Calling Kupid (Kupid's Cove Book 1) (21 page)

“Because?”

“They were about to put a valve in my heart that was artificial. That meant I would have to take a drug that thins my blood.”

“Coumadin.”

“How did you know that?”

“I saw your medication bottles. I know what Coumadin does.”

Her mouth made an O and she eventually nodded. “I have to take it to prevent clots because of the valve. It’s not safe for pregnancy.”

“Aren’t there other medications that thin your blood, but are safe for pregnancy?”

“There are, but it’s still not ideal. It greatly increases the risks to the baby and the mother. If that were the only issue then maybe I would have hesitated longer, but…. See, Gideon, my heart is weak. Pregnancy requires a lot from a woman’s body.”

“So pregnancy would stress your heart and that might cause even more problems.”

She nodded, her chin trembling again. “Pregnancy could cause my heart to give out and both the baby and I would die. Add to that my uterus was questionable if it could sustain a life for nine months and suddenly I was faced with a decision no one should have to make at sixteen. I knew the only choice was the hysterectomy, because if I got pregnant accidentally I wouldn’t be able to kill my own child just so I could live.”

I held her to me and kissed her. “I’m so sorry, honey. You’ve suffered so unjustly in life, but I want you to know I don’t care about what you can’t give me. I care about what you do give me. You give me so much hope for my life that I can’t imagine going back to the way it was last week when I felt none.”

“But I know you want a child,” she insisted.

I nodded. “I do want a child, with you.”

She struggled out of my hold, but only managed to get out of the robe. She sat in front of me naked as the day she was born without even realizing it. “That’s why I’m trying to tell you this can’t happen!”

I held her bare arms and rubbed them to quiet her. “Do you want to have a baby with me?”

“Gideon,” she moaned, “did you hear anything I said?”

I nodded. “I heard it all, but answer me, please.”

She looked down at her hands, her voice falling to a whisper. “I’ve always dreamed of having a little girl who I could teach all the things her grandma would have if she were alive. When I look at you I dream about a little boy who looks like you and loves to go flying in a hopter scopter.”

Her voice broke on the last word and I wiped the tear that fell from her eye. “I see a little girl who has the same eyes as you and beautiful long hair I can braid.” Her eyes rounded and I smiled encouragingly. “Yes, I know how to braid. My mother had long hair all her life and I always wanted to braid it.”

“I hope someday your dream comes true, Gideon,” she whispered, looking down at herself. It must have struck her that she was naked because she crossed her arms over her breasts ashamed.

I removed her arms again, determined to show her that she couldn’t hide from me.

“You know, there’s more than one way to skin a cat,” I joked and she finally looked up, one brow furrowed.

“What?”

“That’s what my dad used to say all the time. Makes you stop and think, which was always his point, but he was right. Maybe you can’t carry a child, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be parents. Do you have eggs?”

“Yes, there is just no place for them to go each month so they die and are reabsorbed.”

“So, technically speaking we can still have our child, genetically, if we find a surrogate to carry the child for us.”

“That’s true, but it’s very expensive.”

I rubbed her cheek. “Why do you think He said I needed those extra years of experience before we met? I have money, Katie, and I would give it all up to give you the one thing you never believed you could have. There are a lot of ways to bring a child into our life, genetically ours or not, they would still carry our name, but more importantly they would carry our love.”

Her whole body was trembling as she stared into my eyes. The thing she had believed to be a punishment for so long was suddenly wiped away with the truth of my words. I could give, and would give, her the world, if only she would let me. I rubbed the scar in the center of her chest rougher than I wanted, but she wasn’t breathing. “Honey, you have to remember to breathe. What are you thinking right now?”

I heard her audible intake of air and then a sob escaped on the exhale. “I love you so much in this moment I can’t speak,” she cried, her arms going around my neck. Her warm body was like balm to my soul. I wrapped my arms around her back and kissed her neck.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” she whispered from over my shoulder.

“I’m thinking that I love you like the ocean loves the moon, Katie. Without the moon, the ocean doesn’t know when to rise and when to fall. Without you I’m not the same man I am when I’m with you.” I pressed a kiss to her cheek and she turned her head, so I could kiss her lips.

Her naked body and sweet lips ignited a fire deep inside me. Every second her body lingered against mine was stoking it, and every whimper from the back of her throat was adding fuel. It was becoming harder and harder to control.

I laid her down on the bed and lowered my head to capture the nipple that was begging for my touch.

“Oh, Gideon,” she moaned when my tongue flicked across the tender bud. “Don’t stop, please,” she begged.

I replaced my mouth with my thumb, moving up to claim her lips again. When I touched her between her legs she thrust up, her hips telling me how much she wanted me to make her feel alive. I laid over her, both hands in her hair and my lips on hers.

“Please,” she whimpered, but I know she knew it wasn’t going to happen. I could see it in her eyes.

I kept my lips near hers, kissing them every few seconds until she calmed. “I want to make love to you right now, can you feel how much?” She nodded with wide eyes. “I can’t. You know that. I can’t let your first time be like this.”

“We’re alone and I love you, what’s wrong with that?”

I ran my hand down her face and my thumb across her lips. “There’s nothing wrong, but you’ve been travelling on a plane for nearly an entire day. You’re exhausted. You need to get some rest before you do something you’ll regret.”

“I wouldn’t regret making love to you,” she said weakly.

I kissed the tip of her nose and tried to hide just how badly I wanted to believe that. “Do you want me to be honest?” I asked and she nodded, the light in her eyes going out a little. “I’m worried that if you don’t get some rest before we make love your heart might not be able to take the exertion. I don’t want that to ruin the moment.”

She laughed softly and my own heart didn’t feel so heavy in my chest. “My, you do think highly of your skills in bed.”

“Don’t even get me started, sweetheart.” I winked and she smiled softly, pulling the bathrobe back around her when I sat up.

I put the empty plates back on the cart and pushed it into the hall, after checking for anyone loitering near our door. I relocked the door and stashed the half a bottle of wine in the fridge. I shut down the lights with one hand while stripping my clothes off with the other, but left my now deflated boxers on.

“It’s almost three a.m. We should sleep so we can enjoy our time in paradise.”

I sat on the bed and she pointed towards her bag. “Would you grab my nightgown? This bathrobe is not comfortable for sleeping in.”

I untied the belt and let it slide off her shoulders. It was pure torture to see her sweet breasts, but I forced myself to finish the job, pulling it out from under her.

“This is paradise, Katie. You don’t need a nightgown. You get to sleep under the silky sheets naked, with me.”

She slipped her legs under the blankets and turned onto her left side, tucking the pillow under her head. “That sounds nice…”

I shut the light off and lay behind her, snuggling her to my body. She was already asleep, the soft rise and fall of her chest easily felt with my hand resting there, right between her asymmetrical breasts, right over the heart that was perfect.

Katie

I woke with a start. I sat up, my breath fast and uneven as I looked about the room. Where was I?

“Katie? What’s wrong?” Gideon asked. Hearing his voice brought me back to the hotel room again.

I rubbed my forehead and tried to slow my breathing, the dream still vivid in my mind. I focused on the light filtering through the room darkening curtains. The clock on the table said six a.m. I had only been asleep for three hours?

His hand moved up my bare back and stopped at my neck, massaging it. “Are you okay?”

I lay down again, resting my cheek on his chest. “Sorry, I just had a bad dream I guess. Go back to sleep.”

“You’re trembling.”

“It was scary,” I whispered. “We were walking on the beach and…”

He rubbed my arm and kissed my shoulder with warm lips, “And?”

“Someone shot you. You fell into my arms and your blood was all over me.” I tried to force my voice to stay in lawyer mode, but there was too much fear in my belly.

“Shhhh, I’m right here, honey. No one is shooting anyone. I’m not going anywhere.”

I nodded my head on his soft chest and took a few deep breaths. “I don’t think I can go back to sleep right now.”

He laid me back on the pillows and then propped his head on his hand. “I love you.”

I smiled. “I love you, too. I wish we were here on a lovers’ getaway, not because our lives depended on it.”

“It can’t be both?” he asked, his eyes shining as mine adjusted to the dim light.

The room was cold and I could feel my nipples reacting to the coolness of the air. I reached for the sheet, but he stopped the motion of my hands.

“I’m enjoying the view, right here, in my bed, if you don’t mind.”

I let go of the silk sheet and relaxed into the pillow. He traced the scar that ran across my belly with his finger and I felt my muscles tremble under his touch.

“In reference to your question, I suppose it could be both, if we want it to be.”

One side of his lips went up. “I want it to be. How about you?”

I swallowed and nodded, the earlier fear replaced by a sensation of heat slithering through me like a snake on a mission. Anticipation sat in my belly and I knew the time was near.

“I love your scars,” he whispered and I looked up into his eyes. “They are tangible proof of the battles you fought and won. These marks tell me so much. I see all the times when life tried to bring you down, but you rose up, fought, and won.”

“I never looked at it that way. I always saw them as marks that took me further and further away from being perfect, which was something I really wanted. I really wanted to be perfect.”

“The definition of perfect is to have all the required or desired elements, qualities or characteristics, which to me means you’re perfect. Regardless of the marks on your skin, you have all the qualities I desire. You’re beautiful, smart, caring, honest, and strong with a fighting spirit that can only be called courageous.” He rubbed his hand up the scar, stopping at my neckline. “That is my definition of perfect.”

“I really needed to hear that, thank you.”

He kissed my hand and sat up, looking down at me with the most wonderful look on his face. “I should be thanking you, for giving me that second chance a few weeks ago. If your heart wasn’t so willing to forgive I wouldn’t have had a chance to show you how much I’ve changed.”

His words filled me with pride and confidence that I hadn’t felt just a few minutes earlier. “I think we’ve both learned a lot about ourselves over the last year.”

He ran a hand down my face and rubbed his thumb across my bottom lip. “I sure have. I don’t want to feel that way ever again, so don’t even think about leaving me. Got it?”

I kissed his thumb as an answer and he got off the bed, going to the small wet bar.

“What are you doing?” I asked, sitting up against the soft headboard.

He came back over with the bottle of wine and two glasses. He set them on the nightstand before he climbed back into the massive bed. It was so high you practically needed stairs, but the way the down encompassed you made it worth the effort.

“I want to propose a toast,” he answered, filling the wine glasses half-full and resting the bottle in the ice bucket. He handed me the glass and raised his.

“To Cupid, for shooting his arrow into my lifeless heart.”

I smiled and chuckled a little before raising my own glass. “To Cupid.”

We clinked glasses and drank the sweet red wine. I was still naked and while I should have been embarrassed, I wasn’t. All of my imperfections were showing, but suddenly they didn’t feel like imperfections anymore. They felt like battle scars that I should wear proudly.

My glass was empty and I could already feel the alcohol relaxing me. He took the glass and set it next to his, then leaned down and drank from my lips the same as he had the glass - quickly, and thirstily. His hand rubbed a circle on my stomach, over to my side and up to the spot just below my breasts.

He ended the kiss, and I could feel him pulling away, wanting to wait, waiting for me.

“The best way to make this a lovers’ paradise is to actually make love to me,” I whispered against his lips.

“We can be in love without you giving yourself to me,” he answered, his eyes closed.

“What’s stopping you from taking me right here, right now?” I asked, shifting my head to look into his eyes.

“Honestly?” I nodded and he kissed me again, his eyes closed and his whole body trembled. “The idea of being your first makes me afraid I won’t be good enough.”

I reached up and caressed his chin, the five o’clock shadow rough under my fingers. “This isn’t about your skills in bed, is it?”

He shook his head minutely. “For some men, being a woman’s first is a feeling of satisfaction, of taking a trophy home with them. I don’t feel that way.”

“How do you feel?” I asked, my hand running down his chest and resting at the muscles just above his waistband. I don’t know what you call them, but they put my libido into overdrive just looking at them.

“This isn’t about being your first, for me. This is about being your only.”

I raised my eyes to his and smiled. “I’ve waited twenty-seven years for the man who would be my only. I’m looking at him.”

He moaned and took my lips again, kissing me until I finally had to push him away just to breathe. He lowered his lips to my neck and down the length of my scar until he was between my breasts placing kisses up and down the sides of each one. I grabbed his head and moved so the next kiss landed directly on my nipple. He sucked it into his mouth gently and ran his tongue around the bud, warming it. I arched my back, pressing it further into his mouth. He tugged with his teeth until he let it go completely, making me mourn the loss of him against me.

He sat up and took an ice cube from the bucket, sucking at the dripping water. He ran it from my belly button all the way to my right breast, painfully slow, until he circled the now flaccid nipple. In seconds, it was hard again, straining towards his lips when they came down over it. I whimpered in response, a sound of desperate need that only he could fill. He rose up on his knees and kissed my lips as his hand performed the same ice cube torture on my left nipple.

“Oh, Gideon. I want you so much right now,” I sighed, his tongue back on my nipple, warming it from the cold cube.

His hand strayed to between my legs subtly but purposefully. His fingers slipped inside me effortlessly and he moaned low against my breast. “You’re ready for me, aren’t you?” he asked, kneeling before me.

I reached out and lowered his boxers. The wonder of seeing him up close was consuming me and I wanted to touch him, kiss him, and feel him inside me. I circled him with my hand and felt his hardness, his power, and his need, but it didn’t scare me, because I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. I kissed the tip and ran my tongue around him in a circle that drew a gasp and a hip thrust from him instantaneously.

“Katie,” he sighed as I kissed the length of him.  “Do you understand what you’re doing to me?”

“Mmmmhmmmm,” I moaned, watching his face as it sent vibrations all the way through him.

He captured my face and brought me up to meet his lips, where he kissed me until I went limp so he could lower me to the bed.

“Take me now, Gideon, please,” I begged, but he put a finger to my lips, his eyes hooded.

“Soon, love, but first,” he said, his hand reaching for the ice bucket again. “I’m going to torture you a little bit longer. Open your legs.”

I did what he said and he ran the cube from the mound of hair down to my bare lips. The initial coldness quickly changed to a feeling that made my thighs quiver with anticipation as his tongue lapped up the melting cube.

I wound my hands in his hair and he stopped, looking up at me. “Tell me what you want, Katie.”

“I want you inside me, now,” I ordered.

He rose up over me, his tip resting at my entrance. “Tell me to stop, now, Katie,” he begged, but instead I thrust up with my hips and felt him fill me completely.

I moaned and wiggled my bottom a little, trying to get used to the feeling that was so foreign, but so welcome.

“Katie, oh sweet Katie,” he sighed. “I want to stay here forever.” He moved slowly, watching my face for the cues he needed. “Am I hurting you?” he asked against my lips, nipping at the bottom one.

“No, you feel so good, I want to fly with you,” I begged.

He thrust into me again gently, until I pressed back and settled him even deeper. He gasped, pulling a nipple into his mouth, staying buried deep inside me. I was writhing under him, trying to find my own release, but he held me there, just on the precipice of total abandonment.

I was just relaxing into the feeling when he thrust his hips upwards, touching parts of me that had never been touched by anyone.

“Katie, it’s been too long, I can’t hold on much longer,” he cried softly.

“I’m ready,” I promised, wrapping my legs around his waist and lifting my hips upwards. He slipped another inch deeper. That was the moment he hit the spot everyone says is just waiting for the right guy to come along. I couldn’t stop the wave of convulsions that began in the very depths of me. My cries were almost soundless as I ran my nails down his back, grasping him with every ounce of power I had. He stilled in me, moaning with each second that passed until I had come down a little from my own ascent. He began to move again, finding just the right rhythm to lose control and start that short dive off the tall cliff.

“Katie,” he called, stilling inside of me, “can we go now?” he asked, thrusting forward one more time. I felt myself jump right over the cliff again, my hand in his.