Cailín (Lass) (Anam Céile Chronicles) (10 page)

How
very odd she behaves . . .

Tugging
herself out of her apparent trance, Deirdre went on to say, “We will have to
sneak into my mother’s bureau and snatch one of hers.”

“We
cannot pilfer yer mother’s undergarments!” I protested in shock.

“Oh,
she shall never be the wiser!  And besides, so many pieces has she, it will only
be to her advantage to skim down the contents of her drawer!”

Her
mother then outdoors in the garden, Deirdre dashed away to her mother’s chamber,
while I remained there naked.  Precipitously, she came back into the room
holding three of her mother’s undergarments.  “Here,” she said, handing them to
me.  “See how these fit.” 

Fer a
long moment, I just stood there staring at the foreign objects in me hands. 
What on earth was I supposed to do with these complex devices?  So many lacings
and fastenings were there, I could not even begin to fathom how ‘twas to go on
me.   

Deirdre
just stood there, staring at me, waiting fer me to whisk the whole thing on in
one swift motion, I supposed.  Finally she grew tired of watching me gape at it
and threw her hands up in exasperation.  “Would you like me to help you with it?” 

Dumbfounded,
I simply nodded me head.

“Honestly,
Aislinn, have you not even a wee bit of sense when it comes to these matters?”
she queried with amusement, though with an obvious hint of mockery.

The
corset she took from me hands and moving to stand behind me, brought each side
under me arms and pulled it onto me breasts.  Saying nothing, Deirdre reached
inside and with her hand, lifted me breast to rest in an odd uplifted
placement.  Still engrossed in me surprise I be, when she promptly reached into
the other side to do the same thing. 

This
time, when I felt the heat from her hand against the skin of me breast, most
peculiar tingling sensations lighted all about me breast affecting me breath to
draw in and me eyes to flutter in response.

Instantly,
I prayed she would not take notice of me unplanned reaction.  Once she had
finished drawing tight the lacings, Deirdre murmured low, “I am sorry if I
stunned you.  You did not mind me touching you, did you, Aislinn?”  She walked
around to face me.

Realizing
I still held onto me breath, I exhaled, and said breathlessly, “Not sure I be,
Deirdre.  All I know is it did give me the strangest feeling …”  I squirmed
under her gaze.

“Oh,
well, I suppose I should take that as a compliment, then!” she pronounced
excitedly.  “Just wait until the first time you are fondled by a lad!  Now,
that
will have you feeling quite strange all over, indeed!” Deirdre described as though
she had experience with such matters. 

Then,
to me surprise, she threw in, “Moreover, it gave me a bit of a
feeling
too.  Your breasts did feel lovely in my hands.”  And then Deirdre looked at me
adoringly as she gave a kiss to me cheek.

Struck
absolutely speechless I be by these happenings!  I put them aside fer a moment
as I gazed upon the form of the young woman staring back at me from within the
mirror. 

It
simply does not seem possible that she truly be me, this seductive looking girl
with lustrous hair, her curvaceous figure clad in a cream coloured satin corset
serving to enhance her slim waist and heave her bosom into rounded mounds of
quavering flesh high upon her chest.  Still I do not feel as that girl, ‘tis
just too impossible to conceive.  Me, who would rather hide in a barn and run
through fields, climbing rocks with dreadfully untidy hair returning home
absolutely filthy, could not conceivably be this strikingly alluring woman
staring back at me!

Me
marveling at me own image in the mirror be interrupted by Deirdre’s pushing the
green dress at me.  “Indeed, Aislinn, you
are
quite becoming.  Now do put
on the dress so that we may see the final outcome of my makeover!”  Impatient she
be growing once again.

The
dress I took from her and gathered it up to put it over me head, though
scarcely could I move, stifled as I be by the corset.  Struggling to reach me
arms through it and pull it down over me, it suddenly occurred to me what she
had said a few moments earlier.  Still acclimating to the restrains of the
corset, rather breathlessly, I probed her, “Then, do tell me, Deirdre, what
knowledge have
you
of being fondled by a lad?” I looked at her
inquisitively.

Deirdre
showed a feebly simulated modest smile, as she feigned an attempt at concealing
her secrets.  I looked at her anxiously, making it obvious she did not fool me,
waiting fer her answer.  

She
threw her hands up and replied, “To be truthful … well, you know how dismal I
be when I dreamt of Fergus that night for the second?”  Deirdre looked at me
and I nodded so she would continue. 

“Well,
at the first I refused to accept that was to be me fate . . . you know, to be
promised to Fergus.”  Once more, she looked to me fer evidence of
understanding.  “And he went on pestering me as always he had, which only made
it more difficult to bear the thought of it all.” 

Deirdre’s
face showed a hint of shame as she went on, “So, I decided since I was doomed
to be stuck with someone as plain as Fergus, I was not about to let me charms and
beauty lay entirely to waste.  Thus, for a time I dabbled in receiving the
attentions of a few other older lads.”

She
looked at me fully expecting the shocked look which came over me face then, as
I processed her confession.  

I
hesitated in me speaking, first considering that which she had revealed.  “Are
you telling me, you . . . and these lads . . .”  Unable to bring meself to say
the words, I instead stressed the implication of them through the widening of
me eyes and the nodding of me head.        

Deirdre
quickly understood what ‘twas I be getting at and clasped hold of me hands.  “Oh,
heavens, Aislinn, certainly not! 
That
I did not with them!  Only that I
allowed them . . . liberties . . . with their hands, and their kisses . . .” she
paused a moment before adding, casting her eyes to the floor, “. . . Perhaps
too many liberties.”

“Oh . .
.” I slowly responded, undoubtedly with a bewildered look upon me face as I
struggled to comprehend that which she had told me.  “And what of now?”

A new
sort of smile changed her face as Deirdre spoke then.  “Well, at some point,
Fergus’ aggravations somehow became endearing, and I realised he is not so
dreadful after all and I began to see him differently.  He actually is quite a
bit more attractive and less awkward now,” she explained.  Looking to me, she appeared
relieved to see me willingness to hear more.

“Is he
now?” I declared, raising an eyebrow, yet truly anxious to hear more about it
all.  As this be the first time I had engaged in any sort of formal girl talk— now
that I had a vested interest in it fer once— quite intriguing to me ‘twas! 
“Awhile ‘tis been I have seen him then, I suppose.”

Talk of
Fergus’s appeal affected Deirdre to beam again.  I could see she truly be in
love!

 “So,
allowed Fergus those same liberties, have you then?” I assumed curiously.

“Surely
not!”  The expression upon Deirdre’s face instantly turned defensive.  “It must
be different with him, since he will be
the one
.  I cannot have him
thinking that of me.  Follow the proper protocol I must.  And he not be knowin’
a smidgen about those other lads, so you be mindin’ your mouth now, Aislinn,
agreed?” she warned me.

A bit
hurt I be that Deirdre thinks I’d go blabbing her secrets!  Though, I suppose
she has every right to be concerned, since she is fated to spend her life with
him as such.  Supposin’ I‘d be feeling the same.

O
ne
night awoken I be by an exceptionally vivid dream such as never before I had
encountered.

In the
dream, there be a beautiful young woman with dark hair whom, although resembled
me not in the slightest, I understood to be meself.  She waits in a manor house
overlooking manicured grounds from her window fer her lover.  Her handsome blonde
lover arrives and they run laughing hand in hand into the wood to be together. 
Nothing monumental occurs, only their doting upon each other.  Yet, most aware
I be of the extraordinary connection they share. 

And
then, there be nothing I be more acutely aware of than his scent; aware of it
through her, in this dream, as she breathes in the intoxicating sweet yet musky
aroma that emanates from her lover.  Still detect the scent in me nostrils I
could upon awakening, virtually savour it in me throat, feeling intoxicated by
the mere memory of it, so distinct be the imprint it left upon me mind.

At once
upon awaking, I recognised this to be a memory of a life past.  And I be
indubitably definite that her lover be me Donovan.  Never had I been more
certain of anything in this lifetime as I be then!  I trembled uncontrollably
in awe of this indescribable feeling that overtook me.  Even though I had just
awakened from a long nights slumber, nearly depleted I felt as a consequence of
its colossal impression upon me spirit.

When at
last me trembling had subsided, me mind was clearer than ever it had been
before.  Certain I be this meant our souls were entwined and destined we were
to meet in each lifetime and fulfill our life together.  Undoubtedly,
fundamentally changed I be with the knowledge I now possessed, significantly
altered to the core with this quest of me soul. 

I want
to feel you, the rush, the passion, the intensity of me soul coming to life. 

From
that day forth, I felt overtaken with restlessness, heightened in me intense longing
to lay eyes upon him once again.  Thoughts of him did always linger upon me
mind.  No longer did I attribute me feelings to some girlish infatuation or
question the validity of them and me choice to follow the path to his arms.

Over
the course of the next year, Donovan visited our farm many times.  It seemed to
me he did call on us to check-up on our animals more frequently than I recalled
the
tréidlia
doing before, but then perhaps me perception be due to the
acute awareness I held fer any sign of his presence. 

Still,
I dared to hope he had ulterior motives that brought him to our farm. 

Could
it conceivably be he seeks out further interactions with me?  Swear I detect him
watching me from the corner of his eye as he works at times.  Yet, nothing else
he does infers he has an interest fer me . . .  So confusing ‘tis!

Since
commonly I be out wandering the fields beyond our property, many times I be
most exasperated to only glimpse him departing as I skipped up our path. 

I knew unsuitable
it must be to love him as I did, yet powerless I be to dislodge that which had
possessed me soul so completely.  Besides, little care did I have fer such
thoughts.  I thrived upon that life changing passion, that love which had
awakened the deepest part of me soul, bringing me to life and urging me to
reach fer ever more.  It planted a fire in me heart and brought peace to me
mind.  

S
ince a
mere tot I be, me Mama had noticed the
ceangal
I have with animals and
especially with horses.  She remarked it be a connection on a much deeper level
that went beyond a simple affinity.  Me father, of course, thought it all
nonsense and careful she be not to include him in discussions regarding me
abilities, fer not wishing to give him another reason to proclaim me a child of
the
sidhe
.