Burning Heart: Fighting Heart Erotic Bad Boy Romance Series Book 4 (3 page)

I made it back to Essex after a two hour journey full of anxiety and stress. I couldn’t read. I couldn’t do anything but sit there shifting in my seat as I wondered whether this was all just some big hoax to freak me out, or whether Brandon Lynes had truly and finally cracked. He wanted revenge on me, of course he did – he was an imbecile who couldn’t see that he had been responsible for every bad thing that had befallen us – but surely he wasn’t
that
deranged? I drank coffee. I avoided making eye contact with anyone on the train lest they started a conversation with me, and I kept my eyes looking out of the window. It was a cold, bright day, and as we raced into the Essex countryside along by the Thames I couldn’t help but notice how serene and pretty that wide old river looked. Inside me a storm was raging, but outside all was beautiful. Today it felt like mockery.

Nobody knew I was back in Essex yet, and I wanted it to stay that way. Dealing with my neurotic mother was an ordeal I planned to avoid for as long as possible, because she would only make my moods worse. We were like two ends of a battery, always connected by blood but always separated through common sense. We were total opposites.  The best option was that I would only see my mother when I could come home with good news that Regan was alive and well, thereby diffusing my mum’s self-pity bomb before it went off in my face.

I didn’t know many of Regan’s friends, and that was how it had been for many years now, but there was still one guy I respected more than most. Terry. Terry had been Regan’s friend before he turned out to be a mini-drug dealer. Terry liked smoking pot and telling very bad jokes, but even so he wasn’t a bad guy. He’d always been a fun-loving kid, and he’d simply never grown up. I knew he now worked in a computer game exchange on the High Street. For Terry working around computer games was another way of postponing adulthood, but at least he wasn’t a drug dealer any more. Terry was a loyal friend to Regan and an equally loyal customer of his dope providing services, but he was one of the good ones. When we were younger, during my mum’s bad spell after my dad ran away, I had to be a kind of surrogate parent to Regan which meant I ended up learning the telephone number of Terry’s house off by heart. I still knew it. I just hoped Terry still lived with his mum. If he did, I would speak with Terry and get the low down.

I called and his mother answered as if the best part of ten years hadn’t passed between us. Then I heard her holler up the stairs for Terry. I could picture it all. Somethings never changed.

Terry grabbed the receiver, and didn’t waste a single word. From the moment he picked up, even before he spoke, I suddenly knew that Regan’s situation was real and serious.

“You heard from him, Ash?”

“Hi Terry. No. No, I haven’t. Tell me what happened.”

“I can’t. I mean, all I know is that I was supposed to meet him down at Rundy’s. It’s a new music shop in town, but at the back they have a secret little smoker’s den. It’s pretty cool. But he never showed, Ash. I waited there an hour and he didn’t turn up. That’s just not like him at all.”

“Isn’t it? I always thought Regan could be pretty unreliable myself?”

“Maybe for you and your mum, but not for me. He always shows up when he says he’s going to. If not, he calls to let me know what’s up. But not this time.”

My panic started rising. I needed to know every little detail of the big picture.

“What do you think happened, Terry? Does he owe any money again?”

“No. Not after last time, he kept his nose clean. He doesn’t ever want to come unstuck with those guys again.”

“Well that’s good news, at least.” But it didn’t feel very good. Ruling out the most likely reasons for my brother’s absence meant I had to rule some seriously nasty options in.

“Ashley, I’m worried about him. Disappearing like this is way out of character. This is some heavy shit, I’m telling you.”

“Terry, Right now I’m beginning to agree with you.”

“What you going to do, Ashley?”

“I’m going to find him.”

“How?”

“Oh… I’ve got a few ideas.”

“I’m working shifts this week, Ash, but fuck that. If you want some help finding him you let me know.  And you let me know straight away, right?”

“Right. I’ll let you know.”

Terry insisted we swap mobile numbers, which we did, but as soon as I’d gotten all I could from Terry I got off the phone and took a breath. One deep breath for staring into the abyss – Regan really was missing. And then another breath for making the call I had to make next. I didn’t want to do this.
Not one little bit
. I made my breath slow as I stared into the nothingness of the Essex marshes along the bus route into town. And then I dialled Brandon’s number. The phone started to ring.

“Shit!” I said. I couldn’t do it. I hung up. It made it all too real.  So I procrastinated by calling Amanda’s phone. Her mobile rang and rang and rang until it finally cut off. I growled at my phone, and on a surge of emotion I started tapping out a text as quickly as I could.

“Amanda. If you are involved in this, I’m going to destroy you.”

There was nothing else to say. It was true. As I shook my head in anger, my phone started ringing. But it wasn’t Amanda. It was Brandon Lynes. My heart rocketed and hit the top of my skull before landing somewhere around my throat. I answered the call but couldn’t speak.

“Yes?” my word came out as a croak.

“Hi Ashley. Nice place where you live. Well, not really, but that’s what people are supposed to say when they’re being polite, right. But we’re past all that now, aren’t we? This town is a dump. You must be the finest thing ever to come from here. No wonder you ran away.”

I looked around the bus, making sure most people couldn’t hear me.

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Oh, that’s not nice. Not after I came all this way to meet your family.”

My breath stopped.

“Brandon… what have you done?”

He snapped.

“What the hell do you take me for? I haven’t done anything, except ask for the pleasure of your brother’s company. He looks like you, but you know, not as pretty, not as feminine, but he has your eyes.”

“Brandon, please don’t hurt him.”

“You’re telling me what to so, Ashley. You know I don’t like that. Don’t do that ever again. Our relationship just won’t work out well that way.”

“I want to speak to him, Brandon, please…?”

“Nice to hear you being respectful to me again. Come and meet me in town. There’s a Coffee shop at the bottom of the High Street by the shopping centre. Do you know it?”

“Yes, I know it.”

“Meet me in half an hour. Then we’ll talk.”

“I want to speak to Regan. I want to see him.”

“Ahhhh, sweet. I’ll be sure to tell him. See you in half an hour at the coffee shop.”

“Is Amanda with you, Brandon?”

“Yes. And Luke. When you get here it’ll be like home from home.”

Then the phone went dead.

It took me thirty five minutes to get to the coffee chain at the bottom of the High Street. The bus was slow, and passengers seemed to dawdle as they boarded and disembarked. I found myself silently cussing at old ladies as they dragged their shopping trolleys on board.

When the bus arrived in town I leapt off, scuffing my shoulders on the bus doors before they fully opened. I ran across the street towards the shopping centre and looked into the coffee shop window. It was late in the afternoon now and the light was waning, so the electric light in the coffee shop was on and sent a glow into the street. It was half empty, but this place was roomy and there were plenty of people inside drinking gargantuan cups of caffeine. There was no sign of Brandon. I wondered if he was playing me, messing with my head, or just lying. Then I wondered if I had missed him and that was the worst thought of all, because I wondered if he would punish my lateness by taking it out on Regan. I tried to put that thought away. I queued for a drink because I couldn’t sit in a coffee shop without one. The hiss and clatter of the coffee machine made my head ache. All I wanted was to sit and rock in a corner while I waited for Brandon, but I had to play the game of being a normal person. It was torture.  Eventually I picked up a simple Americano, and sat down at a two seater table by the window. I stared out onto the street, peering at every face that passed me. By the time my cup was mostly drained, and I was about to call Brandon and beg him to release Regan, suddenly there he was outside heading towards the door. He pushed into the coffee shop and I noticed several women and girls in the room notice him immediately. He had that effect on girls, not because he was famous, because he wasn’t yet. He was just so damn good looking. His sexual power seemed to carry on the air. I could still recognise he was good looking, but I didn’t see a Romeo anymore. I saw a despicable human being dressed up as a nice handsome male. But knowing these things didn’t defend me from him. When he sat down something about him had changed. Something about his eyes was spellbinding. They were clear and powerful again. He looked in good shape. It seemed being cruel was working well for him. I felt the eyes and ears of the nearest women locked on us. Brandon didn’t waste money on a coffee. Instead he sat down and smiled, and leaned forward on the table.

“I’d love to kiss you. You look so very sad. It’d be nice to cheer you up.”

I wanted to swear at him, to tell him to go to hell, but I just couldn’t risk it. I said nothing and he smiled as if he could read all of my thoughts.

“You could cheer me up by telling me where my brother is and letting him go. My mother is worried sick.”

“This is the brother who almost destroyed your college dream, am I right? Like you destroyed mine.”

There we had it. This was all about Brandon’s college life.

“Brandon… you did that to yourself. Now you’re taking revenge on me through my family. Please, don’t.”

“Ashley, sweet girl. You don’t understand me at all. This isn’t about revenge for losing my college place.”

He leaned closer across the table.

“I know you were fucking Professor Ridgley. I know you fucked Cody.”

“We were no longer an item then, Brandon. And those things are none of your business, whether they are true or not!”

“Oh, they’re true alright. The problem is that you weren’t free to do those things, Ashley. You were mine then, and you’re mine now.”

“Brandon…” I was about to argue, but what was the point. I looked into his fine big blue eyes and saw he was utterly convinced of what he said. His lunatic logic was a perfect circle. There was no way of reasoning with him at all.

“What do you want from me, Brandon? What will it take to get my brother free and unharmed by you?”

Brandon laid his hand over mine. I wanted to snatch mine away, but against my better instincts I left it there with his sickening hand on top.

“Honey, I want what I’ve always wanted. You in my bed.  Your body entwined with mine and you doing exactly what I say. How’s that for clarity.”

“That’s not me, Brandon. That’s not who I am. When we met, I thought you fell in love with me, not so you could make me into some puppet that you could control and destroy.”

“I’m not here to debate with you, Ashley. Revenge was never an issue, not where you’re concerned. Ridgley, Dean Mayhew, Professor Cantor, they’ll get theirs one day. But this right now, is all about getting us on the right track…”

I felt jealous eyes all around me in the coffee shop. Brandon had his hand on mine, looking at me with eyes of adoration. But it was all imaginary. Brandon wanted to own me like a pet, and when he had me, he’d toss me aside as he’d done with Amanda before me, to grow dusty and weak.

“What do you want me to do, Brandon?”

“That’s easy. I want you to come back with me now.  We’ll consummate our new start. I’ve missed your sweet little body, Ashley. I need you.” He squeezed my hand.

I opened my mouth but I couldn’t say yes. His eyes had hold of mine, and I felt the lure of him, the words of his desire speaking to my body, making the unthinkable seem easy, maybe even like a good thing to do… he did have such a fine body, and his eyes were so dreamily tempting. It would have been so nice to feel his skin on mine once again, wouldn’t it… and it would have saved my brother, too. I looked away. I was an idiot, a desperate bloody fool. I was shocked to find he could still push all my buttons like that.

“Brandon…”

“I know you want me, Ashley. I see it in your eyes. I can feel it.”

“Brandon I need time… You say this isn’t revenge, but you’ve got my brother held somewhere… I need to see him. I need to know he’s okay and I need you to let him go.”

“You need, I need so there we are. That’s exactly why I did this, Ashley. You just weren’t listening to me anymore, and now you are. Come with me. We can make love just like the first time, it will be special, I promise… and then your brother can go free.”

“You think I can have sex with you while my brother is what, locked away somewhere nearby? Get real, Brandon!”