Burnt (3 page)

It might be better that way. He was supposed to be hearing about leading the tribe; of ren
ewing the accord with the Urazin Empress for another twenty years of peace. The thought of fire, death and ash was beyond comprehension. The images throbbing in his mind, each inhalation of the noxious smoke filling the hut, they left him trembling. They were shaking his grip on the room, undermining his awareness of what was real. Better, maybe, to be tossed back into the village with no more blood-soaked visions clamoring in his head.

Still,
he needed to know. Every terrifying, exciting detail.

Amorette and Sojun sat down behind him.
They weren’t supposed to; they were supposed to stay standing in the shadows to preserve the impression that this was a private thing. But Kaie was so grateful for their silent presence pressing in close to his back that tears sprung to his itchy eyes. The Lemme waited, her glare sliding away as she observed this breach of tradition. But then, after all she had done, he supposed she was less concerned with such things than he was led to believe.

When the moments dragged on an
d no further interruptions came she spoke again. “Third. You will have five names, each more true than the last. Kaie the Unbroken. Kale the Whore King. Dane Ironfist. Kaie the Lost. And finally, when all else falls away, you will just be Kaie. First and last son of the Zetowan tribe. Leader of none and all and none again.”

The visions didn’t come this time. He was relieved. And disappointed.

“Fourth. You will be the Catalyst, drawing destruction and violence to you everywhere you go. You will meet gods and start wars. All you love will know strife and death. All you hate will know it in greater amounts.”

“And the last?” It came out as a whisper. Just moments ago, when he first walked into this horrible place, he would be embarrassed to sound so weak and childish. Now the whole world was shifted. He was grateful he could say so much.

She smiled. “Last, best. You are the one. It is your destiny to fulfill the oath given to us by the High King. You will sit at the right hand of a Winged Queen. Your voice will be heard, your word will be law. The debt owed to our tribe for 4,000 years will find its resolution in you and all will be greater for it. Your mind will forget sooner than you can imagine, but your heart cannot. Fate has written her name down in the core of you. In the dark, terrifying places that you will find yourself, that forgotten promise will sustain you. It will endure long after the food and water are gone.”

Her vision done, her words spoken, the Lemme turned her back on the three with a finality that did not need to be voiced. His head swirling worse with every beat of his racing heart, Kaie stumbled to his feet and out the door. He didn’t spare the slightest glance backward, even to be sure Sojun and Amorette were following. He couldn’t, for the minute he was able to draw in the crisp, clean air outside, he found himself hunched over a small bush just outside her hut.

Kaie puked all over it.

The moment he was done Sojun wrapped his arm around his shoulders and helped drag him back into the village. There weren’t any rules in regard to not getting sick after meeting the Lemme but it wasn’t going to do his reputation any favors. Soon, he would probably be grateful for the care his friend was taking to avoid that. He might even care what state that reputation was in. Just that moment, though, he was locked in images of fire and death and Amorette kneeling in blood-colored snow.

“Have you ever heard of anything like that?” Sojun was asking. “Five destinies? And what she said…”

Amorette shook her head. “I went with Esme. She only talked about the family and having babies. But this? Gods, Kaie…”

He was supposed to say
something. He didn’t know what but it seemed like she was waiting for him to speak. He opened his lips, hoping that what came out would make more sense than anything going on in his head. After of standing there with his mouth agape for several minutes with no sounds forming, he gave up and shut it again.

Sojun’s chuckle was stilted. “At least some things will never change.”

Amorette’s brows knit. “What do you mean?”

Kaie could feel
the tenseness in Jun’s muscles no matter how light his friend was trying to seem. “Our Rosy doesn’t do anything by halves. Including his future, I guess. It’s kind of comforting.”

“Sure,” she agreed with a heavy sigh. “If you think dying five times is comforting.”

The tone in her voice was off. Flat, like the way someone sounded when they were saying storms were unpleasant. Kaie thought it was just him, but Sojun twisted his head in a way that said otherwise. For a second the air crackled with a tension new to the three of them - or new to him anyway. He got the sense it was not quite so rare for them. They were, he realized with a start, about to fight. It was his fault.

That jarred him out of
the fog. A bit at least. “I saw it,” he murmured. “The things she said. I saw them.”

It
was very effective at putting a stop to the brewing argument. Not a gradual slowing or even an abrupt halt. They truly stopped talking, moving, breathing, everything. For two heartbeats, and then three, his friends were as still as the unchanging mountains that cut up the horizon.

“What do you mean?” Her words were barely whispers but he heard the fear. It was not a sound he ever thought to hear from Amorette. “You had visions?”

He shook his head. The simple move seemed to release them. Sojun sagged, his relief visible. Amorette’s eyes drifted past them, her attention shifting in the direction of the Lemme’s hut. She clasped her right thumb in her left hand and rubbed at the nail vigorously and obsessively. It was a gesture he didn’t know and one that brought him no comfort. Kaie didn’t want to inspire more of it but he couldn’t hide the truth. Not from them.

“They weren’t visions. Not exactly, I don’t think. Just flashes. Like… like memories. Ones I don’t have yet. I don’t know. But I saw it, in my mind’s eyes. The fires, the armies…”

Sojun turned him with a violence Kaie didn’t know his friend possessed. Before he realized what was happening, he was staring into hard grey eyes that were empty of all the laugher that was supposed to be there. “Don’t. Kaie, you are my heart’s brother. I will walk through those fires with you and there is nothing you can do to stop that. But don’t you ever say such things.”

“But I saw it, Jun
. They weren’t visions, but I saw it. You have to believe me!”

“I do. Gods help me, I do. We all will. That’s the problem, don’t you see it?” Sojun paused, looking around as if he only just recalled that they we
re in the middle of the village where anyone left behind might hear them. His friend’s jaw set into firm lines that erased all traces of all traces of the happy boy Kaie grew up with. Without another word Jun dragged him the rest of the way down the path. He pushed them all into the hut Kaie’s father built.

The hu
t was very nice, though Lodan was no builder. He liked to say that his mind was not as large as his wife’s and that the histories he kept there filled it up too much for any useful skills like hunting and farming and building. But he did a fine job with Kaie’s new home. The wood was well chosen, carefully cut and finished. Each piece fit snugly with the ones beside it so that not a sliver of empty space remained between them for the winds to get in. The fire pit was made of dense white stones all smoothed down until they almost seemed a single rock. Lavender and sage were hung all around filling the single room with a wonderful smell that instantly brought to mind the best of his mother’s cooking. Those were touches only Lodan would think of.

Once the door was pressed firmly into place and the rawhide strip was laced around t
he peg designed to keep it shut Sojun turned back to them with a troubled face. “Look, it’s bad enough, your destiny. Greatness is one thing, but this…You were just supposed to lead us. This is too much. And if they find out you’ve had a vision…It’s taboo for a reason!”

“It wasn’t a vision,” he insisted.

“That doesn’t matter,” Sojun said sadly. “They’ll be terrified. I love you, and I am terrified. If they think you’ve seen a glimpse of the future…”

Jun didn’t need to finish the thought. It wasn’t the tribe that made it taboo for men to receive visions. It was the god Kosa.
The tribe’s Lemme, all of them, were descendants of the First Mother. He was the Lemme’s sister son. He was just as capable of the visions as his mother was. The tribe would not understand that it was not a true vision.

“They’ll exile me,” he finished in barely a whisper.

“What are you talking about? They wouldn’t do that! You’re family. We aren’t barbarians. We don’t drive away blood.” Amorette’s voice verged on shrieking. Kaie cringed.

“No. He’s not family anymore. Dammit, don’t look at me like that Ams! Do you think I’m happy about this? I’m not saying he’s not my family. He is, always. ‘Til my last breath in this life and on past my first in the next. But this changes things. You know it too. You both do. Leading armies, killing people… These aren’t things of the tribe. They aren’t of our family. And if they think
you’ll bring down Kosa’s wrath…” Sojun trailed off and dropped his head into his hands for a moment.

When he looked up, his eyes were hard again. “I know you won’t, Kaie. I know it. But they won’t listen to me. They won’t listen to your parents either. Not in this. You know it. Rosy, you can’t tell them. We’ll figure something out, some way to soften the Lemme’s words. But you can never speak of this. You have to forget it. We all have to forget it.”

“You would have him lie? That would be unforgivable.
That
would make them drive him out.” Amorette’s volume was back to its regular pitch, which was good. She was still rubbing at her thumbnail, though. He couldn’t help but think that was less good. “This must be his power. That’s all. He’s not a seer. This is just the old magics coming out, letting him see through the Lemme’s eyes or something. The family will find a way to accept it. They have to. After what she said, about him fulfilling the oath, they have to.”

He desperately wanted to believe Amorette. He wanted to go to his father, the Keeper of the Old World, and speak of everything
that happened. If she was right he would know. It was his job to remember everything from the long ago and the old magics. Lodan would know if what he experienced was the power they already knew was in him. The whole tribe was waiting for that power to manifest. If Lodan told them that was all the images were, that Amorette was right, there would be no reason to fear Kosa. But he knew better. If she was wrong, if he was a seer, his father would be bound by oaths and duty to tell the tribe. Being his son, Lodan would hesitate. But in the end he would not be able to hide it.

And Sojun was right. The things the Lemme said, they separated him. There were no murders in the tribe, not in over four centuries. There were no armies to lead, no battles to be fought. The Zetowan tribe fought with their words and their faith. They only took lives of animals to feed the tribe, offering thanks to the spirit of the fallen after each kill. Any who wished it to be otherwise were not of th
e family. They were driven away to protect the peace and for the sake of the spirits of the people. Kaie didn’t want war, didn’t want death. But if there was a chance he was a seer, his wants would not be enough to change what was needed. They would drive him out.

With despair
he dropped his gaze from Amorette. He loved her and wished her ferocity was enough to make her words true. But she was wrong and if he followed her path he would find himself alone the next time the Finders came to the woods.

“What do I do, Jun?”

Sojun hugged him hard enough to hurt. Kaie nearly took the excuse to sob, realizing that this might be the last gesture of kinship he would receive from anyone. Being the one destined for the oath meant nothing if he was not of the family.

“You will stay in your home, heart’s brother. You’ll think on your destiny. I will sit with you today. Together… together we’ll find the meaning that won’t turn the minds of the fa
mily to fear. And then tomorrow Amorette will sit with you. She’ll hear what we have found and will say it’s the truth of things.”

Meaning they would lie. On the morning of the third day, before the ceremony, Amorette and Sojun would be called separately to speak on what the Lemme foretold. Each was to give their understanding of her words. They were allowed to discuss it during the day they shared togethe
r but only for the purpose of helping him understand his destiny. They weren’t supposed to allow his interpretation to impact their own. What Sojun was suggesting was more than forbidden. There weren’t rules to cover such a thing. The Lemme’s visions were the foundation of the tribe. To alter them, even to soften them… It was unfathomable.

He looked back to Amorette. She wouldn’t agree to it. She couldn’t. She was
always extreme in her reactions, but this was just crazy. He didn’t want her to agree. It was bad enough that his future was already changing Jun so much.

Her pale eyes flashed with emotions he couldn’t name. Her lips were pressed so tightly into a thin line they lost their color. She glanced over to Sojun, no doubt trying to figure out how they could both become so corrupted in such a short time. He waited for her to refuse, to shun them both as they deserved. Anyone who could harbor such thoughts could not be family.

Slowly, tears sliding down her cheek, Amorette nodded. Then, just like she was supposed to, she walked out the door. He and Sojun were alone for their day together.