Call the Shots (12 page)

“Uh, hello,” I say weakly. Excellent start, Sean. “Before everybody leaves I just . . . I wanted to let you all know . . .” That I’m in love with Princess Leyna. That we’re destined to travel the universe together. That you are all witness to the start of a beautiful romance. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Then it hits me: I know exactly what to say. This is actually kind of perfect. My whole body relaxes. “My friends and I are making a low-budget horror movie to enter in a film festival. We’re casting this Saturday at my house. If anyone’s interested in trying out . . .” I grab my notebook, tear out a sheet of paper, and place it on the edge of the stage. “Just write down your e-mail and I’ll get you all the info.”

You’d think I was giving away free batarangs at Comic-Con the way the crowd of students mobs the sign-up sheet. I look to see if Leyna is among them, but it’s impossible to spot her in the horde.

“A film festival?” I feel a hand grab my arm.

I turn around to see Mr. Nestman knitting his brow. “Oh. I’m sorry . . .” I point over my shoulder. “I should have . . . asked you if I could make that announcement in class.”

“Well, it’s not a school project, is it?”

“No . . .” I take a step back. “I guess, I just figured —”

“But we can make it one, yes?” He grins. “I mean, if you’d like. I don’t want to step on any toes here, but I can certainly whip these kids into shape for you. Use our class periods to rehearse. Lord knows I’ve been doing the same goddamn curriculum for the last twenty years. I could use a change. What do you think? I like it. Do you like it? We can utilize school time
and
school funds to shoot this movie of ours.”

It all sounds so great — unbelievably great, really — that it takes me a second to process that last word. “Wait.
Our
movie?”

“Listen, I’m an artist first and foremost, Sean.” He places a hand on my shoulder. “I may have missed my time. Shot my load, so to speak. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to help foster my students’ artistic endeavors.
That’s
my dream now.” He glances at his watch. “Look, I’ve got a staff meeting to get to.” He takes a business card from his wallet and hands it to me. “E-mail me your script, and we’ll talk more next week. This is going to be great. It’ll be fun to have a concrete project to work on in class.”

Before I can protest, Mr. Nestman disappears out the door.

I turn back to grab my stuff and see Leyna standing there, looking at me. Everyone else is gone. This should seem like a gift from the gamer gods, but after what just happened with Mr. Nestman, I can’t help feeling a little uneasy.

“That’s cool that Mr. Nestman’s willing to help you out,” she says. “He was really great directing me in
The Miracle Worker
last year. Did you see it?”

“Did I see
The Miracle Worker
?” I say, trying to buy some time here. “Of course I saw
The Miracle Worker
!” I exclaim, and am rewarded by a megawatt Leyna smile. “Yeah, wow. You were awesome in it. Really, truly brilliant.” I realize I’m laying it on pretty thick, but I can’t seem to stop myself. “Wow,” I repeat dumbly.

“Thanks.” Leyna’s still beaming. Phew. “I’m thinking of going to acting school after I graduate.”

“Really? Sweet. Me too,” I blurt. Half a second later, I realize what I just said. Acting school? Really, Sean?

“Cool!” Leyna says. “Are you going to be acting in your movie, then?”

“Oh. I don’t know,” I splutter. “I mean, I’m writing the screenplay, so I have to focus on that right now. But maybe. I might do a scene or two.”

At least that
could
be true. But what I really want to know is will
Leyna
be acting in my movie? Did she add her name to the sign-up sheet? I want to ask but the words won’t come.

“I think you definitely should,” Leyna says encouragingly. The sweetest smile I’ve ever seen in my life tugs at the right corner of her mouth. “I’ve watched you during improv. You’re really good.”

Leyna’s been watching
me
? My cheeks flush and my palms start to sweat. “No way,” I croak. “Nowhere near as good as you.”

“We just have different acting styles,” Leyna says. “You have this intense emotional thing going on. Even when you’re not acting. Like there are all these feelings and thoughts going on behind your eyes.”

Oh, Christmas, is it that obvious?

“Thanks,” I say, trying to harness my intense emotional thing into something resembling confidence. Because it’s now or never, Hance. “So, does that mean you’ll be coming to the audition?”

My heart jackhammers in my chest, so loud that I’m afraid I’ll miss her response when it finally comes.

“Are you kidding?” She reaches out and gives my arm a gentle squeeze, sending an excited current right through my body. Then, loud and clear: “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Oh, my God, I can’t believe this is happening. Leyna thinks I’m intense. And she’s coming to the audition. And she just gave me the I’m-into-you arm squeeze.

The signs couldn’t be more clear.

And I now know exactly what I have to do.

“Y
OU GUYS ARE GIRLS, RIGHT?”
I look over at Valerie and Helen as the five of us walk through the back parking lot of the school.

“Uh, yeah.” Valerie laughs. “Last time I checked.”

Coop smirks. “And when was that? Can you describe the whole ‘checking’ proc —”

Matt punches him in the shoulder to shut him up.

“What?” Coop exclaims. “I’m just curious.”

“Anyway,”
I interject. “I need some girl advice. What’s the nicest way I can break up with Evelyn?”

Coop makes a face. “You can’t break up with her. She’s getting us a camera. That’s key, dawg. It frees up our entire budget for everything else.”

I shake my head. “She’s not getting us a camera. Where the heck would she get a professional video camera from? She’s just saying that because she’s a whackadoodle.”

“Evelyn?” Helen’s tone is pure disbelief. “She’s one of the sweetest girls I’ve ever met.”

“That’s what she
wants
you to think,” I say. “She had me fooled too. At first. Actually, no, that’s not true. At first I thought she was mental. And then, all of sudden, she wasn’t. But now she is again. Probably tomorrow she’ll be fine. Who can tell? All I know is that she turns the crazy on and off like a faucet.” Plus, if Leyna finds out I’m seeing someone, my chances with her are shot.

Matt arches an eyebrow. “Sounds like
someone’s
a bit nutty.”

“You don’t understand. It’s like I was telling you on Monday. Evelyn’s got this switch in her head. A
loony
switch. And you never know when it’s going to get thrown.”

“Okay, so what did she do that was so insane?” Valerie asks.

“She grabbed my wrists. Hard. And she glared at me. And then . . . I don’t know . . . She was basically pissed off that she had to find out about the movie from Helen instead of me.”

“And?”
Helen asks as we reach the bike racks.

“Look, it’s not
what
she said. It’s
how
she said it.” I turn toward Valerie and Helen. “It’s sort of like she was fighting off a demon possession or something. Her face changed color, and she was all twitchy, and then she started making this weird guttural sound.”

Matt laughs. “That sounds like maybe she’s a werewolf.”

“More like a Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde,” I counter.

“Listen,” Helen says. “Just because a girl gets upset with you doesn’t make her crazy.”

“We’re just more emotional than you guys,” Valerie adds. “If you’re going to be in a relationship, that’s something you’re going to have to understand.”

“Yeah, I get that but . . .” I sigh as I reach down and tug the yellow coil lock from my front wheel. “This wasn’t how a normal person gets upset. It was like . . . like she was thinking of doing a lot worse and was just barely able to stop herself from doing it. It was scary.”

Helen shrugs. “I’ve felt like that lots of times. You should be thankful she can keep her emotions in check. There are lots of people who don’t have that much self-control.” She eyes Coop meaningfully, but he just gives her his smarmy Cooper grin.

“All we’re saying,” Valerie explains, “is don’t do anything rash. Just give it a bit more time. You’re her first boyfriend, Sean. She’s figuring things out as she goes along.”

“I don’t know,” I say doubtfully. “I’m going over to her house tomorrow, so I guess I’ll just see how things go then.” I’m wrapping the coil lock around my seat post when I get a thought. “But, okay, let’s say she starts acting all unstable again and I
do
want to end things. I’m not saying I’m going to”— I rush to add this as both Helen and Val open their mouths to rebuke me —“but what would be the best way to break up with her without having her go ballistic and want to kill me?”

Helen laughs. “There is no best way.
Any
way is going to upset her.”

“Yeah.” I feel my ears get hot. “Okay, forget it. I’ll figure something out.”

“All right, look.” Valerie places her hand on my back. “If you actually
do
decide you’re going to break up with her, you have to do it right. Gentlemanly and gently.” Valerie motions to the curb. “Come on. Let’s sit down and we’ll go over the dos and don’ts.”

Matt and Coop exchange a look.

“Uh,” Matt says, smiling with only half his face. “Should we be concerned that you both seem to be so knowledgeable about breakups?”

“Girls just know girls, sweetie,” Valerie responds. “Nothing to fret over.”

The five of us take a seat, Helen and Valerie flanking me.

“First things first,” Helen says. “
Don’t
chicken out and do it over the phone. That’s the worst possible thing you could do. Anyone would flip out if they got dumped like that.”

Valerie nods. “That’s right. No phone, no text, no e-mail. If you’re going to do it, do it in person. And do it somewhere private. Not in her house where her family can hear.”

“Yes, good, okay,” I say, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. I try to control my growing excitement, but it’s difficult when I think about how this is all going to free me up to be with Leyna.

“Ask her to go for a walk,” Matt offers. “That’s how I’d do it.”

“Oh,
now
who’s the breakup expert?” Helen laughs.

Valerie arches an eyebrow at Matt. “So I guess I should worry now any time you ask me to go for a walk.”

“No, I — I was just saying,” Matt stammers. “For Sean . . . If I was Sean . . . Not . . . That’s not how . . . I mean . . .”

Val smiles and puts her hand on Matt’s knee. “Just kidding,
mon amour.
You can relax.” She turns back to me, suddenly all business. “A walk is a good idea. And make sure to choose your words carefully. Don’t go blaming her or pointing out her faults. Even if she asks you what she could have done better. It’s a trap. Avoid it like the plague. Let her friends be the ones to give her advice.”

My mouth’s drying out. This is a lot to keep track of.

“It’s sort of lame,” Helen adds, “and completely transparent, but saying that it’s
you,
not her, is the best way to go. It’s good to be honest and truthful if you’re trying to make the relationship work, but if you’re absolutely sure you want to end things, there’s no point in hurting her any more than you’re already going to. Just shoulder the blame and tell her she’s great. Doesn’t matter if she sees right through it — it’ll soften the blow.”

“And then get ready for anything,” Valerie says. “You might get silence, tears, anger, a tantrum. Whatever it is, let her have her moment. Take what she gives you and don’t fight back.”

“What if she attacks me?” My throat starts to close up. I can see the whole thing playing out in my mind: Evelyn springing at me like a feral cat, scratching my eyes out, biting hunks of flesh from my neck. “Am I not supposed to defend myself?”

“You can’t hit a girl, dude,” Coop says. “That’s an epic code violation. Just wear some shin guards. And a chest protector. And a cup. Definitely wear a cup.”

Sheeshkabob. I chew on my tongue like a rabid dog as I try to remember where my old Little League equipment is. “I don’t know if I even have a cup anymore.”

Helen laughs. “I seriously doubt it’ll come to that. She’ll probably just cry.”

Valerie pats my arm. “It’ll be fine. Just know that if you
do
break up with her, there’s no going back. Even if you decide later that you made a mistake. So make sure it’s what you really want before you go down that road.”

I look at Val’s hand on me and think of Leyna touching my arm in Drama.

Oh, it is what I want.

No question in my mind.