Bursting With Love (18 page)

JACK HAD FORGOTTEN how much he enjoyed driving his father’s old Ford F-150. He’d given it to Jack when he and Linda had purchased the chalet. Jack was a motorcycle guy, not a truck guy, and at the time, he’d taken the truck as a way to hold on to the memories of riding shotgun with his father when he was just a boy. For all his father’s gruff exterior, when he was in the old truck, that facade seemed to fall away. He’d ramble on about life, war stories, but not in the preaching way he usually did. When they were in the truck, it was almost as if his father forgot that Jack was his eldest son, and instead he spoke with the ease of a storyteller. Jack loved the old truck because of those memories. At first when he’d driven it, it had felt too confined, too slow, and too plain for Jack’s taste, with the navy blue stripes above and below a wide silver band that ran around the body of the truck. Over the years, Jack had used it to haul lumber, move rocks, and pick up furniture, and such. Now, as the old truck ambled up the driveway on his way back from Home Depot, Jack took comfort in the vehicle. He liked knowing that his father had driven it before him, and he was coming to terms with the size and heft of it.
It only took twelve years
.

He parked the truck and unlocked the front door of the chalet, thinking about his visit with Ralph. He hadn’t been prepared for the reality of Ralph’s deteriorating condition or for his reaction to all that had transpired between them. Ralph’s love for Jack, and his acceptance of the idea of another woman in Jack’s life, should have been all Jack needed to move forward, but mending the fissure with his own family still loomed over him. He used the good that came from his visit with Ralph to spur himself into action. He couldn’t change the past, but he could create a better future. First he had to gain control of his own life.

Jack carried the new door over his head as he mounted the stairs to the second floor. The sight of the splintered wood on the floor of the nursery turned his stomach.
What if Savannah had seen this?
Jack didn’t work very hard at fooling himself. He knew that Savannah had seen that angry side of him. Hell, everyone had. But she didn’t need to see the evidence of his broken shell. He didn’t want to be that angry man anymore, and with Ralph’s blessing and a plan in mind, he was determined to change.

 With the new door installed and the old one in the back of the truck, he swept the last of the rubble into the dustpan, then vacuumed the small room and drew the curtains open. The afternoon sun had already disappeared, and evening was creeping in. He checked his watch and wondered what time Savannah got off work.
Savannah
. Even her name felt exotic. She’d blown his mind last night with her honesty, her openness, and her loving touch. It wasn’t the physical act of being intimate. It was the way she put her heart into every stroke of her hand, every spoken word, and every kiss of her full, soft lips. She accepted his baggage. Instead of pushing him to move past it or ridiculing him for being weak, she’d simply led him away from the bedroom. Jack imagined that was not how most women would have reacted. Then again, Savannah wasn’t like any woman he’d ever known. He’d been so damn nervous when he’d touched her, and she felt so good beneath him and on top of him.
Damn, she felt good
. But there was more to a relationship than sex, and if anyone knew that, it was Jack. When he was in the military, he’d seen too many marriages fall apart while the men were on tour. A third of his team lost their wives to infidelity. He hadn’t understood it then, and he didn’t understand it now. Sex was a great release, but intimacy encompassed so much more, and it was the closeness of knowing each other that he missed most.

Jack went downstairs and pulled his cell phone from the drawer in the kitchen. He typed in Savannah’s number, which had been running through his mind since the evening before, and created a contact and speed-dial number for her. He scrolled through the few names in his address book. Elise, Kurt, Linda, Mom and Dad, Ralph, Rush, Sage, Dex and Siena. He scrolled back up to Linda’s name and hovered over the edit icon.
I will always love you.
He clicked edit, took a deep breath and closed his eyes, steeling himself against whatever emotions might fight back, and then Jack opened his eyes and clicked delete. He released his breath and stood frozen in place, waiting for the emotional onslaught to hit. The house was silent, save for the fluttering of the curtains. Jack’s pulse remained constant. His gut didn’t take a nosedive. He carried the phone to the back deck and sat on a chair.

“I did it. That’s a step.” Jack looked up at the sky, contemplating his next move. He felt like he was in a giant chess game and the right move would bring him to the other side, but the wrong move might take him out of the game altogether—and he’d already been out of the game for way too long. He pushed Savannah’s speed-dial number, and she answered on the second ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey, beautiful.” Her voice sent a thrill through his chest.

“Jack, hi. How’d it go?”

He pictured their kiss goodbye earlier that morning, the way her black slacks hugged her curves and drove a streak of jealousy through his heart. He’d had no competition when they were on the mountain, and the thought of her being ogled by men was unsettling.

“It went well. Ralph isn’t doing well, but we talked and it was good.”

“Yeah?” Savannah asked.

He could hear the restraint in her voice and knew she had a million questions. “Yeah. I’ll share the details when we see each other.”
Shit. I shouldn’t assume you’re free to see me
.

“Okay. I’m getting off work in about an hour. What’s on your plate tonight?”

“I was hoping you were.”
I sound like a cheesy movie
. “I mean—”

Savannah laughed. He loved her sense of humor.

“That sounds good to me, too. Want to come over? We could grab some dinner, talk?”

“I would like nothing more. I need to make a few calls, but I can leave here in half an hour or so. I should be there in less than two hours. Does that work?” It seemed like forever to him.

“Perfect. I’ll pick up some wine on the way home,” Savannah offered.

If I’m going to do this, I have to do it all the way.
Jack hadn’t spent any time in the city since Linda’s death. There were too many people to avoid in the city, and he’d thought he’d seen accusations in everyone’s eyes. As if they’d all known he’d let Linda leave the house the night of the accident. But after talking to Ralph and realizing how wrong he’d been and how he’d misinterpreted so many things, Jack wondered if he’d been projecting his guilt on to everything and everyone in his life. He was about to find out.

“Let’s go out and have a nice dinner. Nothing fancy.”
Another step in the right direction
. “Is that okay, or are you too tired from work?”

“I’m tired…but not from work.”

Her seductive tone had him stifling a groan. “Savannah, if you only knew what you do to me with your innuendos.” He looked down at his erection straining beneath his zipper.

“Oh, I have a good idea.”

He heard her grin, and it only heightened his desires. “See you soon.”

Jack ended the call and paced the deck, trying to calm his urges and debating whom he should call first. It took only a few minutes for him to decide.

“Hello?”

His sister’s voice felt like coming home after a long trip: warm and inviting. “Siena?”

Silence stopped him in his tracks.

“Jack?” she asked in a hushed breath.

“Hi, honey.”

“Jack. I can’t believe it’s you. Oh my God, Jack. Where are you? How are you?” Her words tumbled fast and hard.

“I’m back in Bedford Corners, and I’m pretty good, actually. I have a favor to ask—” Before he could finish his sentence, Siena interrupted him.

“Anything, Jack. Whatever you need.”

Jack knew he didn’t deserve her unconditional love, but he was thankful just the same. He cleared his throat in an effort to push away the lump that tried to suppress his voice.

“I want to see everyone, but I know Rush won’t come willingly to meet me. Would you mind having a dinner or something at your place, or maybe Dad’s? I…I have a few things I need to say. Hell, I have a lot to say, and I want to say it to everyone.” Jack felt more like a favorite uncle than a brother to Siena, Dex, and Sage because of the age difference between them, whereas between Jack, Rush, and Kurt, there was a span of only seven years.

“I can’t tell you how happy that makes me. Mom and Dad are going to be over the moon, and yes, of course I’ll do it. I’ll figure something out. Rush is pretty grizzly these days when we bring up your name, so I’m not sure what you should expect, but I’ll do it.” She paused, and Jack imagined her running her hand through her long brown hair. Siena had been modeling since she was eight. Although Jack hadn’t seen his family more than a couple of times over the last two years, he’d made a point of keeping tabs on what they had going on in their lives, and he knew that Siena was more beautiful than ever, with his mother’s tall, slim figure and his father’s deep blue eyes.

“Thanks, honey. I really appreciate your help.” When Linda died, Jack had secretly wished that his family didn’t still reside so close together—all within an hour and a half of New York City. Now he was glad they did.

“Hey, Jack? Are you really going to try this time?”

The worry in her voice tugged at his heart. He hadn’t meant to give her false hope before, but meaning to and doing were two very different things. Jack had no intention of failing her—or failing himself—again. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to fail Savannah.

“Honey, you know how hard I tried to disappear?”

“All too well.” Siena sighed.

“That’s how hard I’m gonna try to make this right. I have to run, but, Siena?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you. I hope you know that. And I love Dex, Sage, Kurt, and Rush, too. That’s never changed. I just got lost for a little while.” Jack felt like the trees had parted and a path appeared before him.

“I know, Jack. We all know that, even Rush. He’s just being a jerk. I love you. I need to be able to reach you when I get it set up. Are you going to actually use your cell again, or are you going to carry it turned off forever? I never understood why you did that. It’s so expensive to pay for if you’re not going to use it.”

Sometimes Jack forgot how careful Siena had always been with finances. She had more money than he ever would, and she still lived like she was always on her last dime.

“It was for emergencies, but I’m leaving it on now. Call me anytime, okay?”

After he ended the call with Siena, he took the stairs two at a time to the master bedroom. Hearing the smile in his sister’s voice renewed his determination. He’d rued nightfall and dreaded the dawn of the coming day for way too long. He was going to fix this shit if it took everything he had. Being with Savannah woke him up and gave him hope for a future. Ralph had opened another door in his heart—the one that would allow him to heal the wounds that he’d caused to his relationship with his family.

Jack took a pair of jeans and a black button-down shirt from his closet and headed into the bathroom. Beneath the warm spray of the shower, he realized what he’d done without any thought at all. His heart had chosen the indoor shower, and his body hadn’t hesitated. He stared at the two shampoo bottles—one lavender, the other dark blue—then he picked up the purple one, stepped from the shower, and crossed the floor buck naked and dripping wet. He tossed Linda’s shampoo bottle in the trash, then glanced at her sink. He retrieved the trash can, whipped open the cabinet beneath the sink, and swept all of her belongings into it. Then he set it down and stepped back into the shower.
I turned off my emotions. It’s time to turn them back on.

SAVANNAH FINISHED DRYING her hair and putting on her makeup, mentally ticking off her outfits and trying to decide what to wear for dinner with Jack. She tightened the towel around her body and walked across the hall to her bedroom, stopping to answer her cell phone.

“Hey, Aida. I’m in a hurry, sorry.”

“Do we have a hot date?” she asked.

“I do, but you have to give me time to get to know him before I spring you on him. That would be like feeding him to the wolves on his first day in the forest. I can’t even believe he wants to go to dinner. He said he doesn’t really like cities.” She dried off with the phone pressed between her ear and shoulder, then stepped into her sexiest lace thong.

“Dinner? That sounds nice. Where are you going?”

“I haven’t even thought about it. Any suggestions? I think I’d like to eat outside, if I can eat at all. I have a feeling I won’t be able to. Can you believe I’ve had butterflies in my stomach since he called?” She flipped through her closet and decided to dress a little sexier for Jack. He’d only seen her in jeans and her work clothes.
Time for a thrill
.

“Butterflies? What are you, twelve? I don’t think I’ve ever had butterflies in my life.”

Aida was as confident and aggressive with men as she was in the courtroom, and Savannah couldn’t imagine her being nervous about anything. “I know. It’s stupid, right?”

“I don’t know. Catherine believes in the whole fall-in-love, butterflies thing. But then again, I think all the assistants at our office do. That’s so weird.” She sighed. “What about that new little bistro on the corner by your place? You can eat outside, and it’s not too stuffy. I can’t imagine that a guy who doesn’t like cities wants to be around an uptight crowd.”

Savannah pulled a white minidress from her closet and held it against her in front of the mirror. “That sounds like a great idea. Now, help me pick out a dress. What about my scoop-necked white mini? He said casual, but he’s only seen me in jeans.”

“You know what that dress says, right? Remember how Connor reacted when he saw you in it?” Aida reminded her. “You ended up leaving the cocktail party to have sex in his car.”

Savannah crinkled her nose at the memory. “Thanks for that. I’ll burn the dress tomorrow.” She flipped through a few more outfits. “Long-sleeved black mini?”

“Still says fuck me, but you could probably get away with it. At least all your skin wouldn’t be exposed. So, dinner, then your place?” Aida asked.

Savannah dropped her towel and slipped the dress over her head. “I guess. I don’t know or care. I just want to spend time with him.” She turned from side to side and smiled. “This looks hot.”

“Of course. How could it look anything but? Boots, heels, or casual flats?”

“Well, boots say sexy, and heels just feel wrong. He’s an outdoorsman, not a dress-up guy. But he is like six four, so I’m not sure flats are the best choice either.” Savannah stared at the shoes in her closet, wishing she could just go barefoot. “You know what? Maybe I should just wear jeans. I feel like I look as if I’m trying too hard.”

Aida sighed loudly. “You don’t even have to try. He’s into you, and you know that. You said you’re falling in love with him. Why are you so nervous? Aren’t you supposed to know true love by how comfortable you are?”

“That’s all part of it, I think. I don’t know. I haven’t been in love before. I’m changing out of this.” She glanced at the clock. “Shit. He’s gonna be here any minute. Can we catch up in the morning?”

“Of course. But I vote for the hot outfit.”

A knock at the door sent a panic through her. “Shit. He’s here. I gotta go.”

She ended the call and debated tearing off her dress and putting on a pair of jeans. Another knock sent her hurrying down the hallway toward the front door, wishing she’d planned ahead like most women would have.

She pulled open the door with a ready smile, which fell flat the minute she saw Connor Dean. All six foot five, two hundred thirty pounds of him, complete with his Stetson and an armful of red roses. She shook her head. Blinked her eyes.
This has to be a bad joke
.

“Connor.”

“Hello, darlin’.” He swooped in and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her against him, then kissed her so hard their teeth knocked.

It took Savannah a minute to get her bearings and realize that his mouth was attached to hers in a very intimate and deep kiss that felt oh-so-good and was totally not what she wanted. She blinked away the confusion and tried to push him away as Jack’s face came into focus over Connor’s shoulder.

Shitshitshitshitshit
.

FROM THE THIRD-floor landing, Jack watched the tall, handsome man with a bunch of roses in his arms knock on Savannah’s door. He lowered his chin and narrowed his eyes. The stab of jealousy he’d felt earlier that morning reappeared. He was ten feet away when Savannah opened the door. Five feet when the man took her in his arms and kissed her like he’d been there before, like the kiss was as familiar as the fucking cowboy hat he wore. He was inches from the man’s back when Savannah opened her eyes and met his stare, then pushed at the man’s stomach to try to disengage from the attack on her mouth.

Jack put one hand on the man’s shoulder and yanked, knocking him off kilter. The man stumbled backward and spun around.

“Dude? Do you mind?” the man spat. He looked at Savannah again and managed a forced smile.

Jack fisted his hands. His chest rocked up and down as he closed the gap between them. He gritted his teeth and reminded himself that Savannah wasn’t really his to protect, and he had no idea who this guy was. “Actually, I do.” Jack’s voice was cold as ice.

“Jack.” Savannah touched his arm.

He kept his eyes trained on the man with the roses.

“Connor, what are you doing here?”

Connor?

She tried to pull Jack away from him, but Jack was rooted to the ground. He’d rather the guy had his back against the wall until he figured out what the hell was going on.

“I came to apologize,” Connor said. He shoved the flowers beneath Jack’s arm toward Savannah.

“Apologize?” Jack shifted his gaze to Savannah.

Savannah blushed and looked away. “He’s the reason I went on the survival weekend.”

Jack’s blood simmered. He drew his eyes back to Connor. “This is the asshole who cheated on you?” Jack wanted to pick the bastard up by his collar and heave him down the stairs, then pummel him until he couldn’t move. But the look on Savannah’s face stopped him from moving a muscle. Embarrassment deepened the blush on her cheeks. He couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed by his aggression or if she was embarrassed by the prick showing up. And he didn’t trust himself enough to decipher the truth.

Connor held up his arms. “Whoa, listen. It was all a misunderstanding.” He shot a worried look at Savannah from beneath Jack’s hulking stare. “Tell him, Savannah.”

Savannah narrowed her eyes at Connor. She crossed her arms and said in a harsh tone, “He’s not worth it. Just let him go.”

Jack stepped back, and as Connor moved around him, he grabbed his collar. His need to set the cheating asshole straight was too strong to ignore. He didn’t want to have to worry that Connor would return and put his lips on Savannah again. Jack clenched his jaw, and with one arm, he lifted Connor two inches off the ground.

“You owe her a real apology.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Savannah.” Connor held his hands up in surrender.

“Jack,” Savannah whispered.

The edge to Savannah’s voice had him lowering Connor back down to his feet and pinning him to the landing with a hot stare. “I suggest you learn how to treat a lady.”

Jack watched Connor disappear down the stairs. Then he wrapped his arms around Savannah. Only then did he realize she was trembling. “Are you okay?”

She nodded, snuggling against his chest.

“I’m sorry I was so aggressive, but I saw him kissing you, and the look in your eyes was—”

She looked up at him, and the fear in her eyes fell away. “Don’t be. I’m glad you were here. He’s the last person on earth I want to kiss.”

Jack’s boots added an inch to his height, and with Savannah in her bare feet, she was a good eight inches shorter than him. She looked vulnerable and small, and even though he knew she was anything but, the urge to protect her was strong no matter how fierce she might be in a courtroom—or when pulling herself away from him in the mountains. He leaned down and placed his hands along the curves of her cheeks and the sleek line of her jaw and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

“I don’t think anyone has ever protected me like that other than my brothers.”

Jack took her hand and led her into the apartment. “I can’t lie to you, Savannah. There was a jealous streak that ran through me. I haven’t been jealous in…God…ten years or more.”

Savannah ran her finger down the center of his chest. “Jealous, huh?”

Jack scrubbed his face with his hand and breathed out a long sigh, allowing his muscles to unclench and his eyes to take in Savannah’s minidress, which hugged every inch of her alluring figure.

“It’s not nice to stare,” she teased.

“Jesus. You…Savannah, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman look as pretty as you do right now.” He gathered her hair and held it in his hand, then leaned down and kissed her neck. “Mm, and you smell sinfully delicious.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him just below his earlobe.

Jack closed his eyes, enjoying the thrum of desire that coursed through him. He drew back from her and smiled. “We have dinner plans, remember?”

She looked up at the ceiling. “Ah, yes, dinner.”

“Do you want to talk about that guy?” Jack couldn’t even say his name.

“How about on the way to the restaurant? I was just gonna throw on jeans, actually.”

She started toward the hall, and Jack grabbed her wrist and spun her back to him. He put one hand on the small of her back, and with the other, he held her hand against his chest. “Don’t,” he whispered.

“Don’t?”

Jack shook his head. He loved seeing the curves of her lithe figure, feeling the arc of her hip and the dip at the base of her spine beneath his hand with only the thin fabric between them. Most of all, he loved knowing that in a few hours they would be alone in her apartment again, and all that waiting would be worth every blessed second when he finally got to take that little dress off.