Bylines & Skylines (An Avery Shaw Mystery Book 9) (5 page)

To me, it sounded as if I was going to have to kick both of them in the junk and run like Batman and his steaming pile of emo issues were chasing me. “Let me out!”

“No!”

“Oh, crap,” Eliot muttered, his eyes shifting to the door of the restaurant. “It doesn’t matter now. It’s already too late.”

“What do you mean?” Jake asked, glancing over his shoulder. His expression darkened when he caught sight of Tad. My expression, on the other hand, reflected the joy of Christmas in summer. “I cannot believe our luck.”

“This really is my week,” I said, leaning back in the booth. “I need to find some raffle tickets and play some online contests. Does anyone know of any high-stakes poker tournaments in the area? I just can’t lose.”

“No, losing is what’s going to happen to the rest of us,” Jake said.

“Watch her,” Eliot said, blowing out a frustrated sigh. “Something tells me this is going to get ugly.”

Something told me he was right.

T
ad breezed through the door
, his head high and his shoulders squared. For a moment I thought he was coming to take me on. When his gaze landed on me, though, he did the world’s biggest double take. That’s when I realized he was up to something else.

“Good afternoon, tool.” The words were out of my mouth before I had a chance to decide if it was the best greeting I could muster. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t have been nicer to him, but given more time to think about how best to anger him I would’ve come up with a better insult.

“Ms. Shaw.” Tad’s tone positively dripped with disdain. “I’m surprised a fine establishment like this would allow the likes of you … and your friends … through the front door.”

Gus, the owner of the diner, rolled his eyes when Tad shifted his attention in his direction. “They’re paying customers and Avery makes me laugh. You just make me want to take a shower.”

“And not a good one,” I added. “He’s afraid you have crabs … or scabies … or herpes.”

“Shut up,” Tad snapped, earning a few curious stares from the diner patrons. Because it was lunchtime and the restaurant was close to the courthouse, the diner was packed. Tad seemed to realize he was making a spectacle of himself and shifted his demeanor to something more pleasing, although only marginally. “I’m just here to announce my candidacy for the open seat on the county board.”

“We know,” I said. “We heard.”

Tad stilled. “How did you hear that?”

“I have special powers,” I replied. “A little birdie told me you think you’re going to win the seat despite the fact that everyone in this county thinks you’re a crook.” I was making that up, but it never hurts to ensure your enemy is paranoid when you plot to take him down.

“That’s your fault,” Tad said. “You’re the one who printed lies about me in the newspaper. I should sue you.”

“You’ve tried that before,” I said. “Go ahead and do it again. I’m having a magical week. I’d like to meet you in court. I have a lot of things I’d like to put on the record, including the fact that you’re hung like an infant and have the staying power of a virgin touching himself for the first time.”

“Avery,” Gus chided, shaking his head. “You can’t talk like that in here.”

“You just said I was funny,” I pointed out, refusing to back down. “You can’t have it both ways.”

“Good point,” Gus said. “Go nuts. Just … don’t get gross.”

“I’ll do my best,” I said, saluting.

Eliot shook his head when I looked to him for approval. “I have no idea how you manage to charm people when you’re such a pain in the ass.”

“It’s a gift.”

“Yeah, it’s something,” Eliot muttered, leaning back in his seat and locking gazes with Tad. He was practically daring him to move closer to our booth. “Personally, I can’t believe you’re running for office again. Haven’t you had enough of looking like a fool?”

“I haven’t had nearly enough of it,” Tad shot back. “Er, wait. That came out wrong.”

“Oh, no,” Jake said. “I think it came out exactly right. You know you can’t possibly win, right? I know of at least twenty people running for that seat. None of them have your … um … personality problems.”

“Just unfortunate names,” I said.

“Let that go,” Jake warned, lifting a finger. “You’re the only one who noticed that.”

“For now.”

“You drive me crazy,” Jake said, pressing the heel of his hand to his forehead. “I really want to leave but now I can’t because someone needs to keep you boxed in.”

“Yes, don’t even think about leaving,” Eliot ordered. “If she gets out of that booth, I’m blaming you.”

“Why not blame her?” Jake challenged.

“She can’t help herself.”

“Oh, you really do get me,” I said, adopting a fake cooing voice.

“Sometimes I want to give you back after getting you,” Eliot said, although his smile told me he didn’t really mean it. “Eat your lunch and ignore the troll.”

“Yes, Avery, know your place,” Tad said, his tone irksome. “You should be seen and not heard. Well, actually, you shouldn’t be seen either. You’re a menace.”

“Don’t talk to her like that,” Eliot said.

“You just did!”

“I can talk to her like that,” Eliot said. “I’m not you. I wouldn’t push things too far, because at a certain point I’m going to give Jake the all clear and let her at you.”

“I’m not afraid of her,” Tad huffed.

“You should be,” Jake said. “She’s bested you … how many times now?”

“She’s never bested me.” Tad puffed out his chest. “She’s played underhanded and dirty tricks and lied about me. That’s not the same thing.”

“The sad thing is that you’re such a screw-up she doesn’t have to lie,” Jake said. “You do all of the damage to your own reputation and she merely capitalizes on it. It’s as if you want her to win.”

“Oh, there’s an interesting thought,” Eliot mused. “Maybe he still has feelings for her.”

“Oh, you’re right,” Jake intoned, catching on to the game. “I think he loves her. It’s like elementary school. When you see the girl you like you pull her hair to let her know she’s the one.”

“You’re making me uncomfortable,” I said.

“They’re making everyone uncomfortable,” Tad said. “I didn’t come here for this. I came here to let everyone know I’m going to bring order and diligence back to county government. And, as a show of my appreciation for the voters of Macomb County, I’m hosting a special ice cream social in the city park tomorrow night.”

“Oh, that’s so … retro,” I said.

“I want to bring good old-fashioned family values back to politics,” Tad said.

The fact that he could say it with a straight face was dumbfounding. “Isn’t your wife divorcing you because you’re such a tool?”

That pretty much did it. Tad took a step in my direction, mayhem evident on his face. Jake was on his feet swiftly, though, and he cut Tad off before he could cover much ground.

“Don’t even think about it,” Jake warned, keeping his voice low as he held up his hand. “If you move on her I’ll arrest you.”

“She’s purposely baiting me,” Tad spat.

“Well, stop making yourself such an easy target,” Jake said. “She wouldn’t do it if she couldn’t get away with it. That’s on you.”

“And what exactly is on her?” Tad challenged.

“Nothing,” I replied, digging into my lunch. “I’m the boss.”

Jake shook his head as Eliot smirked.

“This is going to be a really long week,” Jake said. “I can feel it.”

“I think we all can,” Eliot said, grinning. “Eat your lunch, Trouble. I have a surprise for you later tonight.”

“I told you to knock that off,” Jake snapped.

“Not that,” Eliot said. “I have access to the comic book convention before it opens. All of the displays are already set up. I figure that will make me her favorite person ever.”

“Oh, baby, you have no idea,” I said, my heart twisting with delight. “When do we leave?”

“As soon as you’re done with your work.”

“This really is the best week ever,” I said. “Comic book conventions, a new chance to take down Tad and I’m the boss. Nothing can stop me now.”

“I wouldn’t bet on that,” Tad threatened. “I’m still here.”

“Not for long,” I said. “I’m on a roll. Your time here is coming to a close. I can feel it.”

“
H
OLY
crap
!”

I raced toward the table with the
Star Wars
sign and reached to lift the tarp so I could see the merchandise stacked beneath, but Eliot stopped me with a hand on my arm.

“You can’t touch that stuff,” he ordered, shaking his head. “I’m responsible if anything goes missing.”

“I don’t want to steal anything,” I said, shooting him a dark look. “I only want to see what it is. I heard that each convention gets a unique item.”

“You can wait until you visit and see it then.”

“But … .”

“No.” Eliot shook his head and gripped my hand tighter. “I didn’t bring you here to tear things apart. I brought you here to … see you geek out.”

I sighed, resigned. “Fine.”

“Can’t you be happy just looking around?”

“I am totally happy,” I said, casting one more rueful glance at the table and then stepping away. The convention was being hosted at the local community college, and the athletic building was decked out in so much geek stuff I didn’t even know where to start. “Look at this place!”

It was almost eight o’clock so the lights were dim, but I could still see everything. Eliot was making a final systems check, but he kept one eye on me to make sure I didn’t lose my head while he ran through a number of security protocols on his laptop.

“Go ahead and look around,” Eliot said. “Just … please, don’t look under anything or take anything. This is a big deal for me. Eventually I’d like to do security work as my main focus. This is the biggest job I’ve gotten so far and the pay is phenomenal.”

“I wouldn’t ruin it for you,” I said, squeezing his hand before releasing it. “I hope you know that.”

“I do know that,” Eliot confirmed. “Well, at least I know you wouldn’t do it on purpose. Look around, though. There are a lot of big displays.”

“I know,” I said, grinning at the small area set up as the
Star Trek
Enterprise bridge. “It’s like stepping back into the sixties.” I sat in the captain’s chair and grinned. “Now I’m really the boss. Set phasers on stun.”

“If I blast you with a phaser I don’t think I’m going to stun you,” Eliot said, typing on his laptop. “I didn’t realize you were a
Star Trek
fan, too.”

“I like the movies mostly,” I replied. “I was a huge Worf fan on
The Next Generation
, though. I thought he was hot. He kind of reminds me of you.”

“I’m not sure how to feel about that.”

“You should feel good,” I said. “Worf was big, strong and sexy.”

“Well, then I’ll take it as a compliment.”

I pushed myself up from the chair and shuffled to a display two aisles over, running my hand over the prominently-displayed Chevy Impala and grinning. “This is from
Supernatural
.”

“I don’t know what that is.”

“It’s a television show with hot monster-hunting brothers.”

“Ah.” Eliot wasn’t nearly as interested in the geek memorabilia as me.

I wandered further down the aisle, grinning at the Wonder Woman display. “I think the new movie is going to suck, but I loved Wonder Woman when I was a kid.”

“I thought you fancied yourself as the Hulk?”

“I did, but I liked Wonder Woman, too. She had cool bracelets.”

“And she had the sexiest outfit,” Eliot said, closing his laptop and putting it in a bag before moving closer to me. “I’m done, so we can look around.”

“I thought we were already looking around?”

“Yes, but now you can go nuts … within reason,” Eliot said. “There’s actually something I want to show you in the other room.”

“You said I couldn’t go in the other room.”

“I only said that because I want to go in there with you,” Eliot explained. “I didn’t want you to see the big thing alone.”

“That sounded dirty.”

“I heard it as soon as I said it,” Eliot said, grabbing my hand. “Come on. I can promise you’re going to squeal like a … really horny girl … when you see it.”

“Is that a good thing?” I asked, letting him lead me as excitement coursed up my spine. Whatever he was about to show me must be big if he wanted to wait to see my reaction.

“From my perspective, it’s a very good thing,” Eliot said, pausing in the open doorway. The adjacent room was completely dark when he reached toward the nearby light switch panel. “Are you ready?”

“I’m not sure,” I admitted. “Are you going to show me something magical?”

“You have no idea,” Eliot said, pressing a quick kiss to my lips before flicking the switch. “I expect to be rewarded for this.”

My eyes widened as the room flooded with light and a gasp escaped my mouth as my heart thundered and caused blood to rush past my ears, almost drowning out all other sound as I took in the spectacular sight in front of me. The entire room – which was huge – was decked out as some sort of tree village. There were holes in the trees, signifying huts, and spears leaning against branches. I knew what it was right away.

“It’s the ewok village!”

Eliot chuckled, delighted. “It is, although they’re doing a couple different showcases in here throughout the week. I didn’t realize what it was when they were putting it up so I asked a guy. When he told me, I realized you needed to see it. It’s just for photographs. There won’t be a skit or anything to go with it, but I still knew you’d totally geek out.”

“Oh … my … .” I hurried forward, ducking my head inside of one of the huts and grinning when I saw the hammock hanging inside. “I can’t believe this.”

“Do you want your photo taken?”

“Do I?”

Eliot spent the next five minutes taking every conceivable photograph I could think of before putting his phone away. He seemed content to let me roam, and the display was so big I couldn’t possibly see everything. By the time I returned to his side I was breathless.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever seen,” I said, grabbing his arm. “Thank you!”

Eliot seemed surprised by the naked sentiment. “You’re welcome.”

“Do you know what I want to do?”

“Get naked in the hut and put the hammock to use?” Eliot looked hopeful.

“I was going to say steal one of the spears, but now that’s what I want to do,” I said, tilting my head to the side so I could take a good listen. “Are we really alone?”

Eliot smirked. “Yeah. Security personnel won’t show up until tomorrow morning.”

“Did you bring me here just to do something dirty in a fake tree village?”

Eliot shrugged. “I brought you here to see how excited you would get. The tree sex was just a bonus. They’re actually going to use this set on the last day and shift it around for the
Predator
display.”

“That’s even more exciting!”

“I thought nothing was more exciting that
Star Wars.
?” Eliot’s chocolate eyes twinkled.

“It’s exciting that it’s both,” I clarified. “Now … hurry up and strip.” I reached for the hem of my shirt so I could pull it over my head. “I think someone loves me this week.”