Buttoned-Up Secretary, British Boss (14 page)

A
S THEY
took their seats in the plane at Carcassonne, Sabrina didn’t know whether she was glad or sorry to be leaving France.

She had to admit that Alexander had gone out of his way to see that she relaxed and enjoyed herself, showing her all around the area he loved so well. And she had enjoyed herself. He had been the perfect escort and companion—and, yes, the perfect lover, she thought. Their one romantic night together would stay in her memory for ever. But the thing which had made Sabrina feel dismal ever since that poignant time was that no words passed between them to reassure her, to tell her something. Physically, he had expressed his ardour—wasn’t that enough? For her, it was not enough and never would be. He hadn’t said, in the heat of their coupling,
I love you, Sabrina
—words she’d hoped he might say. But it had been a vain hope; she realized that. It was not Alexander McDonald’s way, and never would be.

She sighed briefly. The uncomfortable conclusion had to be that on that magical evening he had needed her—they had needed each other—and that need had been fulfilled. Totally. And that was that. Now, it was back to reality, work and the status quo.

Yet, even if their love-making had been a superficial
event for him, Sabrina didn’t regret a thing. How could she regret being made love to by someone like Alexander McDonald, who had proved himself passionate, thoughtful and tender? Glancing up at him now, as he was putting their in-flight bags in the locker, she wondered if he’d actually thought about it at all afterwards. There’d certainly been no indication that he had.

Sabrina decided to get a grip on herself, on reality. She would consign the whole experience to her precious box of memories and get on with her life. She’d had a wonderful holiday; she’d met the lovely LeFevre couple, and for the first time ever she was expecting to go home and not have to worry about her sister.

They were waiting at the carousel for their cases when Alexander’s mobile rang. He raised his eyes at Sabrina as he answered it; he’d left it switched off for most of the holiday, but now it was possible that his publisher might appreciate a word.

It wasn’t his publisher, it was Lydia.

‘Alex! Oh, thank God! I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.’

‘Sorry, I’ve been having a bit of a break, Lydia. What’s the matter?’ It was obvious that something was wrong.

‘It’s Angus. He had a heart attack on Thursday and he’s still in Intensive Care and…’

‘Where is he—where are you?’ Alexander demanded. Looking at him as he spoke, Sabrina could see the shock on his face.

For a few moments she heard Lydia’s near-hysterical voice at the other end.

‘OK, Lydia, I’ll be with you in—’ he paused to glance at his watch ‘—about an hour. We’ll come straight over.’
There was another pause. ‘Tell Dad…Tell Dad I’m on my way.’

He snapped the phone shut just as their cases appeared in front of them, and grabbing his and Sabrina’s in his strong grip, he looked down at her.

‘My father’s had a heart attack,’ he said briefly, and for the first time since she’d known him Sabrina saw a look of real fear, real concern, on the handsome features. ‘We need to get to the hospital—now,’ he added briefly.

Sabrina had to trot alongside him to keep up as they made for the exit, and as they reached the taxi rank she said, ‘I’ll find my own way home, Alexander.’

‘No, you won’t. I want you to come with me…please,’ he said bluntly. Sabrina thought, well, yes; maybe there was something she could do to help.

It took less than an hour to get to the hospital, then they quickly made their way up the flight of stairs to the private room which had been allocated to Angus. As they almost ran along the corridor, Sabrina felt her stomach lurch with dread. She hadn’t visited a hospital for a long time…

Almost immediately they were shown into the darkened room, and Lydia got up from her chair, her face a mixture of torment and despair. ‘Oh, Alexander, I’m so glad to see you…’ The words came tumbling out. ‘It’s been such a terrible shock—Bruno came to the hospital with me when it happened, of course, but he’s got a raging flu and they’ve instructed him to stay away.’ Clearly overwrought, she put her hand on the edge of the bed to steady herself for a second. ‘Naturally, I haven’t left Angus since he was brought in here, but…’

Alexander led his mother gently back to sit down. ‘Now, Lydia, start from the beginning,’ he said quietly.

Feeling slightly as if she was intruding on a personal family affair, Sabrina stood listening as Alexander’s mother told him what had happened.

For several moments he let Lydia tell him the details—how Angus had come back from one of his regular trips abroad, hadn’t felt very well after supper and had collapsed.

‘I thought I’d lost him then, Alexander,’ Lydia whispered. ‘I couldn’t pick him up from the floor and he looked so…so awful. He’s come round once or twice, but he doesn’t know me, Alexander. He doesn’t know me…’

Now the tears began to flow, and Sabrina frowned slightly as she watched the scene in front of her. From what Alexander had said, it was not a particularly loving marriage, yet his mother was clearly distraught at the thought she might lose her husband of so many years.

Alexander went silently over to the bed where his father lay, and for several long moments just looked down at the inert figure. Then he caught hold of Angus’s hand in both of his and started rubbing it gently.

‘Hello, Dad,’ he whispered. ‘It’s Alex…Can you hear me, Dad?’

Just then, a young nurse came in followed by the doctor, and for several minutes they had a subdued discussion with Alexander, while Lydia sat like a crumpled bundle of clothes in the corner, just staring into space. Gone was the extravagant make-up, the ostentatious clothes; she was dressed in a plain navy skirt and jacket, and she didn’t seem to have registered that it was Sabrina who’d come with Alexander. But then, she thought, she’d been invisible to Lydia that other time, and obviously still was.

The nurse and doctor left the room, and Alexander
beckoned to Sabrina to come over as he spoke to his mother.

‘They’re still waiting for more results before they can give us much idea of the prognosis,’ he said quietly. ‘But you must go home, Lydia, and get some rest. I’ll stay tonight, and for as long as I’m needed.’ He glanced across at Sabrina. ‘You remember my secretary Sabrina, don’t you, Lydia?’

Lydia turned listless eyes to Sabrina. ‘Yes—yes, I remember.’

‘Well, we’ll take over for now. I’ll get them to call a cab for you—and try not to worry too much. They tell me that all is not lost.’

Lydia got slowly to her feet, obviously thankful that someone was there to take over, her tears starting again. ‘I feel so wretched, Alexander…’ she began, and he interrupted.

‘Of course you do—you’re worn out. And you’ve had a shock. You must try and hold on, Lydia.’

‘No—no, I mean I’ve not been a good wife to Angus. I know I’m selfish and have always put myself first when I should have thought more of him—and of you two boys, too…’

Alexander held his mother away from him for a second, a look of puzzlement crossing his features. Was this Lydia talking?

‘I owe Angus so much—I owe him everything. He was the only one who understood me, understood everything about me,’ Lydia whispered.

‘What do you mean, Lydia?’ Alexander asked quietly.

Lydia let several moments pass before she went on. ‘He’s the only one who ever knew the truth about me…about my upbringing.’ She swallowed, but now for a moment her eyes were dry. ‘My parents—your
grandparents—didn’t die in a car crash as I’d always told you. They gave me up for adoption to a couple who never really wanted children after all. They liked the idea, but not the reality. And a few years later—I was about ten—they divorced. My adoptive mother had to bring me up alone. I learned all about life from her…Oh yes—how to make men notice me, to always put myself first, not to let family get in my way…To stand up for myself because no one else would do it for me.’

Still holding her, Alexander rested his chin on the top of his mother’s head as she spoke, unable to believe what he was hearing.

‘I was very young when I met Angus, and when he asked me to marry him I couldn’t believe my luck,’ Lydia went on calmly, as if she was giving a recitation. ‘He was everything I was told I should try and catch—a good-looking man with money. But he was so much more than that. He was kind and generous, and he always forgave my failings and promised he would never leave me. And I couldn’t bear life without him. We…we understand each other, you see. Although he’s away such a lot, he’s always there when I need him.’

Lydia stared into space for a moment, as if she was in another world. Then, in a monotone she said, ‘If Angus dies, I shall want to die too.’ Her eyes filled again. ‘I mean it. I couldn’t bear the thought of life without him.’

She took a tissue from her pocket and looked up at Alexander.

‘And the very best thing he ever did for me was to give me my two wonderful sons—sons I’ve been proud of all my life. Sons I’ve never been worthy of,’ she added sadly.

Later that night, as Sabrina lay down on the bed in the private room which Alexander had arranged for her to sleep in, she felt as if she was part of an unfolding television drama. It was so unreal, she thought, so unexpected. By now, she should be at home, unpacking her clothes and reliving her holiday. Instead of that, she’d not only become part of a crisis, she’d seen a different side to Alexander McDonald—a deeply caring side. His love for his sick father was touchingly transparent, and an emerging softness towards his mother was obvious.

After he had seen Lydia safely off in the taxi, he and Sabrina had gone down to the hospital café to have something to eat. Although Sabrina had felt rather embarrassed at being party to everything Lydia had spilled out, Alexander seemed only too anxious to talk about it.

‘Today, I think I met my mother for the first time,’ he’d said slowly as they drank their coffee. ‘She has never spoken of her past before.’ He’d paused. ‘I have learned one or two things…It shows that you can’t possibly know what makes people who or what they are,’ he’d added.

Now, Sabrina pulled the unfamiliar duvet around her shoulders. At least the fact that they’d come straight from the airport meant they had their clothes with them, and that she could clean her teeth and wear a nightdress in bed. Though whether she’d get a wink of sleep was another thing—especially as she would rather have stayed by Angus’s bed with Alexander and shared his anxiety. But he had been insistent that she should rest.

‘Goodness knows what I might need you for tomorrow,’ he’d said as he dropped a light kiss on her cheek. ‘Sleep well. I’ll wake you if there’s any change.’ He’d
hesitated, pulling her towards him. ‘And thank you for coming here with me, Sabrina.’

She’d gestured helplessly. ‘If only there was something I could do,’ she’d said.

‘But you’re doing it,’ he’d replied softly. ‘You’re here.’

For the next thirty-six hours it was touch and go with Angus.

When Lydia returned to the hospital on Monday morning, she found Sabrina sitting alone in the ward. As the older woman came in, Sabrina stood up quickly.

‘I—I’ve taken over for a couple of hours, Mrs McDonald,’ she explained. ‘Alexander is tired out, so I made him go and have a rest.’

Lydia smiled, still looking wan and distressed. ‘That is very kind of you, Sabrina,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’

Well, that was another surprise, Sabrina thought. She’d half-expected to be met with resentment that she, a comparative stranger, was here at all during this sensitive family time. Especially as she was only a secretary.

At that moment a nurse came in and, going over to the bed, she made a little exclamation.

‘Ah, Mr McDonald, you’re looking a bit better,’ she said gently. ‘Look—your wife is here to see you. How are you feeling?’

And amazingly, after a few seconds, Angus croaked, ‘I’m feeling…f-f-fine. Thank you.’

The next few moments passed in a blur as the doctor was called urgently. As Lydia stood cradling her husband’s head, Sabrina slipped away to fetch Alexander.

When she got to the private room, he was standing by the window, his hands in his pockets, and Sabrina went over and touched him gently.

‘You’re needed, Alexander,’ she said. ‘I think you should go now.’

He turned quickly. ‘My father hasn’t…? He’s not…?’ he said almost savagely, and Sabrina smiled.

‘No. He’s just told everyone that he’s feeling fine.’ She paused. ‘I’m sure you’d like to hear it too.’

After he’d gone, Sabrina began to finish packing the few things she’d taken from her case, ready to go home.

‘Obviously, you must stay at home until I get in touch with you, Sabrina,’ Alexander had said when she’d told him she was going. ‘I don’t know when I’ll be back at work—I’ll stay here for ever if necessary—but as soon as the situation becomes clearer I’ll ring you.’

As she collected her few things from the bathroom and zipped up her wash bag, Sabrina paused for a moment. She had never met Angus McDonald before—not in the proper sense—but she knew she liked him. And she really, really wanted him to get better. For Alexander’s sake—and, yes, for Lydia’s too.

One evening, ten days later, Sabrina arrived home to find Melly and Sam had also returned. Before they got their greetings underway, the doorbell rang. Immediately Sabrina got to her feet and went to answer it. Alexander stood there, holding a large parcel wrapped in brown paper.

‘Alexander!’ she exclaimed, not bothering to hide her pleasure in seeing him again. ‘What…? Why…? I mean, sorry—come in!’

Alexander grinned down at her and followed her into the house. ‘Oh, well, I was just passing,’ he said. They both knew he was not ‘just passing’. ‘And thought it was a good opportunity to drop this off.’

Sabrina didn’t know what he was talking about, but they went inside where Melly and Sam were having coffee. Sabrina said brightly, ‘You haven’t met my sister, have you, Alexander? Um, Melly, this is my…my boss, Alexander McDonald. I don’t think I ever actually mentioned his name.’