By the Book (12 page)

“Yes, you do.”

“Or why I’m so nervous. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t…” I gestured into the air with one trembling hand and brought it back to the other, wringing both of them. “We haven’t, you know…”

“Shall I tell you why you’re so jittery?”

Somehow I managed to meet his gaze again but summoned no further encouragement than that.

And Daniel the Dark Angel read me like a book.

“You’re wondering what the hell’s going on between us.”

“Well.” Nervously I laughed. “That
is
why I’m here. To sort out…I mean, talk about—”

“No, not the three of us. I mean the
two
of us. You and me. Reece Hutton and Daniel Cross.”

“I don’t get it.”

“I saw your hand shake just now.” Daniel reached out and covered both my hands, still wrapped around each other, with one of his own. And his touch did nothing to still my jangling nerves.

“Given what we’re discussing, that’s no surprise.”

“You’ve had threesomes before, right?”

“Right.”

“Of both flavors?”

“Yes. You know that.”

“So you can’t tell me you’re jittery because you’ve been sent here to talk about setting up another ménage.”

There was nothing more to be said. He had me there.

“Shall I
tell
you why you’re so jittery?” Daniel bit his lip, paused as if wondering whether or not he should go on. Then he jumped. “You’re wondering if I’m going to kiss you.”

“You what?”

“That wasn’t a denial.” He took another step closer. “Well? Am I right or wrong?”

“Just because I…” I couldn’t handle the mocking in his eyes. He knew more than I was willing to acknowledge. “This isn’t… I mean I can’t…”

“Can’t you?” Daniel’s brows quirked. “What can’t you?” he asked with a taunting lift of his chin.

Mute and rooted to the spot, I silently bade him continue. Silently bade him
stop. Please stop
. Oh, there were a thousand and one reasons why this was a bad idea, and I couldn’t remember any of them.

Daniel moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue, then reached up to my neck.

I shook my head without shaking it, moved it slowly from side to side, fighting to calm the maelstrom of thoughts and guilt and what-ifs in my mind. But each time I turned my head, even one degree, I moved under Daniel’s hand and the halfhearted attempt to say
no, I can’t
became a reminder of how much I wanted to say yes.

If Daniel’s hand hadn’t been on me, if he’d been standing only a foot farther back, if there had been more air between us, maybe I would have been able to breathe, but the slow back and forth of his thumb on my jaw hypnotized me into silent compliance.

“You know something,” he murmured, inching closer, ever closer until even daylight wouldn’t get between us. “I’ve been wondering what it would be like to kiss you for a while.”

Oh God, this isn’t why I came here, I—

“And you’ve been thinking of the same thing.”

Every time you speak, I forget myself.

“We should do something about it.” Daniel dipped his head, drew back, furrowed his brow, and I thought, surely he can’t be nervous; he’s Daniel Cross, but he wanted to make sure
I
was sure. Again he inclined his head, his thumb’s rhythmic back and forth slowing still further, and I couldn’t stop myself moistening my lips, whether in readiness for his kiss or simply because being close to Daniel made me nervous.

His hand on my waist made me jump, and the short path to its resting place on the curve of my hip blazed a trail of electricity. When I gasped, Daniel closed the distance between us by pulling me in closer, and in an instant I thought, no, he’ll be able to tell just how—

And despite the fact that we both wore jeans, he couldn’t hide how hard he was.

“I know you want this,” he whispered, so close his breath warmed my skin. “Just let me…”

I’ve never kissed a—Oh God
. My resistance, such as it was, melted away when his bottom lip dragged over mine. The gentleness of the kiss was incongruous with his stubble. Though soft rather than prickly, it was a constant reminder that I was kissing—or being kissed by—a man. But I didn’t care because that man was Daniel.

He rested his forehead against mine, breathing deeply but slowly, and his mouth curved into a smile. Still cradling my neck with one hand, his fingers flinched, making my skin tingle. “There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Nervous laughter burst out of me, and I shook my head slowly. “No. Definitely not.”

The slow slide of his cradling hand down my torso parted my lips against his. Both of his hands on both of my hips, and when his grip tightened, he pushed himself against me so forcefully I stumbled back. He did it again, and I realized it was deliberate. Seconds later my back hit the wall, forcing every last breath out of my lungs.

“There,” he said with a slow grin, made even more seductive by the playful arch of his brows, his tousled hair, the twinkle in his eyes. “Now you can’t get away.”

“Don’t you have work to do?”

“It can wait. At least until I’ve kissed you properly.” When his lips brushed over mine, nudging them,
breathing
them apart, there was nothing else in the world I wanted more than Daniel Cross’s hands on my hips, his hard cock pressing against me, the tip of his tongue teasing at the corner of my mouth. He stopped to take a breath. “Reece…”

I thought he was about to touch his forehead to mine again, but no, he nuzzled in to my neck, and every movement brushing that damn stubble against my skin reminded me whom I was touching. Whom I’d kissed.

“
Fuck
,” I blurted out.

“What? Is something wrong?”

“No, just the…that. My neck.”

“Ah, you like it?” His lips curved into a smile, and he murmured against my mouth, “Because I like kissing you.”

“Don’t.” But my voice was weak, little more than a whisper. I moaned into his kiss, surrendering to whatever it was I felt. His tongue against mine was alien and yet
right
. I kept saying to myself, over and over again, this is a man, you’re kissing a man, Jesus, Reece; you’re kissing a man, but the stubble against both my palms, his hard cock pressing against me replaced every other thought with one simple fact:

This is Daniel.

I broke off this kiss, but
Daniel
was breathless and panting, clearly as desperate for oxygen as I was.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” he said.

“Oh?”
Please don’t do it again, Daniel. Please don’t kiss me.

He rolled his eyes as if casting his mind back, lost in the memory of whenever. “Let’s see…first saw you in the library when I brought that pile of books back, asked about the Wi-Fi, so…”

“Yeah?”

“About half a second after that,” he said with a grin. “Shall I tell you what I love about your mouth?”

“No.” I gulped. Closed my eyes for a few seconds. Little more than an extended blink.

“This.” He traced the line of my top lip with one finger, and I didn’t dare even breathe in case he lifted his hand away. “I’ve never met a man with a Cupid’s bow like that. It’s perfect.” He paused, fingertip now hovering as close to my mouth as he could get it without making contact. His hand went to my neck again, fingertips moving over the curve behind my ear.

“Daniel, don’t.”

He pulled his hand away, stepped back, and though it was what my mouth said I wanted, I still felt that loss, that absence of Daniel.

“You don’t want me to kiss you?”

“I have a girlfriend.”

“That wasn’t what I asked.”

“I can’t. This isn’t why I came.”

“You’ve both fucked other people.”

“Yes, but not like…”

Daniel cocked his head, rested one hand on his hip. “Not like this?”

“No. Not like this.”

“It was only a kiss. I don’t think Georgia would mind.”

“Maybe not. Probably not.” Shaking my head, I stepped away from the wall, paced, rubbed my temples, tried to think straight. “This isn’t why I came. I’ve never kissed a man before.”

“Well for your first time, that wasn’t bad, and let’s face it, if the first man you kiss is Daniel Cross, you struck gold there.”

“Christ, you’re so arrogant.” But I was half laughing.

“And you’re so hard.”

I stopped, looked up, glared at him.

“What, you think I didn’t notice?” Daniel shrugged. “Reece, I know a hard-on when it’s pressed against me, and you sure weren’t thinking about any woman when you had your tongue down my throat.”

“Jesus. How can you…?”

“Look.” He stepped closer, and though I wanted to leave—and didn’t—I remained rooted to the spot. “Can I just say something? Be completely honest with you?”

Mute, I nodded. Once.

“I want you.” Daniel shrugged. “That’s it. I just…want you. Georgia wants another threesome, well fine. But to be naked in the same bed as you and not touch you?” He gave a brief half laugh. “Have you ever been this close”—Daniel pinched his forefinger and thumb together—“to someone you wanted, knowing they were somehow off-limits?” He shook his head. “I couldn’t do it. Not again. The first time? Well, fine. I didn’t know how difficult it would be. But I couldn’t do it again unless…unless…”

I knew what he meant. I knew
exactly
what he meant. “I’m not sure Georgia would go for that.” Maybe she would. I didn’t know.

“Interesting that
you
didn’t object to that.”

I took a deep breath. “What am I supposed to tell her?”

“Tell her we discussed it. Tell her I said no. Tell her I said yes, but with conditions.”

“
Fuck
.” I turned away, covered my face with both hands.

“Come on; would she really object?”

“To seeing her boyfriend getting fucked by another man?” I spun round to face him again, surprised at my tone of voice.

“Well.” He shrugged. “I wouldn’t go
that
far, but…” He grinned, showing his dimples. “I know you want to fuck
me
.”

“Look, I have to go.” I took one step toward the door, then faltered. “Just forget I ever came here tonight.”

“That’s impossible.”

Daniel followed as I finally gathered the presence of mind to head down the hall and grab my jacket. I didn’t want him to think I was walking out on
him
, merely trying to deal with my own confusion, but had no idea how to put it into words.

“She’s been with other men. I’ve been with other women. That’s it. That’s how it’s always been. We’ve never…” And I thought back to the threesome with Georgia and Sarah. Other times we’d played. And those times had been in the presence of the other person. Maybe Georgia would allow it if she was there. But if she didn’t want to see me and…?

“Reece?” Daniel laid a hand on my shoulder after I’d pulled my jacket on, and I jumped.

“Nothing. Never mind. I have to go.”

“Hmm. Well, maybe you do. But listen…”

I couldn’t wait to get out of there and didn’t want to leave. Nevertheless, I looked him in the eye one last time before I turned tail and fled.

“Whatever you decide to say to Georgia, however you decide to play it…”

“Yes?”

“You know where to find me.”

Chapter Eight

I arrived back home misted with perspiration and shrouded with confusion. I kept asking myself
what the hell just happened
over and over again but came up with nothing beyond
he kissed me. Daniel kissed me.

Overly simplistic, of course, but the truth. Still, it did nothing to tackle the subtext I knew was there. My confusion came from not knowing where it had originated, this attraction to another man, and a reluctance to nudge at the subject too hard. Like poking a sore tooth
just
enough to check that it still hurt, I edged around Daniel in my mind and tried to think of other things when the truth got to be more than I could bear.

Nervous energy made me shiver as I stepped back indoors and hung my jacket up. It certainly wasn’t cold except for the telltale ripple running up and down my spine. Guilt? Perhaps. It wasn’t like I’d done anything terrible. Just allowed myself to be kissed by another man.

I thought of Georgia. Considered the possibility I should have pushed Daniel away. But I hadn’t wanted to. I’d been curious, and once that curiosity had been sated, I’d wanted to carry on kissing—being kissed—by him.

“Shower. Have a shower, Hutton.” If I gave myself instructions, I’d be able to get through a simple evening routine without too much trouble. Shower, hot drink, brush teeth, sleep. In theory.

Within seconds the warm water—not too hot—had washed away the sheen of perspiration over my body but did nothing to cleanse my imagination of all sorts of images I shouldn’t have been picturing. Every time I thought of Daniel’s lower lip in the instant before he kissed me, I shuddered, told myself that wasn’t what Georgia had wanted. She’d wanted me to persuade Daniel, not seduce him.

“Oh God.” Above the sound of running water, my words echoed around the bathroom. Daniel would only get involved if I was…willing.

And I was. I was. I was.

How was I going to tell Georgia?
Should
I?

Of course I had to. She wasn’t stupid. She’d know something was up. She was bound to ask what Daniel had said, what his reaction had been.

He was willing. All too willing. But it was me he wanted, and I couldn’t stop myself wanting him.

“Fuck.” A profanity, but murmured rather than thrown out into the world, as if trying to keep my confusion to myself for just a little while longer. And I braced myself against the tiled wall, let the water run over my hair, down my back.

“First things first, Reece.
Georgia
.” I barely heard myself speak, but that was all right. I knew what I was thinking. Of Daniel mostly. And he refused to stand aside so I could plan what to say to Georgia.

I’d been naked in bed with other men before. Always with Georgia dividing us, but now? Things were different. For five minutes, an hour, an eternity, however long that kiss had lasted, there had been no one else between us. Not another woman or man or even a breath of air. And given how hard I’d been, it was real.