Called Up (16 page)

“Anywhere but the club,” he said. “
Please
.”

Fitz turned to him, surprised at the desperation in his eyes. It was unlike anything she’d ever seen. It sliced through her as if it were a knife through her skin. She stared at him for a minute, closing her eyes briefly only when his hand fell away. Sitting back against the seat again, she knocked on the window. “The Intercontinental,” she said when the man got back in.

With the slightest of nods, he pulled back into traffic.

Not to say she wasn’t still furious, even more so when they got to the hotel and she realized her clutch, including her phone and key card, was back at the club. Since she now couldn’t get to the floor her suite was on, she jabbed the button for Deke’s room instead, glaring at him. Just as he opened his mouth to no doubt argue with her, his phone rang. Nate’s ringtone. Nate, by the way, who she blamed equally.

With a hiss of breath she crossed her arms against her chest and stared straight ahead.

“At the hotel,” Deke was saying. “Yeah. We just realized she left it. Sounds good.”

The elevator doors opened as he ended the call. Fitz stormed out into the hallway before realizing she didn’t actually know Deke’s room number.

It should have been a sign that he wasn’t gloating in any way, but it wasn’t. Or maybe when he stalked off without even looking in her direction. But, no, she didn’t catch on to that, either. So instead, without any regard to the consequences, the second they got in his room she got up in his face once again and shouted, “What is your freaking problem?” She even reached out to give him a little push—okay, yes, maybe an actual shove—just so he knew exactly how pissed she was.

Except he turned toward her right then and caught her wrist in his hand. The air that had merely been crackling turned into a full-fledged electrical storm, lightning bolts and all. He took a step toward her.
Crash!
She took a step back.
Bam!
Her entire body flushed as the bolts came down around her, and she was pretty sure her hair was standing on end.

Her knees may have even actually buckled when he leaned down. “You, Fitz.
You
are my problem.”

“I...” Er... “What?”

It wasn’t that she hadn’t heard him, of course. It was just that she was a bit dazed at the moment, what with him bringing her wrist up to his mouth and running his lips over the sensitive skin.

And then he was walking her backward to the wall until she came up flush against it as he came up flush against her, as big and solid as she remembered him to be. His forehead dropped down to touch hers. With her heart pounding as loudly as it was, she barely heard his muttered, “I can’t. I’m sorry,” before he started to turn to the door.

She reached out for his hand and stopped him. “Can’t what?” she whispered, pulling him back.

He went still. With the exception of where she was touching him, he was obviously working at keeping the rest of him at bay. His eyes traveled down her body and then back up. “Can’t be near you.” Then he closed his eyes as he leaned in closer, his lips just barely grazing her cheek as he took a deep breath. “Can’t keep watching you.”

Maybe she was still a little tipsy; she clearly wasn’t in her right mind. Because even though she should be in complete support of his leaving this room, the word that came out of her mouth was, “Stay.”

His eyes flew open. “What?”

She brought his hand up to her hair, letting go and leaving it there so her own hands were free to run up and down his chest. “Please stay.”

She didn’t have to say it again. She was suddenly being lifted up. He wrapped her legs around his waist and bent down to kiss her neck while pushing against her and sending her eyes rolling back into her head. Groaning, he let his head fall against hers. “How drunk are you?”

Um... “What?” She was supposed to speak? She opened her eyes to see him staring at her and her heart came to a thudding stop. She turned her head away, both comforted and terrified by the awareness in his gaze. As her friend it was fine. But as her lover...it was too much. She couldn’t get that close. Especially not to a man who knew her well enough to get himself inside the deepening cracks in all those supposedly fortified walls.

Yet she found herself entirely soberly saying, “Not nearly enough.”

He closed his eyes. “Thank fuck.”

His mouth came down on hers, crushing in its intensity. One of his hands tunneled through her hair while the other curved down past the small of her back and he pulled her up against him, her breasts to his chest, her hips lined up with his and all the good parts in between. With a whimper, she grabbed at his belt. She wanted his shirt off, too. About to come apart just from the feel of his tongue against hers, she was nearly delirious with the thought of holding him in her hands. Of having him move inside her again.

He smiled against her lips in agreement, although he seemed a little more focused on her upper body. He’d gotten her down to her camisole without her fully registering it and was now pulling away from her enough to look down between them. He finished unbuttoning his shirt and was down to bare skin. Which was...

Yep. Un-freaking-believably amazing. She ran her hands down his chest, loving the feel of the light dusting of hair over the taut, firm skin. But leaning forward to nuzzle at his neck, meant rocking against that overwhelming heat, reminding her she really just wanted that one thing.

Right now.

She’d already gotten the belt undone and would have been fine with the button and zipper of his pants, except she was distracted by the hard length underneath them and what it did to Deke every time she touched it. Which she proceeded to do, enthusiastically, running her hands up and down, loving the way it twitched and pulsed and how his breath became rapid and shallow. She practically giggled with delight.

“Tease,” Deke said as his hands went to either side of her head. There was a smile, too, albeit a wicked one. Shifting so he had her pinned against the wall, he took her hands, bringing them together and raising them over her head, and held her in place while he took care of his button and zipper. Then took care of hers.

Before she could even catch her breath, his hand slipped down beneath the waistband of her panties. But just as he’d done the first time they’d been together, he paused. “You’re sure?”

“Are you going to ask me that every time?” she asked, wanting him inside her so badly she was about to come out of her own skin.

His eyes went dark. “Are there going to be more times?”

She didn’t have an answer to that. She couldn’t think that far ahead. All she could manage right now was, “Just fuck me, Deke,” she said as she pulled his head down. “We’ll talk after that.”

Thankfully, that seemed to be enough for now. His hand lingered at her clit just enough to set off several shockwaves before going down farther and slipping inside, the heel of his hand firm against her. A tremor tore through her, this one forcing a long, low moan as her head fell back against the wall.

“You like that?” he said into her neck while adding another finger to the one already inside.

Beyond a more drawn out moan than the first one and a shifting of her hips, she was incapable of any response other than another whimper.

“Oh, yeah, you do,” he whispered as he worked his magic.

Shimmering waves radiated through her, and since he just laughed a little as she tried to free her hands, she arched her back, trying to get closer to him that way instead. Oh, God. “
Deke
...” She pressed her hips forward again.

“I know, baby,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.”

Except then he let go of her wrists and his hand was gone from below and he stepped back.

“
No
,” Fitz whined, heart pounding as her hands slapped down flat against the wall in order to hold herself up. She was panting now, her breath coming in short little bursts as she watched him grab his wallet out of his pocket and take out a condom. Holding the packet between his teeth, he dropped the wallet to the floor and dropped down to his knees in front of her.

She had that moment of thinking, Hell, no. Not with
Deke
. “You don’t have to...”

But the words trailed off as he looked up at her with that wicked smile on his face. He pulled her pants and panties down to her thighs, and then, eyes not leaving hers, leaned forward and licked right up through her folds. She tensed. No one had ever done that to her before. No one had ever made her
feel
like this before.

Then he licked again, and again, and then one more time and all coherent thought ceased. Her head thunked back against the wall. “Oh, God,” she gasped. His hands went to the back of her thighs and he pulled her toward him, his tongue delving inside at the same time. Sensation rocked through her and she was trembling, then shaking, and then everything went black and then white and she cried out, maybe screamed, something that may have been his name.

Before she was able to catch her breath, he was standing up, lifting her by the hips, and then bringing her back down, impaling her with a groan and a shudder of his own. “Jesus, Angel. You are so fucking tight.”

But she couldn’t utter a word because she was back to panting and trembling and pretty much out of her skull with the need to feel that again. “Don’t stop. Oh, God,
please
...” She was arching her back, rocking forward against his hips, doing everything she could to have him stroke up against that one perfect spot as he thrust into her, a little deeper each time. Her hands on his shoulders, she clutched at his skin. “Please don’t stop.”

She cupped the back of his neck and pulled his head forward so that his forehead was resting on hers. Then she crushed her mouth to
his
and may have even growled as she ran her hands down his back before cupping his ass and pulling him closer. With a groan, he took the kiss she gave him, then gripped her chin, holding her firmly in place as he took control back and amped up the intensity. His mouth dropped down to her neck as his hand went to her breast.

He nipped at her neck as he thrust into her, obliterating everything else that existed in the universe and replacing it with blinding, frantic need. Desperate for his kiss, she pulled his head back up to hers and sought out his lips. Tears started falling as he took her up and over the edge again, her entire body turning into a quivering mass of sheer bliss.

And then he was seeking out her mouth again, his lips on hers as he thrust into her one, two, three times, before letting his head fall against her shoulder and groaning her name.

They stayed like that, with him still inside her, as their breathing steadied. Honestly? She was one hundred percent sure she’d be okay if they never moved. But he finally looked up at her and tenderly brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I can’t believe I just took you against the wall of a hotel room.” Clearly troubled by that fact, he shook his head and looked away.

She couldn’t either, truth be told. And it was probably the worst idea in the world. But that didn’t stop her from putting her hand on his cheek and bringing him back to her so she could look into his eyes when she told him, “Well, get over it fast, because we’re doing it again.”

Chapter Eighteen

They didn’t do it again. Not against the wall, at least. The second time he took her, it was in the bed, and he happily worshipped every inch of her. He also paid her back for the torture she’d put him through earlier that night, driving her right up to the brink more than once without letting her actually come. He might have done it a few more times if not for her threatening his life if he didn’t...

Well, he was pretty sure her exact words were, “Freaking
fuck
me!” Except she didn’t actually wait for him to respond before she flipped him over and rode him like she was taking the top prize at the goddamn rodeo. His encounters weren’t usually quite that intense. And what intensity there was, was usually supplied by him.

It was the hottest thing he’d ever experienced in his life.

So the third time, he went so hard and deep that he was pretty sure
he’d
be feeling it for weeks. He had no doubt she would.

There hadn’t been a fourth time, although, Christ, he would actually have been willing to try if she made even the slightest move towards it. For now they’d settled on a bath instead. His room wasn’t nearly as nice as the suite she had upstairs next to Nate and Dorie, but the bathtub was big enough for two and there were ceiling high windows looking out over the city. Which, honestly, had seemed a little odd, but Fitz just rolled her eyes and said they had to be one-way and if she didn’t have a problem with it, then he had no excuse. Since the view was spectacular, both of the city and Fitz, he figured it wasn’t worth the fight. And now she was sitting with her back to his front and it felt so right it actually scared him a little.

Her hands running from his knees down to his hips, she leaned back into him. “No wonder you’re happy all the time.”

“Hmm?” he asked. He’d been distracted by her breasts. Again. There were freckles there. He’d never noticed them before.

Laughing, she batted his hands away. Took them into hers and pulled them down to rest against her stomach. Which was also good, because he could inch just a little farther down and—

She sat up abruptly and swatted some bubbles at his face. After laughing even harder, she said, “Money where your mouth is, Deke. If I don’t get to have you inside me, you don’t get to play.”

“You’ve really only been with two other guys?” he asked without thinking. He’d been beyond surprised at her delivery of that news, a declaration between orgasms three and four that she’d now officially come more times with him than she had with all the other guys she’d ever been with combined. Of which there were only two. He also had to admit that for someone who kept so many things so close to the vest, she was remarkably open about sex. Yet another new Fitz fact.

But to her the question apparently meant something else, because now she was frowning. “In no small part thanks to you guys scaring away every guy who even looked my way.”

Well, okay, yeah. Deke could see that. He’d never realized they’d been so effective. Nate would be happy to hear that. Until he found out how Deke had become aware of that tidbit of news.

“None of them were good enough for you. We weren’t about to let some jerk get his hands on you.”

Except, well, three of them
had
, back in that shed, which was still something Deke didn’t like to think about. But think about it he did, and the thought that came to mind was, if he’d been her boyfriend at the time, he might have killed them. Whether they actually hurt her or not, he would have killed them dead.

Considering how incensed the whole idea made him as her friend, if he were her boyfriend now? He still might.

Of course he wasn’t her boyfriend, and they
were
still just friends, it was just that now they were friends who had slept with each other multiple times.

“Where on earth did you just go?” she said, staring at him while she snuggled up against his chest.

“Nowhere.” Which wasn’t true, of course, and her eyes narrowed, a clear sign she was aware of that fact. It was a little strange, in fact. Women tended to like the way he made them feel, in bed for sure and sometimes out of it. But that was about as intimate as it got. This was actually a little disconcerting.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said, while being obviously not so. “Is that man-slut speak for ‘I’ve been inside your body every which way, but God forbid I let you into my head’?”

“Man-slut?” He sat up straight, which of course meant she was also now sitting up straight, little beads of water racing their way down from her shoulders to those damn perfect...

No. He was
not
going to get distracted yet again. Not when she was insulting him like that. No way in hell.

Her hands went to her hips, which wasn’t helping one freaking bit. And then she leaned forward, and since she was straddling his legs, it meant that perfect, tight little bead of a nipple was right where he could—

She stuck her hands in his hair and tilted his head so he had no choice but to look up.

“Well?” she demanded. But then her eyes and voice went soft. “Where did you go?”

He couldn’t lie to her, but at the same, he knew exactly how she’d react to what he was actually thinking, so instead he wrapped his arms around her and held her, something he’d been aching to do for the last three weeks. God, he liked the way she felt up against him, all naked and perfect. Then he closed his eyes and leaned back again, bringing her with him and tucking her head against his shoulder, as he said, “Us man-sluts like to chill after sex, not engage in conversation.”

Her body went tense at that. “Sorry,” she said, her finger tracing the line of his collarbone. “That just came out.”

Shifting a little as her tongue took the place of her finger, he said, “No offense taken. I mean, the fact that I gave you your first three screaming orgasms doesn’t give me special status or anything.”

She laughed. “How do you know you gave me my first three? Who’s to say I’m not as good with my hands as you are?”

Okay. No mistaking his reaction to that one. “I am more than happy to help you confirm that statement,” he murmured, trying to contain his groan as she rubbed all that nice, wet heat up against his dick. And when she started nibbling and sucking at the base of his neck...?
Damn.
“You are
really
good at this for a newbie.”

She stopped abruptly and sat up again. Then she smacked him on the shoulder.

“Ouch!” he said, not at all softly. She’d sure been spending a lot of time hitting him lately and he had to admit, he wasn’t overly fond of it. Not when it was because she was pissed at him for whatever this new reason was. “What the fuck, Fitz? If you want to take it there I’m down with it, but could you give me a little warning first?”

“Why do you do that?” she asked.

As if he had any clue what she was talking about. “Do what?”

Frowning, she reached for a towel. “Change the subject.”

For Christ’s sake. “You’re the one giving me a freaking hickey and rubbing up all over me. How am
I
the one changing the subject?”

She frowned again.

With a deep sigh, Deke leaned back against the cool rim of the tub and rested his arms along the sides. She’d crucify him if he brought up Butler and the shed again, so he didn’t. But it might’ve been better if he had, because instead, lulled into his usual comfort zone around her, he came out and said, “I was thinking about what would happen if I were actually your boyfriend.” Meaning he’d have license to beat up anyone who even looked at her funny. An important distinction, though one he couldn’t mention.

“
What?
” She was up and out of the tub so fast he didn’t have a chance to see any of the good parts.

“Jesus Christ, Fitz,” he said, irritated as she wrapped a towel around herself, her back to him as if he hadn’t just licked every inch of her skin. “I don’t know what those other two guys were like, but if you push me to answer a question, then I’m gonna freaking do it. You know that about me. Or would you rather I revert to freaking man-slut status?” He reached over to grab a towel for himself. “Not that that was offensive, by the way.”

“I said I was sorry,” she said, with enough of a pause to show she actually was.

So much so she seemed unable to look at him as he got out and wrapped his own towel around his waist.

“It’s...” She turned to the sink and reached for a washcloth. “It’s nothing personal.” Her eyes caught his in the mirror for the briefest of seconds before she looked back down. “I don’t want a boyfriend.
Ever.
That’s not for me at all. I just don’t believe in falling in love. That whole happy ending thing.”

Leaning back against the wall, he crossed his arms to watch her run a washcloth under the faucet, not sure he’d heard her right. As she ran it over her face to wipe off whatever makeup they hadn’t already worn away, he said, “Come again?”

She shrugged. Then she went back to the face washing. “I mean, think about it. Lola and Dave? Jules and Jeremiah? Ella and, well, whoever it was she almost got engaged to back in law school?” She shook her head. “I wish Nate and Dorie all the best, but what are the odds of them actually working out?”

What the fuck?

“A hundred percent,” Deke answered. Okay, yes, Lola’s story was not the one anyone wanted. And Deke was now firmly in the Jeremiah Is A Dick camp. Jules was better off without the guy. But Deke believed wholeheartedly that kind of love was possible. Both sets of his grandparents had been married over fifty years, and his parents had just hit forty. “Angel...”

Putting the washcloth down and turning to him, Fitz glared. “Don’t ‘Angel’ me.” She took another towel and used it to dry her hair. “I love them both to death and I think they’re great together.” She rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine. You’re right. Even
I
think they’ll probably make it.” She shook her head. “But odds are I’m either Mama Gin, who gets left with three kids to raise all on her own, or my own mom, who either finds out after the fact she was the other woman, or who knew it all along. I don’t like either of those options.” She hung the towel to dry. “Not that there are any guys beating down my door, so it’s a moot point anyway.”

First of all, the idea of any guy other than him beating down her door wasn’t one Deke could handle at the moment. Not without admitting to a streak of jealousy so fierce it was frightening. Second of all, though... Did she not see herself ever falling in love? Did she not even want to? How in the hell had she gotten that one past him, too?

“So you don’t see yourself five years from now presiding over trivia night at the bar while I’m home taking care of our babies?”

Holy shit, he did not just say that.

She let out a bark of a laugh. “Not even close.” Then she looked at him and her eyes went wide. “You’re joking, right? Oh, my God, please tell me you’re joking.” She turned her back on him and left the bathroom, leaving him to stare after her.

“Of course I’m joking!” he called out, after he’d managed to get his senses back.

And since now he
did
have his senses back, he could admit, yes, she had a valid point about Mama Gin and her own mom. Things weren’t black and white, though. There were eight billion shades of gray out there in the world and a whole hell of a lot of other permutations. Plus, she’d never even so much as asked Mama Gin about her father. Maybe there was more to the story than what she knew. He pushed himself off the wall and followed after her.

By the time he came back into the bedroom, she had on her camisole and was buttoning up her pants. Although he should probably leave it alone, he said, “Did it ever occur to you there was maybe another side to the whole thing with your dad?”

Deke had been four, maybe five years old when Nate’s father left, but he was pretty sure it hadn’t been the happiest of marriages. And, yeah, even before he’d known the term or heard it from the rest of Inspiration for years after the fact, he’d known the man was an alcoholic. Deke had lived it, but he’d been so young that there were very few memories. Of those there were, however, they ranged from the laughter he’d remembered to fits of anger that, unlike the story Deke had told Fitz about their fathers, he’d never joke about. Even at that age he and Nate had known what lines not to cross.

As long as he was bringing it up, however... “Did he ever tell you why you guys were heading into Inspiration that night? He had to know there’d be people who wouldn’t be too happy to see him, so he must have had a reason, right?”

Fitz’s head jerked up. “What?”

Coming all the way into the room, Deke sat down on the edge of the bed. “I mean, there’s twelve steps. Making amends is a big one.”

She went a little pale.

Given how she’d responded when he’d asked her about talking to Mama Gin about her father, he held back from saying the words that came to mind, which were,
Please, God, tell me you’ve thought about this at least once in your life
.

But from the way the color drained out of her face and she said, “You think he was...? Do you think he was going to...?”

Holy fuck. She
hadn’t
. She truly had locked all of these things away. Little boxes marked Things Never To Think About and with the keys nowhere to be found.

Jesus. He reached out and gathered her into his arms as she looked up at him, tears forming and spilling over from her eyes. “If he was coming back to see them... That’s... That’s just so much sadder.”

Yeah, it was. It really fucking was.

He took hold of her hips and tugged her toward him until she was standing between his legs. Well, fucking
Christ
. His intention hadn’t been to make her feel worse.
Nice one, asshole.

“Stay here tonight.” He couldn’t let her leave like this. He’d wanted her to stay even before this conversation. Now? No question.

She wiped her eyes as she let him pull her in closer. She even gave a little laugh. “Right. And we’re going to say what, exactly, when Nate bangs down the door first thing in the morning?”

Yeah, they were skating on razor thin ice. At the moment, though, Deke didn’t give a shit. “He knows you’re locked out of the suite and with me.” Plus, since it was three in the morning and no one had banged down the door yet, Deke figured they’d be safe for the rest of the night. “Use my phone to text Dorie. Tell her you’re crashing here.”