctuary in Rob’s celestial eyes.

He hovered over me, whispering, “I want to feel every inch of you, with nothing
at all between us…to come so deep inside you that you can taste it…every part of me belongs to you, do you know that? Every. Part.”

My eyelids fluttered shut as he slid smoothly in
to me, and I moaned in sheer primal ecstasy, not just from the divine sensation but from his arousing words as well. His strokes were frustratingly slow, torturing me, bringing me almost to the brink while deliberately holding back, preventing me from going over.

“No. Don’t close your eyes,” his soft voice commanded. “
Look at me. I want you to watch me.”

I opened them obediently to gaze
up at him, and suddenly wondered how I could have ever believed that he was frozen inside. He was so far from it. The raw emotion in his eyes was transparent.

Firmly gripping my wrists, he pushed
both hands above my head and restrained them there, his eyes never leaving mine. “Do you like having me inside you?”

“God, yes…” I breathed. “More than anything.”

“Tell me you want me. Tell me you want only me.”

“
You’re all I want, Rob…only you...”

“You have no idea how
fucking good this feels to me.”

“I have…
I have some idea…” Teetering at the edge, I felt my legs quiver and my arms struggled to break free of his hold so I could pull him deeper inside me but he wouldn’t let go. My head thrashed to the side and I bit my lip to suppress a groan.

“Eyes on me, baby girl.”

I faced him once again and was immediately caught up in the intensity of his gaze. His thrusts gained momentum, driving into me more relentlessly, more desperately. “I want to feel you come. Are you ready to do that for me?”

“
Yes…
” Fueled by his seductive words, my eyes dropped to the movement of his sexy lips as he spoke. I was almost there, my whole body shaking from the sweet anticipation.

“Look at me,
Sara,” he repeated.

As I looked
deep into those hazel eyes once more, they conveyed to me the very words he was now whispering.

“I love you.”

And I echoed those words as he buried himself deep within me, my legs clenched tightly around him as I felt his release and my body responded with its own.