Bushedwhacked Groom (34 page)

Everyone was laughing over this as a familiar female
voice called out from below, “Well, howdy, folks!”

Lucky watched as Billy and Dumpling, each carrying a baby, climbed the stands to join them, with Cory
helping along the three older boys. After hugs and hellos were exchanged, Dumpling settled her ample form next to Jessica and declared breathlessly,
“
We almost never got out of the house this morning.”

Jessica reached out to touch Fanny’s cheek, and the
infant gurgled at her. ‘‘Oh, no, are the babies still ill?”

“Pshaw! The babies are fine, but Billy was too busy
retching up all the redeye he drank last night.”

“I was not, woman!” Billy retorted indignantly, while
hastily trying to conceal a redeye bottle in his jacket
pocket.

The group was still chuckling when a paunchy man
wearing western garb and a silver star on his chest
moved out to the center of the clearing and waved an
arm. As the crowd quieted, he announced, “Folks, I’m
Leroy Lummety, sheriff of
Colorado
City
. I’d like to wel
come you all to Buffalo Bill Cody’s Wild West show, fea
turing Pawnee Bill and Chief Wa-Na-Sa-Ga. We’re mighty pleased to have Colonel Cody here with us on
his farewell tour.”

As applause broke out, Jessica whispered to Lucky,
“
I read in the
Denver Post
that Buffalo Bill has been on his ‘farewell’ tour for over two years now.”

“And no doubt he’ll remain there for several more to
come,” Lucky quipped.

Lummety waved his arms to gain everyone’s atten
tion. “Ladies and gentlemen, remember we want you
to enjoy yourselves today. But we’ll tolerate no misbe
havior. No firin’ guns, spittin’ tobacco or mingling with
the performers, ya hear? Now let the show begin!”

As another cheer went up from the gathering, the
Wild West troupe galloped into view, beginning with
Buffalo Bill Cody himself, prancing about on his magnificent snowy horse. Lucky noted that Bill was frontier
elegance personified, with his flowing white hair and
beard, and wearing an elaborate buckskin costume
and hat. The colonel was followed by Pawnee Bill on
his brown charger, and Chief Wa-Na-Sa-Ga on his color
ful appaloosa; the chief sported full Indian regalia, in
cluding a massive war bonnet. The leaders were trailed
by dozens of gaudily dressed Indians on paint horses, along with actors portraying soldiers and horsemen.

Following the grand entry, the attendees were en
tranced by the precision riding of the Rough Riders,
demonstrations of cattle roping and buffalo stam
pedes, followed by a full-blown battle between Indians, cowboys and cavalry. Hearing the harrowing war
cries, inhaling the acrid smoke from fake bullets,
Lucky was awed, realizing he was truly watching a mo
ment of living history—even if recreated history.

The mock battle was, of course, soundly won by the
cowboys. Afterward, Colonel Cody demonstrated his
shooting skills, riding about with an Indian compan
ion, shooting at glass globes the warrior tossed into
the air.

Then came the grand finale. The crowd stood, cheering, as all the Indians, soldiers and horsemen
galloped about in a circle, whooping and firing their
guns into the air.

***

As the throng slowly began to disperse, Cory Reklaw
waited with bated breath for the moment when Ida
May Trumble would come down the bleachers. He
desperately needed to have a word with his sweetheart
and realized this might be his one chance.

At last he watched in mingled fascination and longing as Ezra led his girls down the bleachers, followed
by Sheriff Hackett and the Hickses. He managed to
catch Ida May’s eye, and she bravely waved back.

As his brothers dutifully followed his parents down
the steps, Cory seized his opportunity and slipped
away. He squeezed his way upward through the
masses, trying his best to emerge behind Trumble but near Ida May. At last he reached her side and touched
her arm. Tensely he whispered, “Ida May, I really must
talk to you—”

Even as she turned to smile at him, Trumble spied
him, whirled about and stormed up to confront him.
“What the hell do you think you’re doin’ speaking to
my daughter, you little snot?”

Cory gulped. “Sir, may I please have a word with
Ida—”

The next thing Cory knew, Trumble slammed him across the jaw and he went tumbling down the bleach
ers.

***

Lucky was escorting Molly through the crowd when he
heard a gasp ripple through the assemblage. He
glanced upward to see Ezra Trumble hit Cory, and
Cory come crashing down the steps.

Cory’s family had also spotted the altercation and
was stirred into an instant frenzy. “0h, no, Cory!” Jessica
exclaimed, her hands flying to her face.

“Dammit!” Cole roared.

“Did you see what that bastard did to our brother?”
Vance yelled to Zach.

“I’ll go kill the sonofabitch, Cole!” exclaimed Uncle
Billy, depositing a plump infant in Dumpling’s arms.

“Hey, what about me?” cried Dumpling, trying to jug
gle both babies. “I’m right good at killin’ folks.”

“No,
I’ll
murder him!” announced Grandma, thundering off with her new Indian broom.

Watching his mother’s departure, Cole was aghast.
“No, Ma, let me!” he hollered, too late. Frantically, he
turned to Jessica. “You go see about Cory. Billy and me
gotta go rescue Ma.” As the boys opened their mouths,
Cole added sternly, “You boys stay out of it.”

Billy and Cole rushed off after Grandma, and Jessica
ran for Cory. Molly turned to her brothers. “Let’s go
help Pa and Uncle Billy”

“You bet!” said Matt.

“Hey, you’re not going anywhere without me,” Lucky
scolded his wife.

“Then let’s go.”

They vaulted up the bleachers, just in time to watch
Grandma confront Trumble and roar, “Ez, I’ve had my fill of you treating my grandsons like the dirt on my broom!” Then, before their amazed eyes, she raised her
broom and whacked Trumble square across the face,
sending him spilling down the steps.

***

“Cory, darling, are you all right?” Jessica asked anxiously.

Down at the bottom of the bleachers, Cory winced and blinked, spotting his ma hovering over him. His
jaw smarted like hell and his entire body ached from
the tumble he’d taken. “Damn, but that old codger p
acks a punch.”

“How badly are you hurt?” she asked anxiously.

“Not too bad, Ma. Don’t worry. Help me up?”

Jessica extended her hand and Cory got to his feet
with a grimace. His head pounded and he felt as if
he’d been battered with a fence post.

But then he became aware of the sounds of enraged shouting, and his pain soon took a backseat to his fas
cination with the scene unfolding above him. He
watched his grandma broom Ezra Trumble across the
jaw, watched Ezra tumble down the bleachers. Then
Sheriff Hackett surged forward to grab Grandma, and
Lucky, Molly and Cory’s brothers all threw themselves
at him to liberate her. Grandma broke free, only to
have Dulcine Hicks shriek at her and tear at her hair;
Dulcine only got broomed in the face for her efforts.

With a roar, the Hicks boys leaped into the fray to
defend Dulcine and Sheriff Hackett, and a free-for-all
ensued. Ezra Trumble crawled back up the bleachers, tottered to his feet, swung his fist at Matt Reklaw and
hit Winky Hicks instead. Then he raised his hand at Cole and got knocked back down the stairs by Molly
for his troubles. Jeeter Hicks tried to slug Molly and got
hurled off the stands by Lucky instead. Bart Hicks launched himself at Lucky, only to have Uncle Billy
break a bottle of redeye over his head.

Meanwhile, the Trumble girls and everyone else
stood watching the brawl in combined fascination
and horror, just as Cory and his mother were doing.

At last Cory cringed at the sound of a rifle being
fired. He turned to see Sheriff Lummety standing
nearby, and heard him yell up at the combatants, “Stop that there brawlin’ right now or the lot of you is headed
for the hoosegow!”

The donnybrook continued unabated, complete
with screams and expletives.

Waving his hands in disgust, the sheriff stormed off
and began gathering up a makeshift posse to help him break up the fight.

***

“Molly! Molly!”

In the midst of flying fists and earsplitting curses,
Lucky had little time to battle the other side. He was
too busy trying to protect his she-devil of a wife.

When she kneed Linus Hicks in the groin, he bel
lowed in pain, and his brother Jeeter tried to push Molly
off the stands. Lucky plunged in and slammed the bastard down the stairs. Then Molly jumped on Sheriff
Hackett’s back and began pounding him across the
head. When Hackett tried to shake her off, Lucky pum
meled him in the belly. Then Molly spotted her grandma
and Dulcie Hicks rolling around on the bleachers, fight
ing, hair-pulling and shrieking; she stormed over and
gave Dulcie a mighty kick in the rear. She helped her
grandma get up and retrieved her broom.

Lucky laughed at the sight, and unexpectedly his heart welled with pride. What a little hellcat he had
married! Molly truly was a woman equal to him in
every way, he realized. She had her mother’s courage, but also her grandma’s gumption. She fascinated him
on every level. And she was right; how boring his life
would have been with a traditional wife. She was the
woman he’d wanted all along, only he’d been too
blind and stupid and proud to see it.

By now the enemy was in full retreat, fleeing into the
arena at the prodding of Grandma’s lethal broom.
Molly stepped up to Lucky and fanned her face.
“Whew! Reckon Grandma’s got ‘em on the run now.”

He tweaked her nose, then straightened the neck
line of her dress. “I should whack you but good for getting into a fracas like that.”

“Oh, you hush up, Lucky Lamont,” she chided back.
“You might as well start accepting the notion that I
come from a long line of strong women.”

“Yeah. Think I may be getting there.”

Then, at the sound of a familiar female roar, Lucky
glanced downward and grimaced at the sight of
Grandma wielding her broom, mercilessly chasing
Trumble, Dulcie and Sheriff Hackett around the arena,
smacking their backsides at every turn, to the hilarity of the crowd. “Guess your grandma’s still a bit riled, eh?”

Eyes huge, Molly nodded. Then she pointed west
ward. “Oh, no. Look!”

Lucky frowned as the local sheriff and several armed
men converged on the combatants—and winced at
the sight of Grandma bashing the lawman’s butt with her broom.

“Uh-oh,” she muttered. “Guess we’d best go help
Grandma and the others face the consequences.”

“Yeah,” Lucky muttered grimly.

***

“I’ve a mind to put the lot of you in jail,” Sheriff Lum
mety barked. “Bustin’ up this show.” He glared at
Grandma. “And you, woman, breakin’ a broom over my
hiney.”

“My pleasure, Sheriff,” Grandma simpered back,
prompting gales of laughter from the spectators.

Ten minutes later, Lucky stood with Molly at the center of the arena, amid a large group of wrongdoers
the posse had rounded up, including all of the
Reklaw men, Ezra Trumble, the Hickses and Sheriff
Hackett. The alleged lawbreakers were guarded by several townsmen with rifles, and surrounded by the
enthralled attendees as well as the Wild West show
performers.

The sheriff stood at the center lecturing them all,
shaking a finger at Sheriff Hackett. “And I can’t believe
you contributed to this brawl, Hiram.”