“I was up the tree because of the bear.
Didn’t you see it?” I pointed to where the bear was still visible,
standing in the water upriver.
He looked and noted the bear on his pad.
“You have blood on your hands. You touch the
body?”
I looked down at my hands. I hadn’t realized
they were bleeding.
“I grabbed her shirt and her arm, but it’s
not her blood. I scraped my hands on the rocks running up the
river.”
“And you were running up the river why?”
I nodded to where the two officers were now
examining the body.
“I saw her fall from the bridge through my
camera,” I said. In my head I was thinking,
young lady? Who does
he think he’s kidding?
“I ran upstream to see if I could help
her, but she’d been shot in the head.”
“Probably dead before she hit the water.” He
scratched at the thinning hair on his head. “The question is, was
she dead before she left the bridge.”
“She was still bleeding when I pulled her to
shore.”
“Let’s back up here. Why don’t you tell me
exactly what you saw? Start with …”
“I know, what I had for breakfast.” I hadn’t
meant to cut him off, but it was out of my mouth before I could
control it.
“Not quite that far back. How about your name
and why you're up here today.”
“Bella Bree MacGowan. People call me Bree.
I’m here, well, in California, because my boyfriend is doing some
masonry work. He asked me to come, which is nice, except there
isn’t much for me to do. I’ve been taking photos of the area to
keep from going crazy. That’s what I was doing today.”
A cool breeze rippled down the canyon as
afternoon turned to evening. Shadows crept up the sides of the
canyon walls on the east side of the river. The air smelled clean,
sweet even, but I was still damp from being in the river. I
shivered.
“We came here a couple of weeks ago, and I
thought I’d come back and take some pictures. I was shooting birds
when a bright spot on the bridge caught my eye.”
“Wait,” Sheriff Fogel broke in. “You were
taking pictures? Where’s your camera now?”
“Down the river. You must have passed it; my
stuff is near the trail head.”
“Come with me. We’ll go retrieve it. Digital
or film?” he asked as we walked.
“Digital.”
He led me down the trail and stopped at the
flat spot where I’d left my stuff. I picked up my camera and
clicked it on. I set the LCD display to review and handed him the
camera. Fogel stepped into the shade so he could see the screen
better, and I stood behind him so I could see what he was looking
at. I’d taken the pictures, but I didn’t know just what I’d
captured. He flipped through photos until he got to the bridge
shots.
The images were too small and too far away
for me to be able to see any detail, but I had snapped the crucial
moment when she began her plummet from the bridge and several shots
of the fall. I didn’t even remember my finger being on the
button.
“Gather up your stuff. I want to get you out
of here.”
Sheriff Fogel walked me down to the road
before they brought the body down. He ejected my memory card and
put it in his pocket and handed me my camera. I stowed my pack and
camp chair in the rear seat and tried to keep the images of the
dead woman out of my mind.
Sheriff Fogel put his hand on my arm as I
went to get in the driver’s seat.
“Is there anyone at home?” His blue eyes
scanned my face. Looking for a lie?
“My boyfriend should be home soon.” I pulled
my phone out of my damp jeans pocket and flipped it open to see the
time. “Probably before I get there anyway.”
“It’ll be better for you if you aren’t alone.
Dead bodies have a way of preying on people’s minds.” He patted my
shoulder and I wondered if he had a daughter of his own.
I didn’t tell him this wasn’t my first body
and I knew the drill. If events followed the previous pattern, I
figured I’d start shaking half way home and have to pull over for a
while. Then I’d be fine.
Beau was sitting on the rustic porch swing
when I drove up. We were living in a log cabin in the woods up
Highway 49 north of Auburn. It had a covered porch across the front
with a porch swing and flower baskets hanging from the ceiling
beams. The other three sides of the cabin were surrounded by deck.
The logs had been treated so they wouldn’t weather with age, and it
was a beautiful light red wood. I liked the windows best. They
graced almost every vacant wall.
I climbed the steps and sat beside Beau on
the swing. He dropped his arm around my shoulder and tugged me to
him.
“Bad day?”
“Only if you count watching a woman fall a
thousand feet from a bridge. I pulled her out of the water, but she
had a bullet hole in her head. I couldn’t save her.”
“Oh, Babe. Come here.” He wrapped his arms
around me, and I leaned into him. His chest was like a warm and
yielding brick wall. He didn’t smell bad either. I leaned back and
looked up at him.
“You must have been home a while. You smell
like soap.”
“Jumped in the shower. Figured I might as a
well get cleaned up before you got home. He ran his hand across my
cheek. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. I thought I could help, you know.
I didn’t know she’d be shot.”
“That’s a big drop, water’s kind of shallow.
I doubt she could have survived it.” He slid his arm off my
shoulders and got up. “Come on. I’m making dinner.” He held his
hand out to me, and I let him lead me into the cabin.
Beau served me burgers at the burlwood table
next to a window overlooking the deck along the back of the house.
We could watch the wildlife while we ate, which normally made me
happy, but today the woods seemed oppressive and made me miss the
open fields of home.
“I did something exciting today,” Beau said
as he swallowed the last of his burger.
“What’s that? Did you complete that
spectacular fireplace you’ve been building?”
“Nope. Remember how I told you this cabin’s
up for sale?’
“Yeah.” Unease started to gnaw at my belly.
Please don’t tell me that you bought it.
“I bought it.”
“You bought it. To live in all the time?” My
voice was low and flat. Somewhere in my head I knew I should be
trying to drum up some enthusiasm, but it took a while for my
internal sensor to kick in.
“Yeah, to live in all the time. There’s
plenty of work out here. I love the weather. No relatives, although
I will miss Tom’s kids. But they can come visit me here.” He looked
at me, and I knew dismay was registering on my face. “What? I’m
asking you to live here with me, Bree. Stay and enjoy being a
Californian.”
“Beau, I don’t want to be a Californian. I
don’t think you could get the Vermont out of me.”
“I thought you’d be thrilled to get away.
Think about it, Bree. Here you get a fresh start. No one knew you
in kindergarten or saw you skinny-dipping in the river. It’s all
new.”
“I like that everyone knows me. I like the
people in our town.”
“What about how they treated you when Vera
was murdered? All those dirty looks and whispers behind your back.
You want to go back to that?”
“Almost everyone apologized.” I looked down
at the food left on the plate. The burger had lost its appeal, and
the fries were cold. I dipped my fork in the pool of dressing I had
on my plate and stabbed a few lettuce leaves. I looked at my laden
fork for a moment and set it back down. My appetite had
disappeared.
“Beau, I love that you brought me to
California, but we’ve already been here two weeks longer than you
said we would be. I’m writing articles and interviewing people long
distance. Somehow it doesn’t seem fair to Meg that I took on the
job of staff reporter and then skipped town. And I’m missing my
animals a lot. I want to go home.”
“Why am I so surprised by this? You’ve always
been a homebody. I guess somehow I thought that my being here would
be enough to get you to stay. Shit.”
I got up from the table and walked out onto
the deck. The sun was dropping over the mountains, and the air felt
cool on my skin. Somehow I'd had the impression California was warm
all the time. Maybe San Diego was warm all the time, but the Sierra
Foothills were cold in November.
I walked to the railing and looked into the
woods surrounding the clearing we called our yard. Birds and small
animals were hanging out in the trees. Sometimes at this time of
day deer would wander across the clearing and munch on the
flowers.
I liked Beau. A lot. Enough to leave my whole
life behind? Probably not. It was so dang unlikely that we’d
actually last. I didn’t have the best track record with
relationships. Things inevitably went wrong. I didn’t want to be
three thousand miles away from home when that happened.
I heard the sliding door open, and Beau came
to stand beside me at the rail.
“I should have asked you first, shouldn’t I?”
He slid his arm across my shoulder and pulled me to him.
“I don’t know. Probably wouldn’t have made
any difference. You would have bought the cabin anyway, and I would
have eventually gone home. The outcome’s the same.” I rested my
head on his shoulder. “So. What are you going to do with your house
in South Royalton?”
“I’ll keep it. I’ll have my own space when I
go back to visit. I’ll get old Jamison to keep an eye on it for
me.” Beau paused for a moment. “What if we shipped Lucky and the
dogs out here?”
“I don’t know. Let me think about it.” I knew
in my heart the answer was no but didn’t want to disappoint him.
“I’m not sure I’m the California type.”
“Bree, there isn’t a mold that would hold
you.” One bark of laughter escaped him. “You are completely unique.
I’m pretty sure you could adapt to any place you wanted to.”
I smiled at him, thinking he’d put me in a
difficult position. If I didn’t stay, it meant I didn’t want to
try. At least to him.
“Stop looking so gloomy.” He took my right
hand in both of his, turned it palm up and examined the abrasions.
“It’s not as bad as all that. I bet I can make you forget all about
today.”
“I bet you can.” I smiled up at him. Then a
memory struck. “Do you know that the last guy who said that to me
broke up with me just a few days later?”
“That dickhead, Jim?” Beau laughed. “You were
better off without him. Come on. I bet I can make you forget better
than he could.”
“I bet you can.”
He bent and kissed me. My fingers curled into
his shirt as he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me to
him. He broke off the kiss, and I took a quick step back to keep
from falling over. He took my hand and led me toward the house.
“Come on, Sweet Cakes, I got something to
show you.”
I laughed.
“Something new? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it
all before.” I grinned up at him as he slid the sliding door
closed.
He slid his hand under my chin and kissed me
lightly.
“You know I can’t resist a challenge.”
“I know.” I broke free and ran down the hall,
hearing his footfalls behind me. He caught me in a heartbeat, and
all thoughts of the day were forgotten.
The next day I had an email from Sheriff
Fogel:
Ms. MacGowan, it may be quite a while before we are able
to return your photo disk, but I thought you would appreciate
having the pictures that were on it. I’m not able to send the
photos that are pertinent to our case, but the others are
attached.
I scrolled through the photos and noticed
he’d made a mistake. There were two photos of the bridge before the
woman fell. She was visible as a bright pink spot. I squinted. A
bright pink spot flanked by a couple of dark figures.
I should
enlarge these. Are you out of your mind? The less you know, the
better.
I shut down my laptop and stashed it under
the bed. I felt kind of silly, but those pictures bothered me. I
could have deleted them, but nothing is ever truly deleted. At
least that’s what I’m told. I’m only tech savvy enough to be
dangerous.
Beau had one of his crew
take him to work in the morning so I could have the car. I drove
into town to pick up chips and beer. The road into Auburn was
beautiful, and the weather was perfect for driving, so instead of
stopping at the store I kept going down Highway 49 past the
grocery, merged west on I-80, and headed toward Sacramento. Past
Auburn the valley flattens and the highway widens as the farmland
gives way to residential subdivisions, industrial buildings and
shopping centers. The closer I got to Sacramento, the more
congested the freeway became.
Cities are not my favorite
places. I’m used to open space and sparse population, but there was
something I wanted to do. I took the off-ramp at Madison Boulevard,
pulled into a shopping center, parked and made for the pet store.
It was one of those cavernous box stores with rows and rows of pet
supplies stacked to the ceiling. It was bright and antiseptic,
except at the front where an area had been created with low
ceilings and soft couches facing rows of glass fronted cages
showcasing puppies. I sat on a red overstuffed sofa, asked the
attendant to bring me a puppy and soaked in the affection.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have anything
against men, but if you’re looking for total devotion and
unconditional love, go for a dog every time. Your dog will never
ask you to move three thousand miles from home. In fact, your dog
will follow you anywhere and be quite happy. They may resent you
for leaving them in a kennel for a week, but they’ll get over even
that in a day or two. Guys are not quite so forgiving.
I spent an hour playing with puppies. They
crawled on me, licked my face, attacked my fingers and slept in my
lap. When the attendant finally whisked the last one away I felt
much better. I still missed my dogs, but my heart felt lighter. I
left the pet shop and zipped down the mall to the Safeway grocery
store.