Call Home the Heart (27 page)

"We couldn't even begin to feed them all with the way things are at
the moment!"

 

 

She lifted her chin.  "I'll find a way, even if I have to beg,
borrow or steal."

 

 

Lochlainn rounded on her angrily. "Why should you care? You could
just go home to Scotland tomorrow!"

 

 

Muireann blinked in surprise. "That's not fair, Lochlainn, and you
know it. I could run away, of course, but I'm not going to.
Barnakilla is the first real home I have ever had, and all should be
welcome here if they wish to come.

 

 

"This estate will thrive. It just takes time. I'll throw myself on
my family's mercy if I have to, but I do have a few other options
before I  fall back on my last resort."

 

 

"So what are you thinking of doing if not that?"

 

 

"I'll go to Dublin, get the house sold, and we will just have to
keep on making sacrifices until we get the money back that those men
stole from Barnakilla, from us all.  Then we'll thrive even
more, I'm certain of it."

 

 

"It could take ages—"

 

 

"Please be patient, Lochlainn. It's not an easy decision, but you
just said it yourself. To put them on a ship to Canada would be like
signing the death warrants of almost all except the most fortunate
few."

 

 

"But how will we ever feed them all?"

 

 

"Hunting, for starters. They might not want them as tenants, and
they are turning over the fields to sheep rather than crops, so the
deer and pheasant will thrive on the land even more."

 

 

"Muireann, that's poaching!"

 

 

She shook her head. "It's more like using Nature's bounty instead of
letting it go to waste, and getting a bit confused as to which part
of the woods we're in. If we lure them onto our land also, so they
thrive here, well…." She shrugged.

 

 

"I get the picture. You're right, of course. We just have to keep
making the most of the woods and the lough."

 

 

"And we can do the same as we did with our tenants here.  As
soon as they arrive, we'll calculate the wealth they bring with
them. Then we can set a fair rent for them and chores to do. I still
have a tiny bit of the money Colonel Lowry awarded us from
Blessington's holdings. We can buy some oats, vegetables, potatoes,
and corn meal with it. We'll have to cut down on the butter to
increase our milk yield. If there are as many children as you say,
we'll need the extra.

 

 

"We also need more turf, more firewood, more meat and fish. I know
Neil will send more food from Scotland as soon as the timber ship
comes for another load. We can sell any luxury items like coffee,
tea or wine and brandy immediately to buy staples. We'll have to
think ahead to harvest time now as well.

 

 

"Forget the crop rotation scheme we devised. I want you to start
plowing up all the fallow fields and planting more turnips and
beets. They will get the animals and people through the winter.
Clear the land of tree stumps where we've already been
timber-cutting, and put it under cultivation also," Muireann
outlined for Lochlainn.

 

 

He sat there numbly shaking his head. This was yet another burden
for them to face. How much longer could they survive like this? How
much longer would it be until she gave up and went back to Scotland?

 

 

Muireann made a few notes on her paper, and looked at him hopefully.
"Now if Colonel Lowry and Mr. Cole have really made up their minds
about enclosing their lands, I'm going to go see them both to make a
deal to sell their wool to me. You and your carpenters can make some
spinning wheels and looms, and we are going to make cloth, lots of
woolen cloth.

 

 

"All of the women will pitch in, while the men will carry on with
the farming, hunting, fishing, and carpentry. We'll also need to
quarry more stone for new cottages to be built straightaway. Once
the new people arrive, they can rotate into the chores system."

 

 

"What else do you think we need?" he asked quietly, feeling slightly
piqued that she seemed to have worked out everything without even
consulting him or listening to his objections to the whole scheme.

 

 

Muireann continued jotting down her ideas, one hand cradling her
head. "I want to clear more trees now so we can season the timber.
We can use it for furniture, or a new load of wood if Neil is
willing to buy more. And I want some strong sturdy rabbit and
pheasant pens built. We'll start breeding them ourselves from now
on. And if you see a big stag, try to trap rather than kill it, and
capture some does as well. We could begin to breed them."

 

 

Then she sighed. "There are probably a hundred other things we'll
have to take care of once they're here. But in the meantime, that's
enough for everyone to be getting started with. The only other thing
is to get more fertilizer from somewhere. And I think perhaps it is
possible to start working around the clock on the estate. You know,
divide the workers into three or four groups, get them to work eight
or six hours each. But we will have to wait and see what skills and
talents they possess before we make any decisions about that."

 

 

Lochlainn stared at Muireann as though seeing her for the first
time.

 

 

"What is it? What have I said?" Muireann said sharply.

 

 

"Nothing, nothing. I just can't believe you would do all this for
people you don't even know."

 

 

"The wealth of Ireland is in her people, in the land. I won't let
those men, women, and children be made homeless due to the appalling
greed of their landlords and the government, any more than I would
have let you all suffer for Augustine's mistakes."

 

 

 This was first time in a long time that she had mentioned
Augustine's name in Lochlainn's hearing. She stood up suddenly and
began to pace the room.

 

 

Lochlainn watched her uncomfortably for a few minutes, wondering why
she was so disturbed.

 

 

Suddenly she ordered, "I want a detail of people to come in here now
to make these rooms habitable. Get the carpenters to make as many
bedsteads as they can. We can get some oyster shells to burn to make
whitewash for the rooms to help keep the damp out. The weather has
fine, so I want to make sure all the holes in the roof are patched,
and the chimneys cleared. Hire a proper sweep from Enniskillen
tomorrow so he can get started.

 

 

"I also want the library and the study cleaned, and I shall give up
my room upstairs as well. And we will need more long benches and
tables for the kitchen. We'll have to work day and night, but we can
take the first of the new arrivals at the end of the week."

 

 

 "I don't understand. What are you talking about? Why give up
your room? Where would you go?"

 

 

 "If they come here we're all casting our lot in together, are
we not? So they will come live here, in every spare room we can
find. I'll move into the small storeroom next to the agent's office
at the back of the stable block. We shall leave the big house to the
newcomers until we can get enough cottages built to house everyone."

 

 

"But think of the sacrifice, my dear," he cautioned.

 

 

She waved his objection away. "I don't care. They need somewhere to
stay, and we could fit a whole family in each of the rooms I use by
myself."

 

 

"This is meant to be your home. I will not have you living like a
pauper!"

 

 

"It's my decision, Lochlainn," Muireann snapped back. "You aren't
making me do anything I don't want to do."

 

 

Lochlainn rose from his chair then and pulled her to him. His
blistering kiss sapped their fury instantly, and within seconds they
had tumbled onto the small sofa and begun stripping their lower
clothing off in a frenzy of desire.

 

 

For half an hour the only sounds that could be heard were their
moans and sighs of contentment. But all too soon Lochlainn recalled
his resolution not to take advantage of her in this way, not to
impinge upon her daytime self.

 

 

He hastily adjusted his clothing, embarrassed, and with a last kiss,
fled from the room. Lochlainn prayed Muireann hadn't noticed his
hands shaking as he reached for the catch to let himself out.

 

 

She pulled her skirts down over her knees and sat on the sofa
staring after him as he ran from the room. Well, what could she
expect. He had no doubt been horrified by her wanton nature…

 

 

But damn it all, if loving him was so wrong, why did it all feel so
incredibly right, as if it were meant to be?

 

 

CHAPTER NINETEEN

 

 

 

Lochlainn's sister noticed something was amiss almost as soon as he
got back to his small cottage. After he had revealed his momentous
news about the evictions and Muireann's offer to support the other
estates' tenants all and make arrangements to have them live in the
house, she shook her head and asked, "What's really troubling you,
Lochlainn?"

 

 

He sat down at the kitchen table and put his head in both hands.
"I'm afraid that this is all a dream. That Muireann is too good to
be true. After all, she married Augustine didn't she? What if all
this is just a passing fancy for an idle rich girl? What if she
grows bored with it? Abandons us for the dazzling society of Dublin,
London, or beyond?" Lochlainn wondered, his frustration evident on
his handsome face.

 

 

Ciara digested this information in silence, and then looked at her
brother directly. "That isn't what's really worrying you either."

 

 

"All right, all right, I'll tell you. I'll go mad if I don't tell
someone. I just can't get the thought out of my head that I'm going
to lose her. I'm obsessed by her. No matter what, I can't get
Muireann out of my mind. Every moment of the day and night, sleeping
or waking, I think about her. I can't help myself, Ciara, though God
knows I've tried."

 

 

His sister looked at him stonily for a few moments, but then began
to relent, moving closer to him to hear him out.

 

 

 "But it would never work! It is ridiculous to ever imagine she
could be happy here living in a hovel. I worship the ground she
walks on, but it's completely absurd to imagine she could ever care
about someone like me."

 

 

"We don't really have any control over whom we fall in love with,
now do we?" Ciara observed bitterly.

 

 

"Love? Who said anything about love? I was in love once, remember,
and she betrayed me," Lochlainn growled.

 

 

Ciara sighed, and sat down beside her brother on the bench. "First
of all, Lochlainn, the only person Tara ever loved was herself. I
never did understand what you saw in her. She set her sights on you
one day, and you never even knew what happened until she was gone.

 

 

"It was all an illusion, Brother. She liked power, but she never
loved you, trusted you, gave of herself. You say you loved her, but
I think she held you in thrall with her feminine wiles. I think
you're in love with Muireann, deeply in love, but you're afraid of
being betrayed by her because of the terrible experience you had
with Tara.

 

 

"But don't assume all women are the same. Compare the two of them,
and ask yourself if there are any similarities, any warning signs
that would cause you to fear," Ciara advised. "If you have no reason
to mistrust Muireann, then just accept what you have together and be
thankful for it, without trying to analyze it all the time. Enjoy it
while it lasts, without being fearful all the time that it's going
to come to an end. Besides, how do you know she couldn't care about
you, unless you asked her?"

 

 

"Don't be silly. I couldn't talk to her about something like this!
At any rate, I know how Muireann feels. I saw her hysterically
weeping over Augustine when he died. She loved him, though God knows
why. She's grateful to me for my help and support. But love? It's
impossible."

 

 

Ciara shook her head. "All right, I'm not going to argue with you
about words. I just want to ask you one question. Imagine yourself
in five years time, or ten. Where would you like to be, and what
would you like to be doing? If you can see Muireann being at your
side as part of it, then you belong together, and you do love her.

 

 

"If not then, you're better off letting her go on without you. If
you don't really care about her, don't trifle with her feelings and
lead her on. Just stay away from her."

 

 

Lochlainn propped his chin up on both stacked fists. "I do care. I
care too much. I can't bear to have her lose her house because of my
ideas. I convinced her to come here in the first place. Things have
gone from bad to worse ever since. If we can't keep our heads above
water, we'll lose everything, and all of Muireann's hard work and
sacrifice will have been for nothing."

 

 

Lochlainn outlined for his sister the plans Muireann had for the
house, making his disapproval of her scheme all too clear.

 

 

"Please, Lochlainn, be practical for a moment, won't you? Even if
everyone here at Barnakilla were willing to double or triple up in
their cottages, how would all the new tenants fit in? So where else
is she supposed to put them except the big house?"

 

 

Lochlainn scowled silently, but finally he shrugged. "I suppose it
is only bricks and mortar. We'll build cottages, and give all these
people new homes."