Callisto (26 page)

“No, I mean for me.”

“What do you want a lawyer for, in case Chief Webb drags you down to the station again?”

“Kind of.”

“Wait and see if he does that. Maybe all the interviewing is over and done with now that the FBI talked to us.”

“It's just … I don't know, maybe I'm not right for being a prison guard.”

“Sure you are, I told you, and the word is in with Cole so all you need to do is show up for the interview Friday and prove to him you can tie your own shoelaces and the job's yours. Don't let me down on this, Odell.”

“Only I'm thinking I might not be …you know, tough enough.”

“What are you talking about, a guy as big as you? Don't start doubting yourself. Self-doubting is a negative force that eats away at you from the inside, I read a book about that and it made a lot of sense, so you quit that right now.”

She hung up. I forgot again to tell her I'm using my new phone. Next time. One thing I kept thinking about is how she thinks official police property like the Okeydokey DVD can't get sold. My interview tape is official police property and it's already on the market. But Lorraine has got enough to worry about without that on top of all the rest.

That French food was not enough to satisfy the inner man, so I went down to the freezer for something real to eat for a late afternoon snack or maybe early dinner, and made a selection of Tater Tots and corn on the cob plus Sara Lee cheesecake, only I'll have to let the cheesecake thaw in its own sweet time before eating, so that will be a late dessert to be having. Then I settled down to do some thinking about what Larry Dayton has told me, his offer about the tape. I turned it over and over for a long time while the Tater Tots and corn were cooking, and by the time they're ready to eat I still couldn't make up my mind about that, so I decided to sleep on it as the saying goes and maybe make a decision tomorrow. It was good American food I dished up for myself and it went down easy, after which I napped awhile in front of the TV with the sound off, very comfortable there on the sofa. I had been sleeping in Dean's room after spending that one night in Bree's. I had expected nightmares in both rooms, but that didn't happen, so I have not got a guilty conscience or anything like that, this is the proof.

But now on the sofa I did have a nightmare that happened this way – I'm in my car which is running smooth and strong for once and Dean is next to me toking on a joint and watching the world speed by, only I can't really see the landscape so it could be anywhere. Dean looked exactly like I remembered him except he's wearing this bright orange jumpsuit like prisoners wear, only he's not in prison he's in my car.

He turns to me and says, “I only did it to piss her off, you know, for a joke.”

“Piss who off?”

“Bree, who else. She's been beating me up over not going to
church since forever, and I got so sick and tired about the way she's shoving Jesus down my throat I got hold of some Muslim books and said to her I'm gonna go to the mosque, not to church. And I would've done if we had one around here but we don't. Man, did she have a shitfit about that, got real upset and says my soul's in danger. Well, I was only kidding, but I started reading those books and it seemed to me like there's truth in there, you know, wisdom. I needed some of that, everyone does. So I'm thinking okay, I'll quit drinking which I know is a bad thing, and quit with the pigmeat and see how I go with that, baby steps, see what I mean? Starting to be a Muslim but only a little bit, like I'm still not sure but I'll go along with it awhile and see what happens, you know?”

“And what happened?”

“You killed me, man, so now I'll never know if I had it in me to be a good Muslim. That might've been all I needed to turn my life around, only you went and fucked it up for me, Odell, you son of a bitch prick-eating fuck!”

He reached across and grabbed the steering wheel and we went over a cliff that I didn't even know was there, and on the way down he starts singing at the top of his crazy voice, “I'm a little teapot short and stout, Here is my handle, Here is my spout …” That cliff was a long, long drop. When we hit the ground it woke me up so sudden I flew up from the sofa like it's a bed of red-hot nails. I fell on the floor with my throat all closed off and struggling to breathe, then it opened up and I pulled in air like a pump, with sweat rolling off me like I just got out of a pool or something and my heart racing
budumbudumbudum.

I stunk like a dead fish I sweated so bad. After a shower I
felt better, but not much. By then the cheesecake was thawed and I ate half to calm myself down and put the rest in the fridge for tomorrow. After that I was okay, it was only a dream after all and nothing to get weird about.

It was sundown by then. I went out to the back yard and stared at the mound, telling Dean to back off, it wasn't my fault and he never should've woke me up with a whisper in my ear about some bullshit intruder he thought he heard, especially not with a shotgun in his hand even if it had no shells. It was Dean's fault what happened, not mine, him and his fucked-up personality! I felt like I didn't have a friend in the world.

But I did have a friend. Agent Jim Ricker was my friend, he told me so himself. His little bird kept an eye on all his friends which I am one of, he said. So I took out my little phone and keyed the index and up popped Jim's number. I pressed the call bar. You don't even have to dial the number, the phone does that all by itself, which is digital technology which I am now a big fan of.

“Hello, Odell.”

He said that without me saying who I am because the caller ID number is flashing on his screen. Digital technology!

“Hey, Jim.”

“What's on your mind?”

“Oh, nothing much. The FBI come and talked to me about everything.”

“Uhuh, and how did that go?”

“Oh, fine, I guess. They were nicer than Chief Webb.”

“Professional courtesy, Odell, it goes a long way.”

“Yeah.”

“Anything else?”

“Well … I'm in the back yard and the sun's going down. Wait … I'll show you.”

I sent him a little movie, sweeping the phone around so he can see the mound in the yard and the sunset happening behind it.

“Is that the so-called empty grave I'm seeing there, Odell?”

“Uhuh, with nothing in there but dirt, they checked it twice, the police.”

“Good to know they're being thorough.”

“Yeah, but I had to do the digging-out the second time.”

He laughed. “Is that why you're sore at Chief Webb?”

“No … well, maybe. Hey, Jim, can you see me?”

“Why do you ask that, Odell?”

“I'm just wondering. If those satellites are always going around and around the earth there must be times when yours is on the other side of the world, so then you can't see me.”

He chuckled very friendly then says, “Any system worthy of the name has got more than one arrow in its quiver, Odell. There are hundreds of satellites up there, so just as one is passing below the horizon another one is coming up over the opposite horizon, and chances are there's one in between that's pretty much over your head as we speak.”

“So you
can
see me?”

“The answer to your question is classified, Odell. You wouldn't want me to break the rules now, would you?”

“I guess not.” I had a great idea then and raised my left arm. “Just tell me which arm is lifted up right now.”

He laughed again. “The left,” he said, and my mouth dropped open. He really
can
see me! “Wow!”

He laughed again. “You're right-handed aren't you, Odell.”

“Uhuh.”

“Then that's the hand your phone is in, which means you raised your left arm, right?”

“Uh … yeah. So you can't see me?”

“I told you, that's classified. You have a pleasant Saturday night, Odell.”

He rung off. It was a disappointment about him not being able to see me after all. It made me feel good for a moment there knowing he's watching over me like a big brother. But maybe he
could
see me and just can't say so outright because that's classified.

I went inside and poured myself a shot of the Captain and drunk it down, then poured another. There is nothing like the Captain to settle me calm and peaceful. I surfed the channels and found one of those Nature shows about wolves in Canada or somewhere. All the wolves have gone from America except some they brung back into the national parks to cull the buffalo which we have not got very many of these left either, so why bring the wolves back to kill some more? Anyway these were not wolves from around here, about six of them living in a pack, but then tragedy strikes when one of the wolves goes blind with cataracts in his eyes.

This poor wolf, he blundered around not seeing anything and acting weird because he's blind, and the other wolves they couldn't understand why he's acting that way because they're only animals so they don't know about blindness, they only know this wolf is acting weird. And here's the sad part, it pisses them off to have him hanging around and acting weird like he is. They have got no sympathy for this poor wolf and
just snap at him when he comes blundering along to be close to them. They don't want him around so they bite him to make him go away, and the poor fucking wolf he gets lonelier and lonelier and hardly ever gets anything to eat because he can't hunt and only feeds on leftovers now and then that he finds with his nose. So after awhile he died and the other wolves wouldn't go near him even then to give him a farewell sniff or something. It was just the saddest thing to see. Going blind was not the wolf 's fault but he got punished anyway, not just by being blind, the worst thing was how the other wolves turned on him and run him off just because he's different to them, that was the saddest part about this, and it made me start crying like a baby, it's so sad. Ordinarily I don't do that, cry, I mean, but I felt so sorry for that poor creature that didn't do anything wrong but got punished anyway and then died never knowing why any of it happened. I was glad when it ended and I could watch something else.

No matter how much I flicked from one channel to the next there's all these political commercials even if the election is still a year and more away. They always do this, start telling you which way to vote a long ways before you need to be choosing. You just can't get away from it even by hitting the mute button. Those flags just keep right on waving and those people keep right on smiling and looking proud to be American, especially the cute little girl waving this tiny Stars'n'Stripes, about four years old with a big grin and underneath it says
Do It For Her
.

Senator Ketchum is in most of the Republican ads looking stern and wise and proud, saying things like, “America was built on hard work and the promise of Justice for All. That
same promise works in other nations too if they're given the chance. That's why we're there. Americans will never cut and run when called upon to help. That's what makes us Americans.” The other team is saying stuff like, “When it's broke – fix it. Let's not go any further down the Wrong Road.” And they've got their own cute little kid waving a flag and saying, “Bring my Daddy home, we miss him so bad.”

Whichever ad was on, that's the one I liked, the party I intended voting for. But then the other team comes on saying the opposite thing and it seems like they're the ones talking sense and I should go vote for them instead. Only then the first bunch come on strong about Holding the Line and Not Backing Down and I think they're the ones have got the right message now, so I seesawed back and forth between them till I wished I could go hibernate like a bear and not hear another word about voting and let someone smarter than me decide which one should be in the White House.

Now, my personal opinion, it should be Condoleezza Rice running for President and not Senator Ketchum. I would give my vote to her whichever party she was with regardless, I like her so much. And what most people don't know, Condi is a very good piano player, not just political but artistic, and how many of that kind do you get in Washington? Not too damn many that's for sure. If it was Condi got elected President the first thing she'd do, she'd tell the park rangers to bring in any blind wolf they saw out there in the wilderness and give him a cataract operation so he will not die lonely and not understanding why. Condi would do that because being a woman she is sensitive to the needs of others, which I am not so sure about Senator Ketchum.

S
unday back in Yoder, Wyoming, was the dismalest day of the week bar none, I am not kidding. Sunday in Yoder is good for preparing you to be anything at all in any other place in the world, because you don't want to be someone in Yoder on a Sunday anymore. This is true for everyone that lived there even if they tell you different. Feenie Myers one time told me nine out of ten Yoderites say outright they can't stand the place and the tenth one is just a liar.